Temptation
by CandyCoatedDeath
Summary: Based on thirteen:Manny stopped with the drugs and her life is so much better but when Craig's away old habbits will play.Will the trip to California make it better or worse?Cranny Sex,drugs,rape,prostition,suicide,death
1. Default Chapter

_Hi,I had an old screen name before but since then i realized that i was trying too hard to go for plot and not enough time_

_trying to explain the character fully.Like adding thoughts.So i will try my hardest,and if u have advice(kind advice i hope)_

_tell feel free to let me know,or if you like the story and want to review please do! Alright i hope you enjoy_

_and please review.It's based on a movie which I think is really good called thirteen.But it's not like exactly like that.Also will have sub plots._

**Summary**:Manny finally got her life back together,friends with Craig even..but when a new girl comes will she

take her back to the life that she just recovered?Or even worse?Ashley comes back from London..and not sure of the relationship

**rated**:pg-13 for violence,drug use,breif sex,language,situations involving teens

**Disclaimer**:I do not own Degrassi

**warnings**:in future chapters there may be a scene not meant for younger audience which i will change the ratings

a/n:even if i dont get that much reviews i will continue to update because I really fell in love with the plot and

i think this teaches us a lesson to always choose the right friends and learn to say no.

**Long Chapter**

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_One lesson that we learn in life is that some promises are meant to be broken.And the word promise is overated.It's a trust word.But how can you be sure when you make a promise to that person later the trust will still be there?It won't;most likely.Like when you were little you had a best friend but as time changes so do you and it's nothing you can control you grow apart.Then that trust you had before is gone...Sometimes you can control how you change.Then if you can that means it's up to you weither you want the trust but if you have to think about it then was the trust ever there?_

* * *

Chapter 1:**The Start of the End**

The pale moonlight gently touched the houses like a mothers hand to her child's face.The city seemed so quiet yet like

anything could happen and you knew it would.As we look through a window we can see two girls.

Then a car pulls up and the blinding lights fade as the car turns off.

"They're comming!"Roxy shouted facing Manny.

"What?"Manny asked still shocked.

"What the hell you said-"

"I know what I said!"Manny yelled.

"Well we're gonna get caught!"Roxy panicked.She walked around the room and started picking things up.

"Do we flush em' ?"Manny asked.Roxy looked and was about to protest when they heard footsteps.

"Manuella!We're home."Her mother said as she walked upstairs.She heard whispers,as she opened the door knob.

Three months earlier...

Manny rolled over on the bed.She sighed and she sat up and yawned.As she opened her eyes the light had hit her eyes.

"Ow!"Manny hissed in pain.As she rubbed her sore eyes.She then opened her eyes slowly looking down.manny looked around and leaned on the

end of the bed.She looked over and saw her best friend Emma sleeping on a sleeping bag.

"Wake up."Manny whispered.

Emma grabbed the sleeping bag and pulled it over her head."Less talk more sleep."Emma groaned.

Manny POV

_Man she's lazy.Oh well I was too until the sun burned my eyes.I looked around me and saw Emma's room.This room had so many memories for me.It reminds me when I was helping Emma pack to move down to the basement.As we looked at all her old things.We had laughs.Memories like those I cherish and am grateful i can remember._

_Others...on the other hand...aren't so good._

_I remember almost two years ago I snuk here with Craig after a Rave.We were going to do it since we have done it before but thankfully Emma caught us.That lead to more drama._

I stepped off her bed and kneeled down to where Emma was now snorring.

"Emma we need to get up!"I said as I shook her furiously."Emma first day of eleventh grade!"

Emma then shot up like the way a bullet just fires from a gun.I was startled as I fell back.

"I soo forgot!"Emma said nervously.

"Umm yeah because you usually are waking me up."I laughed.

Emma forced a smile but I could tell she was more focused on school.

"What time is it?"She asked while getting up and folding her sleeping bag.

"Well it's...6:55 a.m"I replied looking at her green alarm clock.

"We have five minutes to talk."Emma giggled.

"Talk..yeah we need to."I said.

I sat on the bed and so did she.

"Thanks for letting me sleepover my mom and dad are always out of town it's annoying."I thanked her.I then let my hair down.

"No problem..it's just I don't want to repeat last year."Emma sighed.

_Last year wasn't as eventful for me as it was for Emma.She and Jay had thier thing and well ever since people now judged her as they judge me.I'm last years news.In a way I am sooo glad.I couldn't stand being the center of attention for something bad.But one bad thing about me is that I needed attention.Like I did with Craig,I craved it.But that was then and this is now._

"It won't promise!"I said hugging Emma.

She then sighed heaviliy."We won't know that."

"Well we will try to make it less drama."I said trying to lighten the mood.

Right and you promise even though-this sounds corny but-promise that we will be best friends."Emma said.

"Promise."I said hugging her.

No One's POV

Emma got ready.She put a maroon tank top with some jean pants.She had a jean jacket on top.Her hair was in a bun,the bangs she had gently came on her forehead.She applied lip gloss that had little pink in it but not too much.Emma put some black shoes on and went into the kitchen.

"Morning mom,where's dad?"Emma asked.

"Oh morning sweety your father is at Degrassi preparing his lesson."Spike said.She was just preparing the breakfeast and setting it on the table.

Emma sat down and looked around.

"Mom?Where's Jack?"Emma asked.

"Oh he's in the crib in the living room."Spike replied giving Emma Bacon and Eggs."I need to get things done in here."she smiled.

"Well it's undertsandable."Emma laughed.

Then they heard footsteps and saw Manny.

She had some tight jean pants and a black tight tank top.Her hair was down and straight and she had some sunglasses in her hair.Manny had hooped earings and some sandle/high heel shoe.Her make up was just lip gloss and mascara.

"Hey!Good morning!"Manny smiled.

"Morning Manny want some breakfeast?"Spike asked.

"You don't even have to ask!"Manny chirped.She sat down and Spike served her."Thank you Spike!"

"My pleasure."Spike said.She started to wash the pans."Emma i'm not going to be home until nine and your father is comming home at eight so-"

"So you want me to baby sit Jack?"Emma finished her sentence while swallowing her eggs.

"Yes,i'm sorry."Spike said appologetic.

"No problem mom,I mean i'm gonna be swamped with homework."Emma groaned.

"Haha to be young again."Spike sighed.She then looked at Manny."Oh are you comming over?"

"Um if it's okay.."Manny said cautiously because she was embaressed.

"Manny I consider you like a second daughter,of course you can I mean you can stay until your parents come back."Spike said now sitting down at the table with the girls.

"Thanks Spike it means a lot to me,and i'll help baby sit Jack and even do chores!"manny suggested.

"You can do mine!"Emma laughed.

"Emma!"Spike playfully tickled her."Well you two better get going."

"Right."Manny said clearing the table.

"Bye girls."Spike said hugging them both.

The two girls stepped outside.

"Hot outfit."Emma said.

Manny turned around and posed."I know,just kidding thanks and you look cool and casual."

"Thanks."Emma smiled.

"So are we going to meet J.T?"Manny asked.

"Um yeah I think..."Emma said trying to peek around the corner to see if he was there.

"Or maybe he's too busy with Liberty."Manny grumbled.

"What?"Emma asked stopping.

Manny turned back at her."Um what?"

"You grumbled!"Emma teased.

"No I didn't!You are really crazy."Manny defended herself.

"Admit it."Emma said pointing at manny's heart.

"Look,he's with Liberty,Craig and Ash are blah and Spinner is...I don't know ,all I know is that i'm not meant for a boyfriend."Manny sighed.

"Well hello I have an STD and you don't see me all moppy over guys."Emma said.

"I know i'm sorry..I forgot."Manny said with a bit of guilt in her voice.

"It's okay..let's just go to school."Emma said.They were about to cross the street when all of a sudden a car pulled in front of them causing both girls to jump.

"Okay stange car pulling up in front of sixteen year old girls..."Manny said tensly.

"Hold on a sec.."Emma said.She then smiled."It's Liberty's car."

"You like?"Liberty asked.She had a white shirt with marron pants.Her hair was in two pig tail braids.She had a maroon clip.

"Wow it's cool."Emma said.

"Eh it has a dent but it will get us to the beach durring spring break!"Manny excalimed trying to hold in the rest of her excitment.

"Oh,"Liberty said looking at the dent."Well true."

Then the passenger seat door opened.

"Hey girls."J.T said.He had a grey shirt with jean pants that had rips on them.His hair was a darker shade of brown.He had some grey and red vans.He had grown taller over the summer but was still shorter than Craig.

"Wow your hair!"Manny said in disbelife and before she knew it she was in front of him touching it.

Liberty grunted."Um yeah..Manny I know it feels the same."

"Sorry it looks great."Manny said.

"Thanks and no need to apologize,you look hot as always."J.T laughed.

"So you two-"

"Yes Emma we're still together."Liberty said.

Emma rolled her eyes."Well you can park your car we have to walk to the front of the school."

"See ya."Manny said.

Emma and manny then stopped in front of the school as Liberty and J.T got in the car.

"So grade eleven..what drama awaits us this year?"Emma asked.

"A lot."said a voice.

They both turned and saw Darcy and Chantel.

"Oh hi!"

They did their greetings and walked up the stairs.

Paige was walking along with Hazel.Jimmy was rolling on his wheelchair next to Hazel.

"Grade twelve what a year."Paige said looking around at the kids surrounding her.She had an aqua long sleaved shirt with some jeans and a matching aqua belt.Her hair was up in a pony tail and she had little silver earings and some bage shoes.Paige's make up was mascara and lipgloss.

"Our last."Hazel said with a pouty face.She had a pink shirt that said baby phat.She had some matching jeans and some baby phat shoes.Her hair was down and she had lipgloss and light pink eyeshadow.

"Aww Hazel don't be sad."Jimmy said as he looked up at her.He then closed his eyes and Hazel bent down for a kiss.

"I'm not."

"God why won't he answer his phone?"Paige asked.

"Well hello you guys got into a huge fight over the summer."Hazel said.

"Yeah..when you fight you seem to ignore each other."Jimmy laughed.He had his TS5 outfit except it was dark blue.He had his jordans on.

Manny then stepped in front of them.

"Hey guys how was your summer?"Manny asked.

"Um the most horrible in my life!"Paige grumbled."Hate summers."

"Excuse Hazel she's angry because she and her boyfriend got into a fight.Well mine went well we went,me and Jimmy,to thearpy everyday for his legs,and spend every day together almost."Hazel said.

"Yeah and I loved it."Jimmy said.

"Wow that's great I just stood at Emma's like 95 of the time since my parents are always gone now,and we just went shopping and to the beach and I learned how to surf a little..alright I suck."Manny laughed.

Paige seemed to snap out of her world of anger as her expressions changed so quickly it looked fake.

"Um hon,you had the house to yourself and you didn't throw a party?"Paige asked.

"Um well no,I know it was like the thing to do but I wanna stay clear of trouble and loose my reputation as the school tramp."Manny said looking not into Paige's eyes while talking.She knew if she did then she would start to feel stupid.

"Well I guess you are changing well we are holding auditions for fresh new girls this year and congrats Manny you are the captin of the cheer squad next year,well we are gonna be in the aud durring practice so be there."Paige said.She then walked away.

Hazel smiled as she walked by.

"Bye Manny."Jimmy said.

"Bye."

She then was on her way to homeroom.She pulled a small present from her backpack.

Craig angrily walked up the stairs of Degrassi.Then someone tapped his shoulder.

"What!"He yelled,turning around.He then saw Marco.Marco had a confused look on his face.Marco's outfit was an army green long sleaved shirt with a matching hait.He had jeans and some brown shoes.

Craig however had a white and blue top with his pants.His hair was straight but you can tell it wasn't naturally because the tips were getting curled.He had his converse on and his gutiar by his side.

"Sorry Marco it's just this whole thing with Ash and I feel..."  
"Angry?"Marco finished.

"Well yeah but more frustatred.."Craig said as his leaned his back to the lockers looking up towards the ceiling.

"It's cool and well so are you and Ash still together?"Marco asked.

"How am I suppose to know."Craig asked he added a little laugh.

"I don't know because maybe you're the one in the relationship?"Marco asked with a smile.

"Shut up man."Craig said slowly as if he was out of it.

"Dude come on it will get better oh and Happy birthday."Marco said handing him a small package.

"Thanks dude."Craig said.

He got the package and opened and inisde was a gift certifacate to Gutiar World for 50.

"Dude aww man you didn't have to thanks."Craig said sheepishly.

"Well going to homeroom."Marco sighed.

"Oh um yeah i'll be there in a sec just lemme finish getting my stuff ready."Craig said.

"Alright."Marco said.

As Craig opened the locker he heard small footsteps.

"Ash?"Craig asked as he closed the locker but to his dissapointment he saw Manny.

"Oh hey."Craig said cautiously.

"Look I know things aren't good between us but-"

Craig gave her a confused look and was about to speak but Manny continued.

"But as friends Craig..,look it's just I just wanna start off the school year good and no drama and

well I thought I should start off by saying Happy Birthday and to give you this."Manny finished.

"Uh..um..T-thanks..Manny..I want to start the school year off too no drama and well thanks again."Craig said.

"Well the bell rang so I gotaa um.."

"Yeah so um see you later?"Craig asked.

"Yeah."Manny smiled as they walked thier seperate ways.

Then Craig turned."Um manny about what I told you last year-"

"What?You never told me anything."Manny said with a clueless face.

"But I-"Craig was about to explain but he then saw Manny's smile."Nevermind."Craig laughed.

Manny ran to her homeroom and saw J.T and Liberty kissing.

"Um PDA's is sorta kinda of a gross thing remember Liberty code of conduct?"Manny said in a haughty voice.

She then laughed herself the way to her seat next to Emma.

"I can't belive you told her that what was the thing with no drama?"Emma laughed along with Manny.

"What are you talking about?"Manny asked with an obvious grin on her face.

Emma gave her a come-on-tell-me-the-truth-look.

"What I mean she is my friend but she was like that to me so I thought well kinda payback,i'm not gonna seek revenge on her it's just a joke."Manny said truthfully.

Liberty and J.T came running in with Mr.Simpson behind them.

"Um Mr.Simpson I kinda need to go make the ann-"

"Go right ahead."Mr.Simpson said.

"Bye Libby."J.T smiled giving her a kiss on the lips.

Mr.Simpson made a face but then closed the door.

"Alright let's start class."Mr.Simpson said.

He walked in front of the clas and saw the kids.

_My have they all grown..._Mr.Simpson thought.

"Um hello Mr.Simpson um you can daydream later."J.T said.A few people laughed giving J.T his satisfaction.

"Look who's talking?Well alright class um let's focus out attention to your computer screens."

The Degrassi Panthers came on the screen and then it focused on Liberty.

"Good morning all and welcome back to Degrassi,for some their last year-"

Hazel gives Jimmy a sad look and Jimmy smiled at her

"For some theirr first-"

a seventh grade classroom looks nervous

"But we hope that you all have a great first day and we have an announcement from Paige,captin of the cheer squad.Paige?"

Paige then came on to screen.She smiled and then looked directly into the camera

"Hello Degrassi students as you all know me Paige,am Captin like ..Liberty said.Well lucky for you girls out there,there are some spots open but remember you have to try out,we are looking for skills,determination,deication,good looks..,but mostly what I said before!Well I hope you come and try out we would like to see new faces!"Paige smiled.She then waved at the camera and Liberty came back onto the screen.

"Thanks Paige,well there is an announcement for all eleventh and twelve graders there will be a feild trip to California cost about 200,but more info around January,and remember Miss.Kwans class is meeting in the auditorium and all seventh graders please get your classes signed and that's all have a great day Degrassi!"Liberty said.

Manny turned to Emma.

"La la la."Manny groaned.

"What?"Emma asked.

"Now she just wahnts to be the new Ashlee Simpson."J.T said.

"Shut up _James_."Manny grinned.

"Hey hey that's going too far!"J.T said.

"I don't know..so J.T thinking of going camping?"Manny asked.

"Uh yeah I would love to catch a surf."J.T said.

"You Surf!"Emma and Manny asked in unison and shock.

"Um yea..durring ninth grade that's why I was surfer style."J.T said quietly.

"Suprise suprise."Emma said with her eyes wide opened.

Then a girl stepped in.She had blonde brown hair with green eyes.She had lip gloss mascara eye liner eye shadow.Her jeans were skin tight and you could see a tiny thong.Her shirt was brown with the word SEXy on it.She had hoop earing and had gum in her mouth.

"Ya Mr.Simpson?"She asked.

Mr.Simpson's eyes were opened with shock.

"Um um yeah."He said."Well you must be-"

"Marisa,yeah,I came here but on a different track."She said smugly.

"Well class this is Marisa and Marisa this is the class you can have a seat next to Manny Santos;Manny please raise your hand."Mr.Simpson asked.

Manny raised her hand and Marisa just walked over.

All the guys looked at her and she winked and flirted back.

Manny's POV

_Alright she is the new girl.Mostly all the new girls always are either geeky or weird this one is-I mean was like me in ninth grade.She seems okay.Emma is giving her a dirty look and J.T is trying tp keep his eyes off her.She sat next to me and looked around the class._

"So uh your name is Manny?"Marisa asked.

"Yeah."I replied.

"Oh well I think i've heard about you,but you don't look that trampy to me."Marisa said.

_Who does this bit- Girl think she is calling me trampy I mean hello I wasted a year trying no to be the school slut! Wait?Who did she hear this from?_

"Excuse me?"I asked.

"Well I guess you've changed but you still look hot.So are there any cute guys here?"Marisa asked.

"Um yeah."I said being honest._Did she just call me hot?Okay a little weirded out._

"Oh well why don't we hang out,I mean you seem cool enough and your hot so why not?"Marisa said as if she already planned this.Care free._Okay she called me hot again this is getting kinda freaky..._

"Um well sure."I said in kinda of a whisper._Great now I was sounding as if I was a loser._

"Cools.I mean I was looking at girls-not that way-as I was walking here and your the only one that seemed cool so let's hang out at the dot."Marisa said.

"Sure!"I then caught myself answering like a dork."I mean like I guess that sounds good."

The bell rang.

"Well I gotta go love you!"She said at first I was shocked but then she hugged me and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"UM bye."I said in confusion.

She the walked to her next class.

As I began to walk out of homeroom Emma came at me.

"Are you gonna be like her friend or something?"She asked showing hints of anger.

"Um no why and even if I did what would it matter?"I asked facing her.

"I don't know when I look at her I think of the old you,and you said no more drama she has drama written all over her face."Emma said.

"Look i'll be careful and besides you'll always be my best friend."I said hugging her.She sighed anbd hugged back.

"I know it's just.."

"I get it."I finished for her she smiled as we looked at our next classes.

"I have-"We both said unison.

"Drama."I said.

"IWN."Emma said.

We both starred at each other.

"Drama?"she asked.

"IWN?"I asked.

"I told you I wanted to be in Drama like last year except have it as a class I love acting and I was in that movie I think I want to be an actress or a model."I said honestly looking at her for an explanation why she didn't choose drama.

"Well Manny remember what happened last year in Drama!"She raised her voice.That made me flinch."Why on earth would you think I would choose that class again?"

"IWN?"I asked.

"Intouch With Nature,we actaully try to change the ways people look at nature with protests and going on trips,besides I haven't really helped S.I.T.E last year."Emma mumbled with an obvious hint of dissapointement.

"I'm sorry I guess we like different interests."I told her.

"You know whatever,"She sighed."Well we can't spend all our classes together."

"I guess not so i'll see you later."I asked.

"Yeah."Emma said.As we walked our seperate ways I turned back and so did she.I gave her a smile and she gave me one too.

As I walked to drama class I saw Hazel.

"Hazel!"I shouted as I caught up to her.

"Manny hey you have drama!"She asked shocked.

"Um yeah why?"I asked.

"Well like there are only like 3 eleventh graders."She said.

"Why?"I asked.

"Because the yearbook class opened and most people wanted that class or photography class."Hazel said.

I felt stupid,but this is what I wanted.

"So like who else is in this class?"I asked.

"Well it's not really a class the teacher is Mr.Zini who spends most of his time reading so it's just a free period."Hazel said.

"Oh."I mouthed.Great I had really wanted to act.Now i'm stuck in this stupid class,man I shoulda went for yearbook.

"Well Ashley,Paige,Jimmy,Sully,Craig,Marco,Darcy,J.T,Vanessa,Richard,me and you."Hazel replied.

"Like only 12 peeps?Okay that's weird..so um how are Craig and Ashley?"I asked.

"Oh well they haven't seen each other yet.."Hazel said giving me an eye of curiosity.

_Okay I didn't like Craig I really didn't I mean the whole last year thing with Chester and Spin I wasn't ready to date, besides I just got him to be my friend..sorta I mean we talked and that's all I needed I didn't want to be attached to someone,yet I yearned for attention like the way me and Spin were before we got together,yet I did not want to feel like I needed the guy I wanted him to need me.I know I sound selfsih but when it came to guys I just had to face it I was well Boy Crazy.I mean I will never love anyone like the way I love Craig..never...I mean loved._

As i walked into the classroom it was big.I mean big.

"Wow.."I said with my mouth opened.

Right behind her came foot prints and Hazel and Manny turned around.

"Hi Hazel."Ashley smiled. Ashley had a green tank top with a jean jacket.The shirt said Rock n' Roll.Her jeans were ripped a little and her hair was the same as last year.Her make up was eye liner and some eye shadow.

"Hi Ashley."Hazel said.

Okay now I was really feeling uncomfotable.I had apologized in grade 9 and I didn't know if she forgave me or not but last year durring the carwash she got jealous just because me and Craig talked for like a second.Then what she did shocked the hell out of me.

"Hi Manny."She said as though she was forced to but hid it with a smile.

_Woah Woah woah hold the clock.Did Ashley just speak to me without the words,boyfriend theif,slut,whore,or giving me a dirty look so dirty I felt like taking a shower?No,no the only logical explanation was that she was abducted my aliens and then came back to earth_.Then while I had all these thoughts in my head I noticed I was stalling I had to say something quick.

"Hi Ash,"I said with full shock because even Hazel looked at me.Then stupidly i continued,"How was your summer?"

Then I felt so stupid.

She then seem to get tense.

"Me and Craig are not good and I was at London."She said.

"well um sorry."I said unknowing what else to say.

She nodded and walked passed me.

"What was that?"Hazel asked shocked.

"I have no idea."I said couldn't belive what just happened.

We stepped into the room and I was hoping to go towards J.T and Darcy or even Paige when I saw Marco.

"Hey Manny how was your summer?"He asked.

"Pretty good and yours?"I asked.

"Well I got a job at the mall!"Marco said.

I squealed in excitement.

Me and Marco have became really good friends since last year.We talk more have more in common and I sorta replaced the friendship he had with Paige in a way.

"So will you give me discount?"I asked in a childish voice.

"Yes Manny of course."Marco chuckled.

"Alright class settle down!"A teacher same.He was bald and chuuby.His eyes were light brown and his skin was kinda red.

"I am Mr.Zini but you can call me Mr.Z if you desire too."

Darcy whispered to J.T."Why did that sound so pervish?"

J.T laughed.

"Is something funny Mr.uh..York!"He asked looking at his call sheet.

"Yeah,it's kinda funny because I didn't even wanna be in this class just cause I directed the play last year they stuck me in this class."J.T said casually.

"Well sorry to here that well all I ask is that you don't get into any trouble and you'll pass the class as time passes yes we will be forced to put on a play but don't worry about that just do whatever."Mr.Zini said as he sat down at his desk and read his book.

Darcy and J.T then went up to me and Marco.

"This class bites."Darcy griited through her teeth."I wanted to act."

"Me too!"I said in a pout.

"Oh well I guess this class will get boring."Marco said.

I turned and saw Ashley go up to Craig.

"Hey."Ashley said.

"Oh so now you wanna talk to me."Craig said.

"Look i'm sorry okay it's just I needed some space I was always worried about you and-"

"And you didn't have to i'm not a kid Ash I am seventeen I can take care of myself."Craig said.

"I know and i'm sorry."Ashley said.But give me a break I love you!"

Caig turned to her."I love you too but it's just you always over react about everything."Craig said."I mean everything."

"Look just cause I care about you-"

"Ash I can take care of myself I want a girlfriend!"Craig said as he looked into her eyes.

Ashley smiled.

"I want a boyfriend,_my_ boyfriend."Ashley said.

"Well I need a break."Craig said.

Ashley was shocked."What?"

"Yeah,Ash you wear me out."Craig said."I love you it's just.."

Ashley got up."I get it."She snapped walking towards Paige,Hazel,and Jimmy.

Craig sighed.

"Maybe you should..."I looked at Marco.

"Yeah come on."Marco said as he got my hand.

"Wha-"Before I could pro test I was already in front of Craig.I tunred to Darcy and J.T who were looking at me.

Darcy just looked at J.T and they began talking about something.I wish I could've heard what they said.

"So what happened?"Marco asked.

"I kinda made the temporary break up official."Craig said lookng at me as in wondering why I was there.

_I wish I could've told him I didn't wanna be there either but what could I do?_

"Aww sorry man."Marco said.

"Ehh no biggy."Craig said.He then turned to me.

_It was weird when he looked at me I felt like when you are about to perform on stage and the light hits you right in the eyes.Your confused don't know wha you're doing,not sure if your making yourself look like a dumbass,I just felt so weird._

"Oh thanks for uh the present."Craig said showing me his wrist.It was the wrist band I gave him with The Beatles on it.

"Welcome."I smiled.

The rest of the time went by fast because I was just talking to Marco and Craig.Mostly they were talking and I was just there smiling and laughing from time to time.Then the bell rang to my dissapointment.

I ran up to Darcy and J.T.

"Next class?"I asked.

Darcy looked at me and said,"Um I have Math."

"Me too."j.T replied.

"Coolz so do I well let's go."I said to them.

Things were going good so far I mean I had so many friends now and well things seemed to be going so perfect.

What was about to happen would make all that dissapear.I had no idea what I was in for.

"Manny!"I heard a voice calling me.

I turned around and so did Darcy and J.T.

Then I saw Marisa.She waved at me and I waved back.

"Come here!"She laughed.

I turned to J.T and Darcy.

"Uh you know your gonna be late if you go to talk to her."Darcy said.

"Yeah..come on just ignore her."J.T said.

I then saw Marisa waiting for me.If I were to go with J.T and Darcy then I would probebly make an enemy or make a girl a loner which I kinda knew how it felt but if I were to go with Marisa I would just be late to my math class and maybe even get closer to Marisa as friends.

"Um tell the teacher I had to go to the bathroom."I said.

J.T rolled his eyes."Whatever you say."

I smiled."Yeah whatever I say."

I then walked up to Marisa.

"Hey um you know you might be late right?"I told her.

"I know and?"she asked.

_Alright everytime i'm with this girl she makes me feel like a loser dork._

"Well it's the first day.."I said slowly hoping she would get what i',m saying.

"Manny you wanna go to the beach?"She asked just out of the blue.

"But we have school."I said.

"Manny I really thought you were the cool chick but I guess I was wrong."Marisa said.

_Inside I felt like I was sort of an outcast.I was losing a friend which I thought I had.She seemed to get an impression that I was cool and now she thinks i'm a ..loser.I mean it was just one period I would miss and I hate Math,...right?_

"Why go to the beach when we can go to the downtown shopping center?"I said with a grin.

"I like the way you think!"Marisa said.

We then walked out of Degrassi's doors.

We took the bus and made it to downtown within 10-20 minutes.

"So what store...?"She whispered to herself but loud enough so I can hear.

"Um ohh that store has hot shirts."I said pointing to Crystalz.

Her face brightened as we walked in.

"HOw much money do you have I only have like 20."I said looking at my pocket.

"Um it's okay..I go to this store so much I have a discount."She said.

I looked at her with suspiscion.

"UM what kind of a discount?"I asked.

She showed me her hand.

"Five Finger."She grined and then pointed to each one of them."And each one wants an item."

We looked at the store cashier.

It was an old woman who had head phones and was reading a magazine.

I nodded and she smiled.

I waslked towards the back and saw earings.

"Pretty,get 'em."Marisa said as she walked by me.

I knew this was wrong but I felt this rush in me like excitment or when you're about to go down on a roller coaster.

I then got in and put it in my backpack.

Marisa then came and her bag looked chunky.

"So wha'd you got?"She asked.

"UM earings."I replied.

I then saw this cute shirt.

Marisa must've saw what I saw because she got it and stuffed it in my bag.

"Marisa."I whispered.

"What?Oh right," she then got a matching thong."Here you can match."

As we were about to walk out of the store the lady looked at us.

I felt as if she knew and she was about to bust me when Marisa grabbed my arm and we calmy walked out.

"Wasn't that a rush?"She laughed loudly looking up at the sky.

"I didn't know I had the guts to do that!"i said while looking at her.

"Well duh..cause you never did it before,well I guess we better get back to school."Marisa said looking at her watch.

I nodded.

Within a half hour we were back at the school and just ui time for period three.

"Well here's my number."Marisa said.

She grabbed my hand and wrote her number.

"I'll call you."

I walked away when I bumped into Emma.

"Where were you?"Emma asked.

"I was-uh-"

"Actaully I was going to ask the same question."Mr.Armstrong said behind her.

* * *

so wha'd u think pretty long huh well that took me like about three days to do.

Please review the more reviews i get the faster the chapter goes up.

Well i hoped u liked it and remember suggestions are welcommed.

please no flammers why do we need to critize other Degrassi fans we all have

different opinions and we need to respect that

oh and if u review urs promise!

* * *

here's a sneek peek for the next chapter:

**"Were you ditching?"Emma asked.**

**"No I wasn't god stop acting like my mother!"Manny said.**

**Emma then gave me a cold stare.**

**XXX**

**"I mean you have had sex before so what's the problem?"Mairsa asked.**

**"Nothing it's just.."**

**"Come on us sluts need to stick together!"Marisa laughed hugging Manny.**

**XXX**

**Manny was crying tears flooding down her eyes as Marco saw her.**

**He kneeled down next to her and she looked up at him.**

**Her eyes were big.puffy,red,and teary.**

**"What's wrong?"Marco asked.**

**"Marco my parents are#&(**

Thats all you get!Sorry if you want more you'll have to review and wait.

so please review and hope u like!


	2. Yesterday's Feelings

**Hi people thanks for the reviews you gave me.I didn't think I would get any but I guess you guys**

**proved me wrong.Thanks and I appreciate each and everyone.Well this chapter basicly shows**

**how Manny starts to change little by little and you'll see the mistakes she starts to make and how**

**easily and fast you can change if you wanted to.This chapter I hope u think is good is kinda like the turning**

**point which the story gets interesting.So i really hope u guys like.**

**Oh and this chappy will be a little shorter.**

**Well again hope u like and please review!**

Summary:Manny finally got her life back together,friends with Craig even..but when a new girl comes will she

take her back to the life that she just recovered?Or even worse?Ashley comes back from London..and not sure of the relationship

rated:pg-13 for violence,drug use,breif sex,language,situations involving teens

Disclaimer:I do not own Degrassi

warnings:in future chapters there may be a scene not meant for younger audience which i will change the ratings

a/n:even if i dont get that much reviews i will continue to update because I really fell in love with the plot and

i think this teaches us a lesson to always choose the right friends and learn to say no.

* * *

_Like the seasons change so do we._

_'Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.Only through experience of trail and suffering can the soul be strengthened,ambition inspried and success achieved.'-Helen Keller_

_

* * *

_

**Chapter 2:Yesterday's Feelings**

"Where were you?"Emma asked.

"I was-uh-"

"Actaully I was going to ask the same question."Mr.Armstrong said behind her.

NO ONe's POv

Manny looked into their eyes and Emma's eyes opened as she saw that Mr.Armstrong was behind her.

Manny opened her mouth to try and find an explanation.But what?What could she say?

Emma was obviously no use in this situation and time was running out.

"I-I-"

"Yes?"Mr.Armstrong asked looking at her as if he was a lie detector.

"Well you see-"

Manny POV

_Okay okay okay i needed to think of something.God damn,thanks a lot Emma perfect timing for her to act like a mother._

_Alright what's something I can say that he won't ask questions..hmm something for a girl to know..oh..I think I know._

N.O POv

Manny then forced herself to blush.

"UM this is sorta a matter that I don't fell quite comfortable talking to you with."Manny said calmly and cooley.

Emma gave me a suprised look.

Mr.Armstrong gave me the same look.

By this time Emma had turned around and was standing not next to Mr.Armstrong but close enough to him so that she could see his facial expressions.

"Excuse _me _Miss.Santos?"He asked.

"Well you see had had to go the bathroom because I had cramps because of you know what and I went to the nurses office."Manny said in sort of a whisper.

"Oh,OH,um I see well Emma could give the the assignment that I gave out and then you can be on your way to your next class."Mr.Armstong said a little embaressed himself because of the subject.

"Thanks Mr.Armstrong,I guess I have some work to do see you tomorow in class."Manny smiled.

Mr.Armstorng nodded as he began to walk to the teacher's lounge.

Emma then looked at Manny.

"That sucks for you already the first day and you started your monthly."Emma told me as we began waking to M.I.

"Yeah I know urgh oh well."Manny sighed.

She was lying through her teeth and suprisingly had no guilt.

"So where's Darcy,J.T,Chantel,and Liberty?"Manny asked looking around at the crowd that surrounded the two girls.They were like a bee's in a beehive.

It was starting to get packed now that all the media from the last year school shooting was overwith.

"Oh um Darcy and Chantel got ahead start to save seats for us because we want to sit closest to the door because they wanna leave when the bell rings.Liberty and J.T went thier own seperate ways.You know why obviously,"Emma made a face,"and to think I wanted them to get together before yuck.Well I waited for you because well obviously i'm your best friend."

"Oh I see.."Manny paused because an eighth grader was running and almost bumped into the two girls,"oh and thanks for waiting."

Emma smiled,"No problem."

The two girls then walked into M.I where they saw Darcy and Chantel talking to who else Chester.

"Oddly.."Manny said starring at her three friends."I think Chester likes you."

"What!"Emma exclaimed.She then gave Manny a weird look as if she had figured something out.Then changed her look back to shock."Manny talk about yuck,eww,and gross.I mean seriously me and Chester equals no."

"Yeah but remember at your sleepover he talked to you and only you."Manny said while giving Emma a smirk.

"Manny just keep those nasty thoughts."She said looking at Chester."To your self!"

Manny laughed.She then sat down and put her backpack on the floor and turned to her computer.

"Well I guess Darcy had 'em."Manny said looking at the two flirt.

Emma shook her head."Well good for her."

"Soo...how was math class?"Manny asked as she turned on to the computer and typed her password.

"Boring he was just preparing us for tomorow."Emma replied sighing now facing her computer screen.

"What should my password be?"Manny asked looking around for some inspiration.

"How about...-"

"Ohh Latinachick?"Manny asked.

"Ummm..I don't know."Emma said."Mine is gonna be butterfliAngel."

"Cute."Manny said as she smiled at her best friend."I guess mine is BubbliciousBabe."The bell then rang as Mr.Simpson came in.

"Hi class welcome to grade eleven now it's time to really prepare you for life with the knowledge of Media the comercializm and the way of life."Mr.Simpson said,he put his things down and faced his class.Mr.Simpson them clasped his hands together and rubbed them rapidly as if he depended on his hands to keep him warm."I have a lesson for you that I hope you will enjoy."

Emma then whispered to Manny."He's been working on this lesson for a week."

"So do you know what the lesson is?"Manny whispered back.

"No just as clueless as you."Emma whispered back.

"You guys really need to listen."Liberty whispered.

"Um and sometimes you _need_ to mind your own buisness."Manny shot back.

"Excuse me?"Liberty asked.

Emma then nudged at Manny's ribs.

"Nothing."

"Anyways class today's lesson is on comercializm.Now we are going to study on how they change our pint of view on tings.How an ad can change the way you want to dress,what you want to eat,how you want to look,and basically you.It's amazing really,and the money maker of the world and the youth of society."Mr.Simpson smiled.

* * *

"Welcome to try outs i'm Piage and i'm either gonna be your best friend or your worst enemy depends...on how you do well let's get started."Paige said.

manny,Hazel,Darcy,Chantel,and the other girls were on the bletchers wathing thier captin talk to the other girls.

"So Miss.I think im so perfect finally got a reality slap?"Chantel asked Hazel.

"Yeah but she's still a little..eh."Hazel chuckled.

"Wait who's gonna be mascot and it's not gonna be Manny."Darcy said looking at the panther head on the floor.

"It's kinda creppy if you look at it."Hazel said.

"More like hot and sweaty!"Manny laughed.

"Alright five six five six seven eight!"Paige shouted.

The rest of the girls did the routine.

"Manny come over here."Paige called.

Darcy gave Manny a smaile as she stepped down the bleachers and waked next to Paige.

"Yeah?"Manny asked.

"Show them the Degrassi Jump Land."Paige said.She then looked at the rest of the girls as they whispered in confusion."Manuella Santos is one of the best on this team..get used to her,if you make it she will be your captin for next year.Now Manny if you will be so kind."

Manny nodded.She took three steps back and knelled to the floor.She picked her self up and clapped her hands and took a back flip and followed by a cartwheel forwards.She then turned around and did three front flips and landed in her gymnastic pose.

The girls ooohed and awwed as they claped and cheered.

"You see hopefully you'll end up like this by yoour second thrid or maybe even fourth year,now show me that you can make it."Paige said as she looked into every girl's eyes.

"Alright you up here first."Paige called.

A girl stepped forward.

All the cheerleader were on the bleachers as Paige instructed what to do with the girls who were trying out.

"Alright who's seventh?"Paige asked.

"This is soo boring."Manny mumbled.

"Tell me about it."Hazel groaned.

Then Manny heard as "Psst."

She looked down and saw Marisa there.

"Hey."

Manny's eyes opened wide as she looked real quick to make sure that the other girls didn't hear or see.

"Uh..I gotta go well you know."Manny excused herself as she went to where Marisa was.

"Let's ditch this stupid rah rah cheer thing."Marisa said as she reached towards her back pocket for something.

"I can't."Manny said as she gulped a little looking at the auditorium.

Marisa began walking towards the exit and Manny followed.Marisa then opened the exit door and then they were in the hall.

"Why not?"Marisa asked.

"Well we kinda ditched second period."Manny said as she leaned herself against the lockers.

Marisa rolled her eyes and began to look at the ceiling.

"So...this cheerleading you like it?"Marisa asked.

"Yeah..I love it."Manny smiled remembering all the times she had while being in the cheer squad or as Paige called it Spirit Squad.

Marisa mummbled something under her breath,but Manny didn't bother to ask.marisa then took some ciggarettes from her back pocket and got a lighter from her front.Marisa then lit the ciggarette and started to smoke.

Manny wanted to cough but she didn't want to seem like a loser.

"Sorry so rude of me here."Marisa smiled as she offered Manny one.

_Okay half my life they say don't smoke you can get cancer.They say you can and most likely will die.Besides you get bad breathe your teeth turn yellow and your lungs turn black.I mean even my uncle Tomas died of that.Yet it was so tempting.I knew it was going to taste bad and I knew it would just cause damage to me.Nothing good could come out of it but,somehow it seemed to attracting.Like I neded and wanted to have it.I just wanted it.I mean it wasn't like I was goign to get addicted to the little stick right I mean I had my own mind and I was my own person and this was just a little peice of tobacco..I could just smoke once it wasn't like Iouwld like it._

Manny then got it and Marisa lit it for her.Then manny inhailed.

Manny POV

_Oh my god it's worse than I thought.It feels like someone is blocking my wind pipe.I need to cough but if I do Marisa will think i'm a loser.But the thing that's been on my mind lately is why do I want to impress her so much?I mean she is just a person like Emma,J.T,or Craig.Okay can't stand it I need to cough._

I looked stupid but felt better as I coughed.Marisa then raised her eye brow.She starred at me.

"You okay?"She asked me.She then stomped on her ciggarette.

"Um yeah I just thought about something."I lied.

"What?"She asked now curious.She walked towards me and stood in front of me.

"Well,"I started off.I needed to think of something in three seconds."I mean what if Paige came in-"

"Who?"She interupted me.

"The captin of the cheer squ-"

"I get it."She interupted me again.

"Well if she came in then we would get caught."I said smoothly.I was pretty good at lying right off the back.It was a natural talent people could never tell I was nervous unless I made a big scene which was kinda rare.

Marisa starred at me with confusion still."And?..."

"And we don't want to get caught."I said finishing my perfect lie.

"Because..."She asked while twrilling her finger as for me to continue.

It was like it was written to me in a script I just had to read the lines."Well then we would get suspened."

"Ehh.Whateverz."She smiled now leaning against the locker next to me but still facing me.

"Well if we were to get suspended then you know it would take the fun out of ditching."I finished.I wished I could of appauled myself.

"Your right I like the way you think..you know your pretty cool."Marisa told me smiling.

"Yeah well I try."I said in a carefree sarcastic voice while putting my sunglasses on.

She laughed as did I.She then gave me a hug.

"Best friends!"She told me.I was shocked.Was I suppose to tell her the same I mean I had a best friend,Emma,but I didn't want to sound like a bitch and say nothing.I mean I already lied to her so what's another little white lie.

"Yeah best friends."I said hugging her.

* * *

I was running to my last class when I looked at the clock.Great.I was gonna be late.I then decided to make a run for it when I bumped into something hard.

Ow it hurt.Now I was on the floor and all my books were on the floor too.As i felt around for my things I had my eyes closed because my head was throbbing with pain.

"What the hell watch where your going!"I shouted.

"Sorry."The voice said.I opened my eyes and saw Craig on the floor getting up too.

"Oh Craig i'm sorry!"I said sincerly as I got my backpack and stuffed the shirt I had stolen earlier.

"Manny it's okay,i'm sorry,are you okay?"He asked now helping me up.

"Um yeah i'm fine."I lied.The truth was my head hurt like hell.

"Looks like you are gonna get a bruise."Craig said examining my head.

"It' s alright really."I smiled.

"Well I was gonna be late for music."Craig smiled.

"Oh that's your elective?"I asked as he handed me my binder.

"Well I have two one photography and the other music ."Craig replied.

"Oh."I said softly.I then fixed my hair since it got a little messed up from the fall while keeping eye contact with Craig.

"So me and you are cool right as in friends?"I asked hopefully trying to make a cute face so he would say yes.

He then smiled,"Of course we are hey I have an idea i'm going to the park on friday as part of my photography class

and you shoud come."Craig said with a smile.

"Really?Alright."I smiled.This was so cool me and Craig are offically friends!Wow this is one of the best days ever.

I then let out a sigh.He looked at me."What?"

"Well class i'm gonna be late."I said.

"Oh well um ah don't worry about it what's the worst you can get?"Craig laughed.

"Yeah..."I said.Then there was that akward silence."I better..uh you know.."I

"Oh!"He said looking as if I just woke him up form his sleep."Yeah.Uh I gotta go too."

"Bye."

"Bye."He smiled.

I then turned around."Thanks for inviting me!"

He then shot me his million dollar smile."No prob."

No One POV

The final bell rang as Degrassi students ran out of school.

"And when J.T got sent to detention I thought I was gonna burst with laughter!"Emma laughed as she hung on to Manny so she couldn't fall.

"I know!"Manny laughed.

"We so need to go to the mall I haven't been there in ages!"Emma sighed as the two girls walked towards Emma's house.

Manny then looked at her backpack with guilt.For some reason she felt nervous.She stopped as Emma turned.

"Hello we're about to cross the street."Emma said giving Manny a weired look.

"uh..Jack!"She blurted.

"What?"Emma asked while she was looking for the light to change.

Manny then shouted,"You have to baby sit Jack remember."

As soon as the light turned green Emma slapped her head.

"Oh yeah thanks Manny!I almost forgot!Let's go home."Emma said.

The two girls walked down the streets when they saw Craig and Marco walking towards his house.

Marco then tunred around to walk backwards when he saw Manny and Emma.

"Hey Manny!"Marco shouted."Emma!"

Manny smiled."Come' on!"

"Uh no it's okay."Emma said."remember Jack."

"Yeah we're just gonna say hi."Manny pleaded.

"Alright."Emma sighed as Manny dragged her by the arm.

They crossed the street.They didn't have to look it was one of those streeets where you could play baseball and not worry about cars passing by except once in a while.

"Hey Marco,Craig."Manny smiled.

"Hi."Emma greeted.

"Hey so we're gonna play just relax at my place wanna come?"Craig asked.

Manny smiled."Sure,but we need to baby sit Jack."

"Well why don't you guys come over my house?"Emma asked.

"Sure."Craig said.

"Why not."Marco added.

Manny smiled at Emma,"Well we better get baby Jack."

"Yeah."Emma replied.

They parted thier seperate ways as Manny and Emma walked together.

Emma sighed.

"What?"Manny asked.

"Nothing it's just."Emma then closed her mouth.

"Don't do that just say it."Manny replied.

"Well it's just that we're all gonna be at my house."Emma said.

"Well the guys went to go drop thier backpacks off real quick."Manny pointed.

"Yeah but Craig is comming over."Emma said.

"And Marco."Manny said quickly.

They then crossed the street without saying a word.

"Yeah but you never liked Marco."Emma whispered.

"What!Emma!Look remember what I said this morning I don't want any drama and I don't like Craig!"Manny snapped.

Emma starred at her as Manny noticed they were in front of Emma's house.

Manny struggled for words but then starred at Emma too.

"Sorry shouldn't have brought it up."Emma said.

"It's okay and i'm sorry I snapped at you." Manny appologized.

Emma nodded.

"So best friends?"Manny shrugged smiling looking at her best friend.

Emma put her hair behind her hair and let out a little laugh.

"Duh Manny come on let's get rid of my mom before the guys come."Emma panted as her and Manny walked up the stairs to rwach the front door.

"Yeah imagine."Manny chuckled following Emma.

Emma got her keys and unlocked the door.As soon as she did Spike came out.

"Emma,Manny thank god i'm running late so yeah bye sweety love you!"Spike said quickly as she kissed Emma on the cheek.Her hands were full of papers and beauty supplies.She then turned to Manny and gave her a kiss on the cheek too."Bye."

Manny smiled."Sometimes I feel your mom is like my mom."

Emma looked at her."Yeah.."

They walked into the house and headed upstairs towards Emma's room.

"I'm just gonna put my bag down."Manny said.

"Oh um sure."Emma then pointed tpards baby Jack's room."I'll be in there."

Manny then went downstairs and into Emma's room.

She then rapidly got out the stuff she had stolen.

"Gosh.."Manny whisspered to herself.She then remembered when she took it.:

_Marisa must've saw what I saw because she got it and stuffed it in my bag._

_"Marisa."I whispered._

_"What?Oh right," she then got a matching thong."Here you can match."_

_As we were about to walk out of the store the lady looked at us._

_I felt as if she knew and she was about to bust me when Marisa grabbed my arm and we calmy walked out._

Manny snapped out of it.

MANNY POV

"Great now the guilt consumes me."I said to myself.I sat on the bed._The last time I sat on Emma's bed was this morning,that was before I ditched,before I went to the store durring school,before I stole,before I lied,and before I smoked,and before I snapped at Emma._

_Man I so wished I could go to all the befores so I didn't do any of that stupid crap.I then lied down on her bed.What could I do?I mean I was causing all the drama,the thing I hated most.The worst part is the day hasn't ended yet.Only day one and all of this was inside me.Then I slowly sat up and somehow all the guilty thoughts made me kinda grumpy,and I didn't want to really see Marco or Craig today I just didn't feel cheery or myself.Who am I?I didn't know._Then I saw Emma out of the corner of my eye causing me to jump a little.

"Emma!"I then put my hand over my chest to feel my rapid beating heart."You scared me."

"Oh well baby Jack is in the crib and-"She then starred at me,then I realized the clothes!I looked at what she was looking at."What are those?"

"UM clothes Emma."I said stupidly._Great._

"I know Manny i'm not stupid where did they come from?"She asked me now walking towards me.

"My..house."I said quietly.

She was now looking at the shirt and held it up to examine it.Then the thong fell.I blushed as I picked it up.

"Manny..a thong?"She asked."You told me you stopped wearing them."

"Well Emma maybe I ran out of underwear okay you don't need to know everything."I defended myself.

She then saw the earings.But I snatched them.

"Manny you were going to go to your house tonight to pick up some clothes remember you don;t have any here so how did they get here?"Emma asked me strenly.

"Look Emma nevermend how they got here all that matters is that they are here and now that saves us a visit to go to my house."I closed hoping she would shut up.I always got mad when I was going to get caught in a lie.

Now Emma was keeping eye contact with me.

"Yeah it does Matter!Manny you are my best friend and something isn't right!"Emma shouted at me.

"Well Emma sometimes you need to mind your own buisness."I replied now standing up in front of her.

Now it was quiet.

"Marisa?"She said all of a sudden,

Now I was shocked._How in the hell did she know?She doesn't even know her.God all I know is Emma is ging to be a great mom someday when it comes to teen daughters._

"What!"I asked shocked and added a little laugh.

"You heard me."She said coldly.

"Marisa has nothing to do with this."I lied.

"Were you ditching?"Emma asked.

"No I wasn't god stop acting like my mother!"I said.

Emma then gave me a cold stare.

_DING DONG_

Literally saved by the bell.

"Comming!"Emma shouted while keeping eye contact with me.

She then turned and walked upstairs leaving me there alone.

I sighed and decided to go upstairs.

* * *

"HI!"Emma smiled as Craig and Marco came in.

"Hey."Craig said.

"What's up?"Marco greeted as they walked in.

I soon came and greeted them as well.

they stayed for a while we laughed and watched t.v basically.It turned out to be fun I just felt very uncomfortable because Emma acted as if nothing was wrong which kinda freaked me out.

"So i'm going to get drinks."Emma said suddenly.

"Oh i'll go help!"Marco insisted.

"Alright."Emma smiled as they both got up and went into the kitchen.

Me and Craig then just enjoyed that akward silence until I broke it.

"Craig I need to ask you something."I told him.

"Yeah shoot."Craig told me.

"Okay well me and Emma got into a fight before you guys came and-"

"Wait you guys what?"He asked shocked now fully alert.

"Yeah.."

"Was it like a catfight or verbal fight?"He asked.

"Well verbal but not that bad kinda lie an arguement."I replied.

"Over what?"He asked concerned.

"I rather not say."I told him.

"Oh I understand."

"Well what should I do?"I asked him.

"Wel maybe you should appolgize or maybe talk it out."Craig said.

"Ha.I think we did enough talking ."I chuckled.

"Hm.Well look you guys are best friends and I know you guys can make it through."He said with his smile.

I enjoyed his smile.It made me feel like even if the world had ended that I would be okay.As long as he was there I would be okay.I guess this is why I liked him so much.I just wish we could talk more.

"Thanks Craig your great to talk to."I said.

"Your welcome anytime."Craig said.

"I just wanted to let you know that I just want a friendship,really."I said.

"Me too."Craig agreed.

I smiled,"Great."

Then Emma and Marco came in with the drinks.

"Alright here we are."Emma said giving each one of us a drink.

Two hours had past and Emma was feeding Jack.

"Well we better go."Marco said.He got up and yawned.

"Alright."Craig streched as he sat up.

"Well let me walk you out."Manny said.

"Alright let me go say bye to Emma."Craig said.

"Tell her I said bye too!"Marco shouted at Craig.

I stood by the door with Marco when my cell rang I just put it on silent.

It rang again and I realized it was my mom.

"Who's that?"Marco asked curiously.

"No one."I said quickly.

"Come on you can lie to this face."Marco beamed pointing to his face.

I chuckled,"Ha.You're right well it's my mom."_I then felt like something was wrong._

_It's so weird like women have that instinct that something was wrong,that gut feeling,well for some reason I was having it but nothing was out of the ordinary._

_I mean my mom had called the night before.She said things were fine and well,Marco was there,and Emma and Craig were comming down _

_and I knew as a fact that Emma and Craig equals a no no.So why was I having this feeling?Was it guilt at what I did today?I didn't know but I was hoping that it went away fast._

"Well why don't you answer it?"Marco asked me.

_Again I felt stupid it was like all day I felt stupid.Gosh it was anoying the only time I didn't feel stupid was in Kwans when I got all the questions she asked right and then I didn't feel good but more like a nerd._

I then looked at the phone and placed it back into my pant's pocket with caution.

"I'll call her back when you guys leave."I explained.

"Ohh okay."Marco said as if he thought I was hiding something.

Craig then came down and Emma followed with baby Jack in her arms.

"Bye!"We all said to each other and I closed the door.

"Emma..."I began.

She looked at me.

"Emma i'm so sorry.."I continued.

Emma shook her head.

I then thought about the lie I had told her eariler how I started my monthly,perfect excuse.

"Em, i'm PMSing."I blurted.She then opened her mouth in a shape of a little o.

"Oh,um yeah Manny I forgot..well I guess I can forgive you."Emma whispered.

"Really?"I asked amazed.

She nodded."Yeah i'm gonna put Baby Jack back in his crib."

"Alright."I nodded.

As she tip toed towards the living room I went into the kitchen.I took out my phone as I

walked slowly and dialed my mom's number.

I then took a heavy sigh.As I do when I always call my mom she's like when you call her

prepare to tell her every detail about your day.

As the phone was ringing I leaned against the kitchen counter and grabbed an apple.

Just for kicks I rubbed it aginst my shirt as I saw it shine a little bit more than before I rubbed it but what ws the point I was gonna bite it anyway.

Then I took a huge bite.

"Hello?"My mother asked.

_Great this always happens when i'm waiting and doing nothig they answer the phone but when i'm eating she answers.Just like the lights on the street whenever I want to get somewhere the light is red but when I am dreading to get somewhere all lights green._

"Howa Muahman yoush cwalled."I said as i was chewing the apple as fast as I could to swallow it.

"What?Que?Who's this?"My mother asked persistant.

Just in time I swallowed the apple that was in my mouth.

"Uhum,sorry I was eating an apple and you picked up,yeah well forget it,um momma you called?"I asked.I mean I knew she called it's just I don't know why I say that.

"Um,yes,Manuella."My mom said as her voice got shaky.Then I grew nervous this is what my gut feeling must;ve been telling me.

"Mommy?"I asked a little shaky too "What's going on?"

"Manuella I love you a lot you know that."She told me.Soon my stomach began to feel like when you're going on a roller coaster.

"Mom!What's going on?"I asked I was now getting off the counter and standing up.

"Manuella,you see me and your father have been having problems over the last couple of months.."She began.

"What!"I interupted.Okay this was too much they had problems?I nbegan to panic and was now pacing back and forth.

"Yes,and we thought it would work out but.."

"But what mom?"I asked.I started to feel hot and I felt my heart beating faster.

"We couldn't and we got a divorce,Manuella we love you and didnt want you to get hurt!"She cried.

"Mom!No!Mom!"I pleaded I was now on my knees.My eyes were hot and starting to burn.

"Manuella.."

"Now mommy why!"I asked.My world just seemed to be falling down."Why did you do this to me!"

"Manuella it wasn't me it was-"She then hushed up.My emotuons were out of control.The only true love I thought would last forver had just collasped in three minutes.

"It was who?"I asked steady and patient.Myeys were hot but I felt no tears.

"Nevermind-"

"It was who!"I demanded._Why?Why?Why was this happening?_My body was shaking.I just started to curl up in a ball on the floor.

"Your father left us for another woman."She said quietly.

_"Mom?Why?Did?When?"So manhy questions were racing through my mind.Why would my daddy leave me?Why did he abandon me and my mom?Why aren't I crying.I slowly felt my eyes and there were no tears.I then felt calm at ease when the worst news of my life had come._

"Manuella!Are you there?Please speak to me!I'm so sorry."She cried.

I stood quiet.It wasn't real..none of this was happening..it just couldn't be real it wasn't.

"I'm here."I said slowly and quietly."It's not your fault..i'm going to bed,goodnight."

"Manuella I love you and will be there as soon as I can..we just need to get the papers to sign so maybe a week or so depends on.."Her voice trailed.

"I am going to be at Emma's..love you..bye."I said in a hush voice as I hung up my cell.

I didn't even know how I got there but I was sitting up on the floor in the kitchen just starring at the window.

I didn't know how long I was starring I just heard footsteps coming towards me.I slowly looked up and it was Emma.

"Hi.."She said as she kneeled down towards me.

"Hi."I said quietly.

"Are you okay?"She asked looking at me with concern.

"I'm fine just tired."I lied again.This time I didn't care I didn't feel guilty I just wanted to..I didn't know.

"Manny.."She began.

"I'm gonna just go to bed,i'll sleep in the living room tonight."I whispered.

"It's only seven and you can sleep on my bed."Emma insisited.

"No I don't wanna ruin your life too."I said as I got up and walked towards her room to get my things.

"What?"She asked getting up following me.

"I just don't wanna be a life ruiner."I said straight out._I knew the truth I was a life ruiner.Dad probably left because of all the pain I had caused him when he found out that I was pregnant and no longer a virgin.He left because of me._

"Manny you are so not a life ruiner what happened?"She asked me face full of concern.I then stopped at the bottom of the stairs and faced her.

"You don't know me Emma,I am one."I said calmly.She then went down the rest of the stairs as I got my bag on her bed.

"Manny!"Emma shouted.

"What!"I yelled looking at her as my body trembled.

"What happened and don't say it's just PMS cause it's more than that!"Emma said sternly.

"Fine.I'll sleep on the bed."I said as i just ploped on the bed.

Emma then went to the side of her bed and looked at me even though I had my eyes closed I could feel her there watching me and when I opened my eyes sure enough she was there watching me.

"You didn't answer the question."She said.Her voice sounded so sincere.Like the way a best friend should sound.She was doing her part as my best friend I just wasn't doing mine.I said no drama and look it's seven ten and already it feels like a year.

"Emma i'm really tired and I-"

"Emma we're home!"Mr.Simpson yelled from upstairs."I brought chinese Manny if your there."

"Alright and she is."Emma yelled back.

I sat up and she looked at me.

"Manny I won't force you to tell me but let's just foget this and go get some food."She said with some hope inher voice.

My head was full of things and itstarted to hurt bad.I think I just needed to sit down and eat maybe that would make me feel better it always does.

"Alright."I agreed looking at her.She smiled at her and for some reason I couldn't smile.It just didn't come to me I just looked at her and followed her upstairs.

The rest of the night went as usual we ate amd Spike got some video's and we watched one well I watched one before taking a shower.I watched the movie SAW I loved it.It teaches you to really appreciate life and right now I felt a little better about the whole situation.A little but as the warm water hit my cold and tense body I felt a little relaxed.Just the thought of my dad with another woman made me wanna cry.I wanted to but I couldn't I really couldn't and that scared me.I put some underwear and a tank top on and headed towards Emma's room.She was putting her sleeping bag on the floor with some pillows.

"Did the shower go well:"She asked while fluffing one of her pillows.

"Yeah it made me more relaxed."I said to her truthfully.

"That's good i'm glad."She said to me.I then went and sat down indian style whle Emma sat next to me.

"What a day."She told me.

"You have no idea."I told her.Really she had no idea what was ging on.I really wanted to tell her but I just couldn't.

"Well tomorow will get better."She said to me.I then looked up and leaned my back against her bed.She did the same.

"Ouch it kinda hurts."I said as the rails were touching my spine hard.

"Yeah hold on,"She said as she reached for a pillow and put it behind us."There."

"Perfect."I closed my eyes relaxing.

"Or close enough."She said."Nothig is perfect."

_Especially me._

"Yeah I know."

I then don't know how but as soon as I opened my eyes the room was dark.Emma was asleep where she was when I last saw her but my head was on her shoulder.I then turned my head,it hurt to but I didn't care,to see the alarm and it was exactly 1:23 am.My eyes soon felt heavy.I was tired too.Then I placed my head back on Emma's shoulder.Then all of a sudden Emma whispered to me.

"Goodnight."I had no idea she was awake.

"Night."I replied.

"You mean good morning."She whsipered/laughed.

"Yeah,right,"I whispered smiling."I hope it is too."

Then all I remember is tha things were blurry.Soon I was asleep.

* * *

**So did ya like?I really hope you did and I hope all of you that reviewed last time will review this time.and i get new reviews**

**and no flammers.**

**sorry it was so long it's just you know when you write and I am proud of what I wrote.**

**Well so sorry that the last two sneek peeks didn;t get it i swear they will next chapter it's just it would've been too long.**

**oh and if ur a littlw interested trust me ur gonna like the next chapter.well at least i hope u do!Well please stay with me!**

**oh and here's another sneek peek that will also be in the next chapter.:**

He kissed me.It seemed that all my problems went away in that one kiss.In I way I felt as if this was my

drug when you feel down and take it.Was this feeling wrong?I had no idea but at this time I didn't care.

I opened my mouth to speak but he put his tongue in my mouth.I knew after this he wouldn't give a rat's ass

about me and I knew I would never speak to him again but it seemed alright to me.

"Are you guys back together?"I asked.

"Well no we're working on it."Craig told me as he sighed.

My hands were shaking and were fidgeting.

"Do you mind?"I asked him reaching for my pocket.

"Um mind what but whatever it is I guess not."He said in confusion.

I then took out my pack of cigarettes and lit one.

I inhailed and then let it out.When I opened my eyes his eyes were full of shock.

"Manny what the hell!"

"I'm not hungry."I spat.

"Are you alright?"Spike asked me.

"Spike i'm fine!"I almost yelled as I went towards the door.The anger inside of me needed to come out.I was boiling

I felt my body hot then I started to feel dizzy.I stumbled as I opened the door.

**Well what do ya think?Sounds interesting?Also decide who Manny should be with cause I need some romance..**

A.)J.T

B.)Craig

C.)other

D.) ..dunno..whatever has the highest vote

Well choose!and please review!


	3. Take It Away

**I love ya guys and shall I say again I love ya guys!Thax for all ur reviews they mean so much to me!**

**Well you still have this chapter to vote for who u want Manny to be with!So please review**

**really they make make me happy so happy I will each give you a brownie!**

**Here's one for you and one for you and don't worry there's one for you,not hungry well**

**i'll wrap it up for ya!Alrighty then let's move on.This chapter is when she had finally started**

**to get out of hand.That state where she doesn't seem to care.This is where anything goes**

**so I hope u like this.She stills tries to hide her bad deeds so she's**

**not all that wild but prepare for the next chappy for that.**

**also the next four chapters will include,cutting,rape,depression,and emotional breakdowns..just another day at degrassi**

Summary:Manny finally got her life back together,friends with Craig even..but when a new girl comes will she

take her back to the life that she just recovered?Or even worse?Ashley comes back from London..and not sure of the relationship

rated:pg-13 for violence,drug use,breif sex,language,situations involving teens

Disclaimer:I do not own Degrassi

warnings:in future chapters there may be a scene not meant for younger audience which i will change the ratings

a/n:even if i dont get that much reviews i will continue to update because I really fell in love with the plot and

i think this teaches us a lesson to always choose the right friends and learn to say no.

ALSO! I think that this is a pretty good title for this chapter.Because of the lyrics

don't ya think well let me know.But if you don't know the song of the band who sings it let me

give it ta ya so u can read the lyrics and c if ya agree with me.

Take it away-The Used

Anywayz without further adue please review!Please please review!

* * *

_They say it's not that hard being a teenager,wait till your an adult,well they're wrong,dead _

_wrong-CCD_

_Now adays it's way harder to be a teeanger than ever.Drugs being offered everywhere._

_Well we are gonna try it obviously we are gonna make mistakes sometimes regret them sometimes_

_we won'tNow more than ever teenager girls are getting pregnant,cutting,being bullied,anorex,comiting suicide,_

_getting drunk and high.We can't avoid it.It's what's going on now and nobody can stop it.It's just the way things_

_are.The same with guys getting wasted,high,getting girls pregnant,running away from home,living on the streets,and _

_much more..._

_This is the life of teenagers..._

_What can we do?_

_

* * *

_

Chapter 3:**Take it away**

I woke up early.I was on the sleeping bag with my feet on top of Emma's knee's.She was on the floor with her head on a pillow.

I felt so drained.I got up and got the shirt I had stolen yesterday.It was cute yet sexy I loved it.

It was a pink halter with rips on the side and on the front.It was short so you could see my belly button.

I put it on and got some tight jeans.I looked in the mirror you couldn't see the thong I had on so that was good.

My hair was vany so I just put it in a bun with a few strands hanging over my eyes.I applied my make up and might I say I thought I looked hot but not sluty.

Then I got my chunky sandals and hoop earings.When I got out of the bathroom Emma was already dressed.Now her outfit seemed plain compared to mine and I sorta liked that.All she had was a jean skirt with a yellow tank top.Her hair was in a pony tail and she had cute gold earings on.Her shoes were white DC's.

"Nice outfit."I said with a whatever tone.

She looked at me with suspiscion.Okay maybe I did sound fake.So I tried to hide it.

"What you can't take a compliment?"I laughed as I handed her her backpack.

"Yeah thanks Manny your outfit..is cute."She said as she saw my halter.

I knew she wanted to say something and I smirked.

"Well let's go to school!"I chirped as I got my bag.

"Well aren't we gonna go get some breakfeast?"She asked me as she got her bag.

"Oh sure."I smiled.

* * *

"Pancakes Pile!"Spike announced as she brought one big plate full of pancakes and smothered in suryup.

"Mom you make the best!"Emma said as she licked her lips.

"Spike you're so great!Emma can I borrow your mom?"I asked with a laugh.

Spike smiled."Aww thank you Manny,so when is your parents comming back into town?"

My stomach then took a turn.It was like a wave of depression crashed all over my body.I had almost forgot what happened.I couldn't speak but I slowly rubbed it off.No I couldn't.Now when I didn't want to cry I felt like it.The feeling was so horrible.But I had to look like nothing was wrong.

I smiled and looked at Spike while putting a strand of hair behind my ear."Um I don't know.."

"Oh."She said cheerfully as she was washing the pans she used to make her Pankcake Pile.

Then I felt guilty I was causing everyone misery.I was causing my parents to split,I was causing Emma discomfort in our friendship,and now I was making Spike care for me when she didn't have to!I really wanted to cry but my heart hurt.I think I was having an anxiety attack but it didn't hurt as bad.I then got up quickly whiched caused Emma and Spike to jump a little,I guess I startled them.

"Miss.Nelson i'm sorry I shouldn't be here I don't wanna bother you anymore i'm gonna stay home,thank you for breakfeast i'll see you next time."I said while I pushed the chair in and put my empty plate in the cabnet.I was about to walk out the door when I heard

"Manny!"

I didn't really care I just ran out of there.I crossed the street and passed the other houses I just ran half the time I wondered why I hadn't bumped into anyone or anything.I don't remember crying but I remembering breathing harder than I should even if I didn't have to but it was weird.It was like I could stop but if I did something bad would happen,but it was all in my head.

I finally stopped because a boy with green hair almost hit me on his bike.Then I bearly noticed my surroundings.It was a short cut I took to school when I was late.The ally behind the construction siteIt wasn't that bad of an ally it just had two trash cans the floor always seemed to be wet in the middle yet the sides dry as a dessert.The walls were full of taggings but not all ghetto to me they looked cool.It also had a green couch but the couch was quite comfy.Before in seventh grade I passed by once and saw a couple making out on it.As i walked more into the ally I saw someone on it.I approached with caution unsure what was going on but as I stepped closer I saw only one person and it was a girl it was...Marissa?

I walked closer just to make sure and I was right in front of the couch when I saw her sit up.

Yep it was Marisa alright.I saw her blonde brown hair with green eyes.But there was something wrong with her eyes they were kinda red and sahe had shadows under them.She then looked at me.

"Manny Hey!"Marisa greeted with a smile as she got oof the couch and hugged me.I huggged her back.

"Hi Marissa."I smiled.

"So it's kinda early what are you doing here?"She asked eyeing my outfit.She had some pants but scunched up and tied my rubber bands.Her shirt was tight and was high like my _Most Beautiful girl in the world _shirt.Then I looked and saw her belly button it was pierced.

"What see somethig you like?"She griined.I knew she was joking so i laughed.

"Oh yes."I said sarcastically.

"Also this."She told me.Marissa opened her mouth and I saw her tounge.

"Looks pretty ouch."I said looking at it.

"Nah not really."Marisa smiled as I sat down next to her.I made myself comfortable.

_For some reason when I was around Marisa I felt dangerous like I was bad.Like a rebel but I craved that feeling._

"Geez if you could get that for free I would do it."I laughed.There was no way in hell I could aford to do it and Marisa couldn't either.

"Alright after school."Marisa said straight out.

"Huh?"I asked just to make sure I heard right.

"Yeah we'll do it then because I think I can convince,"When she said the word convince she flased a devilish smile,"Big Daddy to do it."

"You think?"I asked now nervous.

I could picture myslef dying of pain or that it would never stop bleeding or my tounge come off or-then Marisa shut my thoughts off.

"Yeah totally this is gonna be so much fun!"She giggled.

She were almost out of the ally when I decided to ask her something.

"So what were you doing in the ally so early?"I asked curious.

"Oh,"She smiled."Couldn't sleep."

"I see why not?'I asked as I nudged her ribs.

"Hey!"She laughed.As soon as she stopped she made a huge grin.She then coughed and it sounded like"Tweeken"

"What?"I asked confused.

"Tweeked you know Crystal."She smiled.

_Oh my god she does drugs too what doesn't she do?_

She then took out her pack of ciggarettes.

"Here."She offered.

_To be honest my first experience was awful yet I wanted to try it again_.

"Thanks."I repiled.

We stopped just before the end of the ally and she lit it for me.

"I dedicate this one to my new best friend Manny Santos!"She yelled.

Then she started laughing.

"Thank you thank you I wanted to thank Marisa oh and my mom and dad for being out fo town so much and-"

Marisa grinned.

"What woah woah stop pause rewind and play.Your parents are out..of town."She said slowly.

"Yeah.And?"I was used to this so it wasn't like oh my god or something.

"Manny how would you like to meet my friends tonight?"She asked.She took out her cell and stared texting.

"I guess."I told her.

"Alright I just told Jordan and he'll tell everyone."She said.

"Okay."I agreed.

This time smoking wasn't too bad I mean I actually could hold in my cough and soon enough I didn't have to cough.

"I can do frenchy's style."She told me.She did it and I applauded.

"Thank you very much!"She bowed.

As soon as we were done we walked out of the ally.

"Here."Marisa said handing me the pack.

"What's this for?"I asked.

"To wear dumbass,gosh I know your gonna want one later might as well give you your first pack."Marisa smiled.

"Oh thanks."I said as I put in in my backpack.

She then looked at me and smiled.

"I like your body wish I had it."She said.

That really freaked me out all I could think of was."Thanks."

"I'm not a lesbo i've like done it with other guys it's just I am being honest."Marisa explained.

"Oh okay.."I said not really caring.

_Then the thoughts the way I left Emma and Spike now they really must hate me.Marisa I guess could tell something was on my mind,probably because I was quiet for like a minute.You think not that long but trust me it's long when your walking alone with a friend_.

"What's wrong?"She asked me.

"Well I sorta told off Spike and Emma and now they hate me."I explained.It wasn't the whole truth but in my eyes it was.

"Well stay at your place and i'll stay with ya!"She smiled hugging me.

Hey that didn't sound like a bad idea.

"Alright."I laughed.

We crossed the street and we were in front of Degrassi.She looked as if she was looking for someone.I then saw Liberty's car getting parked and her and J.T walking out towards me.

"Oh there's J.T!and Liberty."I said as I tapped Marisa on the shoulder.

"Ohh J.T looks cute hey who's the walking crap on a stick next to him?"Marisa asked.

I then laughed.I'm sorry I couldn't help it Liberty was just annoying to me now.If she were to tell me go to hell I wouldn't care well maybe for like a day but after that nope.

"True,I think he feels sorry for her besides J.T is my ex."I told her.

"What I thought she was going out with Chris?"She asked me.

"Yeah before that's Emma's ex."I explained.

"Man what a leftover girl."She mumbled as they walked closer to us.

"Your right."I said in shock.Urgh now I hated her even more!She was a leftover girl i'm suprised she didn;t go after Craig urgh!

_Now no more Miss.Nice Santos!_

then they were in front of us.

"Hi Manny..and Marisa right?"J.T asked.

"Yeah."Marisa smiled.

Liberty rolled her eyes.Marisa saw and looked pist.

"So um you ar the leftover girl right?"She asked calmly like it was just any question.

I couldn't helped it.You know the laugh where your holding it in and it looks like you spit something out but there's nothing there so it makes a weird noise.

That's how I laughed.

"Haaa!"

Liberty then looked pist also and walked away.

"Marisa what the fuck?"J.T asked.

"She is."

Then J.T looked at me."That was kinda low."

"And?It's the truth she picked up Emma'a and my leftovers and she's supposibly our friend?"I defended myself.

"Great so i'm a leftover..."J.T said disguested as he walked away.

"No wait J.T!"I called out.

"Eh whatevers."Marisa said.

Great first Emma,then Liberty I don't care but..,now J.T all my old friends are gone.

"Hey look there's Jordan!"Marisa smiled as she grabbed my hand.She pushed whoever was in our way out.For some reason they didn't do anything about it.

We went up to four guys.One I guess was Jordan,had baggy low pants his boxers obviously showed.He had an extra extra large shirt that was blue.He had a baseball cap on backwards and a dogtag around his neck.

"Wassup Marisa,hey who's dat fine gurl over there?"He asked.Marisa socked his arm and then he looked at me.

"Wait are ya that Manny Santos gurl?"He asked me.

"Yeah."I replied.I was so embaressed what was I supoose to say.

"Hey my namez Jordan and dis is Giovani.-"

Giovani was certainly hot.Out of all of them he was the hottest one there.His hair was so gelled it looked wet.His hair was dark and kinda curlish.His eyes were green and he had a black shirt with matching wrist bands and Jordan's.His pant's were the same as Jordan's and he had a stud.

Marisa smiled at me she noticed that I thought he was hot.

"Den thur is Carlos-"

Carlos as kinda hot he was bald and had a grey shirt same pants as the guys I didn't really look at him.

"Also Mark."

Mark had a big sweatshirt with some baggy pants.He was alright it's just he was blonde.

"Hi."I smiled.

I flashed my long eye lashes at Giovani.He saw that and gave me a smirk.

The bell then rang.

All the students seemed to swarm into school.

Marisa the cocked her eyeborw since I was about to leave but then stopped.

"Um Hey Jordan,Carlos,Mark walk me to class."Marisa said leaving me and Giovani alone.

The other guys must've known too because they didn't argue.

They just laughed and Marisa turned and winked.

"Stupid Marisa."I laughed.

"Yeah..so manny right?"He asked sheepishly.

"Yeah."I smiled trying to flirt.

"So uh durring lunch do ya wanna you know um meet me somewhere?"Giovani asked.

Man he was straight forward and it was a turn on for me.I was tired of making the first move.He wanted me and that made me happy inside.

I knew if I said yes it was just gonna be a fling but I was so stressed I just wanted attention.

"Um alright.."I blushed looking at him.

Hardly anyone was around and if they were they were running to get inside.

So Giovani went up to be and got my waist.

I giggled."Hey what are you doing?"

He then put me against the wall.I smiled and looked up at him.His hands then lowered down my legs..suddenly my breathing started to become heavy.

Then his hands were going behind my legs and traveling up.He grabbed my ass which made me giggle.He smiled too and his hands went to the front of my legs and went up.Soon his hands reached where my halter started and his hands went under.Now I was feeling uncomfortable..They were getting closer his lips went close to my lips when-

"Hey!"a voice yelled.

Giovani stopped and got off me-good.For a moment I was a little freaked but got over it.

As soon as he got off me I saw Craig.

"Bye."I whispered to Giovani.

I rushed up to Craig.

"Hi."I smiled.

He then looked at me with disgust.

"What?"

"What the hell were you doing with Giovani?"Craig raised his voice."All he wants is to touch you."

"Craig drop it."I snapped.

"Look i'm just concerned-"

"Don't be look I appreciate you and trying to you know help me but forget it."I told him.

He looked at me and nodded.

"Craig I just am going through a bad time and I just need someone to talk to."I explained to him.

"Talk to me."Craig said.

"Craig you don't want to hear this."I laughed.

"Yeah actually I do."Craig insisted.

I actually felt a little grumpy as he ws talking to me.

"Later I promise okay.At lunch."Manny smiled facing him.

"Manny I..-"

"Craig!"Ashley called.

Craig turned and smiled,"Hey Ash."

Ashley walked up to them,"Hi Craig,Manny um better get to class."Ashley then looked at manny's outfit and shook her head.

_Oh hell no she did not just dawg me Marisa told me to never let a person dawg you and get away with it._

Manny then gave her a look and said,"What?"

"Nothing it's just-"

"Then why did you give me a dirty look?"manny asked now folding her arms.

Craig then looked at the two girls."Ladies come on maybe.."

"I didn't give you a dirty look."Ashley defended herself.

"I think you did you saw my outfit look you dress how you want to and i'll dress how I want to."Manny snapped.

At the moment Ashley and Manny were no longer cool with each other.Craig could feel it as he stood inbetween them.

"If it means dressing like a tramp then so be it."Ashley said cooley.

"Fine,beats acting like a bitch."Manny shot back.

Ashley's fists tightened when Craig stepped inbetween them.

"Ash!Don't you need to go to Art?"Craig asked.

"Yeah..well I better go I don't wanna catch whore."Ashley shot.

"Ash.."Craig warned her as in to stop.

Manny kept eye contact with her.

"Oh don't worry you caught that a long time ago,well bye Craig gotta get to class."Manny smiled sweetly waved and walked away.

"That girl is gonna get into trouble one day."Ashley mummbled.

"Ash come on leave her."Craig said annoyed.

"You sound like you like her."Ashley said pist.

"I don't Ash,really."Craig insisted.

"So about our break up?"Ashley asked now looking at him.

Craig looked around and suffled his feet.

"Ash,not now class is gonna start."Craig said as he turned to walk up the stairs.

Ashley sighed as she leaned aginst the locker.

* * *

Later...

Manny was walking to Mr.Simpson's class.So far she had avoided Emma all day.When they sat next to each other Manny got into the lesson.As soon as the bell rang she would run.Aparently it was hard to avoid Emma but she just needed a few more classed besides she was looking forward to Drama when she got called out aparently they had thought someone broke into ther locker when she showed them her locker they belived her byu then the bell had rang and she was on her way to Simpons.

She then heard running footsteps behind her.Manny tunred around and saw Emma running towards her.

Mnny tired to run but Emma was in front of her.Manny gre nervous and tried to change the subject.

"So did you get what Mr.Armstrong was teaching I swear I think My B+ might lower to a b- or C+."Manny said as if nothing had happened.

"Manny what the hell is going on?"Emma yelled.

"Hush what do you mean?"Manny asked as she continued walking.

"The way you walked out like that."Emma said in disbelife of her friend.

"I was just saying the truth Emma!"manny said.

"Manny we love you why on earth would you think that?"Emma asked.

"Because I don't know."manny whispered.

"Manny just please snap out of it."Emma pleaded with her best friend.

"I don't ..Emma I just need some time alone."Manny said while looking down.Manny's eyes were burnign with tears.She really wanted to tell Emma about her parenst but if she did what could she do.Besides she didn't want Emma to worry.manny then lifted her head.

"Emma i'm fine it's just this is a wacky rag."Manny lied.

"Either that or something's wrong."Emma suggested.

"Everything is,"Manny then took a breath."Fine."

Emma looked at Manny."You sure?"

Manny nodded her head as she looked at the clock."I'm sure."The bell rang.

"We're gonna be late,"Emma said.

"Yeah I need to go to the bathroom to you know."Manny lied.

"I'll let Mr.Simpson know."Emma smiled as she jogged to her next class.Manny smiled and as soon as Emma was out of sight her smile faded to a worried one.She ran to the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror.

Just the the toilet flushed and Marisa came out.

"Hey chicka."Marisa greeted.

"Hi."Manny said.

"So I heard you and Gio were hitting it off."Marisa said.

"Well I think he wants just to have sex with me."manny told her.

Marisa then laughed."I know."

Manny then gave a suprising face.

"What!You knew why didn't ya tell me?"manny asked outraged.

"Why would you care?"Marisa asked.

"Well cause I do!"Manny exclaimed.

"I mean you have had sex before so what's the problem?"Mairsa asked.

"Nothing it's just.."

"Come on us sluts need to stick together!"Marisa laughed hugging Manny.

Manny smiled uneasy while looking at Marisa and her in the mirror.

"Marisa I kinda don't wanna do it."Manny admitted.

"Try telling that to Gio."Marisa laughed as she walked out of the bathroom stall.

"See ya love ya."

Manny then waved goodbye as she stared at her reflection.

* * *

The Lunch bell rang and people were going to lunch to eat.

Craig and Marco were walking together.

"And then she fell on the jello!"Marco cracked.

Craig started laughing.

"Hey Marco I need to ask you a question."

"Shoot."Marco replied as they were in line to get some food.

"Well is there something wrong with Manny I mean you guys talk."Craig said.

"Well yeah but lately she's been talking to this one chick."marco replied.

"Who?"Craig asked.

"I don't know some girl."Marco replied.

"Anything else?"Craig asked just one last time.

"Oh her parents are always out of town thats about it nothing that serious."Marco said.

"Oh it's just I don't know I mean I don't like her liker her i'm more concerned friend."Craig explained himself.

"I get it well just ask her."Marco implied as her paide Shela the money.

"Alright."Craig smiled.

Then Hazel came running up to them.She almost slipped but caught her balance.

"Guys great news!"Hazle chirped.

"What?"The guys asked in unison.

* * *

Manny was walking to lunch lonely since Emma stayed after class to help Mr,Simpson.Liberty and J.T weren't talking to her and Darcy and Chantel walked with Chester.Manny stared at the hallway as she walked slowly.She had thought abuot all the mistakes she had made since yesterday.

Manny then took a heavy breath.

"Maybe I should stop hanging with Marisa."She said to herself as she tried to maintain all the thoughts in her head from over loading.

Manny then thought about the situation about her dad.

"What can't I cry over that bastard?"Manny asked herself.

She then remembered Giovani.

"He's nice and all but not my type he's too touchy like Craig said."

_I let him touch me my god I am a tramp.I'm nothing but a worthless stupid whore._

She then thought she saw J.t and was about to speak when someone grabbed her arm and pulled her into an empty classroom.

"What the-?"She then realized who it was."Oh Gio hey you scarred me."manny said as she felt her heart racing.He smiled.

"Yea remember our date thang?"Giovani grinned.Giovani then took a step closer to her.Manny wanted to aviod eye contact so she looked around.

The classroom was a health class.It was dark and Manny knew that Gio wanted to kiss her.

"so Manny..."Gio asked as her picked her up and put her on the desk.

Manny giggled as she felt his face get close to hers."Oh my god aren't I heavy?

"Nope."He whispered in her hair that made her shiver."Ya just right."

Manny Pov

He kissed me.It seemed that all my problems went away in that one kiss.In I way I felt as if this was my

drug when you feel down and take it.Was this feeling wrong?I had no idea but at this time I didn't care.

I opened my mouth to speak but he put his tongue in my mouth.I knew after this he wouldn't give a rat's ass

about me and I knew I would never speak to him again but it seemed alright to me.

his hands began to rub my back he then bgean to run his hands on my legs.For some reason I felt something was wrong.Maybe it was women instinct but I couldn't tell.my breathing grew heavy as his hands began to touch me I wanted to say stop but for some reson didn't.I then gathered all my strengh.

"Um Gi-"Before I could say anything else he leaned me back aganst the desk and was on top of me.I did not want this!

I knew that he had to get off.I felt so uncomfortable.I felt his body against mine as he started to get a little rough.

I tried to push him off me when he grabbed my hand and slammed it down.It hurt like hell and I could feel my hands throbbing.

"Gio get off!"I yelled.I tried to screm and do something to get him off.He then got his other hand and put it over my mouth.

My eyes were filling with tears.What if he was going to rape me?He was going to rape me.

_Why was this happening?This is just gonna make my life worst?I can't belive this is gonna happen._

He then unzipped my pants and pulled them down.Then he pulled my thongs down by this time my eyes were tearing and I tried to bite his hand but couldn't.My body was shaking.I felt so scarred I couldn't belive this.He then tried to unzip his pants to the zipper got stuck.At the moment he looked to see what went wrong I pushed him off so hard he fell back.

"What the fuck whore?"he yelled.I wasted no time I pulled up my thong and pants and got off the desk.

He then got up and grabbed my foot which made me fall hard.I felt as if someone slapped a chair on my head and mouth.I felt my lip and felt something wet comming out.I turned around and with my other leg kicked his face as hard as I could.He flinched but dragged me down.

"Shut up slut!"He yelled.

"HELP SOMEBODY HELP!"I screamed.

"Shut up!"He yelled at me.

"SOME-"

I guess he knew if he didn't let go he was going to get caught.He then let go of my leg and I got up and ran out.

I ran to the girls bathroom where I talked to Marisa two hours ago.

I looked like shit I felt like shit I was shit.

My mascarra was all over my face,My hair was jacked up my clothes looked jacked up.I fixed my pants and my hair as much as possible.What I couldn't fix is my busted lip and my head was hurting like hell from when I fell.

All my emotions were going haywire.I felt like crying,I felt like hitting myself.

I ran out of the bathroom and dropped to the floor.

I then leaned myself against the lockers.

_What in the hell was wrong with me?Why didn't I cry with my dad?Why didn't I cry when I was nearly raped?Why couldn't I cry?_

My hands then started shaking.I grabbed my ahir and messed it up.I pounded my fist against the lockers.

_I am a slut he called me that.That means it was all true my thought are all true I felt helpless.I ran my hands through my tangled up hair._

_I am a worthless whore._

* * *

_N.O POV_

"-and then they told me that there might be some cure and I might walk again!"Jimmy exclaimed.

"What?"Marco asked in disbelife.

"Man that's great you see I told you thinks were going to be okay!"Craig smiled as he hugged Jimmy.

"Yeah it's in America so I have to go there for a couple of weeks."Jimmy said a little upset.

"Really?Well you'll be back right?"Paige asked.

"Of course he will right?"Hazel asked.

"For sure!"Jimmy smiled."I'm leaving tomorow night."

"Well then we shoudl have a party tomorow night right?"Marco suggested.

"I'll bring the beer!"Alex chirped.She had a huge grin on her face.She had never been this excited about somethng before.

"That's the spirit."Marco smiled as he gave her a hug.

Alex then was gonna give Jimmy a hug when she spilled soda all over her back pants.

"Ahh!Eww!crap!"Alex shouted.

"Oh wait right here while I go get you some towels!"Marco yelled as he ran from the cafeteria.

As he was running in the hall he heard a whimper.

"What the?"he asked himslef as he followed the noise he relazed it was crying.

As he got closer he saw a girl aginst the lockers.Then he realized it was Manny.

Manny was crying tears flooding down her eyes as Marco saw her.

He kneeled down next to her and she looked up at him.

Her eyes were big.puffy,red,and teary.

"What's wrong?"Marco asked.

_She couldn't tell him that she was nearly raped.What would he think of her?Probably like a whore or something.She didn't want to get yelled at again,but she had to let something out.She had to tell him something.So she told him the only thing she could tell him that has been eating her heart._

"Marco my parents are divorced my dad left us for another woman!"

"Ohh manny i'm so sorry."Marco said as he hugged her.

She then remembered the incident with Giovani so she went back.Marco cocked his eye brow at this but shrugged it off.

Manny then leaned on him and cried on his shoulder.

"I'm such a bad person!"Manny cried."My dad left because of me i'm such a bad daughter!"

"Listen to me Manny!Listen,as I started to become your friend I realized that you are really a good person inside there is still that sweet person inside and you show it!It's not your fault Manny it's not!"Marco said as his hands were on the shoulder.He was looking stright into her eyes and she smiled.

"Thanks marco."Manny smiled as she hugged him.

"No problem."Marco said as he rubbed her back.

_She remembered when Gio rubbed her back._

"Don't!"Manny shouted.

"What?"Marco asked shocked.Manny then put strand of hair behind her ear.

"Sorry just thanks marco I gotta go."manny said as she got up.

"Is something else bothering you?"Marco asked.

Manny looked at him and bit her lip,"No."

He knew there was something wrong but decided not to push it.

"Wait manny is it true your having a party atonight?"Marco asked.

Manny looked at him and fixed her hair."Does the whole school know?"She asked.

"Yeah."Marco replied.

"Well then I guess it's true."Manny smiled as she walked away.

* * *

There was only fifteen minutes left of lunch so she walked outside to find Darcy when Craig came up to her.

"Hey Manny how are you..you look horrible."Craig commented as he saw her.

"Thanks Craig your not looking bad yourself."Manny said sarcasticly.

"No seriously what happened?"Craig asked.

"It's-nothing nevermind."Manny muttered.

"Are you sure?"Craig asked agin with concern in his voice.

"Yeah.."Manny lied.That's all she's been doing lately.

"Oh um Jimmy is having a party to celebrate."Craig smiled.

"Celebrate what?"Manny asked glad that he changed the subject.

"He's going to America because they may have found something to cure him!"Craig said excitedly.

"What?"Manny exclaimed."That's great!"

"Yeah I know!And we're throwing a party to celebrate well a small one.But so you wanna come?"

Manny smiled."Yeah that would be great and I am sorta having this party well I didn't know I was having one but you can invite all your friends if you want."

"Oh I already knew about it."Craig laughed.

"Oh well then nevermind."Manny laughed nervously.

She then felt this urge as in she needed something she then felt the pack of ciggarettes in her back pcket.

"Um walk with me?Manny asked.

"Uh yeah sure."Craig replied.

They were walking unto they reached the alley where the school was.

"Why are we here?"Craig asked.

"Dunno,anyways what's new?"Manny asked.

"Nothing."Craig said as he leaned on the dirty brick wall.

"So..you and Ash?"Manny said suddenly.

Craig then became alert.

"What about us?"Craig asked suspiciously.

"Are you guys back together?"Manny asked.

"Well no we're working on it.well there's nothing to work out so no."Craig told Manny as he sighed.

Manny's hands were shaking and were fidgeting.

"Do you mind?"Manny asked him reaching for her pocket.

"Um mind what but whatever it is I guess not."He said in confusion.

She then took out my pack of cigarettes and lit one.

She inhailed and then let it out.When Manny opened my eyes his eyes were full of shock.

"Manny what the hell!"He yelled grabbing it from her mouth.He then stomped on it.

"What?"She spat now angry.

"Why are you smoking?"Craig asked.

"Because I can!"Manny relplied with aditude.

"That;s bad for you I thought you were smarter than that!"Craig scolded.

"Well I guess you thought wrong."Manny said coldly.

"What's going on?"Craig pleaded with her."Just tell me why you are acting like this-"

"Because Craig myh life sucks right now okay!It may not be as bad as your but to me it succks and it's all my fault!"Manny cried.

It was silent.

Tears then poured down her eyes and her legs became weak.She then fell to the ground and began to cry.

Craig was shocked and walked slowly up to her.

"My parents are never home and now I find out that they're getting a divorce because my dad left us for another woman.He left because his daughter is nothing but a stupid whore!"

"Manny don't say that look people make mistakes and the one your dad made is huge one day he will snap back to his senses and realize how dumb was he to leave a beautiful wife with a even more beautiful daughter."Craig smiled.

Manny then felt a little better.Somehow Craig could do that.He could make her life feel a lot better and make her feel sane whole and complete.

"Thanks Craig.."Manny smiled.

"No problem."Craig replied.

She then noticed how close they were.She knew what was comming.Manny then saw Craig's eyes close which meant the kiss was comming any second.She closed her eys and almost felt his lips when-

"Oh my god!"

She both turned thir heads and saw Marisa.

"Oh hi um I need to go bye Craig and thanks."Manny said as she got up and dusted herself.

"Wait Manny your hanging with Marisa?"Craig asked.

"Yeah and?"

"She's bad news no wonder you have been smoking it;'s becase of her!"Craig shouted.

"Hello i'm right here and don't talk about me!"Marisa snapped.

"Look just stay away from Manny!"Craig warned.

"Craig!"Manny shouted.

Marisa is my friend so don't talk about her!"Manny defended Marisa.

"Manny so am I!"Craig yelled back.

"Look i'm friends with Marisa so deal!"Manny said.

"Well I don't except that,I care about you and she will just stab you in the back."Craig said.

"Look I thought I can count on you but I guess I can't!Well just then don't talk to me."Manny snapped.

Again it was quiet.

"Fine."Craig said as he walked away.

Manny looked at him as he walked away._She felt as if her heart had been ripped out she regreted what she said.She wnted him to be there for her._

"You sure told him!"Marisa smiled.

Manny then felt as if she was going to cry.

"Yeah...I did."She said dissapointed.

* * *

**Well what did you think?Did you like it?Pleae review and let me know!**

**The next chapter is gonna be one of the best! It's the party and so much more!**

**It's basically how low Manny can go.Also I think we have a winner on who Manny should be with.**

**But remember love isn't eay!**

**Well I really hope you guys liked it!Please review they mean so much to me and i'll try to review your story!**

**Well here's the sneek peeks you love !**

"Trust me piercing your tounge won't hurt!"Marisa smiled.

"Are you sure?"I asked as we stood in fornt of the door.

"Yeah come on!"Marisa smiled as she pulled me into the store.

It was dingy and there was tattoo pictures everywhere.

"Hey Big daddy can you hook my friend with a little tounge?"Marisa asked.

"Don't know we need a parent or guardian signature.."He said.

Marisa then looked at him and smiled."Come on.."

**xxx**

"So this is what Meth feels like!"I laughed.

"Yeah it makes good profit selling I can cut you in if you want?"Marisa laughed.

It was_ soo _obvious she was drunk.

"I'm like gonna go talk to Craig because I uh gonna go."I slurred.

"You are so drunk too!"She smiled as she looked at me.

She then stood on the table.

"Who wants to see two girls mack!"Marisa asked.

The party crowd cheered.

**xxx**

I felt so hopeless and lost.I then held the razor to my skin.I closed my eyes and waited to embrace the pain.

The razor was right over my veins.

"Perfect."I whispered and I opened my eys to make sure it was there.When it was I closed my eyes again and was ready to press it.


	4. All That I've Got

**Thank you guys for all your support!I may have seem to have lost some fans yet gained new ones.**

**I hope you all liked the sneek peeks and i've decided the couple for sure and i'm pretty sure you guys**

**already know by now but i'm gonna take it slowly but it eventually it will be that couple.**

**If I take longer to update it's because of school ...yuck...lol well I hope you enjoy!**

**Please review it will only take like a couple of seconds but i really do love them!**

**This chapter Manny goes wild and tries to patch things up with Craig.**

**Yet at the same time he's reconsidering getting with Ashley.Remember this is the party chapter!**

**Also when Giovani appears...**

**(will be a cranny moment)(and a maybe a crash moment)**

**Alright anyways along with the story!(a/n sorry i havent updated in a while i will try harder to!)**

**Please review!**

Summary:Manny finally got her life back together,friends with Craig even..but when a new girl comes will she

take her back to the life that she just recovered?Or even worse?Ashley comes back from London..and not sure of the relationship

rated:pg-13 for violence,drug use,breif sex,language,situations involving teens

Disclaimer:I do not own Degrassi

warnings:in future chapters there may be a scene not meant for younger audience which i will change the ratings

a/n:even if i dont get that much reviews i will continue to update because I really fell in love with the plot and

i think this teaches us a lesson to always choose the right friends and learn to say no.

also will be a song fic kinda chapter

**IMPORTANT NOTE**: in the last chapter Manny was sexually assualted fact that one in every 4 girls are sexually molested/assulted

in America. The emotional trama and shame stays with you for longer that the act does.They think oh the abuse is over so they're okay

truth is that they are not okay.You will see as she tries to cope with her shame guilt and emotional trama in the wrong way.Even if it isn't sexual intercourse and it's just touching it's still the same pain.Still the same guilt of shame.So if you know anyone who has been sexually assulted please tell a counsular or a close friend.

* * *

_I bet this has happened to you before. When something's wrong someone will ask you what's wrong?_

_Obviously we will say nothing.Is it that we don't want them to know?Or in our minds pretend that nothing is really wrong?_

_Do we wish that the lie we said was really true?Yet if the person just acts if they don't care we want them to know._

_Everyone is fine pretending their not,it's one of the most easiest things to do,hide our emotions._

_

* * *

_

_**Last time in Tempataion...**_

"Look I thought I can count on you but I guess I can't!Well just then don't talk to me."Manny snapped.

Again it was quiet.

"Fine."Craig said as he walked away.

Manny looked at him as he walked away.She felt as if her heart had been ripped out she regreted what she said.She wnted him to be there for her.

"You sure told him!"Marisa smiled.

Manny then felt as if she was going to cry.

"Yeah...I did."She said dissapointed.

* * *

Chapter 4** All that i've Got**

J.T tapped his pencil clueless on the questions he was being asked on the peice of paper in front of him.His sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

He looked around at the class for maybe a sign when he saw Manny looking at him,she then smiled and he just looked down and pretended to write something.

Manny sighed and looked down at her paper.MsKwan had told her to study for the test and she had completly forgot.Well she didn't,it's just she had too many things in mind to give a time of day for this.

Her paper was blank.

"Great.."Manny sighed.She then wrote her name in block letters yet with a little bubble effect to it.Liberty then smiled as she had finsihed her test and was giving Manny an evil smile.She knew Manny had nothing on her paper wich made Manny feel like more of an idiot.

"Bitch."Manny mouthed toLiberty.

Liberty's face was full of shock and she was about to reply when-

**Rrrriiiiinnnnnggggggg**

Ms.Kwan then stood up,"Alright class now hand in your papers and I will grade them today."

Emma handed her's in first.

"Another A I can smell it."Ms.Kwan smiled.

"Hopefully want to start off the year good."Emma replied as she walked away.

Then J.T had proudly gave her his paper.

"Mr.York I am impressed you only left one question blank..off to a good start."Ms.Kwan said in shock.

"Thanks.Who knows maybe one of thoses guesses will be right."J.T smiled as he went to follow Liberty.

Libert handed her's in."Finished done right correct."Then turned to Manny."_Unlike_ others."

Manny gave Liberty a cold star and then dragged herself to turn it in.

Ms.Kwan had a smile on her face then Manny handed in her paper,her smile then faded,"Manny..you didn't even answer _any_."Her voice in shock.

"Yeah..well I had um..i'm gonna be late."Manny muttered as she quickly made her way out of class.

Ms.Kwan then shouted."Manny,i'm a little worried are you okay?"

Manny gave a fake smile."As can be."Ms.Kwan the nodded as other student's handed in thier papers.

Manny rushed out of class and saw J.T kiss Liberty on the cheek as she walked away.

Manny then tapped his shoulder.He turned around and when he saw her his face became pale.

"Look I am really sorry for what I said about you and it wasn't right and I shouldn't have."Manny apologized as she looked into his eyes.

"That wasn't cool."J.T suddenly said.He looked serious and when J.T was serious Manny felt so vulnerable and scared.

"I know,you know I am sorry it's just she really got me mad."She tried to explain.He hands were becoming sweaty.

"Still... and since when do you hate Liberty?"J.T asked.

"Look I don't it's just that I-"

"And since when do you hang with Marisa?"J.T asked again interupting Manny's first reply.

"Look I don't know okay J.T some other thngs are in my head and I just don't know what came over me."

J.T nodded."Bye."He then walked away.

Manny then had a confused look on her face, yet it was also hurt.She then walked over to the locker.

She leaned against the locker and slid down.Marisa then passed by.Manny imediately stood up.She then went up to Marisa who looked a little upset as if she was in a hurry to get somewhere but managed to put a smile for show.

"Marisa we need to talk."Manny pleaded getting her shoulder.Marisa then turned and Manny saw her impatient face.

"This may be a one timer but I actually wanna get to class early Gio is waiting for me."Marisa blushed slightly avoiding Manny's eyes.

"Wa-wa-wait!Gio as in Giovani?"Manny asked her face was full of shock.

Marisa then blinked and tilted her head slightly."Yeah..."

"I thought you set him up for me?"Manny asked pointing her finger to herself.

"Look Gio said it wasn't working out so i'm going for him,you have a problem?"Marisa asked as she put her hands to her hips.

"No,I don't it's just that's what I wanted to talk to you about.."Manny's voice trailed off.

"Why what happened?"Marisa asked.She looked as if she didn't care and Manny could sorta tell.

"Well he-"Manny looked around and pulled Marisas arm leading her close to the lockers then whispered,"Kinda raped me."

Marisa's eyes poped open."Serious?Did he use a condom?"

"Well he didn't exactly raped me but attempted to."Manny explained feeling embaressed.

Marisa sighed rolled her eyes."Manny I love you but seriously you are way to sensitive as long as he didn't put his keys into your ignition it's fine now I have to go so love ya and i'll see you after school."She then turned and started to walk backwards a little,"Remember we need to get your tounge done!"Marisa waved and walked to class.

Manny then put her hands over face and screamed.Then she took a deep breath,"I'm such a whore."

* * *

Craig was walking to class when Ashley tapped his shoulder."Hi!"

"Oh hey Ash,what's going on?"Craig asked as they began walking together.

"Nothing just blah.."Ashley smiled.

"How interesting."Craig said sarcasically.

"Shut up."Ashley laughed.Then it was quiet."Look Craig..."

"Ash I told you why can't we just be friend's?"Craig asked.

"We can..it's just I miss you."Ashley said facing him.

"I do too..but I just can't get with you again I mean the way you left you messed me up and you didn't need to worry about me and i'm trying to get over-"

at that moment Manny saw Craig and smiled as she began to walk closer she heard.

"-you but I will always love you."

Ashley smiled."Me too always and forever."

Manny's heart felt as if it ripped in half.Everything was going wrong.She did not like Craig so why was she feeling this?Why was she feeling jealous but more hurt.She couldn't explain it.She just turned around and ran.

Her day was so crappy she couldn't belive it.

What was worse she didn't have a best friend or at least she didn't think that she did.Whatever I mean what could be worse.

Ms.Hatzilakos then saw Manny and went up to her."Manny just the perosn i was looking for."

Manny turned to her."Hi Miss.H I am kinda in a hurry because i'm gonna be late for my next class and-"

"Don't worry this won't take long I just need to talk to you."Ms.Hatzilakos replied.

Manny nodded and smiled as she walked over to her.

"Well it seems that your little pop quiz I gave this morning and you failed and i'm a little worried that your starting the year badly."

"Oh well things are sorta complicated now and i'm sorry."Manny replied.

"Oh alright well go to your next class."

Manny sighed and went to her next class.As she was walking she went inside the bathroom.

She ran to the mirror and stared at herself.AS she closed her eyes she took a deep breath.

_"Yeah it does Matter!Manny you are my best friend and something isn't right!"Emma shouted at me._

_"Well Emma sometimes you need to mind your own buisness."I replied now standing up in front of her._

"_We couldn't and we got a divorce,Manuella we love you and didnt want you to get hurt!"She cried._

_Your father left us for another woman."She said quietly_

She the opened her eyes.

"You are such a slut.A whore, a hoodrat a good for nothing piece of shit.Why live anymore all you do is make people's lives hell."Manny said to herself."Cut youraself I mean really who would care?Craig would've but you kinda fucked that up too,man your so pathetic.."

It was like arguing with herself.Manny felt numb it didn't seem real...nothing did..She pinched herself to make sure she was alive.

_I can't feel anything.Am I alive is this real?_Manny looked at her arm she saw it red form the pinch but didn't feel it._What if i'm dead?_Panicked rushed through her body.She felt scared as stupid as it sunded to her she reall wondered if she was alive.She needed to do and feel something.

She then leaned down and got a a lighter and a pen from her backpack.She sparked the lighter and lit the tip of the pen.

She stared at the tip and smiled.Without even a second thought she got the tip of her pen and pressed it aginst her skin.The metal tip burned aginast her skin and made a hole.Blood started to come out.Manny's eyes filled with tears.She the took the pen out of her skin and stared at the wound on her arm with serious eyes.tears came pouring down but her face still stayed serious.She then heard footsteps and got her bag and the lighter but had forgotten the pen.She was about to go back and get it but she didnb't want to get caught.Manny closed the stall and stood on top of the toilet.

All she heard was two voices.

"Did you hear what Gio said?"

"What?"

"Well that he did Manny Santos."

"The whore?"

"Yeah and she wanted it and begged for it like the dog she is."

"Oh my god you know I think she should have H.I.V by now."

"Yeah well anyways the only reason she is a little popular is because of Marisa and that stupid prep Paige."

"Totally well we better get back to class."

"Eww that pen is full of blood."

"Maybe it's that freak Ellie's."

"Didn't she stop?

"What she's still a freak."

The two girls laughed.

Manny heard the two girls leave and cried as she opened the stall.

She yelled in frustration as she took the pen and stared at the tip...

Manny was late and she knew it.What was the point of going early.

As she was walking she saw Craig.

Her heart riped in half.For some reason when he was around she felt as if her whole body craved him as if she needed him and she hated that feeling of needing someone she just hated it.

She then remembered what she said to him.

_"Look I thought I can count on you but I guess I can't!Well just then don't talk to me."Manny snapped._

_Again it was quiet._

_"Fine."Craig said as he walked away._

Manny knew she had toi fix it because Craig was really the only thing that kept her sane in life and especially now.

"Craig!"Manny called.

Craig saw her and sighed.

Manny jogged towards him.

He quickly turned away.

"Craig wait stop please!"Manny pleaded.

Craig turned and had a pist face on."What?"

"Craig I am so sorry what I said it's not true what I said to you I just got mad and words were said that weren't meant."Manny tried to explain.

"What you said sucked Manny I mean all I want to do is help you."Craig said.He ran his hands through his hair wavy yet curly.

"I know and i'm-"

**RRIIINNNNGGGGG**

"Craig get into class!"The teacher shouted.

"Alright."Craig yelled back he was about to go back in when Manny got his shoulder.

"Wait Craig please come to the party at my house..please.."Manny pleaded once again to him.

He looked at her and she could tell he was debating on it in his head by the look in his eyes.

She bit her bottom lip waiting for him made her feel as if she was about to go down on a roller coaster.

"I don't know maybe...you better get to class."Craig said as he went inside the class and closed the door.

Manny stood there and blinked.

_Okay did I fix things?Or what?Well at least he is talking to me now and that's more than okay.Great i'm late for my next class..oh well fuck it how can it get any worse?_

* * *

"Detention!"Manny yelled as she slammed her bag on the floor.Some students got startled by this.

"Yes Miss.Santos you seem to have been late and you know my policy."Ms.Kay said giving Manny a stren look as she was writting notes.

"I told you that i'm sorry please you can't give me a detention I have to get home!"Manny pleaded,she was cupping her hands together.

The rest of the class was staring at her some whisperes and some giggles and some were just listening because they had no lives.

"Why?What's so important?"Ms.Kay asked,taking off her glasses.

_Alright i've done this before top of head lies.Just do it Manny that's what you seem to be good at lately._

"My dad is comming home today early from work because he is going to be going to a buisness trip for a month and it's sort of his good bye thing please Ms.Kay you can't do this to me!"Manny whispered giving Ms.Kay a sad look of hurt and innocence.

Ms.Kay looked at her and seemed to look at Manny's eyes for sincerity.She the gave Manny a questionable look and then took a heavy sigh.

"Alright..take your seat."Ms.Kay said putting back on her glasses.

Manny smiled."Thank you."

As Manny turned to walk to her seat she rolled her eyes and mouthed 'Bitch'

She took her seat and looked out the window.

"Alright class let's get started."

After school

"Argh any more homework and i'm gonna die I swear!"Paige complained.As she shut her locker and continued walking with Hazel Marco and Jimmy.

"Relax Paige it isn't that bad."Marco smiled.

Paige then opened her bag and showed him three thick books."What were you saying?"Paige asked raising an eyebrow.

"Geez well I think I know something that will help."Marco suggested giving Paige a flirty smile but she knew he was kidding.

"Um a homework hut?"Hazel asked.Jimmy chucked at his girlfriend's comment.

" I wish.No Haze Manny's party."Marco said simply.He opened the door as Paige,Hazel followed by Jimmy went out.

"Sounds fun."Jimmy said looking up at his friends.

"We so need a party it's not a horny party right?"Paige asked folding her arms.

"Paige all parties are horny parties."Hazel laughed.

"Well as long as there's drinks i'm fine with it."Jimmy said with his hands in the air.

"Ha Jim funny..."Marco said dryly.He then looked and saw Craig."Craig!"Marco waved.Craig looked and walked over to them.

"Hi guys."Craig replied waving at them.

"Hey Craig."Jimmy greeted.

Paige gave a fake grin and Hazel smiled.Marco then saw thier reactions and rolled his eyes.

"Hey Craig you going to Manny's party?"Marco asked.

"I don't know yet..."Craig paused."Not sure."

"You know who better not be there Marisa.Urgh I hate that slut!"Paige grumbled.

"Well she so happens to be hanging around Manny and is popular."Hazel said getting into the conversation.

"So what does that mean?"Paige asked.

"She's gonna be at the party."Jimmy said.

"I don't know but I hate Marisa too she's a bad influence for Manny."Craig replied.

Paige and Hazel looked at Craig because they finally agreed on something.

"I think Manny can handle herself I mean she's not stupid."Jimmy said.

* * *

"Marisa i'm kinda nervous."Manny said looking at the tattoo stor from outside.The building was back and had tagging all over it.Pictures of tattoo's were all over the place and the door was metal.Manny's hands were becoming sweaty.

Marisa then turned and smiled at her.

Manny POV

"Trust me piercing your tounge won't hurt!"Marisa smiled.

"Are you sure?"I asked as we stood in fornt of the door.

I then took one step back.The burn on my arm hurt I can imagine on how it wasgonna feel on my tounge.

"Yeah come on!"Marisa smiled as she pulled me into the store.I stumbled as I stepped in.

It was dingy and there was tattoo pictures everywhere it was just like outside except maybe a little crappier

I then saw a man sitting down with a beer in his hand.Her looked like a stereotype tatto guy.He had that leather jacket vest and a white shirt.

He had brownish salt and peper hair with a hair mustache.He had biker boots and he had not a lot of peircing I expected Big Daddy to be a literally metal head.As soon as he saw Marisa he smiled and sighed.He put his beer down and walked towards us.

"Hey Big daddy can you hook my friend with a little tounge?"Marisa asked as she opened her own mouth jus to clarify.

"Don't know we need a parent or guardian signature.."He said whiling looking at me.He then was staring at my chest and smiled.

I got uncomfortable and hugged my shoulder to make it seem like I was cold.

Marisathen looked at him and smiled."Come on.."She then made him sit on his chair.Then got on top of him."Please..."

I was disguested and was about to grab her to leave._ Did I act like that? Did I act like a ho to make Giovani wnt to have sex with me? Maybe I shouldn't be angry with him or Marisa.God I feel so worthless now.As I see Marisa act like that for some reason it makes me feel like..i'm like that or I wan't to do worse.I mean what's the point...I'm nothing but shame.._

I quickly got snapped out of my trance when I heard.

"Come on Sexy."Big Daddy said.

Marisa giggled as I found out he was talking to me.He then patted on the seat.

"Is it gonna hurt?"I asked as I walked over to the seat.He then got my leg and smiled.

"Don't worry senorita just sit and look sexy."He told me.

Marisa then started laughing and got up and stood behind big daddy.

"Uh...um don't I need something to numb it?"I asked as I started to look at some way to get out of this situation.

He smiled."Sexy and smart."He grined as he got off his seat and had a bottle.The bottle was a water bottle that had some liquid.He poured it into a little cup like the one's you put ketchup in.

"Drink this."He said handing it to me.I looked at the little cup and saw Marisa's smile.My hands were shaking as I got the cup.Iplaced it on my lips smelling it.

"WOAH!That smells like shit!"I yelled.

"Don't smell just drink hurry before someone comes and see's."He said looking at the door.My guess that he was doing Marisa a favor.

"Alright."I said as I took a breath.

"God Manny it isn;t gonna kill ya come on we have a major party to prepare for!"Marisa nagged.

"Alright!"I yelled repeating myself.

_This is a mistake,no!No,it's not just do it you'll look hotter and guys will want you,you'll receive so much attention...but do I really want it?_

_Okay enough thinking just do it!_

I just gulped it.I was right it did taste like shit mixed with crap plus throw up!I almost barfed it up until Marisa cupped my mouth.

"Taste-"

"Like shit!"She finished for me.

Big Daddy then sat down,"Stick out your tounge..."

I stuck out my tounge and saw the big needle headed towards my tounge when-

* * *

"So this is your idea of not hurting?"I asked her.I had a mirror she let me borrow as I was looking at my tounge.

"Yeah come on Manny it didn't hurt that bad.."Marisa hugged me.

We were walking down the street towards my house when she had made a turn.She told me that she had to make a stop.

"Are we there yet?"I asked looking at the time.

"Chillax..the party is at what seven thirty and it's like what...four?we have like three hours besides we need goods."Marisa explained to me as we walked into an alley.

Two guys were waiting there all in dark clothing.

"Hey De Tweek!"Marisa called.

_I was confused were those actually names?_I shurgged as the two guys walke up to us well Marisa actually.

"Alright got the-"ONe guys said but stoped as he looked at me and then Marisa.

"Oh she's cool."Marisa said.

He nodded."heaven's and lights."

"Cool."Marisa said.

"Where's the money?"The other guy asked.

"Look I have some acid.."Marisa said.

"Alright how much?"He asked.

I was now becoming nervous.I was just gawking on what was happening in front of me.

Marisa threw him her bag and he looked inside.

"And there's about nine hundred dollars in there too."Marisa added.

The guys smiled and got the bag and threw Marisa his bag.

The other guys then gave Marisa and ice chest.

"Alright pleasure doing buisness with you."

They then walked away in sort of a jog.

"Did you just deal drugs?"I asked in shock.

"Define..deal."She grinned at me.I gave her a stern look.

With her foot she lifted the top of the ice chest which revealed beer,vodka,shots,and so much more.

"Marisa.."I said in shock.

"There's also crack,pot,Crystal meth,heroin,and ecstacy."She said with pride.

"Manny I have to teach you the ropes."Marisa explained."I'll carry the ice chest and you'll get my bag."She explained lifting the ice chest.

I slowyl got her bag and it was pretty heavy.I sighed and had the urge to look around.

Marisa then came close to me."We won't get caught don't worry."

I smiled."I'm not worried."I told her.

She laughed as we began to walk towards my house.

* * *

_Yeah...  
Uh huh  
So seductive _

Manny's house was full of people.Some were making out some were drinking.Other's were dancing wild and some were getting stoned.

I was looking for Craig or Emma and Marisa.I wanted to talk to someone.I mean I was bored without a drink or with a dance partner.I couldn't find anyone I was wiling to dance with yet.Marisa had gotten thr party started eariler and then as guest came she just dissapeared.I haven't seen Gio yet but if he were here I don't think I would have a good chance because there was soo manh people i'm suprised that they all fit into my house.Maybe at Jimmy's but I guess since my house had two stories that's why.As I made my way through the hallway I saw Jimmy's wheelchair.

Then I saw Paige Hazel and Jimmy and went up to them.

"Hi guys thank you for comming half the peple here I don't know,"I said while giving each of them a hug.

Paige yelled over the music since it was loud.

"It's fine hon we need a party!"

"Amen to that!"Jimmy said raising his beer.Hazel giggled and bent down to kiss him but she just stayed on his lap.

"Alright is Craig here!"I yelled back hoping they would say yes I really needed to talk to him.

"I don't know he's coming with Marco!"Paige yelled back.

"Oh okay."I yelled.I don't think either of them heard me because they were dancing well Paige was and Jimmy and Hazel were making out.

_Take you to the candy shop  
I'll let you lick the lollypop  
Go 'head girl, don't you stop  
Keep going 'til you hit the spot_

_Manny POV still..._

I made my was through the crowd till I was in the living room.More people were making out and some were just practically having sex with each other well dry sex to be exact.Then I saew this hottie and he saw me the song Candy shop was on.I loved this song to me it was so sexy.I was glad he was comming over to me I hoped he was bcause then I would be very embaressed.I flashed my eyes and he smiled back.So he was talking to me.  
"Wanna dance?"He asked me.I started to move my body to the beat.  
"Sure."I flirted.  
He got my hand and turned me around so that my back was towards him.He was holding my sides as I began dancing.f you know how to dirty dance then you know how I was dancing.It's like practically having dry sex.I turned and faced him as I put my arms on his shoulder and his stayed at my hips.

Normal POV

Just at that moment Craig and Marco came in.A blast of music boomed through thier bodies.  
"Dude maybe this was a bad idea."Craig said looking around.To him it looked like an oregy mixed with a 4/20 gathering.  
"Come on let's just find Paige,Jmmy and Hazel."Marco said as he walked through the crowd.  
Craig felt girl's trying to grab _him _in places.He felt weird because most of them were high or something.Not drunk because they would be sluring instead of laughing like Crazy.Marco then at that moment spoted Paige,Hazel,And Jimmy.  
"Hey!"Marco shouted.Craig then followed.  
"Hey you guys!"Paige smiled she was really into the song.Marco or Craig has never seen Piage dance like that so they were pretty shocked.  
"Where's Manny?"Marco asked.  
Paige pointed to Manny and the guy she was dancing with.  
Craig then rolled his eyes and Manny saw.

"Hey I gotta go get some drinks."Manny whispered in the guy's ear.  
"Alright."He said as he walked away.Manny knew the guy just wanted to feel her body against his because as soon as she turned around he was dancing with some other girl.  
"Predictable."Manny muttered under the breath.As she made her way towards the fron of her living room she tried to get to where Craig was.  
"Craig!"Manny yelled.Obviously he didn't hear her.She got closer and tapped his shoulder.  
He quickly turned and saw Manny.He forced a smile."The party is..."  
"I know Crazy I thought it would just be like thirty people but Iguess Marisa knows people."Manny said.Her eyes poped opened as she mentioned marisa's name.She bearly remembered that,that's why they had gotten into the fight.  
He stood quiet.  
"Look Craig you know that I am sorry right?"Manny asked.  
"I know it just hurt you know."Craig said.He then looked at Manny with sincere eyes.  
Manny smiled back knowing that this argument would be over.  
"Craig let's take a walk what do you say?"Manny yelled back.  
Craig smiled."You want to leave your party?"  
"For you.I'm gonna get my coat."Manny yelled again before geading upstairs.She turned with a smile form cheek to cheek.She couldn't belive that her life was comming back together!Manny had changed eariler before the party.She had the same outfit from the rave except her hair was stright and she had regular hoop earings.As she headed upstairs she almost lost her balance because of her chuncky sandal shoes.Manny stepped over makingout couples and stoned people.She then heard some noise from her parent's bedroom.Manny then walked closer and put her ear to the door.It was obvious a couple was more than making out she didn't want any messes so she opened the door and was shocked at what she saw.

Marisa and Giovani were under her parent's blanets.  
"Oh my god!"Manny squealed as she slammed the door.All she heard was a 'Manny' but she didn't care.She had forgotten about her coat and riushed downstairs tripping a couple of times.As she skiped the last step in a jump she rushed past Craig with tears in her eyes.

She didn't care about Gio at all.She hated him,well not really but the fact that Marisa would do that to her.The fact that after Giovani did that to her Marisa could give a rat's ass and have sex with him.Manny would never do that to a friend.She had done something simular but that was in the past.

Craig saw Manny rush by and tried to go after her.Manny ran outside as it was sprinkling.She ran fast enough after two minutes she was at the park.Tears were streaming down her eyes all her mascara was in her face.Manny fell on the grass and screamed.The sprikling turned into rain.The thin material that bearly covered her body was soaked.So she was practically wearing nothing,or that's what her body felt.Goosebumps bumped up as the cold raindrops splashed on her skin.  
"God!Why?Why Is everything going so damn fucken wrong!"Manny screamed.She then covered her face with her hands and screamed as loud as she could.It hurt her throat so bad but she didn't care.Her body was numb.She hated yet loved the feeling of feeling numb it took the pain away but she didn't knwo if she was there.Manny ran her hands through her now wet and tangled hair.Still crying.  
"Stop punishing me!Please I learned my lesson I just wanna do things right and yet they go so wrong!Please stop punishing me!"Manny pleaded crying looking up at the dark sky while squinting because of the rain.  
Craig then ran as he saw her what looked liek to be crying.He ran up to her she must've been cold wearing practically nothing.

He ran next to her and kneeled down.She turn to him and he saw her tears.He has never seen her this way.She looked like shit-not to be mean.Her hair was messy and her mascara was everywhere.Her clothes were wet and her eyes were puffy and red.She was having difficuly breathing you know after you try to stop crying.  
"Manny..."Craig said looking at what a mess she was.Just less than five minutes ago she was fine happy even.No she looked a mess.She lookeed into his eyes.He then hugged her to keep her warm."Please..tell..him."Manny whispered.Craig then looked at her as she rubbed the remaining mascara on her cheek off.  
"What?"Craig whispered back still hugging her fearing she would get sick or do something stupid.  
"Tell..him to stop.."Manny whispered in almost asleep.Her grip on his waist was getting less tense.  
"Stop what?"Craig asked now shivering too.  
"To stop punishing me..."Manny whispered to his question.Her grip was lost.He looked at her.He didn't know if she had calmed down that she was just there or she fell into a sleep.Or if she was even concious.All he knew that for the next five minutes he and Manny were alone at the park at 11:45pm.Hugging eachother in the rain.Not moving or speaking.ON the little hill next to the spinner and swings.

"Manny.."Craig began after five minutes passed.She rubbed her head and she looked up at his eyes.A smile was across her face.This took Craig as a shock ._juss a lil while ago she was crying and having an emotional break down now she's smiling and I thought i had bi polar.."It's _raining and-"  
"No duh.."Manny joked.She then sat up and they were both facing each other.  
"Here!"Craig said alarmed as he put his jacket on her.She laughed and hugged herself.As she laughed Craig noticed something shinny in her mouth."is that a did you get your-"  
"Yep!"Manny smiled as she stuck out her tounge."I am soo much happier I nearly realized that I need some fun!"  
"Manny...I think your confused."Craig began.Manny stood up and laughed again.  
"Nope i'm sane look we both are at my house for one thing..to party!And that's what we're gonna do!"She said in a daring voice.  
"I don't know.."Craig debated.Manny then got his hand and leaned herself aginst him.The wet clothes made her seem like she was wearing nothing.It was like feeling a naked body against his skin.Craig gulped and blushed Manny noticed because she grinned.  
"I don't know about you but I wanna party you can come with me or you can just stay here and swing in the rain your choice."  
Craig looked at Manny unsuringly.She wasn't high or drunk he knew that but her behavior was off.  
"Come on!"Manny said as she took his hand and lead him out of the park.They ran Craig trailing behind as they walked into the party.  
As soon as they walked in Marisa was there.Craig knew that manny was upset about Marisa but he didn't know why.  
"Manny i'm so sorry I mean I thought you were cool with it and ..uh ..wanna beer special mix?"Marisa shaked the bottle in her hand.  
"Alright.."Manny said simply as she took the beer and downed it.Craig looked in shock as Marisa smiled and laughed.  
"Woah chicka!"Marisa shouted."Come on!"Marisa dragged Manny deep into the crowd and before Craig could move they were gone.

* * *

"Okay so you used smoke and inhail."Marisa explained.She gave Manny a meth pipe as they were ina room with people already high.  
"Alright so um do i..uh I don't know."manny said.She was drunk well wasted.Her hair was a messand she now really looked like crap.That's one thing Marisa ever hated about Manny.No matter how high or how messed up she was she always managed to look hot in some way.  
"Just do it."Marisa slurred.While looking up at the ceiling.  
Manny couldn't belive at what she was about to do.She put the pipe gently onher lips and Marisa smiled...

...Manny POV

_It felt like the world was spinniny..it was like haha.Okay so i'm lauging for no reason..wait is that a bunny?  
_I started to see things that's weren't even there.My head felt like a bitch and I was burning.As I looked around my vision became a little blury.  
I had a masive headache and I was becoming sweaty yet it felt great!I loved this feeling and craved this feeling.I was so damn pist because I couldn't find Marisa why was I so fucken mad!  
"Marisaa!"I yelled."Where the fuck are you you fucken bitch!"  
Marisa then came behind me scaring me."What the hell!  
"Sorry Manny it's just i'm so horny right now!"She yelled in my ear laughing._  
_"So this is what Meth feels like!"I laughed.  
"Yeah and mixed with booze even better!"Marisa said.  
"I like am ..yeah.."  
"Yeah it makes good profit selling I can cut you in if you want?"Marisa laughed.  
It was soo obvious she was drunk.  
"sure why not?"I replied.  
"Yeh now i'm so damn bored!"She yelled.  
"I'm like gonna go talk to Craig because I uh gonna go."I slurred.  
"You are so drunk too!"She smiled as she looked at me.  
She then stood on the table.  
"Who wants to see two girls mack!"Marisa asked.  
The party crowd cheered._I looked in the audidence but they looked all funny and weird..ha pony's..what am I saying?  
_Marisa got my hand and stood me on the table.  
"Meet Manny!"Marisa shouted.The crowd cheered.I then bowed.  
""I love you all like the way I love uh...stuff..and the number 69..but I don't like numbers I hate math.."I began shouting to the audience.  
"Manny?"A person shouted.As i looked I saw Jimmy,Paige,and Hazel just looking at me as if I were crazy."What the hell?"  
"I'm a lion!"I shouted."Hear me roar!"I laughed.Paige then whispered somthing to Jimmy and Hazel shouted"Get down!"  
"But I don't wanna!"I yelled back.As I faced Marisa she looked high too.  
"Alright now once again two girls making out bring your camera's out!"Marisa shouted.  
I then saw Craig and Marco run in.CRaig was soaking wet and so was I.No wonder guys were staring at me a lot more.  
Craig looked so hot with his hair his lips"Craig your so fucken hot!"I yelled.Then he looked back at me."Did I say that out loud?"  
"Anyways here we go!"Marisa shouted as she got my hand and pulled me towards her.  
"Stop!"Craig shouted.He came up on the table and a lot of guys booed him some shouted"Get off!"  
Marisa then snapped,"Look don't you get a clue leave!"  
"You don't have a clue your too high!"Craig yelled back.Craig was being my super hero he was saving me from kissing a girl.But I kinda ewanted to kiss Marisa I mean i've never kissed a girl before..ever.  
"What if I want t kiss her?"I asked craig while almost falling.He got me and was holding me.  
"Manny I care for you okay and your not in right stae of mind so come down."He explained to me.  
_His lips were moving but all I could hear was blah blah blah...man he looked so hot...even though I dind't like him he was still so damn hot..maybe I did Like him..no I didn't..I wanna kiss him..._  
I then grabbed his shirt and pulled him towards me and loked into his eyes.He was soo shocked because he had no idea what was comming next..I placed ,my hands behind his head and I pulled him down towards me.He couldn't speak because then next thing he knew I was kissing him.I forced my tounge inside of him.I heard the audience cheer and say "I want some of that."  
He kissed me back!I was so happy.I started to toch his abs when he pulled back.This suprised me.  
"What the hell!"I asked him.Okay first I went from horny to angry and I mean angry.  
"This isn't right your high on something!"Craig yelled. I looked around and the crowd was gone now and Marisa was getting off the table she looked so mad at me_.What did I do to her?Was she mad just because I can get a guy?Whatever she's a bitch_.Well I focused my attention back to Craig.  
"So you don't like me?"I asked him.  
"Manny!I don't know okay! First you tell me like a day ago oh I want to be just friends nothing more and now we're maing out on a table all wet?"He exclaimed.For some reason my anger turned into sadness.I mean sadness I couldn't speak I couldn't do much of anything_.He hated me.My whole world just went crashing down everyitn my life went down.  
_"Whatever.."I said quietly as I jumped off the table.I guy asked if I wanted to dance as soon as I got off and I told him go fuck his mom.CRaig followed me.  
"Manny it's the truth!"Craig shouted.He then got my shoulder and gently turned me around.  
"I'm gonna leave you alone."I told him coldly as I walked away.  
"Your not being fair!"Craig yelled after me.Tears were comming from my eyes.  
"Craig we're not even together and i'm alrready crying over you..again!"I yelled.All I knew is that I was running.My vision then became more blurry.I don't remember if I fell or what happened all I remember doing is blanking out.

* * *

I opened my eyes then all of a sudden I was in the bathroom floor upstairs.I don't knwo if I was asleep or if I just didn't remember anything.My head hurted but not as bad as a hangover.I looked outside the bathroom and realized the party was till on I heard music and saw making out.I checked my watch I had only been out for two hours.Then I felt something in my thorat.I crawled on all fours to the toilet and vomited.I couldn't stop.Tears began to fall as I coughed and vomited.My hands were shkay and I was sweaty again.After about two minutes I flushed the toilet.I sat up aginst the wall.I was breathign heavy."As I fall you let go let the world see what I know.."I began to whisper and sing.I put my head back and closed my eyes_.I needed that burning feeling again..._I slowly got up with a struggle and stumbled to the bathroom door and shut it.I stayed resting against the door for about a minute.I felt so drained and depressed_.Was it the meth?Whatever _I really didn't care.All I know is that I was fully awake.The meth was working.I then with my left arm felt the walls as I made my way to the sink.In the medicene cabnet I got my dad's razor.I starred at the blade and as the light hit it ,it shined like when the sun burns your eyes.I took a deep breath.All my emotions then came out.I was angry depressed and well felt like I was just there.  
I felt so hopeless and lost.I then held the razor to my skin.I closed my eyes and waited to embrace the pain.

The razor was right over my veins.

"Perfect."I whispered and I opened my eyes to make sure it was there.I then closed my eyes again and was ready to press it.Press all the pain away and get rid of all these emotions inside of me.I then took a deep breath...

* * *

**What did you think?I clifhanger(however u spell it!)yeah I hate those soo much I don't know why I put**

**it I didn't mean to but it was getting waayyyyy to long my longest chapter yet?Did you like it?Let me know really!**

**But not too many mean things flammers make me sad...lol so i've decided a couple and i'm going to make the other degrassi people appear too!Emma is going to be in the next one because of a suprise...dun dun dun!also more of J.T,Darcy,Marco,Paige,Jimmy!Oh definately Jimmy because he's going away but he might get better so wish him luck!Also Manny get's into a fight!**

**Well I shall give you all the all so famous sneek peeks!yay!Well here we are!**

"So did you hear what happened at Manny's party?"J.T whispered to Liberty.

"What did she screw a guy?"Liberty asked blankly.J.T sighed heavily.

"Libby come on..no she didn't or I don't know but she got all stoned I think."J.T whispered to her.

"Well good once a whore now a stoner."Liberty whispered back.

"Look I would be happy if you didn't talk shit about her."J.T said annoyed.

Emma then listened to the conversation.Emma then got her cell and went to phone Book and when she got to Manny she pressed text message.**Hey Manny Lib is talkin shit bout u.**

Manny then got the text message and read it.Her body boiled up.**im gonna fuck her up so bad!**

**xxxxxxxx**

"I'm so glad that you don't care about pain..it doean't affect you maybe after we hit Mario's we can get tattoo's."Marisa suggested.

"Well I don't feel it it's like i'm numb.."Manny began.She then rolled on her side to face Marisa.

"I know somehting that will make you feel even more numb you'll love it."Marisa began as she reached for her bag.

Manny sat up,"What is it?"She asked.

marisa pulled out a spraycan and in marker it read **NOS**

"Nos?"Manny asked.While holding the can.

"The thing to make the car go faster,it also can make the room spin fatser..."Marisa began.She then looked at Manny.

"Well take it."

Manny looked at the can with curiosity."How do I-do I put it in my mouth and spray?"

Marisa nodded.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Jimmy and Craig were sitting on the couch as everyone fought over which movie to see.

"dude you've been quiet since last weeks party.."Jimmy began."I don't know about you but I had a great time.."

"It's just Manny she's loosing control.."Craig said softly.

"What do you mean?"Jimmy asked.

"She's really loosing control of who she is..and Marisa isn't helping her either."Craig said.

Paige's phone then rang"Oh my god what happened?"Tears then came down her eyes.

**You will never belive wha the news Paige recieved is!Guess and if anyone guesses it write I will e-mail u guys the next chapter in advanced.!**

**Please review!**


	5. Going Under

**As I always say when I start writting is THANK YOU!Thanks a lot for all your support and reviews!**

**really i do love ur reviewsd they make me happy and make me wanna make the next chappy.**

**So did you Cranny fans enjoy thier moments?For now they're gonna be friends.**

**Okay last chappy was soooo long I just couldn't stop writting I mean I got into it and that's why it took longer.**

**So hehe sorry about this.Alright well i think you guys will enjoy this chappy very much.**

**This chapter there is gonna be fight you will obviously know who if ya read the sneek peeks.Maris tells Manny a secret,Manny finally realizes she might have a crush on a guy that begains with a C and ends with a G and inbetween r-a-i.Lol can you guess?Well yeah**

**and Manny and Paige recieve devastating news.And..Jimmy goes to America to try to get surgery!Also someone comes back!**

**Will this mean good news or bad news for the kids of Degrassi?Im sorry but I might break up a couple..I just can't stand them.**

**Oh and Xd3licious sorry if it did sound like your chapter eight I didn't mean for it to sound like that it's just i'm sorta well you obviously know im basing it on thirteen..so sorry if it sounded like that and also thank you for ur complement love ur story girl!**

**Well all said that needs to be oh and keep guessing for the Paige thing!**

**well please review!Please and i will give you brownies! ;)**

**This will be my longest chapter yet! 15 wrdpad pages.SO be prepared but I promise it's good!**

Summary:Manny finally got her life back together,friends with Craig even..but when a new girl comes will she

take her back to the life that she just recovered?Or even worse?Ashley comes back from London..and not sure of the relationship

rated:pg-13 for violence,drug use,breif sex,language,situations involving teens

Disclaimer:I do not own Degrassi

warnings:in future chapters there may be a scene not meant for younger audience which i will change the ratings

a/n:even if i dont get that much reviews i will continue to update because I really fell in love with the plot and

i think this teaches us a lesson to always choose the right friends and learn to say no.

**READ THIS!** I am going to make another fan fic on love movies& Cranny now should it be,Moulin Rouge(the girl is missunderstood and the guy is so damn hot and musically talented!),Titanic(um it's a great and sad love story),Swan Princess(i dunno why I put this..)Aladdin(because the guy is an oprhan and well yeah),Grease(the all famous one) LET ME KNOW!

Fun Fact bout Me:whenever i start to write a story i look for songs that can relate to this story so i spend from five minutes to a half hour looking for a perfect or close to perfect tittle.

_"Blurring and Stirring the truth and the lies so I don't know what's real and what's not always confusing the thougths in my head so I can't trust myself amnymore i'm dying again"-Evanescence;Going Under_

_Pain doesn't care who you are..._

_

* * *

_

_Last Time in Temptation..._

_Your not being fair!"Craig yelled after me.Tears were comming from my eyes.  
"Craig we're not even together and i'm alrready crying over you..again!"I yelled.All I knew is that I was running.My vision then became more blurry.I don't remember if I fell or what happened all I remember doing is blanking out._

_The razor was right over my veins.  
"Perfect."I whispered and I opened my eyes to make sure it was there.I then closed my eyes again and was ready to press it.Press all the pain away and get rid of all these emotions inside of me.I then took a deep breath.._

_

* * *

_

Chapter 5:Going Under

_Why was this so hard?Might as well do it now then ever..._

My hands were shaking rapidly.I felt my eyes getting heavy again._But Manny your worthless besides if your gonna kill yourself might as well do it now..._

I pushed the razor against my skin.I thought I was gonna feel lots and lots of pain bit I didn't feel that much pain maybe it was the meth going through my body.I saw the blood comming out...I was alive?I moved the razor out of my vision of my wrist.I hadn't cut my vein it wasn't deep but I was numb.

Then it was dripping and on the floor.

"Shit!"I hissed as I bent down and got knocked out of my own trance.I then got some toilet pepaer and skwated on the floor and cleaning rapidly.The more I was cleaning more blood was dripping from my wrist.

"Urgh!"I yelled to myself.I got up and frantically got a little mini towel and pressed it against my wrist putting pressure on it.Then I looked back at the floor and I knew blood stained."Just fucken great all I need is for-"

KNOCK KNOCK

"-fuck."I finished.This was just great.I looked around and saw a matt."Someone is in here!"I shouted while getting my foot to place the matt on top of the blood stains.

"Manny?"The voice asked.I turned my head so fast that it almost cracked.

"Look i'm busy so come back later!"I yelled. I know I sounded harsh but I didn't care as long as the people went away I was fine...well not really.

I then sucessfully put the matt on top of the blood.

"What are you doing?"The voice asked.Okay now this chick was getting on my nerves.She was bothering me and poking her nose into other people's buisness.I then checked my wrist to see if the bleeding stopped...it didn't and the mini towel was full of blood.My heart beat started to quicken .

"Hello?"The person asked again.Now I was mad.Whoever this was was getting on my damn nerves I blew up.

"JUST FUCKEN GO AWAY MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUISNESS AND IF YO NEED TO SHIT THAT BAD THEN DO IT OUTSIDE!"I yelled.I looked at the mirror and I was red.I bet now people were crowding around so I had to get out of there.I looked around and walked quickly over to the cabnet.I let go of the towel for a second while I opened the cabnet.I looked at my wrist and I could see the blood almot comming out.I saw a first aid kit and as quickly as I could got some goze and tape and put it over my cut.My bra-like top had long bell sleaves so you couldn't tell.As I examined the room I made sure that there was no blood anywhere."Shit!"I hissed as I dashed for the razor.I threw it in the trashcan and then checked myself in the mirror one more time.I looked fucked up but whatever everyone already knew I was high or drunk so I had an excuse.When I opened the door I was shocked to see ...Emma?

"Em?"I asked making sure it wasn't a halucination.I looked at her and she gave me a weird look.

"Yeah Manny I saw that on the table are you drunk or high?"She asked me while pulling my arm.

"Well actually.."I said as she dragged me she then took us into a closet."Both.And why in the hell are we ina closet are you comming on to me?"

**Normal POV**

"Manny!How could you?Also no i'm not comming on to you this is the only private place in the house."Emma said as she pulled the light switch.

When the lights went on and they saw a couple trying to be quiet.Emma and Manny just looked at each other and they rushed out of the closet.

"Look it's a party..."Manny began as they rushed out.Emma then faced her.She had a -are-you-stupid look.

"Manny that can damage your brain cells and even worse,"Emma struggled to say the last part,"..die.."

Manny rollled her eyes and laughed."Emma,"She began."You sound like a mother,look nothing bad is gonna happen to me okay just stay out of it and leave the brain cells to me,so go get a beer a guy and have a good time looosen up."

Emma stared at her with unbeliveable eyes."I can't belive you."She then walked away but sopped and turned back to face a confused Manny,"Look our door is always open when your sane again then we'll talk and maybe you'll come to your senses."With that Emma went downstairs.Once again leaving Manny alone upstairs.

She just stood and looked aorund."Craig..."Manny whispered as she closed her eyes."Wish you were here..."

Manny then slowly walked towards the steps and looked down.She put her hand on the rail to go downstairs.As Manny looked at the party she then calmed down but wasn't tired.The meth was working indeed.She rubbed her eyes with her hands hoping that it would make her just an ounce of sleepy...didn't work.As she walked odwnstairs she wanted to see Craig she wanted him to say that it was okay.She just went downstairs and a guy came from behind her and hugged her."Get off!"Manny screamed as she pushed him off her.She turned around and the guy looked mad.

"What I thought you were easy..."He laughed.Manny was so shocked.She then slapped him right across the face as hard as she could.Tears ran down her facre as she ran back outside.Manny's feet were echoed by the splashes under her feet.It had stopped raining and the sky was pure black.Goosebumps were re entering Manny's body as the harsh cold wind whipped against her skin.She then took out her cell phone and called Marisa.

As the phone was ringing Manny walked around the cold streets.She got startled as a cat ran by.Manny then saw the all famous alley.She walked thorugh it and saw the same tagging and them same dirty walls that her and Craig had sharred their first moment that went beyond Friendship.That was really thier only moment and asgain the person who manny was trying to call had ruined it.The time they kissed because Manny was high and drunk,not because of a love moment.She truely and deeply wanted a moment like that she really did her love life was like a fairy tale but instead of happy endings there were sad depressing and awful endings and instead of a princess there was a school slut and instead of a prince there was a hot,bi-polar,confused guy.The plot was on and off all the time.Sometimes there was no story and just the sad awful depressing endings with the two characters.Manny then reached the ugly couch.It was actually comfortable to her suprise.She then layed down on the ouch her body freezing she clutched her body together..and breathed in the cold.Marisa's cell then finally answered.

"Hey!This is Marisa's cell well you know that since you called me and if you didn't then your a dumbass and if your hot then leave your number well I better end this cause I have to go I have a life well love ya and remember leave your number and if I don't call you back then your a loser!"Marisa's answering machine..

BEEP

"Hey Marisa this is Manny where are you?Well i'm all fucked upon this couch in the alley well come get me I'm alone...bye."Manny whispered.She didn't want to use all her energy since it was cold.She looked at her cell and it was already 1:59am.Manny then tried again to go to sleep but no use the posion was already inside her body floating in her blood.

* * *

**Morning...**

It was friday and it was a minimum day which meant they got out of school at eleven most students didn't show up.Manny hadn't slept at all.Her eyes were red and puffy bag were under eyes.She looked dead.Manny got up and went to her house.It was like a twister came and then after that an earthquack followe dby a party thrown by all the teens in the world ..wait put all that together and not even half of that could equal her house.there were some people past out on her floor all the house smelled like beer,drugs and sex.

"Just perfect..."Manny thought.She then stepped over people and made her way to the stairs.She felt the rail and remembered memories.Now her house had bad memoires not only Emma's room.She made her way upstairs and went into her bedroom.There was a couple asleep on the floor half naked.

"Hey!Get up and get out!"Manny shouted.As soon as she barked those words they immeditatly stood up and ran out grabbing whatever clothes they could.

"Arghh!"manny yelled as she slammed her body into her bed.She looked at the clock it was seven thirty.She just got a mini sweater and just put it on with no shirt under just a bra.She put some jeans that were a little baggy and put her hair in a messy pony tail.Manny got some whatever shoes andput eye shadow to cover up the bags which didn;t help her eyes were still red and her face still looked jacked up.She left her hoop earings on and left her house.As she was walking she saw the corner of her street near Emma's house.She remembered just a couple of days ago...

_"Hot outfit."Emma said._

_Manny turned around and posed."I know,just kidding thanks and you look cool and casual."_

_"Thanks."Emma smiled._

_"So are we going to meet J.T?"Manny asked._

The memory faded.As well as her trying to gain a good reputation.She was doomed to forever be a screw up.Why did she ever had to change her look in the first place she was fine before she had her ups and downs but mostly ups and now she had mostly dowsn and if it was an up it made her whole month.

As Manny was thinking over her gloomy thoughts Emma saw her and ran towards Manny.

**Emma POV**

As I walked over my house I saw Manny. I was worried about her since last night I almost couldn't sleep.She was my best friend and I knew as a fact now that Marisa was messing up her life.I couldn't let that happen!I saw her and her outfit.It was alrigfht but she didn;t look happy.She looked dead she wasn't happy at all.Manny was always known,even when she was a slut, as she be sweet happy and hot Manny now she was dead.Popular amoung most of the druggie ballars and that crowd which made up of 1/3 of the school buit the rest either didn't care or now considered her as a dangerous bad girl.That's what was hurting me the most first I lost Sean,the guy I loved the one who saved my life ,to a bad crowd and now I was loosing Manny to this crowd.

I ran up to her and tapped her shoulder.

She jumped up and turned around.The first thing I noticed is that she was scared,terrified,I didn't know why but I could see it in her eyes.She looked messed up even more up close.

"Emma you scared me."She told me while feeling her heart.

"Sorry.."I said as I tried not to stare."Are you okay?"She then turned to the left as if looking for something.Then all of a sudden snapped her heads towards me."Yeah i'm fine."

"Bull."I responded to her obvious lie.She seemed to have known that I knew something was up because she looked shocked not even that made.

"Excuse me?"She asked putting her hands at her hips.I folded my arms and was prepared for a battle.I knew she was going to try to convince me nothing was wrong but I knew there was something I wanted to find out.

"You heard Manny since when do you do drugs I though you were better than that!"I snapped at her.She blinked her eyes at this.She then lowered her arms from her hips.Giving me a deep sigh.Then her confused scared look turned into a fake angry look.

"Well I guess you guessed wrong."She said coldly to me.She was admiting to me in her way that something was wrong.

"Manny your my best friend I want to know what's going on with you and in the past few days I havenn't seen you eat once bit!"I yelled at her.I was so upset that I couldn't do anything.The question that ever since that phone call the other day she has been acting...rebellious,crazy,wild..you get it.I put my hand on my forhead and moved it back along with my bangs.

"Emma shut up with the eating thing okay so don't worry about me all you need to do is make a reality step out of people's buisness and with the money you have buy a life since you can't have on of your own."She snapped.She looked as if she was ready for another commback from me.But I knew she wanted to left alone she wanted me to leave and if I were to find out what was wrong I knew that I had to fight but in a mentally way instead of physical.When I didn't say anything she looked scared again like a lost and confused little girl.I then took a step closer to her and she eyed my every step and her first grew tighter.

"Sorry can't afford one,look i'm going to get to the bottom of this Manny and you aren't gonna get rid of me that fast.Just calm down and tell me the ohone call what was it?"I asked.Her scared face then turned into a sad one as she folded her arms as well.

"I'm not ready to say.."Manny whispered.I the went closer to her and hugged her.She the hugged me back.

"It's alright..tell me whenever you want.."I whispered to her in her ear.I felt the coldness of her body against my warm body which sent goosebumps up my spine.She then withdrew from our unusual hug.

"So do you know what happened to Craig?"Manny then asked as me and her bagn walking towards Degrassi.

The truth is I kinda did.But I wasn't ready to tell her.But I might as well...

"Well you see when you ran away from him.."

_**Last Night...**_

_"Manny it's the truth!"Craig shouted as he got Manny's shoulder and turned her aorund._

_"I'm gonna leave you alone."Manny said as she turned and walked away from him._

_"Your not being fair!"Craig yelled after Manny as tears went down her face._

_Manny then faced him._

_"Craig we're nto even together and i'm already crying over you..again!"Manny yelled.She then turned around and stumbled.Some guy then thren got her as she fell._

_"Looks like i'm getting lucky tonight!"He laughed.Manny was groggy Craig then went to them._

_"Hey leave her the hell alone!"Craig shouted pushing the guy.Manny then stood up._

_"What's going on?"Manny asked confused.Craig then got Manny and gently looked into her eyes._

_"Are you okay?"Craig asked.Manny then had anger in her eyes._

_"Leave me alone."Manny whinned.Then Craig felt a bolt of pain hit his side and he bent down grabbed his side and winced in pain._

_"Arggh!"_

_Manny then looked shocked."Craig!"Manny screamed.She then bent down with him and looked at him._

_Craig looked up and saw the guy that got Manny.He stood up and socked the guy in the face.The guy fell back clutching his face and by this time people were noticing and forming a circle.._

_Craig then looked at Manny to make sure she was okay.She smiled at him._

_"Craig you are soo hott."Manny slurred.Craig's smile then turned into a frown.He knew she was drunk and he knew that what she was saying wasn't really her._

_Then the guy jumped him and started socking him.Manny was pushed into the crowd.As Craig and the guys started fighting._

"Who won?"Manny asked me while shaking me on my shouldersI pushed her off and she calmly went back as she noticed that she was kinda making me dizzy.I smoothened my hair and looked in her worried eyes.

"Craig..."I said slowly.I wasn't ready to tell her the bad news.Her face filled with excitment.

"Really!Oh I knew he would!"Manny giggled as she gave a little jump.I then took a deep breath and started walking she was calmed down and still excited from everything.I just hope that Manny didn't see..

"Craig!"Manny shouted.She lifted up her hands to call him and when I saw her arm I saw a bandage with blood seeping through._What happened?_

"Uh Manny!"I interupted as I litterally pulled her back.She then got her balance back and starred at me.

"What Emma?"She asked angry and un patient as she began tapping her foot against the cracked pavement.

"Well you might not want to talk to him."I said refering to whathappened last night.

"I just wanna tell him thank you and-"

I interupted her rudely but she couldn't talk to him."Just trust me..."

**Manny POV**

_Why was Emma acting weird did she know something that I didn't know or what?All I knew is that I needed to thank Craig I mean yesterday was a total blur.._

"Alright."I lied as I gave her one of my fake smiles.I give so many of those sometimes I wonder what's my real smile?

Then me and Emma started walking together when I had an idea.

"Hey Emma."I began trying to hide my grin.She looked at me with curiosity.

"What?"She asked me with suspiscion.

"Um how come you don't say hi to Craig?"I asked.While looking at the floor.

"I do.."Emma said then she stopped."Look i'm not stupid you want me to say hi to Craig for you can say hi i'm not stupid."Emma said looking at me as in questioning me to see if I really thought she was that stupid._Ohh..Emma she's falling into my plan soo perfectly she is so predictable.Well not always but in this case._

"Emma Please." I begged as I dropped to the floor.

She looked at me and picked me up."Manny no."Emma said iritable.

"Please Em..I'll tell you what happened..."I said with a mysterious smile.We began walking closer and our walk became faster.

"Manny no!"Emma said a little louder as she was getting angry.

"Emma!"I begged as I grabbed on to her shirt she then pushed me off her but not hard.

"Manny I said no what part don't you get!"Emma yelled facing me while throwing her hands into the air._Plan a success..._

Craig had turned and had noticed both me and Emma.She then saw the satisfiing smile across my face and she finally figued it out.

"Boy you good."She mummbled to me as I jogged over to where Craig was.He then turned around as soon as he saw me.

_What?Why did he turn aorund?_

I then shrugged it off with one of my smile's and tapped his shoulder like a little child asking someone for a favor."Hi Craig."

He still didn't turn around.He continued walking."Hey Manny.."He finally said still walking.I was walking with him trying to keep up his pace.I turned to Emma and she had the all famous I-told-you look she was keeping up but like five feet behind me.

"Um hey..how come your not turning around?"I asked with a little giggle which became a nervous chuckle when he didn't answer.

"Oh um i'm in a hurry I really gotta go bye Manny,Emma."He said as he made a sharp turn.

I stopped as I watched him run away from me.I tightened my fist so hard that I could feel the blood exit the slit on my wrist.

I turned to see Emma looked at me and gave me a smile.I then sighed.I heard Emm'a fottsteps as she placed her heand on my shoulder.I then turned to her and hugged her.I don't kno wwhy I hugged her but she hugged back maybe it was a combination from yesterday.

"Craig hates me.."I whispered_.I knew the truth my heart was broken once again...but this time it was my own choice.I don't even know why my heart was broken we weren't even together...I hated wanting him.I hated this feeling but without I couldn't love which was the most important thing to me in the world._

"No he doesn't."Emma whispered back to me.I tightened my hug with her I knew that she knew something I didn't know but I couldn't figure out what...

* * *

**At School...**

"37-7-54?"I asked myself as I tried to open my locker.It was annoying me I was gonna be late to Miss.H's class and I coul;dn't afford to be late maybe I could catch up or something.As I turned to locker numbers it opened.

"Finally!"I shouted with a laugh.As soon as I opened my locker a bunch of paper's fell out of my locker.A few people looked and stopped to see what was gong on.I wasn't even sure.I pulled a stand from in front of my face behind my ear and bent down.All the papers were crumpled.I then got one and uncrumpled it and what it said made me so angry yet said: **Slut!**

I then crumpled it back up and got another one.It said:**Druggie**

_What the hell?What was going on?Who wrote this?Who would?My heart started beating faster and faster until I felt it would pop out._

The last one made me white as snow:**cutter**

_Who in the fuck was this?How could they have known!_

"Who in the fuck did this!"I yelled looiing around picking up the papers.Some whispered others walked away but most stared.

I then heard footsteps from my red ears."Well who the fuck had the fucking balls to do this!"

It was Marisa.She had her hair down and a tube top with low riders.

"Ooohh looks like someon hates you."Marisa laughed while leaning aginst my locker.

I stared at her.Was she the one who did this?

"You seem a little too care free.."I said coldly whlel picking up the rest of the cumpled papers.

She then bent down with a smile and helped me pick a few up.

'It's not that..."She sighed as she put some in her bag."I've seen worse."

I bet she had I mean she had a rep.I stood up and smiled feeling dumb I acused her.

"But I think I know who..."Marisa whispered in my ear.I then stepped closer until I felt her icy breathe enter my ear."That chick Liberty."

It all became clear to me.Of course it was her but then again how could I be sure I needed cold hard facts.I loved marisa but sometimes I couldnt trust her.

I really couldn't.I stared into her eyes.They were like a cold thunder storm in her eyes hidden by a fake smile.

I looked at her and said,"I don't know i'll find out."I mumbled as I took one last look at the notes at my feet.I picked up one and just stared at the letters CUTTER.

My emotions were mixed up.I started to try to fix my sweater to look half decent.Marisa's eyes then buldged out.

"What!"I asked alarmed as I got up.She then looked at me as if she knew something that I didn't.

"Nothing..just I gotta go to class."Marisa said as she placed her hand on my shoulder.She smiled and then pulled me towards her body.Then Marisa embraced me in a hug.Then whispered in my ear.

"Love you..."I smiled.I haven't herd those words in a long time.It felt weird how I could appreciate thoses words from Marisa.I mean I knew she said that to almost anyone but I hated feeling so special that when she told me that I truely felt like someone loved me.I hate that about myself that I need to feel loved or I feel unwanted in this big ol world.

I smiled.I din't love her so why did I have to say it.She looked at me as if waiting for my reply when I quickly said."Aren't you gonna be late?

She then gave me a fake smile.Thsi was the first time I felt as if things were wrong so I played it cool and leaned against the locker.

She tilted her head with a grin."Actually I am.."She said as she walked away.Then I turned and started walking.

"I heard what happened."A unfamilular voice said to me while I was walking to my next class.I quickly turned around and to my delight I saw J.T.

He must've noticed my smile because he smiled too.I walked up to him and without hesitation gave him a huge hug.His smile then faded when he saw the way I looked.I looked alright in my eyes but in everyone elses no.I guess Marisa hadn't made a big deal out of it since she had probably seen worse who knew?

"What?"I asked with a grin while I pulled back from the hug,

"Are you okay?"J.T asked me while looking around.I worried face crpet acorss mine.I shook my head and smiled.

"I really don't know what your talking about i'm fine."I lied.I swear if lying were a crime I would already be executed."It's just the whole mess I really need to cool off."

"Oh alright well don't worry i'll try to help you find whoever did this..."J.T said while examining every student that walked by with his eyes.

That made me laugh,"Thanks...really your such a great friend."I then put my hand on his shoulder.He then looked at it as if it were poison.I became alert of this and quickly let go.

"Well I just want to know how they knew that's all."I said while walking on the left ide of him.He smiled again and streched.

"Yeah well in this world there's a lot of fucked up people..."J.T's voice then trailed off as he started at someone.I looked at him and his face and my eyes focused on what he was staring so intensly at.My mouth litterally dropped and I thought someone punched the breath out of me.

Marisa was making out with Giovani and they were holding hands.I couldn't belive this!When I hang with her at lunch I was gonna see him!Then my stomach began to ache.I felt my stomach with my right hand and with my left I placed it aginst the locker.

"Are you okay!"J.T asked me alert as he was helping me up.I got my hair and fixed it into a pony tail it was more fucked up but now I could give a rat's ass.

"Yeah i'm fine it's just I wasn't expecting that..."My voice trailed off as well.

_He then unzipped my pants and pulled them down.Then he pulled my thongs down by this time my eyes were tearing and I tried to bite his hand but couldn't.My body was shaking.I felt so scarred I couldn't belive this._

I then flinched and pulled back so hard that I fell on the floor and the whole hallway saw even Marisa and Giovani.I gulped and got up and started running to the only place I knew I wouldn't be found.

"Manny!"J.T called after me but I didn't turn.I the ran out of the school and towards the alley nobody knew about the alley except Marisa but you didn't dare go after me.My breath started to become short and finally I was at the begging of the alley.My breath seemed to be all the sounds that the alley consumed of.I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

* * *

Slowly I walked into the alley and looked at the walls.All dirty but yet that brought back a memory...

_"Manny don't say that look people make mistakes and the one your dad made is huge one day he will snap back to his senses and realize how dumb was he to leave a beautiful wife with a even more beautiful daughter."Craig smiled._

_Manny then felt a little better.Somehow Craig could do that.He could make her life feel a lot better and make her feel sane whole and complete._

_"Thanks Craig.."Manny smiled._

_"No problem."Craig replied._

_She then noticed how close they were.She knew what was comming.Manny then saw Craig's eyes close which meant the kiss was comming any second.She closed her eys and almost felt his lips when-_

I then washed that away from my memory at the time because I didn't want to remember the ending where Marisa came into the picture.I then traced gently with my finhgers the spot on the wall where Craig was before.For some reason maybe in my head filled with illusion or something the wall still felt warm at that spot rather than icy cold like all the other parts.I smiled and closed my eyes.But harsh reality leeked into my mind.I then took out the ciggarrettes and my lighter.I lit it and became to inhail the black smoke that I knew would soon poison my lungs.My mind was already poisionus might as well take the rest of my body.As I inhailed my eyes closed and I titled my head up and then I let the sweet cancer out.I soon began to feel better.I scooted up more aginst the wall.

About fifty kinuted passed by and I bet science was already over so I headed towards the school I had smoked about four.I checked my breath and I smeled like an ashtry so I just poped a gum into my mouth.I put my hands in my mini sweater pockets.I stepped into the schoo and saw that it was just students and no teachers...good.

I blended in with the crowd easily as I made my way towards my next class.I looked around at my surrounding while walking and noticed that there was only like three other kids but running to thier class.

"Any faster?"I asked with a smirk.They didn't pay attention.I kept the smirk on my face as I heard the all famous while i'm still in the hall

RRRRRIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG

Late.Again.

I just sighed and saw a poster that said:Good Luck IN America Jimmy!

Oh yeah I forgot that Jimmy was going to America tomorow morning.I had to go to that little party that Craig invited me to.Well maybe I shouldn't go I mean after all Craig and I weren't that close to say that.

* * *

**IN CLASS**

"So did you hear what happened at Manny's party?"J.T whispered to Liberty.Liberty then rolled her eyes.

"What did she screw a guy?"Liberty asked blankly.J.T sighed heavily as he took his hand out of hers.

"Libby come on..no she didn't or I don't know but she got all stoned I think."J.T whispered to her.I mean when he saw her she looked a mess.

"Well good once a whore now a stoner."Liberty whispered back.As she looked around to make sure Manny wasn't around.

"Look I would be happy if you didn't talk shit about her."J.T said annoyed.While trying to pretend that he was copying notes.J t turned to see Emma payingattention so he sighed in realife.

Emma then listened to the conversation.Emma then got her cell and went to phone Book and when she got to Manny she pressed text message.**Hey Manny Lib is talkin shit bout u.**Then she sent it.

HAlls

I was almost in class when I heard my phone buzzing.It was a text message but from who?Maybe Marisa but I don't think she was that stupid to do that.

I looked at my phone as it said :EmMa CeLl

"Wonder why..?"I thought aloud.I flipped my phone open and read the message.This just made my body boil.so it was ture that stupid bitch did that thing to my locker now I had the facts and I was angry.My breathing became faster as I tried to calm down.I reached for a smoke but I remembered I didn't want to get addicted so with all my might I focused back on the text.I then leaned aginst the lockers and began to write to Emma back.I pressed reply to message and began to type.It was soo on.

**i'm gonna fuck her up so bad!tell her 2 watch out!also aftr class meet me in the side alley im serious we're gonna get down!**

I remembered that there was an alley where Sean and Jimmy got into a fight four years ago.Amazing how I could remember that.I soon went into class and felt sixty six eyes on me.but I could give a rat's ass.

"Manny your late.."The teacher said.I then smiled.

"Yeah sorry.."I said really fake.The teacher must've noticed because she gave me a look but I sat down and as soon as I did Liberty looked at me real quick.

"She got my message."I whispered.Emma then looked at me and smiled.She then started texting and then my cell buzzed again I checked it and saw it was from Emma:

**I told her**

No wonder she looked like chicken shit.It was a weird and all be I that feeling of knowing that someone was afraid of me..little miss santos.I smiled and took out my notebook and wrote down two notes and got my cell phone.from there i pressed reply to Emma's text and began to write:

**Really wad she say cuz she looked lyke chicken shit**

I then sent it while looking around J.T looked at me and took out his cell phone.Great.I ran my hands threw my hair and sighed.I knew he ws giong to try to convince me to stop the fight.But in the state of mind I was in nothing was.I mean I was soo angry over the past feews days and all the shit that has been going through my mind.I wasn't gonna back down besides by the end of class I knew half the school would know.

Buzz buzz buzzz

I got my cell phone and I had two messages.I then whipered.

"Em!"

She the slightly turned but still faced towards the front so that she couldn't get introuble.

"What?"She whispered back in a hiss.

"Did you send me two messages?"I asked her.She then full turned her head and whispered back.

"No."Then focused her attention back to the front of the class.

Buzz buzz buzz

A third message?I decided to check them.I clicked of first message and it was from Emma.

**Well she just said whatever..but shes gonna fight ya**

Alright all I knew at that moment that Liberty in like a half hour would have her ass kicked.That made me giggle.I knew I shouldn't have been so mad at her as I should be but I guess I was taking it all out on her and most of me didn't mind.I then clicked on second Message:

It was from J.T:

**Manny I kno u wanna fight Lib but dont!Come on Manny u 2 r 4ends juss work it out rite back.**

I wasn't going to write back right away.I mean I was gonna fight her and I wanted to read the third message anyways before I responded to anything.I was so pumped but I hated that J.T always stuck up for her it annoyed the shit out of me.I then clicked on the third message it was from Darcy.Whoa whoah I haven't talked to Darcy and chantl in a couple of days.Well I guess they were too busy with what's his face so I opened it:

**Manny what the hell?I went to ur party which the whole school knew about besides ur girls.and i heard u were hangin around Marisa word on the street is u 2 r tight?i thought we were wats wrong wit ya?**

_I don't have time for Darcy.As harsh as it sounded i DIDN'T.I had other way more important things on my mind now._Liberty then passed a note to Darcy.Darcy started at it and slowly unfolded it.I kept my eyes on the note trying with all my might to read it but from where I was sitting it looked like light scribbles.Darcy's eyes then turned wide as she read the note.By the look on her face I guessed it.Liberty had told Darcy about me and her fighting.God why did she have to tell everybody.sh annoyed th crap out of me big time and I was more determined to kick her as even more.I then tried to breathe calmy and deicded to text back everyone.The first to Emma:

**Sry took long but i got text 4rm j.t and Darcy.J.t wants me to not fight Lib and Darc is mad bcuz i didnt invite her and chantel2 the party.and cuz of Marisa.**

I then sent it and Emma got started by her beep letting her know I text her back.She then yawned and sluggishly took out her green cell.She had changed the cover last weekend.I looked at her and she read the message and text right away.The teacher was sooo clueless all teachers were cluelessin thsi whole damn school at what the kids were doing.It was kind of funny actually.I deicded to write back J.T.

J.T really was hot if I was still a tramp I would with out a doubt go for him but he had Liberty and she didn't deserve him.I then actually thought about my thoughts lately.I haven't done that in a while.All my thoughts seemed less caring lately or darker.In a way I loved being a bad girl yet again I didn't.Iwas so confused sometimes I even questioned my exsistence like I wondered if I was really me sometimes I even refered myself as Manny not I or me.Me and J.T go wayy back as to get back to the subject.I met J.T because our parents were like friends.I knew him before Emma.I thought when we got together that we were meant to be.Yet I also thought me and Craig were meant to be.I got on J.T's message and clicked reply.

**2 bad J.t and we r 4nds**

Sent.I then thought about Darcy I wasn't gonna waste my time besides Emma had sent me another one and I read it.

**well J.T is rite dont fight her and bsides Marisa is bad news dont hang wit her!ur my bff i dont wanna c ya get hurt**

_What?The?Fck?Was Emma not a greeing with me?How could she not want me to fight Liberty?I mean what was wrong with everyone?_

**RRIIIINNNNGGGG**

* * *

Too late my mind was made up I rushed out of class and I could hear whispers followed.The poeple started to make it more bovious by following me.I then saw Paige and she caught up to me with a worried glance she took her right arm swung me around and made me face her green eyes.

"I heard.."She began as she put her hands on my hips."Everyone heard.."

"What?"I asked while looking at her eyes."What did they hear?"

She rolled her eyes.Thats her famous thing the eye rolling thing I wondered if I had something like that."The fight,that you are gonna fight Liberty."

I then smiled and made a little laugh."Oh that.."I then felt my hair."Yeah right now as soon as we finish talking."

"Well look,I don't like Liberty either but like if you fight her what if you get suspended I need you in the cheer squad hello I need you on the sqad."Piage said a little worried.

"I won't get caught."I told Paige.She gave me an uneasy look.

"Alright i'll watch."Paige said heading outside.

I smiled.Marisa then came running and stood in front of me as she caught her breath.I was still mad at her for what she did but hey whatver we were both backstabbers.

"Wow I can't belive your gonna fight her!"Marisa said with a laugh.

"Wel I am.."I said I really wanted her to leave me alone because she was getting out of my focus.

"Well i'll be cheeering for you!"Marisa said as she ran past me and out of the doors.I walked slowly and walked out the Degrassi school.I kept thinking just sock her right in the fce and then it'll be over way over.

As I made my way into the alley there was a bunch of people there.I mean a lot for some reason I became nervous then.As I slowly walked into the circle.

Liberty was there and so was J.T.

"Manny you can't fight!"J.T pleaded.I lgiggled a little.

"J.T stay out of this!"Liberty shouted at J.T.

Woah Woah.I thougth this was gonna be sad and good.

"You know what Liberty fuck this!I tried to save you from getting your ass kicked but you deserve maybe,maybe she'll knock some sense into you."J.t said as he stormed out of the circle.

"J.T!"Liberty called after.I could so tell she wanted to cry but hey she couldnt or else I would win for sure.

I looked as J.T left with sympathetic eyes.I the focused my attention back to Liberty.

"Hurry before somebody comes."A guy shouted from the crowd.

I turned to see who said that when Liberty sucker punched me.I felt my chin and made sure nothing was bloody.

"Oh hell nah."I said as I charged towards her and began to sock her nasty.She tried to block but one blow came after another.I was making direct shots exactly where I wanted.She finally kicked my knee which made me fall back.

"Ohhhh!"The crowd was shouting.As I quickly got up I saw Marisa cheering for me.I then got back up quick and Liberty was bearly getting up.

* * *

Craig was strumming his guitar In Music class while Marco and Jimmy looked over the lyrics.

"Everytime your near me I-,"Marco then looked up at Craig.Craig looked up as well to see what was wrong.Craig had his curlish hair obver his eyes and had his black sunglasses on.

"What?"Craig asked adding a chuckle after.Jimmy then looked up at this time.

"Well the lyrics..."Marco began as he showed Jimmy.Jimmy took them and began reading them.

"What about the lyrics?"Craig asked while putting down his guitar.Marco sighed and got up from his seat and went next to Jimmy while Jimmy was rreading them.

"You never finish anything it's like-"Marco was about to finish when Craig quickly jumped up and interupted him.

"I guess I don't have inspirtation..."Craig sighed.Jimmy then got his pen and begin to scratch things out.

"Yeah dude just write abou someting that's happening to you now."Jimmy said eyeing him.Craig then gave Jimmy a confused look when they heard footsteps running fast.A ninth grader then stuck his head into the music room they were in.

"There's a fight!"

This caught all thier attenion asd Marco wheeled JImmy out fast and Craig ran ahead of them.

* * *

I then got on top of Liberty and began punching her nasty.Liberty then pulled mypony tail which caused myhead to turn back.It hurted like hell.I felt like my head and neck were being ripped off.I got soo mad fury boiled in my vein and that's when Liberty slapped me.I was so full of shock and ager I can't belive that she actually had a chance.I decided ti make her weak.With the wind slapping against my weak red cheek the pain began to sting.I then socked her stomach and Liberty let out an _oofffFot the next three seconds she would be vulnerable so I decided to take advantage._

Liberty then was about to grab my earings when I punched her so hard it almost freaked me out.I felt actual pain from the sock.Liberty stupidly still had her glasses on when I took them off and stomped on them crushing them.

"Slut!"She yelled at me and she charged at me.I then almost didn't made it as I turned and grabbed her hair and swung her and she slid right on the cement.

"Fucken bitch."I said.Liberty had fire in her eyes.Threy were litterally filled with anger and despise.She charged at me and I was prepared when somebody got inbetween us.I tried to get to Liberty and she tried to get at me but the person who was inbetween us was stong and gently pushed us back.

"Hey hey stop you guys!"

I reconized the voice..Craig!

I looked at him and couldn't tell if he was looking at me because he had sunglasses on.The crowd then booed and some left fearing of teacher's comming.All I know is Marisa looked at me and gave me the thumbs up.and mouthed."You won!"She then went with Giovani and her other friends.

Liberty then stormed off and Craig was looking around to see who was still there.I was just standing there and Jimmy and Marco were at the end obviously waiting for Craig.After two minutes everyone was gone except us four.I looked at Craig and I felt so nervous.As I gazed up at him I deiced to say somehting stupid.

"Looks like we both got into fights.."I said,Craig looked at me so i decided to continue"Emma told me totally blanked out but you foght for me and I never got to say thank you.I mean for everything and I also wanted to apologize you were right I might've been high but when you said about me and you and how you dind't want to get together,you were right I just wanted to be friends and I didn't know how to accept that..but now I guess I am ready to accept it,it's just too hard."I said in a whisper.He then looked at me and looked up.

"Your welcome you know I would always protect you..and I accept your appology.We're teenageres we're all confused.But why is it so hard?"Craig asked.

"Because I think I really like you.."I said while looking at him.I then saw at his face but I couldn't see his eyss.So I got his sunglasses and took them off him.He flinched but for some reason let me.I was shocked what I saw he had a black eye and it looked nasty.

"Oh Craig."I whispered as I felt his cheek.He then got his clammy hand and got mine.

"Manny not now I just want a friendship.."Craig said.He then kinda smiled and then continued."I'll always protect you okay.."He then looked into my eyes and I looked into his.I was soo in love with him.I realized that right thgen because he was my first everything.My first kiss,my first date,my first time,my first to have an affair with,the first to say I love you,and the same for me,the first to break my heart and the first to pick up the pieces.

I couldn't help in I tip toed and gave him a peck on the lips.It was short but sweet and I smiled at him.He didn't exactly smile he had a look of confusion.

"Sorry."I said to him and he then fixed my hair and smiled.

"It's alright.."He said.

* * *

JImmy's Party

Jimmy and Craig were sitting on the couch as everyone fought over which movie to see.

"dude you've been quiet since last weeks party.."Jimmy began."I don't know about you but I had a great time.."

"It's just Manny she's loosing control.."Craig said softly.

"What do you mean?"Jimmy asked.

"She's really loosing control of who she is..and Marisa isn't helping her either."Craig said.

" I know what you mean but what could we do?"Jimmy asked.

"It's really what I could do..I mean she likes me right i mean you heard her.."Craig said.

"Yeah and your point?"Jimmy asked as he took a sip of soda.

"Well what if I get with her and maybe that wil lead her away from Marisa?"Craig said as his eyss became wide with excitment.

"Um dude wrong for two reasons one that sucks pretending that you love her that way and what if the plan doesn't work?and two it could backfre on you."Jimmy said as he gave a wink at Hazel.

"Backfire?"Craig asked with curiosity.

"What if you fall for her?"Jimmy asked.

"I mean I don't know I just want to ge herout of hell.."Craig said softy.

Paige's phone then rang"Oh my god what happened?"She stood there listening.Tears then came down her eyes.

"Alright thank you.."Paige cried.

"What happened Paige?"Hazel asked.As she felt her best friends shoulders.

"Nothing can we continue the party?"Paige asked.

"Are you sure?"Jimmy asked.Paige nodded and smiled.

The Next day everyone went to the air port to wish Jimmy good luck.Some people he didn't even know were there.

"Bye Jimmy!"Hazle cried as she threw her arms around him.Jimmy then let out a couple of tears as he got Hazel and took her to a corner.

"Hazel i'm real scared.I mean what if it doesn't work.You don't know how it feels to realize you'll never walk again and maybe their might be hope for me..I mean I have to take some classes again next year but really...I want to continue my basketball carrer I always took things for granted and I don't know what to do..What if it really doesnt work out then it's another false hope for me.ON top of that i'll loose two months of school..Hazle I love you more than anything and i'm real scared yet so happy it's like the biggest adventure i'm ever gonna take on my life I just need to knwo are you gonna be there for me?"Jimmy cried.

Hazel was crying so much her make up was smaered she got him a gave him a big hug.

"JimmY I love you and will always wait for you.."Hazel whispered into his ear.He smiled and hugged her back.

"I love you..."Jimmy said.Hazle whispered the same back.Then they came back from thier corner and Jimmy said goodbye to everybody.

"Good luck man.."Craig said.

"Yeah thank Craig..uh listen call my cell okay keep in touch and tell Marco the same..well I better get going the next time you'll see me i'll be walking."Jimmy said with a little laugh.

"Alright bye."Craig said giving him a hug.His parents were waving as he wheeled himself into the airplane.He looked at all of his friends and Family.

"God be with me.."Jimmy whispere dot himself as he went into the plane.Others watched in awe as the plane flew away.

"He'll be okay."manny whisepred to Emma.

"Yeah I know he will."Emma said as she watched the plane go.

* * *

**A WEEK LATER...**

"I'm so glad that you don't care about pain..it doean't affect you maybe after we hit Mario's we can get tattoo's."Marisa suggested.

"Well I don't feel it it's like i'm numb.."Manny began.She then rolled on her side to face Marisa.

"I know somehting that will make you feel even more numb you'll love it."Marisa began as she reached for her bag.

Manny sat up,"What is it?"She asked.

marisa pulled out a spraycan and in marker it read **NOS**

"Nos?"Manny asked.While holding the can.

"The thing to make the car go faster,it also can make the room spin fatser..."Marisa began.She then looked at Manny.

"Well take it."

Manny looked at the can with curiosity."How do I-do I put it in my mouth and spray?"

Marisa nodded.

Manny put it in her mouth and began laughing.Marisa then did the same soon enough the two were high.

_Over the last week. not much has happened.Craig and Manny were friends but every now and then Manny had thoughts about Craig and they flashed each other's smiles in the hall.Paige had been upset and Hazel has been talking to Jimmy as much as she could.Emma was into her computer sometimes when Manny would call Emma would always be talking to someone._

Marisa then got Manny's hand and picked dher up.They were at the park and Manny could bearly stand.

"Where are we going?"Manny asked.

"Selling.."Marisa said.

"What are you talking about-"

manny the felt someone grab her from behind anf she looked at Marisa s they grabbed her too.

"Hey what the-"Manny then was shut up as she felt a gun to her head.

"Shut the fuck up."They yelled at her.

* * *

**My fingers hurt like F#.I am so sorry it took soo long to update you know school and all plus this was a **

**long chapter.alright I will e-mail a few this chpater ahead of time and I hope you guys liked this.**

**But instead of that i will emial you guys the next chapter and will tell ya whats up with Paige.**

**SO Oh wait another cliff hanger!Thats soo cool!Sorry u guys I bearly realized that.**

**Okay so u all know Craigs Plan will he go through with it?Do you think he should?**

**Oh and the fight scene what did ya think?O I hope u gusy the whole Jimmy hazel thing was it sad?**

**I thougth it was kinda sad but a happy moment and i dont know if I really captured the moment right.**

**Well thank u guys soo much for supporting me and trust me this is going to be a very long story!**

**I think I will try to make it 10-15 chapter cuz if u guys remember the trip to califorinia and im taking the whole cranny thing slow.**

**sorry but I have to be a little realastic. well I think whoever reviews gets some homemade(not burned)cookies!**

**So thank you please review and as always your sneek peeks!its gonna be only two but they are long!**

"I am not addicted I am not addicted..."I kept repeating to myself.I was alone in my house and my arm was full of scars..

I looked and to me it seemed nomal I guess that how much insanity is in my head.I took a deep breath and sighed.I got the drug and began to snort it in my nose.My drink wa snext to me and I took a huge drink.I closed my eyes..I've hit rock bottom.I then heard the door knock.I knew who it was.Hustler.he usually came for his drugs or to give me some.I slugishly got up and answered the door.He stood there and came inside.

"Hey Sexy."He told me as he came with a bag.

"You have my goods?"He asked me.I then gave him his bag and he smiled as he looked inside.

"You have mine?"I asked him.

"Yeah but this time to get them you have to do something for me.."He said with a grin as he sat down on my couch.

"What?"I asked him.He then patted his lap with his legs open.

"Sit down."He told me.I then went and sat on his lap.He bgean to feel my back and my legs.I hated that it always got me flashbacks yet I wanted the attention.

He then pulled me down and began to kiss me.I then kissed him back as he stuck hsi tounge in my nouth I could tase the liquor which made me want more.He then got on top of me and started to kiss my neck.He then stopped.I got up and so did he.

"I actually came to tell you some bad news.."

XXX

Why was Piage there.She was sitting with blank eyes.I then walked over to her and she bearly noticed me as I sat down.

"Paige?"I asked she looked at me with her big red eyes.

"Yeah?"She asked.

"What's wrong why are you here?"I asked her.

"I'll feel better if you tell me first.."She said .Then a wave of emotions hit me.I then took a heavy sigh.

"My dad.."I whispered.She leaned in closer.

"What?"She asked me.

"MY Dad!"I said much louder.She got starteled and backed away.

"What happened?"She asked with caution.

"He's dying."I said as tears came into my eyes."I jsut met his other family that he cheate on my mom with..they had no idea.."

Then I was crying Paige grabbed me in a huge hug.

"Manny i'm so sorry!"She said full of symapthy but I didn't nee dthat I needed a new life where I could be free as a bird.

"What happened with you?"I asked rubbing my teary eyes.


	6. Tourniquet

**HI YOu GuysI just want to say and mean this Thank you thank you I am so glad I I know I know the last chappy was soooo Looong and took me forever to update but if u read all my chappy's you guys know that the chapters are verfy long and it takes forver to write and also I have school **

**and everything so I can only type the story like twice a week.So yeah.Also I will reveal in this chapter what the deal with Paige is and this is going to be one of my best chapters yet!And if it isn't then...it isn't..i guess BUT I hope you guys like this and think it's very good.**

**I think you guys have notcied how slowly Marisa is using Manny in this story.Little by little so becomes more hypocritical so her**

**and well basically a back stabber and you will see that in this chapter.but in the girl world sadly that's a friend.**

**You will also see more of the drug world manny get's herself into and the lack of use for her body.Also I didnt have enough room for the person comming into Degrassi but trust me it will be interesting...Also if u got confused with the sneek peeks the character Hustler is not going to be in any other scene jus that one because I dont like adding new characters.Alright I will Add more Emma,Jimmy,Paige,Ashley,J.T and Ellie and Marco promise or will try to but no on second thought promise.Also an unlikely character will help manny also!**

**So I really hope you guys will like this chapter I really do and please review they mean a lot to me without them I wouldnt continue...well maybe I would but still it really helps and for u guys who have been reviewin trust me ull be rewarded and flufymello ur so welcome!and thanks for clearing that up for me! ;)**

**Anywayz on with the story!**

Summary:Manny finally got her life back together,friends with Craig even..but when a new girl comes will she

take her back to the life that she just recovered?Or even worse?Ashley comes back from London..and not sure of the relationship

rated:pg-13 for violence,drug use,breif sex,language,situations involving teens

Disclaimer:I do not own Degrassi

warnings:in future chapters there may be a scene not meant for younger audience which i will change the ratings

a/n:even if i dont get that much reviews i will continue to update I really fell in love with the plot and

i think this teaches us a lesson to always choose the right friends and learn to say no.

**READ THIS!** I am going to make another fan fic on love movies& Cranny now should it be,Moulin Rouge(the girl is missunderstood and the guy is so damn hot and musically talented!),Titanic(um it's a great and sad love story),Swan Princess(i dunno why I put this..)Aladdin(because the guy is an oprhan and well yeah),Grease(the all famous one) LET ME KNOW!

Fun Fact about me:I write the sneek peeks before I write the story to motivate me to get to that spot!So if i dont add sneek peeks that why cause I write them before i write the actual story!

* * *

_"I tried to kill the pain but only brought more I lay dying And i'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming Am I too lost to be saved?Am I too Lost?_

_My God my tourniquet return me to salvation My god my tourniquet return me to salvation._

_Do you remember me Lost for so long Will you be on the other side Or will you forget me? i'm dying praying bleeding and screaming Am I too lost to be saved Am I too lost?_

_My god my tourniquet return me to salvation My god my tourniquet return me to salvation_

_My wounds cry for the grave My sould cried for deliverance Will I be denied Christ Tourniquet...my suicide..."-Tourniquet;Evanescence_

_

* * *

_

_Last time in Temptation..._

_Marisa then got Manny's hand and picked her up.They were at the park and Manny could bearly stand._

_"Where are we going?"Manny asked._

_"Selling.."Marisa said._

_"What are you talking about-"_

_manny the felt someone grab her from behind anf she looked at Marisa s they grabbed her too._

_"Hey what the-"Manny then was shut up as she felt a gun to her head._

_"Shut the fuck up."They yelled at her._

* * *

**Chapter 6**:**Tourniquet**

Manny's heart was beating so fast in began to hurt her chest the pain inceased as she felt the tip of the gun trace her head.She closed her eyes and then heard laughing.

"Very funny Hustler..."Marisa laughed.She had a care free expression even hough she had a gun to her head.

The guy then let go of Manny as she felt her sore arms from being held so tight.

"Marisa what's going on?"Manny asked confused and scared.She walked close to Marisa because she had an idea of what was going on.There were two guys and they seemed to be laughing.One Manny quickly reconized as Jordan and the other she guessed was Hustler.

"Oh these two are on of Degrassi's finest drug dealers.."Marisa said as she extended her arm out to them.

"I guess it's aight to meet ya."Manny said as she gave them a nod.

"Well look sorry if we scared ya shorty but we gotta go ya know."Jordan said.He had a shifty look in his eyes as if always knew something that you didn't.

Marisa then waved as they jogged off.

"Okay Marisa your friends are getting a little too freaky."Manny said as she lit a ciggarette.

"Yeah I know but they cool..well look I gotta go and um-"

Manny snorted and laughed as she let out the smoke fromher mouth.Marisa blinked and walked over to Manny as she was leaning against the tree.

"What was that laugh for?"Marisa asked sternyl as she put her arm on the tree and leaned Manny rolled her eyes.As she took in another breath of smoke.

"Nothing.."Manny said sarcastically.Manny then took a deep breath when-

**BAMMMM**

Manny began coughing as she swallowed the smoke.Tears started to come out of Manny's eyes uncontrolably.Her arms became numb as well as her feet.She grasped for air as she tried to pick herself up.After one minute of uncontrollable and painful coughing Manny picked herself up.

"What the fuck bitch?"Manny demanded as she gave Marisa a slight push.It was Marisa's turn to roll her eyes.

"When I ask a question and it doesn't get answered I get really pist off."Marisa said calmly and slowly as she examined Manny's red glossy eyes.

"Your physco..and I had a reason not to answer."Manny said coldly as she felt her thorat.She then stomped on her ciggarette and faced Marisa.

Marisa then got off the tree and began to walk forward then sharply turned around and faced Manny."Well just tell me."

"I know your gonna go run off with Giovani your never sorry for anythign you do I just can't belive that what I told you last week you can be so care free..."Manny said not looking directly into her eyes.She then felt nervousness inside her but didn't show it.

"Look me and Gio are one thing and he didn't rape you Manny like I said I love you but you really over react you were about to do it but at last minute didn't want to it's not his fault you change your mind so quickly..now be happy for me."Marisa said as she walked away still facing Manny.Manny turned to see Marisa's expression.Manny was speechless she couldn't belive it.As soon as Marisa was out of sight Manny rapidly got her bag and took out her blade.She stared at the razor and then kneeled down and sat indian style.Her long hair was covering what she was doing.She then dug the blade inside her skin.As soona s it was in blood started ozzing out.That didn't stop her,she then dragged it across slowly making sure she felt every inch of the pain.Her eyes started tearing again.She then took she razor out of her body and wathed as the blood came out.After a few seconds she slugishly got a little towel from her backpack and covered it.She leaned her head back and listened to all the sounds around her.

* * *

"Wow nice job."Alex said.

"Shut up."marco muttered.Marco was working in the Coffee Bean inside the mall.

"I had to see it to belive it."Ellie giggled as she examoined his attire of A brown shirt and jean pants with the words coffee bean on them.

"I actually like your job."Alex said as she looked at all the coffee beans.She then sagged her pants and sat down."Way better than serving greasy food."

"Yeah so are you gonna give us discounts?"Ellie asked while leaning on the counter.

"Maybe.."Marco said but then had a grin."Of course as long as Alex gives me discounts."

"Deal."Alex said.She then went up to the counter."One Mocha with extra whip."

"Comming right up!"Marco said as he got the whip cream.Alex laughed as she looked at Marco.Ellie then stopped laughing as she looked at Alex laughing at Marco and cocked her eyebrow.

"Looks sooo good!"Alex commented.

* * *

Manny just barged into Emma's room.She always did but this time Emma got mad.

"God Manny don't you knock..?"Emma asked focused on her computer.

"Since when are you cranky?"Manny playfully asked her with attitude.Manny walked over to her but she minimized something on her computer."Em what have you been hiding?"

Emma then looked at Manny with sincere eyes."I'm not moody and im not hidding anything."Emma said while her fingers tensed up and she pretended to look up some animal facts."Haven't been in this website lately.."She said in a whisper but Manny heard.Manny then realized how much Emma had changed.Physically and mentally.Sometimes it was hard to factor that.Manny then looked at the minimized page that Emma closed and it said:

Istnt Mesg Gangt...

"Hey Em what do you think of my outfit?"Manny asked as soon as Emma turned Manny dove and opened the minimized page and she was it was a instant message but to..

"Sean?"Manny asked shocked.Emma was about to say something but Manny had found out already.Manny was alrready reading it.

**SparkleSpaz:I think manny is here**

**GangstAss05:So..?**

**SparkleSpaz:She might see this/**

**GangstAss05:again so come on Em she has to know..**

**"SparkleSpaz:Hold up**

Emma looked at Manny as she saw it was too late because Manny was reading it.

"So how long were you going to keep this from me Em?"Manny asked as she walked back and looked upset.

"Manny come on I mean it's really none of your buisness besides I know you keep secrets from me too!"Emma shouted.Manny then gave a little "Uh"Emma then cocked her eyebrow as she sat up and faced Manny.

"What do you know!"Manny said a little louder.

"Exactly.."Emma said as she threw her arms into the air and then pointed to Manny"I don't know anything about you,you are always with Marisa and i'm starting to think you'd rather have her as a best friend than me!"

Manny then blinked and then let out a chuckle."Em come on,I haven't replaced you.."

"Think about it Manny you have!Besides Sean has been more of a best friend than you have sometimes I think maybe of replacing you with Sean!"Emma said while closing her eyes as if what she was saying was hurting her.Then it was silent.manny was so shocked she had to wait for it t sink in.Emma was right.She had been a bad friend and even though she didn't want to Marisa had taken Emma's place.Even though Emma had done nothing wrong she realized as Marisa was changing her she was also was changing everything around her.Emma was replaced with Marisa and Darcy had a right to be mad at Manny.She had been such a bad friend.

"You're right.."Manny whispered.Emma then realized what she said.She began to walk towards Manny when Manny stepped back.

"I wanna still be your friends it's just..."Emma's voice trailed off as if she didn't know what to say.

"It's just you don't want to be my best friend I get it."manny said.Emma opened her mouth to say something when Manny interupted her."No really I do get it it's fine really um i'll leave you to Sean I have places to be anyways bye Emma."Manny said as she rushed downstairs.

"Your outfit is alright."Emma whispered.

Emma went to her door and gently closed it as she sighed leaning aginst the door.She then banged her head and slowly walked back to her computer.

**SparkleSpaz:Sorry about that,um Manny and I aren't Bff anymorre just friends**

**GangstAss:Why?**

**SparkleSpaz:Time I guess changes and so do we...**

* * *

Marco was sitting on Craig's bed and Craig was looking fro something.

They were both talking to Jimmy on speaker phone on Craig's cell phone.

"So then I left work and came here."Marco finished his story.

Marco then looked at Craig in a confused way but Craig ignored him.

"So how is it Jim?"Marco asked with sincere eyes as if he was really there.

"Actually it's alright better than I thought it would be."Jimmy said,"I took my last test today so all I need to do is wait for the doctor to call me and we'll see the results then bada bing bada boom and im back home."

"That's great!"Craig said as he searched the other side of the room.Marco then focused more on the cell than Craig.

"Cool man."Marco said.

"Jimmy..the doctor wants to see you.."A blonde nurse said as she poked her head into his door.

Jimmy nodded,"Alright well the docotr finally wants to see me!"

"Alright well we'll let you go well tell me what happened call my cell and tell me,bye JIm gotta go to the bathroom!"Marco grinned.Craig started laughing as did Jimmy as Marco ran out of Craig's room.

"Well bye Craig."Jimmy said.Craig then finally took out a box.

"Wait dude!"Craig said as he got the box and smiled.

"What man look I really gotta go."Jimmy said a little unpatiently.

"Just one minute!"Craig pleaded.

"Alright what is it?"Jimmy asked in a mellow voice.

"Well you see I think I am going to go through with the plan."Craig said with a grin.

"Dude..you know what whatever I already warned you oh so many times..about the backfires just-"

"Look I know but I think she needs me now more than ever."Craig said in a serious voice."Besides I don't really like her."

"But dude what if you-nevermind just remember what I told you I mean if she finds out your never gonna reach her again."Jimmy warned.

"I know I know oh and on a lighter note I got you something."Craig said in a happy voice.

"What?"Jimmy asked excited.

"Well you have to go Jim.."Craig said with a chuckle.

"Screw ya then."Jimmy grinned.

"Well man you'll see it when it gets delivered."Craig said examining the box."Will you get it before your surgery?"

"No but for sure after."Jimmy said while looking at the clock.

"Well alright."Craig smiled.

"Well bye Craig."Jimmy said.

"Yeah later man and good luck you know."Craig said sounding concerned.

"Yeah..bye."Jimmy said as he hung up.Craig hung up too and folded his hands and placed them under his chin as his blank eyes looked outside.

* * *

Manny felt the warm tears streak down his pale cheeks and the liquid red fell from her arm.She starred at it and smiled."Bleed."

She then blinked and put a towel over it,because she felt a woozing feeling.She stepped out of the alley and began walking down the street.

As she was walking she looked at the Deli and remembered when she used to go there with her friends back when she was innocent but now...things were crappy.She lit the ciggarette and began smoking again.She had to admit she was getting addicted.But she loved the feeling yet hated to crave it.Manny now looked mysterious and kinda dead,like she had everyone's secrets in her head.

Her skin was getting paler and her eyes were covered by sunglasses to hide the dialated eyes.She walked in the Deli,The Dot was always busy so the deli was more better.She stepped over to the counter.

"UM can I have a bottle of water?"Manny asked the young man on the other side of the counter.

"Sure,it's $2.50."the man smiled.

Manny then reached inside her pockey and only had two dollars.

"Shit."Manny hissed.

The man cocked his eyebrows,"Excuse me?"

"I don't have fifty cents."Manny said as she gave him a sincere smile.

"Well I am sorry mame but you can't but this."The man said as he put the water back in the refridgerator.

"Here."a voice said as he put fifty cents on the counter.

Manny turned to see Craig.

"Um..thanks."Manny smiled as she got the water bottle.

"I hardly see you at school."Craig said as he looked at her.

"Well busy I guess."Manny said as she sighed.She then was about to leave when Craig stepped behind her."What?"

"Well don't you wanna talk I mean after the whole party thing and I uh-"

"Look it meant nothing it means nothing we are nothing-but friends..i think."Manny said as she stepped out.

"Well what do you mean I think?"Craig asked.

"Well it depends on you."Manny said simply as she took a sip of her ice cold water."I mean I haven't talked to ya in a while."Manny smiled.

Craig then all of a sudden hugged her.

"Oh woah what was_ that_ for?"Manny asked as she blushed.

"Well I missed you,and well talking to ya."Craig smiled.

"Me too!"Manny grinned.

"So um how about we go to the park and hang out?"Craig asked.

"Um Sure!"Manny replied.

They each wlked out of there.

Walking to Park...

"So how have you been lately?"Craig asked Manny trying to make conversation.

"Um it;s alright I mean I can't complain."Manny smiled.

"Well I heard rumors."Craig began.A nervous rush overflowed Manny's body as she stopped dead on her tracks.She then shhok it off and made a fake smile towards Craig.

"You should know better than to belive rumors and trust me they can't be as bad as last year or true...so what rumors?"Manny finished.

"Well,"Craig paused and looked at Manny to see her reaction."That you do drugs."

"Ha!Are you serious they're just a bunch of bullshiters that are bored with thier own lives that they try to ruin others."Manny stated as they reached the park.

"Manny I know for a fact that thoses aren't rumors.."Craig's voice trailed.

"What!You honestly belive I would do that?"Manny asked outradged.

"I'm not the one spreading thoses rumors Manny!Marissa is!"Craig shouted.

"What?Marissa wouldn't betray me like that!"Manny said coldly.

"Your the only one who seeems the belive that.."Craig mummbled.

"Craig!Please just shut up for once I have a friend I can count on and trust but you always take that away from me."Manny yelled.

"Your eyes are dialated."Craig said casually.

"What-"

"You were just stoned weren't you?"Craig asked but with more agression as he stepped in front of Manny.

"Fuck you.."Manny said with such frustration her voice began to shake,she then began to walk away when Craig caught up to her.

"Let me help you Manny I-"

"You need to get out of my life!"Manny cried with tears comming down her eyes.

"Manny I care about you!"Craig shouted.

"You don't even know who I am or care about you!"Manny yelled as she turned back to face him expecting an emotionless expression from Craig.

Craig then looked at her and said,"I know that you are Manny Santos and that I care about you so much that I will be willing to give anything to help you."

Manny then looked confused.She didn't know weither to smile or weither to yell more.What he said to her made her stay quiet.

"What did you _say_?"Manny asked hoarsly,she stood still she couldn;t move.

Craig then slowly walked up to her,"I said I know that your Manny Santos and that I care so much about you that I will be willing to give anything to help you."Craig repeated now in front of her.

"Craig I don't have a problem...Marissa is my friend and thanks for what you said I should get going now."Manny sad quietly as she walked away."I'll call you."

Craig just stood there dumbfounded.He never though he would be that desperate but he was he ran to the one person he never thought he would talk to.

* * *

"Hello?"J.T asked grogily as he opened the door.

"J.T I need help."Craig said with worry in his tone.

J.t looked confused,"Uhh...come in?"

Craig nodded and stepped into J.T apartment.

"Not to be rude but why come to me I haven't talked to you since..."

"Yeah I know akward but you talk to Manny and well know Manny more than anyone besides Emma."Craig explained.

"Well yeah but we don't..talk anymore as much well we do talk but she is more into Marissa now."J.T yawned as he sat down on his couch.

"I know I can't stand Marissa personally...I just think she's causing Manny to do drugs and go down a wrong path..."Craig said.

"I know what you mean but I don't know she is a different person Craig and people don't change easily,I mean Manny..she's just...not her anymore that I know of she's tries but she's not going to be the same person and it took me a while but I sorta dealt with it."J.T said his thoughts.

"I know but I want to help her-"

"So do I craig your not the only person who cares for her!"J.T said somewhat offended.

"I know that but I want to just.."Craig couldn;t finish because of his frustration.

"Look I'll see what I can find out about Marissa Libby's elective is at the administrative office and i'll try to get Marissa'a profile we'll see what she's really up to and hwo she is and if Manny could see it then-"

"-then maybe she'll listen to us..."Craig finished.

"Exactly..well I better get on Libby's good side starting now if i'm gonna get her in a good mood so i'll see you tomorow."J.T stood up to escort Craig to the door.

"Thanks and have a good one."Craig waved as he went down the stoop stairs.

_I wonder what she is doing now..._

* * *

_All I need girl is a little bit not a lot baby girl just a little but.._

There was a party downtown and Manny and Marissa were having the time of thier lives.Somehow Manny mamanged to forgive Marissa because Marissa agreed to take Manny to a party where she can begin to sell drugs.

"Do whatever it takes to sell 'em.Remember you can never go too low."Marissa explained as some guy slapped Marissa's ass.

"Alright so basically...-"

"Be a whore who sell's drugs and stays one step ahead of the guy..do what you gotta do remember as long as your one step ahead."Marissa smiled.She then handed Manny a drink."With that outfit you are sure to get attention."

Manny had basically a black bra with a see-through ripped mini shirt over it.Her pink thong was showing and she had low rise jeans.

Manny POV

_Half of me was listening to what Marissa had to say and half of me wanted just to leave and find guys to sell drugs to.Something about the dugs-I AM NOT ADDICTED-I can stop whenever I wanted to it's just when I had these cravings it's like having cravings for fodd and I needed my 'food'...Drugs also took me out of reality...just for thoese wonderful moments I was away from the real world and into my world where all my problems were swept away...I loved leaving this world and the drugs that I got helped me get to my fantasy a little bit quicker besides what could go wrong..._

_Marissa then began to speed up her talking is when I was fully alert.._

"You got it?"Marissa asked me keeping eye contact with me.

"Yeah I got it.."I said slowly still loooking at the guys around me.

"Once you make eye contact with a guy just-"Marissa giggled as a guy passed by and slapped her ass."Like that kinda guy you just go for them!"

"Alright."I said confidently.

"Remember whatever it takes."Marissa said seriously.

I then got a huge flashback of grade 9 at the rave but i shrugged it off.

"Alright."I repeated myself.

"Oh and one more thing if you can get them in a room that's even better."She smirked.I know I had done pretty crappy tings but I wasn't ready to do that yet.I don't knwo what I wanted anymore.As we both walked our seperate ways I remembered something.

"Hey Marissa!"I shouted after her.She turned at me and looked pist but put on a fake smile.

"What?"

"Are you going to sleep over my house after school?"I asked her just to make sure.

"Um..yeah where else would I go?"She asked me adding a laugh.

I then thought about it i've never been to her house she is always at my house-well whatever.

"Oh alright,um when shoudl we meet?"I asked her.

She then licked her lips and clicked her tounge."About...twoish?"

"UM yeah that sounds good."I replied.

"Well alright remember this place is a jackpot full of money you just have to play your cars right and win."She smirked again at me.

"Sure."I said,my craving was getting a little bit stonger.

She smiled and then ran to the guy that slapped her ass.I turned around and saw this hot guy across the room.He had the latest fashion and he had the most expensive shoes i've ever seen.The stud on his ear really helped his image.That was the guy I was going for.I slowly made a sexy walk towards him.I saw him eye me and his friends too..this helped a lot.

I then slowly passed him without looking at him.I was hoping my plan would work ifit didn't then-

"Hey Sexy."

_YES!It did work.I turned around and smiled._

"Hey."

His friends then began checking me out but I wasn't concerned about them I was only concerned about _him._

"So.."He began as he then stepped behind me and hugged me.he then whispered in my ear,"..What's a hot sexy girl like you doing all alone?"

I giggled,"Well i'm not alone.."I said slyly.He friends began to laugh.

"So what do you say we get a room?"He asked me trying to act all smooth.

"Alright."I cooed.He then took my hand and put me in front of him.While on our way looking for an empty bedrrom he kept whispering to me stuff like _You so fucken turning me on..._or like.._God damn your making me horny.._

I could tell he was drunk and he ovbiously wanted me then so it would make it all easier to sell drugs to him.

We finally found an empty bedroom as he closed the door I observed the room.It was small and with one bed I guess he liked it anyways because when I turned around he kissed me.I kissed bacxk I knew I was going to have to do something to make him buy some drugs.He began to caress my back and then moved his hands towards my ass.He then squeezed it I gasped and he totally took advantage because he stuck his tounge in my mouth.

I then began rubbing my tounge against his and he liked it because he was givning me rougher kisses.I needed to hurry this up if I kept with him longer he would keep me all night and I needed to make money.This guy I knew was rich. He was from South Toronto and his family was rich so I could get a lot out of him.I started to moan in hoping my plan would work.

It Did.

he then pushed me on the bed and began to touch my chest and squeeze my breasts.I gasped and that's when he was getting a little too excited I pushed him off.

"Wanna smoke some shit $30 per hit."I said with a grin.

"$30?"he asked shocked.

"Yeah is that a problem?"I asked him hoping he wouldn't argue.

"Alright here's $100 dollars and i'll give you more if you give me a little lap dance."He grinned.

I was kinda shocked and didn't know wiether to take the offer.Marissa woulda slapped me and said take it you dumbass.He then patted his lap.

"C'mer."He slurred a little.I slowly walked over to him and he then kissed me."Come on just dance your too sexy to be a good gurl."

I was about to start dancing when he handed me some of my shit."after you."

I took it and started smoking it..I started to laugh.I mean hehe..look at all thoses colors..wow..hahaha...I looked and before I knew it I was dancing with him.Then it got fuzzy.

I came to my senses I was at my house with Marissa and she was laughing.

"What?"I asked her,my thorat was dry so I wasn't sure if she had heard me.

"Ha ha your so retared."She started laughing.

"What!"I became angry unsure of what I did,"Tell me."

"Well the guy you almost fucked name is Danillo well his last name.And it seems after you made-out with him you went to his enemy Perez at the party!Isn't that funny!"Marissa laughed.I could tell she was still high.

"Um yeah whatever."I grumbled as I rubbed my eyes.I looked in the mirror I ws kinda starting to see myself get skinnier and skinnier I can't remember the last time that I ate in a while...I shurgged it off.I sluggishly walked myself over to the table where I laid my warm body against the coldness of the table causing my body to have a weird sensation.

"How much did we make?"I asked Marissa as she was laughing her ass off.

She turned and looked at me,"Wouldn't you like to know.."

I rolled my eyes and became agitated."Yes I would now how much did we make?"I demanded.

"About four thousand can u belive that shit and you bitch you made most of it."Marissa groaned.

I then walked over to her to make sure she wasn't having side affects from the drugs and booze.

I then kneeled down and rubbed my eyes when I opened them my vision was blurry for a bit but then as soon as my vison cleared I saw the money it was indeed really and i felt it in my hands felt so real...

"Wow..what are we going to do with it?"I asked in whisper since so amazed.

"Um ...spend it on clothes and drugs dumbass what else?"She said making me feel retarded.

I rolled my eyes and just kept counting the money.

"H-Hey is uh Hustler commin' by any chance today?"She asked kinda nervous.

I looked at her and cocked my eyebrow."Yea..as a matter of fact he is."I said slowly trying to find out what she is nervous about.

"Well..I gotta go."She said suddenly.

"Why?"I asked now burning with curiosity.

"Nothing just bye."She said as she got her jacket and walked towards my back door.I tried to get up but suddenly fell back and i got up but i heard my back door slam hard.

I sighed...heavily as I looked at the money.

* * *

A couple of hours later I began shaking and sweating for no reason.I felt as if I needed to bang my head against somehting right now or I would die.

"I am not addicted I am not addicted..."I kept repeating to myself.I was alone in my house and my arm was full of scars..

I looked and to me it seemed nomal I guess that how much insanity is in my head.I took a deep breath and sighed.I got the drug and began to snort it in my nose.My drink wa snext to me and I took a huge drink.I closed my eyes..I've hit rock bottom.I then heard the door knock.I knew who it was.Hustler.he usually came for his drugs or to give me some.I slugishly got up and answered the door.He stood there and came inside.

"Hey Sexy."He told me as he came with a bag.

"You have my goods?"He asked me.I then gave him his bag and he smiled as he looked inside.

"You have mine?"I asked him.

"Yeah but this time to get them you have to do something for me.."He said with a grin as he sat down on my couch.

"What?"I asked him.He then patted his lap with his legs open.

"Sit down."He told me.I then went and sat on his lap.He bgean to feel my back and my legs.I hated that it always got me flashbacks yet I wanted the attention.

He then pulled me down and began to kiss me.I then kissed him back as he stuck hsi tounge in my nouth I could tase the liquor which made me want more.He then got on top of me and started to kiss my neck.He then stopped.I got up and so did he.

"I actually came to tell you some bad news.."

I then became alert,"What is it?"I asked.

"Well you know Danillo at the-"

"Yeah I know him because well..."I couldn't really managed to say it not sure of what Hustler thought about this.

"Look Manuela I know but Perez found out that you fucked him."Hustler said.

I then opened my eyes wide.

"What!"I exclaimed outradged.Now all my other thoughts just turned dissapeared.I then felt my skin turn hot and I couldn't speak."I did not fuck him what the fuck are you saying!"I screamed.

"Well Danillo was braggin' 'bout dat and Perez is pissed off so now Perez is really mad and if I were you I would lay low for the next couple of days."Hustler explained.He then stood up as I was still in shock.He then looked at the money."Good job well gotta go placed to be besides it's not safe to be around ya if you no what I mean no offense."Were his last words as he walked out the door.

I still couldn't belive it I was in shock and just blank.

I just heard the phone ring and absent mindedly walked over and picked it up,"Hello?"

* * *

Emma was walking to school it was just two more days until Halloween and everyone was excited.Emma had a brown sweater with some nicely fitted jean pants.Her hair was down and flipped with her layers and she light make up since she didn't need it that much.The fall leaves danced around her with the help of the cold wind.She went opened the doors of Degrassi and had a little smile on her face.So far nothing horrible has happened that drasitcally.She went to her locker and got some of her books.When Jay passed by.Emma turned as Jay stopped by her locker.

"What do you want?"Emma snapped a little.

Jay sighed,"To talk to you to make things better between us."

"Us?"Emma laughed hautly."There is no us so I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I mean as...friends or somehthing your actually the first girl I-"

"You what let them give you a blow job and want to start a relationship with you probebly asked Amy before you asked me or what about Alex huh?"

Emma snapped as she got her books and slammed the locker.

"Give me a break Emma okay I liked you okay I know that we can never be but at least maybe we would be friends.?"Jay suggested nto once taking his eyes off her.

"Jay..you gave me an STD-"

"You liked me you went to the ravine and you didn't care before-"

"That was before I had a horrible reputation before-"

"I don't wanna go to the ravine I just want a friendship-"

"Jay I don't know I mean i'm-"

"Your what?"Jay asked her now looking into her eyes.

"Afraid of you afraid of what _will _happen..."Emma said slowly.She had slowlty let her books slip to the floor.

Just then Darcy was walking with Manny and Manny stopped and Darcy covered her mouth before she could gasp.

"What do you mean what will happen.?"Jay asked sincerly as he stepped closer to her.IN Emma's head a flush of memories were arising the time at the ravine even though she only did her earnings once there was still a connection.He liked her and she liked him he wanted herand she wanted to be wanted.

"Jay..I can't afford thoughts to become words and for words to become actions and actions become habits and habits become who we are and I don't wan't what i'm thinking."Emma said as she picked up her book from the floor.She stared at him giving him the unwanted look.He nodded his head and walked away Emma sighed as she turned and hit her head lightly against the locker when she felt a tap on her shooulder.She turned and was about to tell Jay off-

"What do you want!"Emma said bitterly.

"Um gee is that a way to say hello?"A voice said.Emma slowly turned and she felt her heart drop..not drop collaspe and exit her body,it was beating so fast and her stomach felt like she went down a huge roller coaster.

"...Sean?"

"Um yeah who else?"Sean smiled.He then hugged her and she had a worried look on her face as she looked over hsi shoulder she saw Manny and Darcy.

"Welcome back."Emma whispered in his ear.Sean grinned and ran his hands through his little longer hair.

"Whad' I miss?"He asked Emma.

Emma gulped and smiled hiding her lies,"Nothing much."Emma closed her eyes tightly,"Glad your back."

Sean smiled,"Me too...well I gotta go because i'm going to look for Ellie."Sean grinned.

"Oh yeah...Ellie...well good luck."Emma said a little too unsurely.They released form thier hug,Sean then smiled and waved as he turned and began to walk away to look for Ellie.

Emma sighed and slammed her head against the locker,"Ouch."

Manny said something to Darcy and jogged towards Emma.

"Found out Sean's back huh?"Manny said.Emma looked at Manny.It was kinda weird for Emma because of what happened between them.Yet again a lot of things happened between them and they still managed to be Best friends but I guess since Emma said it it kept in key.Emma knew that Manny was best friends with Marissa now and what can they do.Emma was just suprised Manny was talking to her.Manny had some tight jeans with her pink long sleaved top she usually wore with her matching pink sweat outfit but she choose jeans instead.Her hair was back in a pony tail with her long curly hair behind it.Emma felt like it was a portal back in time when they were best friends.She looked normal not slutty or too skinny or like she hadn't slept in weeks.

"Y-Yeah I did."Emma said about ten seconds after Manny's comment.She held her books tightly against her chest.

"So do you like him Em,I mean you made it quite obvious when he first left to Wasaga beach..."Manny added a grin.

"Oh my god Manny..."Emma chuckled she then sighed.

"Or do you like Jay?"Manny added with a serious face.

Emma's eyes popped open and she got her hair in her face and moved it behind her ear.

"Manny!"Emma snapped."How cold you even think that for once second?"

Manny looked down and picked her head up as she looked at Emma,"Because trust me i've been in love once and I know how it feels,"Manny then sighed,"and it ended up bad..I think I know who I'm talking about well...just don't let love blind you.."Manny looked Emma and but her lip before walking away.Emma looked back at her former best friend and then walked away from her locker.

* * *

"It doesn't hurt much it just feels weird.."Jimmy explained.

"Well man when are you comming home we miss ya a hella lot."Craig shouted at the phone.

"Yes Jimmy I miss you so much I love you so much,did you get the e-mail I sent you and the greetings?"Hazel asked worringly.

"I love and Miss you too,and yes Hazel I got all thirteen."Jimmy laughed.He then sighed,"Just can't belive that I can walk again now,well after I go through therapy that is."Craig looked at marco who had a curious look on his face.

"Well we're glad man and so when are you comming?"Marco asked as he went closer to Hazel's cell phone.

"I think maybe this week.."Jimmy said unsure.

"Really!"Hazel squealed as she hugged Marco.

"Yeah i'll be there real soon you can count on that."Jimmy smiled.

"That's great it really is."Marco said gently.It was a silent moment.

"Um..well I better get going guys I mean I have to get up for er you know."Jimmy appologized.

"Yeah well bye."Craig said.

"See ya Jim."Marco farewelled.

"Love you Jimmy!"Hazel squealed.

"Ha. Love you two bye guy."And with that Jimmy hung up.

"We have to plan a party for his return but a small one...I mean we have to go to that Halloween one."Craig explained.

"Yeah hey where's Paige?"Marco asked.

* * *

Manny POV

I had cold silver spoons under my eyes for about an hour.I took them out and my bags became less puffy and less red.I had on a black spaghetti starp top with a see through long sleeved black shirt on top.I had some nice jeans and my hair was curly.I fixed my make-up so I had light lip gloss with some mascara.

I grabbed the flowers and a photo book from the table and began to walk outside.I was very still and very confused as I reached the bus stop.I looked around and an old lady was sitting down.I sat down not next to her but rather as far from her as possible.She had grey hair in a loose bun.She had original grandma clothes and she looked at me and smiled.

"Hello young lady."She grinned.I wasn't in the mood to talk but just to be polite I mean what damage can talkign to a senior citizen do?

"Hello mame."I said politely with the most plastic smile ever.But being an old lady she couldn't tell.

"Oohh what's the flowers and the photobook for?Are you going to see your hubbie?In my day the gentelmen were the one's who brought the flowers."She said.

I sighed I really didn't want to explain why maybe I would lie,I mean that's all I did I was pretty good at it sometimes I lied so much I even belived my own lies so I couldn't tell which were real or not.

"No,i'm not going to see my boyfriend I don't have one actually."I said softly.

She then looked suprised."You young lady you don't have a boyfriend but you look very beautiful for a nineteen year old."

"I'm sixteen,"I corrected her.

"My word you look way older,in a good way,if you don't mind me asking who are those flowers are?"She asked me.

"Well-"

My bus came."Thsi si my bus I better get going,bye."I said as I got on the bus.I payed the busfare and sat down when I looked out the window the lady waved at me and I waved back.I leaned my head against the seat and closed my eyes.

When I opened them I was two blocks away from my destination.

The bus finally came to a stop and that's where I got off.The street seemed to be silent,or rather dead.I heard my high heel sandles make the clunk noise with every step I took.I finally reached my destination.I stepped inside the white building.I hated this place there was a bunch of sick people to me it was a house of death.I hated the hosptial.I slowly went to the information counter and an old man looked at me.

"May I help you miss?"He asked me.

I nodded,"Yes I am looking for a Mr.Santos."

He smiled and began typing slowy at the computer."Ahh yes we have a Mr.Santos..he's on the third floor..what is your name miss?"He asked my with a shaky smile.

"Oh it's Manuela Santos i'm his daughter."I gulped.So many emotions were surging through me.He _was_ my dad even though he betrayed my family my trust he still is my dad and I can't forget all the memories we had..I just can't.

"Well I am very sorry miss that your father is in the hospital it seems another family had come to see him."The old man said confused.It made me want to shout the whole story and yet I stayed calm I mean what and how could he know.

"Oh,well I dunno may I have the room number and floor?"I asked leaning over the counter.

"OH,"He excalimed as if he just remembered somehting,"Oh of course yes right away sorry miss..um the room is 656 and floor seven."

"Thank you."

I then went towards the elevator and pressed the up botton waiting for the elevator to come.I bit my lip an dhtought about my life in the past two months and everything...I haven't talked to Spike in forever well since September and Emma...well that's another story,the only one who seemed to truely care about me is Craig.Then it felt like a butterfly went into my stomach. That was random.

Just at that moment the elevator opened.I tooka deep breath and stepped inside I faced the buttons and pushed 7.Then the elevator door's closed.

_"Hello?"Manny asked as she picked up the phone._

_"Manuela..it's me mom."Ms.Santos said in a shaky voice_

_"Mommy what's wrong?"Manny asked now worrried._

_floor two_

_"Manuela I love you more than anythign in the world you know that right?"Ms.Santos's voice began to crack._

_"Mommy what's wrong?"Manny demanded as her voice began to too crack._

_"Somehting happened.."Ms.Santos began.Manny then sank to the floor and leaned her head against the wall._

_floor three_

_"What happened mom!"Manny exclaimed as tears escaped her eyes._

_"It's your father.."Ms.Santos began.Manny then became frustrated._

_"What about him!Mom you don't need him-_

_floor four_

_"-No baby something bad has happened to him."_

_Manny then felt her heart drop she clutched her chest,"What happened?"_

_"He's in the hospital.."_

_floor five_

_"What?"manny said hoarsely._

_"He got into a car accident..last night and I tried to call you but your cell phone wouldn't pick up."Ms.Santos explained._

_"Oh my god...is he okay mom what happened!"Manny cried._

_floor six_

_"He's dying it did damage to his body and the doctor says he only has a little while left.."Ms.Santos was now bursting into tears and so was Manny._

_"Mommy!No he can't die I haven't seen him!He's my daddy he can't die!Mom he's my daddy he can't die!"Manny was shouting hysterically._

_"I know baby I know i'm goin to the hospital tomorow to visit him come..I think i'll be home sooner than expected."Ms.Santos tried to calm down._

_floor seven_

_"Alright mommy..i'm scared what if he.."_

_"Kepp your head high and your heart true and you will be fine.And so will your father."Ms.Santos said,"Manuela I love you."_

_"I love you too."_

I stepped out of the elevator and began to search for the room.It was a long hallway so I knew it was going to take a while as I past rooms I saw sick people in there,or people crying,_how could doctors stand working here_?

I was getting close to the room cause at was at the 640's.

I saw a guy my age with flowers in his hands.he then saw me and walked up to me.

"Hi um do you know where room 656 is?"He asked me.

"Uhh yeah..its' down the hall but why are you going there?"I asked him now curious.

"Oh it's because of my mom's boyfriend he's well hurt badly."He said with sadness.

"That's my dad."I said confidently.

"What?"He asked in most utter shock.

"That's my dad your talking about..wait your the other family.."I said it was finally clear to me I thought I was going to kill the family when I met them but this boy he had no clue.

"Yeah..um I gotta go."I said in a rush as I ran past him.

I didn't have the heart to tell him besides he didn't deserve to know yet.I didn't look back just saw him pass me and not take one look.

Then all of a sudden a saw a girl with dirty blonde hair sitting on a chair outside a door crying.

I stepped closer to see what the girl looked like more or else cause I reconized her...I stepped closer and reconized the girl instanly.

It was indeed Paige.

Why was Paige there?She was sitting with blank eyes.I then walked over to her and she bearly noticed me as I sat down.

"Paige?"I asked she looked at me with her big red eyes.

"Yeah?"She asked.

"What's wrong why are you here?"I asked her.

"I'll feel better if you tell me first.."She said .Then a wave of emotions hit me.I then took a heavy sigh.

"My dad.."I whispered.She leaned in closer.

"What?"She asked me.

"MY Dad!"I said much louder.She got starteled and backed away.

"What happened?"She asked with caution.

"He's dying."I said as tears came into my eyes."I just met his other family that he cheated on my mom with..they had no idea.."

Then I was crying Paige grabbed me in a huge hug.

"Manny i'm so sorry!"She said full of symapthy but I didn't need that I needed a new life where I could be free as a bird.

"What happened with you?"I asked rubbing my teary eyes.

She sniffled and rubbed her nose,"Remember Mr.Oleander?"Paige asked me.

I felt a mini guilt trip.When me and Paige got into that fight last year...I sorta well really messed hsi life up.

"Y-Yeah.."I said slowly.She gave me a small smile I guess for me not to feel nervous.

"Well he got hit by a drunk driver."Paige manages to say before bursting in tears.

I kinda felt we connected on that one,"My dad was in a car accident."I explained.

"I'm very sorry."She said to me.

"So is Mr.O going to be alright?"I asked nervously.She looked down on the floor and tried to sigh but the tears and emotions got the best of herand she let out a gaspy cry.

"Manny...he's on life support."Paige said in a whisper.

I felt my heart drop as low as it can..I felt bad I mean I ruined his life and now he's dying I can't help but feel guilty.I get closer to Paige and give her a hug.She turned towards me with red eyes shimmering with tears and gave me a hug.

I don't remember how long we cried but it must've been long cause I remembered I had no more tears left to cry.We the pulled from the hug.

"Thank you Manny for being there for me hon."She said with a warm smile.I took a deep breath.

"No need to thank it's the least I can do for a good friend."I commented.She then hugged me again.

"You better go see your dad."She said.

"Alright bye."

"Bye hon."

I got up from my seat and walked to room 656.I shoulda known...As soon as I stepped in there I saw the guy my age and i'm guessing his brothers and sisters and the mom.I then saw my mom.

The guy then turned away and didn't look at me.

I walked again into yet a dead room.I heard my high heel sandles make thier clunk.Each step made me feel like I was on think ice and that it would brake any minute.

I saw my mom and ran into her arms.

"MOM!"I cired.She embraced me in a hug.I didn't care if the other family saw me cry I could give less a damn but what I did care about was how my mom was feeling."Mommy are you okay how's daddy?"I asked her.

I saw the other woman flinch when I said daddy.

"He's um..staying strong Manuela he is."My mom tried to comfort me.

I then turned to the other family."So your the family on which my dad left us for huh?"I said with adittude.

"Manuela don't be rude!"She hushed me.

"What mom!I really don't care right now I have other things in mind rather than be polite for the past two months I have held in all my damn emotions i'm just asking a question is that the family my dad left us for!"I practically screamed.

"Yes."The guy said."But how were we suppose to know he had a family!You're not the only who is hurt by this!We are hurt too you know!"

_Ohh this boy got me mad!_

"Excuse me!You only knew him for like two years is what I hear I knew him my whole damn life!I knew him when I was a baby I knew him on my first day of school,I loved him with all my heart and he is my daddy and not yours he's your mom's boyfriend not your father! How do you think I felt when my mom told me the news?That he had another family! I cried my damn eyes out because my dad betrayed me! Oh but that's not all to add to that he's dying cause he was in a car accident!"I yelled.

Everyone in the whole room stood quiet.Then my arms and legs got shakyand I fell the the floor just crying hysterically.My mom tried to get close to me but I flinched.

"Don't okay!"I yelled.Why did this always happen?My emotions were going soo crazy.AI felt like Alice falling down that tunnel.I began to yell and shout and cry.The docotr's and nurses came to try to calm me down but it was no use.Then a noise came that made me silent.

"Manuela...?"

I hushed up and looked towards the bed.I saw my papi there.I quickly walked over to him

"Papi!"I cired as I ran up to him and hugged him.

He hugged me and I heard him wimper.

"Papi!"I asked concerned.

"Manuela i'm so sorry for what I had done and I knwo that I can't take that back just please always know that I love you more than anything in the world you'll always be my corozon."He said to me.

I smiled and hugged my dad.

"You'll always have me as your daughter."I said in his ear.He smiled and nodded."and you'll always be my heart too."

I gave him another hug and gve him the flowers and photobook.

"I love you daddy."I whispered.

From now on I knew I would only see him in the hospital.i would never see him at our house laughing at my un funny jokes.Or always calling me to make sure I was safe.He wasn't ever going to do that anymore.He was now weak in the hospital..dying and I had to get used to it.I closed the door and closed my eyes as I took a deep breath and began walking out of the hospital.

As I passed the information desk I saw some cops talking to some lady.

"So it seems around 11pm Mr.Santos was drinking and driving and that's where he apparently hit Mr.Oleander is that correct?"

"Yes."

My heart froze._no this couldn't be possible!_

* * *

**So what did you think of the twist at the end?Omg I am soo sorry it toom me forever to update!I've been busy with school and other fan-fics so check them out if you want,well anyways I know that there wasn't that much Cranny in this and i'm sorry!It will be in the next one super promise the next one is going to be PURE FLUF!so if you review i promise I wil try to have it up within a week or so!but you finally know what Paige was upset about ohhh and what about that twist at the end!Well I promise again more Cranny and please vote on which story i should do next!**

**Oh and also vote should Manny Tell Paige or not!Alright so please please review and here are your infamous sneek peeks...**

He made me smile.I then felt his hands interwined with mine.He got closer to me and then I felt it.The spark!The heart going out of control along with my emotions.He kissed me.I felt his costume cape flap in the air.He pulled me closer and his tounge touched my lips,asking me permission,I allowed him and opened my mouth.I forgot about how much I loved his french kisses.He was rubbing his tounge against mine just the way I liked it.I began to moan and apparently he liked that because he started to kiss rougher.

"Hey Craig..oh my god.."I heard a voice.

We both got starteled and turned around and saw Ashley.

"Ashley..I..uh.."Craig began the stutter.

_I cocked my eyebrow I mean I was a little embaressed too but why would he be nervous?Did he still have feelings for Ash?_

I didn't want to wait to find out so I just looked at Craig.

"I better go."I said quickly without looking at Craig.Ashley was standing at the doorway and Ashley moved so I bearly fit through.As soon as I exited the room a boom of noise hit me.The music was so damn loud.I pushed passed people dancing in costumes.Then this guy in a dracula costume stopped me.Okay now I was kinda pist off because I wanted to leave.

"Want to be my eternal lover?"He asked in a dracula accent.Yet I could tell his voice a little.

"Sully!"I asked hoping with all my heart it wasn't.

He then took out his fake vampire teeth and smiled.The fake blood on hsi mouth made him look disgusting.

"How'd you know?"He asked in a chuckle.

"I can tell an ass from a mile away now if you excuse me I gotta go."I said in a bitchy tone as I rushed past him.

**XXXX**

"Tell me Manny!"Sean yelled at me with fire in his eyes.

"Look Emma should be the one telling you not me!"I yelled so loud tears escapped my eyes.

"Manny what happened between Emma and Jay?"sean asked very calmly.He began to walk closer to me.

I took a deep breath."Sean..I can't I mean people forgotten about that if you know and cause Drama it's gonna resurface and Emma's life is gonna be hell again.."

"Manny please I need to know."Sean said in a desperate tone.


	7. Home

**Thank you guys for the reviews I mean I thought people gave up on the story but you guys didn't so I thank ya!Well I hope u guys really liked the chapter and the sneek peeks.Well I finally picked a romance movie im gonna do,so be in store for that!So what did u guys think of the twist at the end?Well I hope u liked it!Okay this chapter is the long awaited FLUFFY chapter for cranny Crash fans are warned to stay away unless you don't mind cranny!Well I really hope u like it because I well am kinda nervous writting fluff cause well i don't wanna be flammed so let me know what you think okay!Well also this chpater also deals with Manny kinda realizing Marissa is a back stabber and Manny's drug problems come to get her.Also Manny has a breakdown that has to go a lot with the title chapter to read and review and i'll say it again!**

**Well please review!**

**Summary**:Manny finally got her life back together,friends with Craig even..but when a new girl comes will she

take her back to the life that she just recovered?Or even worse?Ashley comes back from London..and not sure of the relationship

**rated**:pg-13 for violence,drug use,breif sex,language,situations involving teens

**Disclaimer:**I do not own Degrassi

**warnings**:in future chapters there may be a scene not meant for younger audience which i will change the ratings

**a/n:**even if i dont get that much reviews i will continue to update I really fell in love with the plot and

i think this teaches us a lesson to always choose the right friends and learn to say no.

**READ THIS!** I am going to make another fan fic on love movies& Cranny now should it be,Moulin Rouge(the girl is missunderstood and the guy is so damn hot and musically talented!),Titanic(um it's a great and sad love story),Swan Princess(i dunno why I put this..)Aladdin(because the guy is an oprhan and well yeah),Grease(the all famous one) LET ME KNOW!

Alright I asked a couple of people and It's between Titanic and Moulin Rouge so vote!

* * *

_I'll be comming home just to be alone,cause I know your not there and I know that you don't care,I can hardly wait to leave this place,no matter how hard I try never satisfield this is not a home I think I'm better off alone,always disspaear even when your here,this is not my home i think im better off alone,home home,this house is not a home,home ,this house is not a home,By the time you get home i'm already stonned,you turn off the t.v and scream at me ,i can hardly wait till you get off my case,no matter how hard I try never satisfield this is not a home I think I'm better off alone,always disspaear even when your here,this is not my home i think im better off alone,home home,this house is not a home,home ,this house is not a home,home,this house is not a home home,this house is not a home...im better off alone...no matter how hard i try never satasfied,this house is not a home i think im better off alone,I think I'm better off alone,always dissapear even when your here,this is not my home i think im better off alone,home home,this house is not a home,home ,this house is not a home,home,this house is not a home home,this house is not a home...-three days grace;home_

* * *

**Chapter 7**:Home

I opened my eyes to the darkness.It didn't even really matter if I kept my eyes closed because it was the same darkness.I slowly got up and removed the warm sheets off me only to get whipped by coldness.I began to rapidly rubb my hands against my arms to try to regain some warmness in my body.I was then in the hallway and I looked downstairs.I gulped heavily.

_"Manuela!"Mr.Sanots called.Manny came downstairs in a long sleeved pink top wth some matching sweat bottoms._

_"Yea papi!"Manny asked as she got her coat._

_"Well are you ready for school?"He asked her._

_"Yeah of course just can't wait till Christmas god...break is almost here."Manny sighed as she got another matching sweater from the coatrack._

_"Well I can't wait for you to see what I got you."_

_"Ooohh can't wait but now school so I gotta go bye papi."Manny rushed as she went outside._

Then the memory I had just slipped away.I was going to go visit my father today later on as soon as I got things under control over here.I slowly walked downstairs and made my way into the kitchen.My mom said she would be comming home sooner but since my dad is on his deathbed she has been at the hospital and I would find that akward since his whore-I mean girlfriend is there too.I walked to the fridge food has seemed less appealing lately,so I just closed the fridge and began heading towards my bedroom.My head was swriling with frustation,confusion,anger,and cravings.As soon as I reached my bedroom I got my pack of ciggarettes and took one out while accidentally dropping the other ones on the floor,at this moment I don't give a rat's ass.I then took out a lighter and lit my cig.,and tooka deep breath.Yes,I did feel the smoke entering my body and entering my lungs and it felt great.I smoked for about five minutes and stommed on it since I had out a pair of slippers on.I decided to get ready for the day.I opened my closet and got a pair of jeans with a mini blue tight shirt.I got a blue bandana and put it on.I looked cute I might add.I went downstairs and walked out of the house which I slowly began to hate.

I stepped down the stairs of my stoop and decided once and for all I needed to start over...desperately.

I missed Emma,I missed talking to her and being able to tell her anything,I missed just that feeling of knowing someone cares for you as much as they do.I hated being alone that is my greatest fear of all...Emma was the one person Ican count on no matter what happened she was and is...my Best Friend Forever..but I guess she doesn't want to be mine.I have to accept that.Even though it does hurt I mean it litterally does hurt my heart.I needed to gain the old friendship back.

I put my hands in my pocket and looked at my surroundings.The leaves on the tree's were of a ornage,red,yellowish color.As I began walking to school I heard the crunching of the leaves under my feet,causing the once beautiful leaf to become shattered inot a million pieces...like me.Somehow the drugs was the foot causing me to be like this,but who knows it may be a person.A nice breeze wrapped itself around me and I quickly grabbed my arms as a chance to get a little bit warmer.I looked up and saw Marissa who as always looked stonned...yet something was different about her.

She seemed to be looking for something by the expression on her face,and as soon as she saw me hey eyesbuldged out and she ran towards me.Part of me wanted to run away and part of me wanted to stay and see what was the matter.Then as she was running towards me I got one of my cravings again I took out a pack of ciggarettes I had in my back pocket of my pants and then got a lighter that was in my front pocket.I quickly lit it and breathed in sweet cancer.By that time she was in front of me.

"Manny!Hey um..how have you been,"She asked kinda quickly.By the sound of her voice it seemed that she wanted to be the small talk out of the way and tell me somethign be for some strange reason wanted to be polite.

I paused for a couple of seconds and then began,"Fine..."I said cautiously.

She didn't seemed interested at what I said I don't even think she was paying attention.

"Good..Good..that's um..good."She said looking down.

_I couldn't take it anymore!She was bothering me her tone her weirdness I needed to know what was up._

"What happened?"I asked her.She then slowly looked up andbit her lip.

"Well Manny...you know I love you right?"Marissa asked me sincerly.

_Ummm...I think..._

"Yeah I know."I said to her face.She smiled.Then kinda chuckled.

"You like a sister to me the closest thing I have to one."She then began to rub her bare arms.

_Wow okay..your confusing me.!_

"Thanks..."I said with a warm smile.

"Look Manny I fucked up."She blurbed.

"What?How!"I asked her fearing that something may be wrong.My hands then got sweaty.

"Not now is the time to explain.."Marissa said not looking at me but her mind seemed to be wondering someplace unknown.

"Marissa you need to tell-"

"LOOK IT"S HARD ENOUGH!"She snapped.I jumped from startlement.She then seemed to calm down and took a deep breath."I'm..sorry..really,I figured out what I have to do..."

I was really confused and I was afriad if I were to say another word she would got physco on me again.

She looked at me and gave me a hug."I love you.."

I cautiously hugged her back and whispered,"Me...too."

She then released from our hug and smiled as me before walking away.

* * *

"Hey Manny!"Marissa shouted.I began to walk down the hallway to her locker.

As I reached my destination I saw another girl there.She had red hair and green eyes.She had on a yellow halter top with short shorts.

"Hey Marissa what's up?"I asked looking at the girl who didn't know wiether to be polite or so be a bitch to me.

"Hey..,well this is Roxy she's new here."Marissa introduced me.Marissa stepped out of my way so that I was facing Roxy face to face.I stepped up and she smirked at me,maybe because I was quiet for so long so I decided to speak up.

"Hey my name is Manny,so where do you come from?"I asked trying not to be too polite or too bitchy.

She half smiled and flipped her hair back."Cool,I come from somewhere else and I think I know who you are..well anyway Marisssa said that you're comming with us to the boardwalk to sell some shit."

_What?I never agreed to that!_

"She _did_?"I asked Roxy looking directly at Mariss's eyes as she smirked at me.

"Yea..so are you going because I have a bag full and,"she got her bag from her locker and showed me the drugs,"I want to get my money's worth."

She had a proud look on her face as if she had won or something Marissa seemed rather amused by this because she put her arm around Roxy,"Isn't she great?"Marissa asked me.

"Marissa I told you that I have to work on a play for drama and I-"

Marissa cut me off by her heavy sigh."Look since when are you a schoolgirl and we'll probably be back by then."

Roxy rolled her eyes and whispered to Marissa,"I thought you said she was cool and was a good drug seller..."

It was obvious I heard when I blurted out,"Let's go."

Marissa bit her tounge and grinned."Okay let's hurry before anyone see's!"

Roxy grabbed her bag and we began to speedwalk towards the exit,something inside my stomach made me giggle.

All of a sudden I heard someone shout,"Manny!"

I stopped and turned around only to see

"Craig?"

"Hey Manny how um are you?"Craig asked me as he walked closer.

I felt very uncomfortble the last time we talked I screamed at him.Why was he so calm?Why did he care for me?

I looked back at Marissa and Roxy but it seemed they didn't notice that I had stopped to talk with Craig I took a deep breath and walked closer.

"Um..fine,"I said then there was that dreaded silence and I knew what I had to do."I'm sorry for the way I snapped at you the other day you didn't deserve it."

I looked inot his eyes and almost gasped.He looked FIONE! He had a tight black shirt on with some kinda tight ripped jeans.His hair was kinda curly yet it was wet,his eyes were a dream I wished to stay in forever,and the best part is that he actually cared about me.Oh no!Please god no why was this feeling comming?It was the same feeling I had when I first heard Craig sing the song to Ashley..could it be..have I fallen for him again?Please no!

"Oh it's alright Manny..really."Craig smiled at me.

_Fuck!I am falling for him!This feeling was weird I couldn't breathe I couldn't think Craig was doing this to me yet I loved the feeling...especially since it was Craig._

"Craig..I-" _Woah WOAh was I about to tell him that I liked him?I had to get a hold of myself!_

Craig was then looking at me and I continued form my pause,"I..wanted to thank you for being there for me..."

Then I hugged him.I actually hugged him and he actually hugged me back!I felt so happy!As I felt his warnmess from his body gently rub against my bare stomach I felt so relaxed then all of a sudden I did somethign I never expected to do.I got on my tippy toes and kissed him!Craig must've been shocked because his eyes popped out before slowly closing them and his kissed me back.For once we didn't french it was just a kiss a long kiss..Then when I was about to end the kiss I slowly opened my eyes and saw Paige from one corner who witnessed the kiss..!

**Normal POV**

Paige covered her mouth to contain her shock and from the Degrassi Door's Marissa and Roxy saw.

"Who's that?"Roxy asked.Marissa saw Manny let go of Craig as they slowly began talking to each other.He then smiled and Manny looked down and blushed.Craig said somehting and Manny looked up.He then seemed to be asking her a question,and she nodded a yes and then he got her bag and she began walking down the hall.

"What!"Marissa snarled.Roxy then chuckled.

"I would do the same thing with a guy that hot."Roxy commented.She then shook the bag so that Marissa could hear it's contents."Eh come on I mean yesterday you took a break to do Gio."

"Look I messed up big time with him so let's just go sell this shit."Marissa snapped.Roxy seemed amused and followed.

* * *

**GYM**

All the cheerleaders were doing streches.Darcy and Chantel were next to the new girls showing them the proper streches and some of the girl sucked.While the other girls were doing the streches.Manny was streching when Paige went close to her.

"Hey Manny."Paige grinned.Manny smiled back and turned to face Paige.

"Oh Hey Paige what's new?"Manny asked as she stood up and did the splits.Paige smiled and cocked her head towards the side.

"Oh nothing what about you?"Paige asked.manny got the hint.She sighed and sat next to Piage.

"What did you see me do?"Manny asked as she then put her legs indian style.

"Well-"

"Paige we're done with our streches!"Darcy shouted.The new girls looked kinda tired.Paige rolled her eyes and then turned her head so that she could see Darcy.

"Well run one lap around Degrassi and don't come back till everyone's done."Paige said sweetly.Manny frowned as Darcy gave a plastic smile.

"Alright Paige."Darcy then faced the girls who looked like half of them wanted to kill Paige."Come on girls!"

They began to jog and Hazel went up to them.

"Do we do a lap too?"

Paige then looked at the other eight girls,"Yeah and Hazel you lead i'll get ou the equiment and Manny you'll help."

Manny nodded and got up.Hazel sighed and she started joggin out the gym.The other girls began talking amoung themselves.

"manny sweety where are you going?"Paige asked.Manny was headed towards the equiment room.

"I'm going to get the-"

"Ha.We have a good ten minutes or more before they come well I saw you and Craig."Paige said casually.

"Y-you did?"Manny choaked afraid of what this outcome may lead to.

"Yeah."Paige said as if Manny thought it was impossible to belive.

Paige then sat down on the floor and smiled."And quite frankly i'm shocked you didn't tell me."

Manny bit her lip,"It's not like I planned it.I mean I just I mean it just happened and I couldn't help it.I didn't even expect to like him."

"So you do like him?"Paige asked.

Manny then looked at Paige uneasy,"Yeah I guess you can say that..but don' tell anyone please!"

"I won't hun I won't."Paige insisted as she grinned at Manny."So you going to the halloween party?"

"UM yeah I am Craig asked me to go with him actually..."Manny then blushed as she looked down."I'm going."

"Oh well..that's awesome news well i'm glad you are happy..but what about Ash?"Paige asked.

Manny chuckled as she did back flip."I'm not worried about her because me and Craig aren't dating..yet"Manny smiled at the last part.

"So confident so how was the kiss?"Paige blushed when she asked the question.Manny then walked towards the equiment.

"You know what they say Paige.."Manny began."Never kiss and tell."

Piage smirked and then shook her head.

"Right hon right."Paige agreed.

* * *

**Boardwalk**

Marissa smoked a ciggarette and laughed,"Yeah she is such a whore."

"She is? I bought some shit from her at a party the other day."A guy said.

"Well that's cause she's a loose whore who sells cheap shit let the word get round..trust me I sell the real shit!Honestly when I was with gio she slept with him I mean that ain't right."Marissa laughed as she almost choaked form the smoke comming from her mouth.

Roxy just stood there looking at Marissa talking to this group of people.She bit her lip and then took another hit.

"Oh and get this she sells you fake shit and charges more! I swear she ripped all ya'll off."Marissa said caually."She also slept with Charlie."

"My brother!From the Vancouver's!"A guy asked outraged.

Marissa blew a cloud o fsmoke out and then grinned,"Yes."

Roxy then pulled Marissa aside.

"I thought you were cool wit her?"

Marissa gave her a heavy sigh,"I am I am chick but I'm just getting more buisness and we are cool like...sisters if I fall I bring her down with me."Marissa said looking serious.

"Isn't that cold?"Roxy asked.

"Yeah..but I don't love her like I love you...you I actually care about i mean I don't give a rat's ass about that stupid slut Man-"

* * *

"Manny!I have no idea where they got that info they started talking all this shit about you and well yea.."Marissa cried.

"Seriously...?God I need to get away look i'm gonna lay low for a while..not sell any smack,crank,nothing.Sorry Marissa but Charlie's Gang after me is too much!"Manny cried.As she slammed her locker closed.

Marissa hugged Manny and whispered in her ear,"I'll make sure nobody hurts you.."

Manny nodded as tears floated down her eyes.

* * *

"_A patched heart can never be fixed,My pieces are broken all on the floor,my heart can't take anymore,the tears are starined across my face leaving me that dirty taste of when I thought things were good but things aren't what they should...be...Im crying dying in my own insanity wishing and hoping for a fantasy that will never be can someone please help me...?Find my way back to-back to..."Manny paused as she looked up from the music room and saw Craig standing there._

"Keep going..."Craig insisted as he sat down in an empty seat next to Manny.Manny blushed.

"No...you'll laugh..."Manny whispered as she closed her lyrics.Craig scooted closer to her and smiled and then took the notebook.

"No I won't promise...besides all great singers have to be heard."Craig said cheery.Manny looked down and looked at Craig.

"Okay."Manny agreed."_When things were there and there was a chance but..i was under some evil trance...under your spell i didnt know right from wrong...you dont know how long I waited...how long...I-"_Manny stopped and then looked down."Craig I want to be somebody...I really want to be an actress."

"Thats great."Craig said.Manny shook her head.

"No seriously my dream is to fly away from this place...and become someone...maybe L.A or New York you know?"Manny smiled a warm smile.She then looked up towards the window and Craig saw a white dove,the dove then flew away.He then looked at Manny.

"I know you'll make it you'll be someone manny...and I want to see that..really."Craig said cautiously.Manny looked up at him.

"Do you really think so?"Manny asked with hope in her eyes.

Craig then looked deep inot Manny's eyes and didn't even reconize the person in her."I'm sure."

Manny blushed and smiled at me as they got closer."Craig...thanks for asking me to go the the halloween party...i really need to get out more to different places."

Craig then looked confused and pulled back,"Different places?What do you mean?"

Manny then looked back at her notes and cleared her throat,"Nothing,just forget about it."

Craig then looked up at her,"Are you sure?"Manny seemed to have paused for a long time her face seemed blank.."Y-yea...look I have to meet some people so i'll see tomorow at the halloween party."

"Manny wait!"Craig called after manny.She turned and moved her hair out of her face and smiled with an eager look on her face.

"Yes?"

"Um,"Craig began he wanted to tell her so ba dthat he wanted to be with her that it wasn't just a date and that kiss meant a lot to him instead..."Are you gonna dress in a costume?"

Manny giggled,"Yeah sure why not?"She then waved and walked out.

**MANNY POV**

_That made me so happy Craig actually cared for me and I had proof he did well... at least i think i did..well anyways all I knew was that I had to look extra hot for tomorow's halloween party and if I didn't I needed to think of somehting fast.As I walked past the office I saw Paige there...oh man my stomach felt so sick and I felt like throwing up party because I felt it was all my fault since my dad was the one who did that to her boyfriend.I wanted to get out of there as soon as I could but Paige noticed me.She then began to walk towards me.Shit..._

"Manny!"Paige called me.I silently groaned to myself as i slugishly turned around.I put on an im-in-a-hurry-face .

She came up to me and I had to stop myself from gasping.She looked horrible!Her eyes were red I swear no sign of white or her pretty blue/green eyes..the bags under here eyes were massive and the black circles around her eyes didnt help either.He r nose looked like she gave ruldolph a run for his money.She smelled not good for kinda bad like she hadn't showered.She was wearing a grey sweatshirt with some tight sweatpants.Her hair looked like a pony tail i think...her make-up was smeared.

"Hey Paige."I said in a rushy tone.

"Hey...um Manny..Mr.O..I don't think he's gonna make it."Paige said all of a sudden..Thaat hit me like a ton of bricks,and then some.She then burst into tears crying.  
Why?Why?Why?He was such a good guy and this happens to him I swear to god whoever hti him when I find out i'm gonna make sure he lives such a horrible life that he regrets ever being born!That son of bitch justice is gonna get himon his ass!"Paige said very frustrated.

Okay now this is the weird part part of me agrred with her yet apart of me wanted to slap the shit out of her for saying that to my dad.I guess the anger part got the best of me because I became flustered.

"Manny...are you okay?"Paige asked wiping her salty tears.

"yea um Paige I gotta go please call me it's just I gotta see my dad and im sorry:I cried as I ran away I then turned a corner and leaned against it crying my eyes out.My body began to feel so numb...tiredness took over my body..i then slowly fell to the floor and shook my head.

* * *

My scars were now starting to become an art.I took cutting a line as drawing a line on an easle.Every line meant somehthing and represented something.

I began to start to curve my lines it was indeed more painful or as I called it_ cold feelings_,My arms were really fucke dup so I mostly wore sleaves that were long but weren't attached to my shirt you get it?Well anyways after I had left the school I smoked a joint got a little fucked up,then I came home to find it empty(no suprise) and a note from my mom that meant she was inside the house...miracle!I picked up the note and started to read it

_Manuela,_

_I know I havent been home as I can tell you have changed even more drastic after of whats all going on you manage to pull through,you are such a very strong girl and I am proud you are my daughter,I came home to get some of your father's things...He wants to remember them and write his will.Well I will be home more after this I promise...your father doesn't have much longer but we'll pull through we always do our family always does..Stay strong Manuela!I love you more than the air I breathe..._

_Love you so much_

_Mom_

The next day I woke up with actually going to bed early.At 11 hey for me thats early especially for smokin a joint...well I finally choose what I was gonna be a sexy kitten.I had a lot of thing s on my mind but I decided to take a break.at schoo it was gonna be a short day we got out at 12 I didn't see what was the point of going back to school because we were only there for four hours.To get into the mood I wore a black mini shirt that bearly covered my chest.But under it I had a see through spider web long sleaved fishnetty...type of shirt that covered the rest of my stomach and arms.My hair was fliped out and I had some tight low rider jeans with black high heel sandals.Needless to say school was as boring as fuck.Emma was too invovled in her situation and she seemed to be talkign to Chante a lot more which was weird.Darcy and I talked and she mentioned how cute this new boy was in our class me and darcy are really tight.We had a weird covo it went like...

"So i know about your party girl double.."Darcy grinned as she sipped her soda.She had a cute gray shirt I was jealous of and I kept staring at it,it took my like 15 seconds to respond.

"Um...who told you that?"I tried to act as if wasn't true,I mean I even knew Darcy wasn't that dumb.

"DO you think I'm dumb?The whole school practically knows since you've been best friends with Marissa.."Darcy said sounding kinda hurt at the last part.

I sighed and smiled at Darcy,"Darcy you kow your my best friend..it's just I don't know Marissa thinks i'm her best friend she is like a lil what you call insecure..."I laughed.Darcy laughed with me since she hated Marissa with a passion.I don't know why i said that I just thought it would make her feel better and leave the subject as is so I said it.

Then I told her somehthing and right now as i'm getting my costume ready I regret it.

"Well why don't you come with us?"I invited.She seemed t bright up which made me smile.

"Really?Are you serious!Cool awesome!Yeah totally i'll go!"Darcy said beaming.She laughed as did I.Darcy seems to me like the type who is wild and qwill try anytign so I think she can hadle it besides if Marissa can bring Roxy I can bring Darcy.

Well that was how my day went.I saw Craig in the hall but he was talking to Jimmy and Marco.Speaking of Marco last week I went to stop by his work and it was cool and free late!I got my kitty ears and put it on.I had black tight ass pants that showed my figure.My belly button ring was a little star dangling from a lil moon.My top ,honestly it was basically a black bra but under it had like three inches of a mini corrset.I just had added that to make me seem less slutty.My make-up was awesome I had to admit.With eye linger I did the cats eye.The eye shadow was glittery and my lipgloss was a pearl pinkish color.My hair was curly and it did make me look hot.I wore my sandal/high heel shoes.

Craig was suppose to pick me up any minute.I waite dpateintly by the door and ate some skittles to kill time.Then Craig knocked at the door.As soon as I opened it I was turmned on.

He was zorro.Wearing all black and the mask.His hair was wavish and you could see his beautiful eyes the top showed off his sexy stomach and his sword ...damn he was hot.

Craig looked at me and smiled.

"Manny you look..wow."Craig said blushing a little.

"Thanks you look sexy.So shall we go?"I asked he nodded.The party was just one block down so we decided to walk.

"So Manny..about the kiss the other day.."Craig mentioned.I was really avoiding that because I didn't know what to say.Yet I wanted to say yes Craig I love you but couldn't.

"What about it?"I played it cooley.

"Well did it mean anythign to you?"He asked.The MOST difficult question yet so easy.I wasn't sure myself if it had meant anything.BUt all I knew is that I loved it.So yea maybe it did.

I was about to answer when we got to the door.

"Craig it-"

The door slammed open and a drunk guy fell to the floor dressed as a..um i think.He grabbe dmy leg and I almost fell but thank god Craig got me.

"You okay?"He asked me.

"Yeah...i'm fine."

The party was soo wild I mean it was fun wild and I saw a lot of people there.Craig the whole night was trying to talk to me but then a good song wouild com on and we would dance.Then finally Craig whispered in my ear.

"Can we go into a quiet room?"

I nodded as we went upstairs.He closed the door behind us which meant that he REALLY wanted to talk to me or we were going to have sex and personally I was fine with either one.

"So what did you want to talk to me about."I asked sitting on the bed looking ever so seductive.He gulped but then sat down next to me.

"That kiss did it mean somehting to you?"Craig asked me again.

I then decided to play my cards.

"Well I don't know it was such a long time ago I think I need to refreshen my memory."I said.When Craig smiled I noticed the window was open and the air was blowing in when I turned back...He made me smile.I then felt his hands interwined with mine.He got closer to me and then I felt it.The spark!The heart going out of control along with my emotions.He kissed me.I felt his costume cape flap in the air.He pulled me closer and his tounge touched my lips,asking me permission,I allowed him and opened my mouth.I forgot about how much I loved his french kisses.He was rubbing his tounge against mine just the way I liked it.I began to moan and apparently he liked that because he started to kiss rougher.

"Hey Craig..oh my god.."I heard a voice.

We both got starteled and turned around and saw Ashley.

"Ashley..I..uh.."Craig began the stutter.

_I cocked my eyebrow I mean I was a little embaressed too but why would he be nervous?Did he still have feelings for Ash?_

I didn't want to wait to find out so I just looked at Craig.

"I better go."I said quickly without looking at Craig.Ashley was standing at the doorway and Ashley moved so I bearly fit through.As soon as I exited the room a boom of noise hit me.The music was so damn loud.I pushed passed people dancing in costumes.Then this guy in a dracula costume stopped me.Okay now I was kinda pist off because I wanted to leave.

"Want to be my eternal lover?"He asked in a dracula accent.Yet I could tell his voice a little.

"Sully!"I asked hoping with all my heart it wasn't.

He then took out his fake vampire teeth and smiled.The fake blood on hsi mouth made him look disgusting.

"How'd you know?"He asked in a chuckle.

"I can tell an ass from a mile away now if you excuse me I gotta go."I said in a bitchy tone as I rushed past him.

I walked out of the party and walked to my house.Then as soon as I sat down emotions smacked me hard as I cried.But I gently dabbed my eyes for the make-up wouldn't smear.Then I heard a knock on the door.

"Gee I wonder who that could be?"I asked myself outloud.As I walked to the door I saw Craig standing there.There was an odd silence.He then looked up at me.

"I don't know about you but that kiss meant everything to me."Craig told me.I then had a shocke dface.Boy I wasn't ready for that.

"But..Ashley.."i began.Craig smiled.

"Ashley and I are just friends besides she has a new boyfriend."Craig told me."Did the kiss mean anything to you?"

When I looked up I noticed that Craig was so close to me and I smiled."Yea..it did."

A second later he grabbed me and lifted me up and began kissing me like there was no tomorow and I kissed him right back.I closed the door and moaned as he began slipping his tounge on mine.He then carried he still making out upstairs and into my room.How did he know where it was that I have no idea.

Craig then placed me on the bed and got on top of me.He tounge then began to lick my neck as I messed with his hair.His hand then went over my breast and he squeezed it which made me gasp then he got his other hand and began to undo my bra.He was successful and pulled it off.I on the other hannd took off his shirt and began with his pants.Craig managed to nibble my neck as he took off my pants and as my panst went down so did my shoes and my thong.Craig I took down his pants and his boxers.Craig then took off his shoes as he got on top of me.He then began to grind back and forth on me,and sqeezing my breasts at the same time.

"Oh Craig!"I panted.He began to go harder as I began to pant more.I thought I couldn't take it and he got my hands and pinned them down and I began gasp.

He then did went in me hard and I felt him release in me which made me scream his name and arch my back.He was panting like he just ran one hundred miles and I was too.

"You tired?"He asked me.I smiled.

"No."The truth was that I was.He then got out of me and began to finger me...the rest of the night was a blur...

I awoke the next morning floating on cloud nine.I looked next to me and Craig was still asleep.I smiled and got out of bed not wantign to wake him.I put on a robe and went downstairs.I was so happy and so worn out form last night.Man Iloved halloween it was November first...and man I hoep it was looking as good as it did in october.I then heard footsteps and saw Craig come down rubbing his eyes.He just put on a muscle shirt and some boxers.I grinned and went up to him and kissed him,"Good morning."

"Good morning...um about last night I forgot somehting..."

Craig got me scared because he sounded nervous."What about it?"

"Well we kinda got carried away before I could do two things..."He then went into his bag and pulled out somehting.

I was so scared my heart fell and I thought he was going to say condom.

"One was to ask you if you would be my girlfriend because I can't picture anybody but you."Craig told me.I then jumped on him.

"Of course I would be your girlfriend!"I shouted as I kissed him again."What was the other thing?"

He then took out the thing form hsi hand and it was a ring."Relax it isn't a wedding ring it's a promise ring that me and you will be together forever."

I felt so happy Ithought I was goign to cry Craig actually gave me a promise ring!I took it and out it on my finger.

"Craig..I love you!"I blurted I kissed him and hugged him.

He kissed me back and the whispered in my ear,"I love you too."

* * *

The first week of November was perfect...well not perfect but close.Craig and I were offically a couple and Degrassi knew it.I stopped talkign to Marissa on second thought I only sa her once because Roxy stopped by my house and Marissa was there.Roxy wanted to see the gossip between me and Craig btu Marissa pulled her away.It was obvious Marissa was mad at me but I seriously didn't care.I was tryingot get rid of my addictions but ciggaretes stuck to me.Darcy and I were Best friends now..and Emma..well I odn't knwo I talk to her but she looks liek she has somehtign on her mind.I asked her once and she just avoidied me.I missed spike a hecka lot but I have to many things to handle before I could talk to her.MY grades are pure fails,D's and one A in cheer.Speaking of cheer Paige has been absent and its cool knowing im the only one who knows.Paige called me and she just asked me how spirit squad was going.Thats it.My dad is looking stronger but we all kno that he is goign to die maybe he'll buy a month but nto sure.I visit him everyday with Craig.

Things seemed perfect but then again..when has my life been good for long?

I kissed Craig in the park.We always went there now to watch the lake and the sunset.

"Manny remember when you told me that you wanted to be an actress."Craig began.I remembered that day very well.I then turned my body to face him with my head resting on my hand.

"Yea I remember..."

Craig then took somehtign out of his pocket and gave it to me.I took it and began to unfold it.I began to read it and got so excited.

"Oh mY gosh Craig!"I screamed as I hugged him.The paper was for audtions for a movie in California.IT needed a young girl my age.It gave a number and I bit my lip.

"Craig don't you see my dream can come true thanks to you..."I said sincerly as I looked into his eyes.Craig was the perfect boyfriend to me."You make my dreams come true."He then kissed me softly on the lips.

"Your welcome.Manny I wrote something for you.."Craig began as he got his guitar.He had never wrote anything for me before only Ashley...I then stood up as he Began to play and sing..

_Am I loud and clear or am I breaking up?_

_Am I still your charm or am I just bad luck_

_are we getting closer or we just getting more lost_

_I'll show you mine if you show me yours first_

_lets compare scars i'll tell you whose is worse_

_let's unwrite these pages and replace then with our own words_

_We live on front porches and swing life away we get by just fine here on minimum wage_

_if love is a labor i'll slave to the end I wont cross these streets until you hold my hand_

_Ive been here so long i think its time to move,the winters too cold the summers over too soon_

_let's pack our bags and settle where palm trees grow_

_ive got some friends some that I hardly know we had some times I wouldnt trade for the world_

_We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go_

_We live on front porches and swing life away we get by just fine here on minimum wage_

_if love is a labor i'll slave to the end I wont cross these streets until you hold my hand_

_until you hold my hand _

_I'll show you mine if you show me yours first_

_lets compare scars i'll tell you whose is worse_

_let's unwrite these pages and replace then with our own words_

_We lIve on front porches and swing life away we get by just fine here on minimum wage_

_if love is a labor i'll slave to the end I wont cross these streets until you hold my hand_

_swing life away swing life away swing life away swing life away_

He then finshed and out down hsi guitar my heart was litterally melting over him.I truely felt liek I was in love with him.My heart stopped beating,yet pumped sp fast at the same time.My breathe was taken away.He looked at me wantign to say somehting.I completly forgot that I was quiet.I then hugged him.

"Craig that was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me thank you!"I thanked.He hugged me back.

"I'm glad you liked it."Craig said back to me.I kissed him and he kissed me back.I couldn't believe hhow happy I was.Craig then pulled a radio out of nowhere.

"Wow where did that come from?"I asked while adding a laugh.He the played my favorite slow song..of all time and the stood up and held his hand out,

"Wanna dance?"I smiled and took his hand as he pulled me up.

"Yes." I said in awe.He took my hand and I listened as the music played.

He then wrapped his arms around my waist and I wrapped mine around his neck.

I looked up at Craig and he began to mouth

"_It's Undeniable..that we should be together...It's unbelievable how I used to say that i'd fall never...The basis I need to know,if you don't know just how I feel then let me show you that i'm for real...If all things in time,time will reveal..Yeah."_

Craig spun me and pulled me close to him and he began to sing with the music.

"_One..Your like a dream come true...Two..just wanna be with you...Three..girl it's plain to see that your the only one for me...Four...repeat steps one through three..Five make you fall in love with me...If I ever belive my work is done..then I start back at one..."_

We then stopped dancing even through the music didn't stopped playing.We kissed and I got his cap that he had on and ran with it.He chased after me and I kept running...

_"So incrediable..the way things work themselves out..And all emotional once you know that it's all about babe...And undesirable...for us to be apart...Never would of made it very far...Cause you know you got the keys to my heart..cause"_

Craig then caught up to me and gently tackled me down to the ground and we began laughing together.I put the hat on me and he took it but then I got o top of him and began tickleing him.

""_One..Your like a dream come true...Two..just wanna be with you...Three..girl it's plain to see that your the only one for me...Four...repeat steps one through three..Five make you fall in love with me...If I ever belive my work is done..then I start back at one..."_

He then got me and put me on his back then stood up and gave me a piggyback ride.I began laughing and through my arms into the air and at that moment I felt free.I actually felt like a bird running away from this life..escapign and my dreams weren't dar away.Things were at slow motion for me.Craig was laughing runnign really fast.I was laughing as well smiling my arms raised like birds..unaware of the possiblilty I could fall.

The park seemed more beautiful the children playing in the playground.Marissa,my dad,home.school,life.. all before this point didn't matter..It was just me and Craig but fresh off new.At that moment I coulda said my dream came true I really did feel like a bird I really did feel free...

"_Say farewell to the dark night...I see the comming of the sun...I feel like a little child..whoese life just begun...You came and breathed new life Into this lonely heart of mine...You through out the life line...just in the nick of tiimmmeeee..."_

We then stopped and he put he down.I was laughing so hard for no reason I swear people coulda thought we were high and I wouldn't blame them.

"Manny I love you."Craig said suddenly.I was taken aback btu I smiled because i knew my response to him.

"I love you too."

The night had settled and Iloved him and he loved me it was beautiful love.At eight thirty was time fro Craig to go home because he had chores and I well..just wanted to get to sleep because my addictions were kicking in.

"Let me walk you home."Craig told me as we walked past his house.

"Craig..don't be silly my house is liek the next street."I giggled as I turned for my goodnight kiss.

"But it's dark and I get worried."Craig said as he began hugging me.

"Craig please just trust me and let me walk okay..."I begged him.He then looked worried and got hsi cell phone out.He dialed my number and I got my phoen and laughed.

"What Craig?"

He then grinned his sly sexy grin."Well your going to stay on the phone with me until you get home so I can make sure."Craig said.I rolled my eyes.

"Fine."I talked to the phone as I began walking away.Amused with Craig's actions I forgot to give him hsi goodnight kiss.

"I can't believe you forgot my goodnight kiss..."Craig said smoothly.

I shook my head as a cold wind slapped my arms."Sorry well i can see my house okay goodnight I love you."

He then kissed the phone i'm guessing and told me,"I love you too."I hung up the phone and walked towards my house.I suddenly heard footsteps behind me.I quickly turned around and saw nothginbut the cold air and empty dark streets.I really regreted Craig not walking me .I turned back around and saw a guy in front of me.

"AH-"Before I could scream he covered my mouth.The guy had a black ski mask on and was wearing all black.He then pushed me down to the floor.

"Urgh!"I grunted as I fell.When I tried to scream three other guys looking exactly the same came.I was so scared couldn't breathe.My arms were shaking so bad.One got my arms,one got my legs,one was carrying the rest of my body and one seemed to keep watch.My door was open..what the hell.My mind was racing,were they gonna kill me?Were their gonna rape me?What the hell were they gonna do?They dropped me to the floor and I screamed bad idea I felt a sudden blow to my side.

"Oww!"I cired as I grabbed my side and fell.Then they kicked my stomach."Please stop!"I pleaded as I began coughing.The pain was so intense tears were commign out of my eyes.Then they began kickign at random spots all each with a blow of pain.My mind was gong dizzy yet the pain was fuzzy and slipping away..was I dying?Then I felt my pants go down before I blacked out...

* * *

Wow sorry I havent updated but man I have been busy!Well anyways i kno i didn't do a good job on the fluff and im sorry its just other things needed to be taken care of.Well Craig and manny are together so that's good!So how was the ending of th chappy?Well wasit intense?Well you saw Marissa is a back stabbing whore...I mean.. lol well yea well if you thought this chap was good just wait till the next chapter!and sorry i didnt add the emma/sean/jay thing it WILL be in the next chapter all I kno is that triangle plays a BIG part.well here are ur sneek peeks!

enjoy...

**"It was you that night?"I asked in a gasp.Out of all people why was it him or had to be him.**

**"Well you figured it out you little whore..trust me this is no threat if you tell anybody i'll fucken kill you...and maybe Craig too."He told me.I shook with fear.He then kinda pushed me against the lockers ass I hissed rubbing my bruised arms.**

**I then felt somehting touch my arm."Get away!"I screamed.I turned to see Craig who had a pist off face.**

**"We need to talk."He said I then looked behind him and saw Marissa smiling.**

**-------**

**Emma then kissed Jay.The kiss got more passionate as he began to sit her down onhsi lap.She loved his kisses and needed more of his kisses.She began to feel his hard abs and he began to move his hands down to her ass.She took off his shirt getting too into the moment and he took off hers.He was about to unhook her bra when they heard.**

**"What the hell?"They both turned to see Sean**

**"Sean..it was..I-"**

**"YOu little slut!"Sean yelled at her.Emma stood quiet knowing what she did was wrong.**

**"Don't call her that!"Jay yelled.Sean then came and socked him right in the face,**

**"and you supposible my best friend!"**


	8. Haunted

**Thank you guys so much for your reviews they mean a lot to me well thank you so so so so much!Well anyways what did you guys think of the last chapter!Would that count as a cliffy?I don't think so but if it was for you im so sorry:) well anyways I kno i dissapointed you on the fluff I was trying to make it better.I am so sorry for all my mistakes i made but yea...well this chappy got me a lot of reviews so im so happy:)**

**Oh and I kno you guys were confused on how Craig must've belived marissa lol i meant it to be like that you will read what really is going on. Also!This chappy has more Emma as well as J.T in it so I hoep you enjoy it!well anyways yea i am going to start on my other stories and we have a winner! It's Moulin Rouge thats gonna be my next story unless you guys want it to be titanic...well its up to you well I hope u like this chapter! Trust me ...your gonna freak! (i really dunno if u r but if u do thats cool!) Oh and if u have any of the songs i name my chapters after and you play them when u r reading the chapter it's cool! Cause u get the feeling!**

Summary:Manny finally got her life back together,friends with Craig even..but when a new girl comes will she

take her back to the life that she just recovered?Or even worse?Ashley comes back from London..and not sure of the relationship

rated:pg-13 for violence,drug use,breif sex,language,situations involving teens

Disclaimer:I do not own Degrassi

warnings:in future chapters there may be a scene not meant for younger audience which i will change the ratings

a/n:even if i dont get that much reviews i will continue to update I really fell in love with the plot and

i think this teaches us a lesson to always choose the right friends and learn to say no.

**this is the same chapter except i changed the sneek peek!**

* * *

_Last time on Temptation..._

_Marissa smoked a ciggarette and laughed,"Yeah she is such a whore."_

_"She is? I bought some shit from her at a party the other day."A guy said._

_"Well that's cause she's a loose whore who sells cheap shit let the word get round..trust me I sell the real shit!Honestly when I was with gio she slept with him I mean that ain't right."Marissa laughed as she almost choaked form the smoke comming from her mouth._

_.He then carried he still making out upstairs and into my room.How did he know where it was that I have no idea._

_Craig then placed me on the bed and got on top of me._

_"Oww!"I cired as I grabbed my side and fell.Then they kicked my stomach."Please stop!"I pleaded as I began coughing.The pain was so intense tears were commign out of my eyes.Then they began kickign at random spots all each with a blow of pain.My mind was gong dizzy yet the pain was fuzzy and slipping away..was I dying?Then I felt my pants go down before I blacked out..._

* * *

_Long lost words whisper slowly to me still can't find what keeps me here when all this time i've been so hallow inside,i know your still there_

_Watching me wanting me I can feel you pull me down fearing you loving you,I wont let you pull me down_

_hunting you i can smell you alive your heart pounding in my head,_

_watching me wanting me i can feel you pull me down saving me rapping me watching me..._

_Watching me wanting me I can feel you pull me down fearing you loving you,I wont let you pull me down_

* * *

**Chapter 8:**Haunted 

_I don't really remember much of last night...all i remember is getting kicked thats it.It frustrates me that I can't remember more.I woke up on the living room floor,as soon as i woke up a jolt of pain went up my body that made me scream without even wanting to.My eyes were sticky that meant i must've been crying..right?Well I must've because someone kicked me but why was I in so much pain?How did I even get into the house?My mind is frustrated because I can't seem to remember jack shit.As I looked around me there was blood on the floor._

_"Oh my god!"I gasped.I looked at myself and realized it was from me.I got up but then fell right back to the ground.Pain was whispping my body abusing it.Tears were comming out of my eyes liek water come s out of the fosset.My arms were shaking so much I swear it freaked me out I couldn't control it.I thought I was going crazy because all this was happening.I dashed to my cell phone I knew who I needed to call..._

**Knock Knock**

Emma heard someone at the door.She was groggy just from waking up from a dream.Her blonde hair was messy and tangled while her eyes were glossy.Her body was warm from being under the covers and as soon as she took them off her a cold breeze hit her liek a thousand knives stabbing her body.

"Cumin'."Emma moaned as she stood up and wrapping the blanket around her.As she opened the door she gasped.

"Sean!"Emma hissed as she stepped outside and closed the door.She then turned to face him

"Um hi.."Sean said looking at her akwardly.He had his black jacket on with some black jeans.

"Sean..I really didn't expect to see anyone today.."Emma said as she blushed.

Sean examined her and then said slowly."Yeah.I can tell."

Emma laughed and hit Sean playfully."Shut up."

Sean playfully rubbed his arm and began to chuckle.

Emma then looked around her to see if anyone was passing by."So why did you come?"

Sean scratched his head," Actually I ws hoping that you would want to hang out like old times..."

Emma blushed inside she was screaming out of happiness!A smile crept on hsi face just her Sean alone together!

"UM sure...i'll go get ready...now."Emma tried to contain her excitement."Come in."She went upstairs and knocked on her parents door.

"Come in."Spike said.Emma opened the door and entered closng her eyes.

"is it safe?"Emma joked.

Snake laughed,"Yes Emmers so what is it that you want?"

Emma then opedn her eyes and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Well Sean's downstiars and he wants to hang out with me and all my chores are done my cell phone is on and i'll be careful so can I go?"Emma asked.

Snake looked at Spike,"If it's alright with your mother."

"Sure Em you can go but call when your comming back okay?"Spike said.Emma smiled.

"Thanks."Emma said as she was about to go out the door...  
"Em!"Spike called after her daughter.

Emma turned around,"Yes?"

"We were concerned..."Spike began looking at Snake.Emam then felt her heart drop.

"A-about?"

"Well about Manny...is she alright?"Spike asked.

Emma didn't mean to sound like a bitch but Manny made her own decisions and whatever situation she was in was her fault and since she chose Marissa over her Emma hardly knew anything.

"I guess ..well i gotta go..bye."Emma said as she walked out he door.

* * *

**Manny POV**

I got the phone and began to call Craig's number but then I canceled it.

"What would he do what would he say will he believe me?"I said outloud to myself.I couldn't do it.I then painfully went upstairs and went to my bedroom.I got some sweat pants and a long sleaved black shirt and then went into the shower.I began to strip my clothes off and I felt the warm foggy mist comming from the shower rub against my body.I stepped into the shower and I felt pain but it felt good to feel the pain.My body was a real damage...

My arms full of cuts and dry blood,my body bruised,cuts on my body,my stomach was all purple it hurt to look at it.I then felt my throat to but tight I began to breathe faster my cravings were kicking in.

"No,no,no!"I cried out loud.I then slid down against the shower fall and curled up in a ball.

"God can you hear me?"I whispered.My emotions were out of control all of a sudden i felt sleepy.I knew if I fell asleep right here then I would drown

._BUt then again who would care?**Craig would!**Am I sure he would just go back to Ashley?**He loves you what are you talking about!He told you he loved you!**_

_He also told me I was his worst mistake and he was Ashley last year...**Stop thinking about the past if you did the you two wouldn't be talking now he dumped Ashley for you.You ARE with Craig now!**But it's too good to be true...besides what would Craig or the school say whren they found out what happened with me?**Well you don't even know for sure what happened to you so don't worry about it just call Craig and explain to him! **He'll think i'm a slut like the whole school does..._

_I then just stood up and looked around me. I wasn't goign to let people take control of my life I am for once and i'm gonna prove to the other people that I have changed.My cravings,my sluttiness,everything that is bad is going to be gone!_

_Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?_

_I heard my cell phone ring and I got out of the shower and I grabbed my cell phone and answered._

"Hello?"I asked my voice was shaking because I was so cold.I got a towel and wrapped it around me and I felt a little bit better.

"Hey Sweety did you make it home last night?"I reconized the smooth voice.The voice of which I loved.

"Yeah Craig...I...made it."I was being honest wasn't I?I began to dry myself to get ready for the day.

"Hey um listen since last night was so wonderful I was wondering if maybe me and you can do it again except with a better ending at your house."Craig suggested.I knew right away he meant sex and I was all for it since he IS the sex god to me.I could feel my cheeks blush.Then i looked at my scars and bruises..there is no way I was gonna let Craig see me like this...no way in hell.

"Craig I would love that but um,"_I paused i needed to think of somehting fast!_,"cough oh um sorry i've been feeling quite sick lately."I appologized.

He then asked,"Um do you want me to go over and bring you some soup?"

I smiled.Craig really does care about me and I feel so bad for lying to him!"UM i'm sure i'm going to be asleep all day.So yeah i'll see you in school though okay?"I told him.

He paused and then said uneasy,"Um okay...well love you."

"Love you too bye!."I hung up the phone.

I nervously then went back and sat down."Okay...okay..did-what-god!"I couldn't think._what happened last night?Was i rapped?Oh god please be no I have so many bruises on me..._

I then got up and decided to take a walk I coudn't think in this hell hole.I then quickly got my sweats and a sweatshirt.Put my hair down and my side bangs falling covering my eye.I then was about to head out the door when my heart stopped when I saw who it was.I then heard my cell phone ringing I quickly looked down and it said :Emma.

* * *

Craig just looked at his phone and thought the conversation was weird.he then heard a knock on hsi door.He didn't want to get it but he knew Joey or Angie was home.So he groaned and slugishly walked to the door.When he opened it he was shocked as hell.His mouth began to quiver and his heartbeat sped up.The person just grinned at him. 

Craig then managed to say,"J-jimmy?"

It would've been a normal except..Jimmy was standing..he was actually standing up.Craig could hardly believe it.

"Yeah im back..."Jimmy smiled.Craig then noticed a cane and Jimmy saw Craig looking at it.

"Um yea i'm gonan need this but it's better than a wheelchair right?"Jimmy laughed.

Craig smiled and then ran and hugged Jimmy.

"Oh man!oh man..."Was all that Craig could say

* * *

Ellie was sitting down bored out of her mind while Marco was running around liek crazy trying to fill in orders. 

"One coffee?Okay oh three and a late?"Marco scribled down on a paper and ran to the back then Alex came and smiled as she saw Ellie.Ellie was not that glad to see her she seemed to be friends with anyone except her who knew she might even become friends with Tobey...

"Hey El Marco is busy huh maybe he can get us to get some extra coffee."alex smirked.

Ellie groaned."Um he's busy besides i already ordered mines."

Alex gave Ellie a weird stare."Um yea so have you been in all we haven't talked in a long ass time."Alex said.

Ellie sipped her coffee and looked at Alex,"Well you've been hanging with Paige."

"Well yeah.Who woulda thought?"Alex smiled.

"I thought you hated her?"Ellie asked.Alex then took some of Ellie's coffee.

"Yeah but now we're cool...um is there somehting bothering you?"Alex asked.

Ellie sighed.She didn't know weither to tell Alex the truth.

"Well actually..I-"

"Alex!"Maroc said excitedly.He out hsi hat down and gave her a quick hug.

"Sweaty.."Alex commented Marco chuckled.

"Well running back and fourth it seems to do that to you."Marco sighed as he sat down.

"Coffee?"Ellie offered holding the cup next to him.Marco then sighed and out his hands up,"No thanks El,but being around coffee for almost three months ya it's ...no."Marco smiled.

Ellie grinned and put it down.

"So girls how about we go to the movies?"Marco suggested.

"Sure."Ellie and Alex said at the same time.Marco chuckled.

"Um can we invite Paige?"Alex asked.

Ellie was getting frustrated."Why not?I mean she is your guy's best friend!"

She then got up and pushed n her chair and left.

"What was that about?"Marco asked.

Alex then sighed as she looked at Ellie's empty seat.

* * *

"Sean what are you doing here?"I asked in shock.I couldn't belive he was here at my house why would he be. 

"Well I need to ask you something.."Sean said a little bitterly he looked angry.

"What is it?"I asked him sounded a little nervous.he was sweating so im guessing he ran to my house.I didn't want to be rude so I opened my door and gestured for him to come in.

"So last year you and Emma were still tight right?"He asked me while comming in.

"Yea..we were why?"I asked a little cautious.

"What happened?"Sean suddenly asked.

"Excuse me?"I said nervously.

"What happened with Emma last year..."Sean said angrily.

My emotions were going haywire."Look just leave me alone Sean i'm actually on my way out."I told him pointing towards the door.

"Manny you don't fucken get it I need to know I heard rumors and I just need to kno!"Sean yelled.

I began to get nervous.My body started to get numb.What if I blabbed accidently then Emma would never forgive me!

"Tell me Manny!"Sean yelled at me with fire in his eyes.

"Look Emma should be the one telling you not me!"I yelled so loud tears escapped my eyes.

"Manny what happened between Emma and Jay?"sean asked very calmly.He began to walk closer to me.

I took a deep breath."Sean..I can't I mean people forgotten about that if you know and cause Drama it's gonna resurface and Emma's life is gonna be hell again.."

"Manny please I need to know."Sean said in a desperate tone.

"Sean!GO,...now."I yelled pointng to the door.

Sean just looked at me and walked out.I began to cry a little bit but just wipped my tears and fixed myself a little bit and began to walk out.

I began to jog,when i was pregnant in 9th grade the jog made me relize things maybe this would too.I got some headphones and began to listen to music.

_So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me Off guard, red handed Now I'm far from lonely Asleep I still see you lying next to me So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I.. I need something else Would someone please just give me Hit me, knock me out And let me go back to sleep I can laugh All I want inside I still am empty So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I...I'll be just fine Pretending I'm not I'm far from lonely And it's all that I've got _I guess, _I remember every glance you shot me Un-harmed, I'm losing weight and some body heat I squoze so hard  
I stopped your heart from beating So deep that I didn't even scream fuck me, I.._I'll be just fine _Pretending I'm not I'm far from lonely And it's all that I've got And it's all that I've got  
Yeah, it's all that I've got It's all that I've got It's all that I've got It's all that I've got!_

_I just stopped and looked at _myself in the reflection of the water.Thsi wasn't me my style wasn't me.Maybe if I changed my looks Iwould change the way I felt of myself..

I then stared at the puddle when i saw a familar face in the reflection.It was Roxy.She smiled at me and I noticed that AMrissa wasn't there.  
"Marissa is acting like a bitch,wanna get high?"She asked me.I looked at her and felt a lump in my throat the words no were comming up but  
"Yea."Is what I saidI was shocked with my answer.I seriously felt like drunk you know when you know what your doing btu you can't stop it.  
"So yeah you seem cool you know.I don't know why Marissa is acting like a bitch with you."Roxy explained as we headed towards my house.Roxy was just talking about how her mom's boyfriend would beat her and she could relate to Marissa.  
"What?"I asked her about the Marissa.Roxy smiled as if it was a normal question.  
"Her mom's boyfriend beats her...really bad and he rmom is too much of a drunk to do shit."Roxy explained.I stopped and Roxy looked at me.I then noticed we were in my front steps.  
"Thsi is your house?"She asked me.  
"Y-yea..."I replied still trying to soak in the information.We stepped inside my house and she looked around."Nice apartment."(a/n i saw venus and yea)  
"Well yeah anyways I brought some crystal."Roxy said as she put her bag down.She then looked around,"Where's your parents?"  
"In the hospital."I replied.When i said it it made me realize that my dad was there and maybe I should go tomrow and visit him...  
"Thats sucks,"Roxy said as she took out the Crystal with a smirk on her face as if she was aniticipating this..."Well c'mon it goes stright to you head."  
I nodded and then I got some vodka and was ready,"Well let's get fucked up."  
"Hell yea to that!"Roxy grinned as she started to get her pipe.

* * *

Craig and Jimmy were sitting in his garage.Along with Marco Hazel,Paige,and Ellie.  
"Well we're soo glad that this worked out."Paige grinned.She had a beer in her hand but wasn't drunk.  
"yea it was a pain I swear you don't know how many nights i spend crying."Jimmy said he then looked at everyone's faces.,"But my dad's money fixed it all and made it from years to months."  
"Well Jimmy we're really glad."Ellie smiled.  
"So we can really start with the band again!"Jimmy said excitedly.  
"Yea and maybe we can get on the road!"Marco said.Ellie smiled and so did Paige.  
"Are you sure?I mean you just got back from the hospital."Hazel said very concerned.Craig then jumped into the conversation.  
"Of course he is!"Craig chriped."C'mon Haze!"  
"Fine...just as long as your up to it."Hazel told Jimmy.  
"I am very sure."Jimmy smiled as he kissed Hazel on the lips.  
"Well Mr.Popular let's have a big party to celebrate!"Paige suggested.  
"Party?"Ellie said in a shocked voice.  
"Yea i mean why not when people find out about Jimmy thier going to want to celebrate right?"Marco said.  
"Yeah and I know where we can have the party!"Craig smirked.

* * *

**NORMAL POV**

Roxy went up to Manny's room to leave her bag there and Manny was comming up too.She then saw Manny's phone ring.  
She giggled and saw it said :Craig my love  
"How corny!"Roxy laughed.She then picked it up.  
"Hello?"Craig asked.  
"Hey my love!"Roxy laughed uncontrolably.  
"Manny what?Are you okay?"Craig asked.  
Roxy then flopped on Manny's bed and began to talk,"Um..haha!Elephants but birds!"  
"Manny!You don't sound like you what's going on?"Craig demanded sounding pist.  
"Look can't a girl get high?"Roxy snorted.  
"What Manny what the hell?What happened to want to change!"Craig asked her again now furious.  
"Hey you don't have me on a whip..besides I like getting high like..a bird!"Roxy laughed.

"Manny what's going on you said your mom would be home today what are you doing getting stonned?"Craig asked rather worried than angry.  
Roxy the gasped and hing up the phone and ran towards Manny.  
"Manny your mom is um um..damn i forgot!"Roxy laughed.manny was laying down on the floor looking up at her ceiling.  
"I am soo fucked up rightnow but I LOVE IT!"Manny yelled.  
"Let's play some music!"Roxy suggested as she went towards Manny's radio and played the music loudly.She blasted the radio so high that manny didn't hear her phone ringing.  
"_Hola you have reached the Santos residence we are sorry we are not home please leave a message...BEEEP"_

_"Manuella it's me mami your father is oiong to be kept at home becaus ehe rather much be here than at th ehospital a nurse will be arriving soon with me well I will see you honey I love you mami."_

Manny and Roxy then started dancing to the music"Wohooo!"  
Thier laughter closed the night.  
The pale moonlight gently touched the houses like a mothers hand to her child's face.The city seemed so quiet yet like

anything could happen and you knew it would.As we look through a window we can see two girls.

Then a car pulls up and the blinding lights fade as the car turns off.

"They're comming!"Roxy shouted facing Manny.

"What?"Manny asked still shocked.

"What the hell you said-"

"I know what I said!"Manny yelled.

"Well we're gonna get caught!"Roxy panicked.She walked around the room and started picking things up.

"Do we flush em' ?"Manny asked.Roxy looked and was about to protest when they heard footsteps.

"Manuella!We're home."Her mother said as she walked upstairs.She heard whispers,as she opened the door knob.

Manny got freaked so shit threw the drugs in the closet and also Roxy.  
She ran to her mirror but before she could get ot it to check hwo she looked her mom had opened the door.  
"God haven't you ever heard of privacy!"Manny snapped as her mom as she entered her room.  
"Excuse me manuella what ever happened to a hello or nice to see you mom?"Ms.Santos snapped right back at her.  
Manny was waaayy to stoned to care about what she was doing.  
"Well where's dad?Huh?Tell me?Where's the damn nurse and where were you all thoese days i needed you!"Manny yelled at her mom taking a step closer.  
"Manuella.."The mom said sternly.  
"No seriously mom where the fuck were you and I know you weren't in the hospital all that damn time i'm not stupid!"Manny shouted as she tightened her fists.  
"Man-"

"No tell me the damn truth!"Manny shouted with tears in her eyes both form the smoking that made her eyes glossy and her true feelings comming out.  
_SLAP._

Manny felt a hot/icy pain across her face and something wet also.Her hand quickyl clasped over the hot icy spot and she looked at her mom with shocked eyes.  
"fuck you."Was all that Manny said as she opened her closet and grabbed Roxy.  
The mom looked shocked at both what she did and the fact that her daughter just pulled a girl out of her closet.  
"Mauella wait!"Her mom shouted after her.But Manny had already left the apartment with Roxy.  
Manny ran outside absent mindedly dragging Roxy.  
"Fuck that i'm not giong back!"Manny yelled half laughing and half crying.  
"Wow...that was intense!"Roxy said smiling showing off her teeth.  
"Where in the fuck can i go!"Manny asked desperate."I knew it was a bad idea to do this shit!"She yelled pacing back and fourth.  
"hey relax look I gotta get home..well if you can call it a home i'm sure you'll figure somehting out."Roxy smiled after hugging Manny.  
"But can't I just stay with you?"Manny shivered realizing that she had a tube top while Roxy had a sweater.

"No because my house is yeah so well bye."Roxy said joggin away before Manny coudl say another word.

Manny then went to Emma's house and was going to sneek in the basement when she heard some noises.  
Manny quietly tried not to make a sound besides form the noises Manny heard she could really hear her own breathing and heartbeat.She turned the corner and saw Emma with Jay about to go home.

Manny was about to gasp but luckily she had some common sense to shut her mouth.She just crept out of Emma's basement.She looked around there is no way she was going to Craig's house.Nobody would be awake this late.She went to the park where she had a lot of memories.She never thought she would be this desperate.

She went by in the kids jungle gym.She sat down in the little square and layed down.She cold metal made her freeze more.Then her stupid cravings were kicking in.She just shivered and fell asleep.

The next moring Manny woke up.She then realized it was Monday."Oh shit!"

manny stood up and slid on the sand and fell."Ow mother f-in god!"manny cursed as she limped and began to run to her house ot get some clothes.

She crossed the street making sure nobody saw her.As she stepped up the stairs and reached the door that led to her apartment she opened the door quietly.She noticed her mom was asleep on the couch.

manny crept to her room and quietly closed the door.She didn't see her dad maybe he wa sin the room.She grabbed her bag and got all her clothes an dout them in.She then got another bag and put her c.d and her most valuble things in there.She made sure she had everything that she needed.As oon as Manny was sure.She wrote a letter and went to her dad's room and saw he was sleeping.She placed the note next to him then left.She made it throgh without waking up anyone.She had checked the time before she left and it was 9:00am boy she was late.

She ran back to the park and then couldn't decide where to go.She went to the ravine.It was nothign liek she expected just a bunch of bushes and tree's.So she left her backs under a pile of leaves and changed her pants.She got a black tank top and put a black see through long sleaved shirt on top.She put a black scarf and got a black sweater.She had to admit it did look like she was going to a funeral.Manny didn't care she jumped the fence and went inside Degrassi.

**Manny POV**

I went to Degrassi and I was so damn tired but couldn't afford to miss school i was failing almost all my classes.I was swalking to my locker when I reconized a face I didn't want to see..My body was getting hotter because he actually wanted to talk to me.I haven't talked to him in the longest.  
"Hey Manny."he spoke to me.I rolled my eyes and opened my locker.I looked around and the halls were empty obviously everyone was in class.So why wasn't he?man I wish Craig were here he hated him and would tell him to fuck off.  
SLAM!  
He slapped my locker making me jump in startlement but didn't want to show him that I was scared.  
"What do you want?"I asked sternly.  
He then pushed me aginst the locker and whispered in my ear,"To see if you enjoyed our evening the other night..."  
At that moment all my thoughts were spinning round and round an dI couldn't movie.I swear I was so scared and he could tell because the way he put on his grin.  
"Did you like it?"He asked me smiling.I wanted to cry.I actually liked him before.I looked down and not at him.  
_RRIIINNNNNGGGGGGG_

""It was you that night?"I asked in a gasp.Out of all people why was it him or had to be him.

"Well you figured it out you little whore..trust me this is no threat if you tell anybody i'll fucken kill you...and maybe Craig too."He told me.I shook with fear.He then kinda pushed me against the lockers ass I hissed rubbing my bruised arms.

I then felt something touch my arm."Get away!"I screamed.I turned to see Craig who had a pist off face.

"We need to talk."He said I then looked behind him and saw Marissa smiling.

"About?"I asked not facing him.

"Well what was up with you this weekend no phone calls and the rumors i'v heard about you with another guy.."Craig began.How could he belive all those rumors?

"And you actually believe them?"I cried.He then saw my face and loked worried.My tears were comming down and my nose was red as a cherry.

"No i just want to know what's going on and why were you talking to him?"Craig asked.I didn't want to tell him what happened at the rate he is going now he won't belive me.

"He-just-I don't know okay?Look can we forget about this?And it looks like you were talking to Marissa?I thought you hated her."I said on the defensive.I thought it was a pretty good cover up given the situation.

"What?I oh that Marissa was just telling me some shit about how you got kicked out is it true?"Craig then aske dme concerned.I turned to look at Marissa and she smiled sweetly.How the hell di dshe know?Well duh Roxy.That little lying bitch!I looked at Craig I suddenly felt a huge lump in my throat and nacious from the previous night.Maybe i didn't look too good.

"Craig since when do you believe Marissa?"I asked him accusingly.

"Your right.Your right."Craig smiled and then he was abot to kiss me.Oh my god if he kissed me he'd taste the drugs and maybe even my gorss breath.

"Craig I-Emma!What happened?"I saw Emma comming over crying.Thank god for what ever happened to Emma well not that i'mglad she's cryign but she sure saved me from this one.

"Craig's im gonna go and see about-"I gestured my head towards Emma.

Craih then looked at Emma and nodded."Okay bye manny love you see you later."He then kissed my cheek.

I smiled and went towards Emma kinda running."Oh my god Em what happened?"

She was choaking on her own teard aand I felt guilty all of a sudden how she was crying I dunno why but I was.

"S-sean h-hates me!"Emma choake don her words.I then immidatly hugged her.

"Oh honey please don't cry!"I started rubbing her back.

"What happened!"I asked looking at her and her puffy eyes.I still remembered last night what i had saw so i kinda figured what happened yet wanted her story you never know right?

"Well..."

**Last night.**

Emma then kissed Jay.The kiss got more passionate as he began to sit her down onhsi lap.She loved his kisses and needed more of his kisses.She began to feel his hard abs and he began to move his hands down to her ass.She took off his shirt getting too into the moment and he took off hers.He was about to unhook her bra when they heard.

"What the hell?"They both turned to see Sean

"Sean..it was..I-"

"YOu little slut!"Sean yelled at her.Emma stood quiet knowing what she did was wrong.

"Don't call her that!"Jay yelled.Sean then came and socked him right in the face,

"and you supposibly my best friend!"sean yelled socking Jay.

Jay then started socking him back.Then Sean pushed jay off him when Emma got inbetween them.

"Sean what I do is none of your buisness!"Emma shouted.

"After all those signals none of you ever talk to me again!"He shouted before leaving.

"And then yea.."Emma explained.I just hugged Emma as I felt her moist eyes rub onto my back.

"And oh my god I just don't know what to do!I swear if I hear one more awful thing i'll burst!"Emma cried.

I then made an expression but shoveed it away.There is no way I could tell her what was going on that woudl be so selfish.I couldn't ask to stay wit her no way.

"Oh Em i'm so sorry!"I said quietly as I hugged her.She then sniffeled and smiled.

"Well yea I have to go to class and so do you i'm gonan stop by my locker first okay."She said.I nodded as she began walking away slowly.

I began to walk down the hall when my cell phone bgean to ring:Mami.

Oh crap.I hardly remember what i sai dto her but all I know is that it wasn't good I knew I had to face her sometime.I answered the phone.

"Hola?"I said nervously.

"Manuella Santos where are you at!"She screamed at me.I jumped and I guess a couple of peole heard her because they stared at me I just went into an empty doorspace where the room was empty.

"At school mom."I said with a shakey voice.Oh no!There it went the feeling the bad somehting is goign to happen feeling.

My mom began to cry harder and harder.

"Mom i'm so sorry!Look i'll come home okay i'll explain I know I messed up i'm so-"

"Don't bother manuella I wouldn't waste my tears on you at the moment!"She snapped still sobbing."If you would stop thinking of yourself for once you would see that you always need the damn attention with the clothes you wear with boys!You are very selfish an dthis will cost you ! Your father died last night! In his sleep!He would've at least wanted a love you goodbye but no! you are so selfish!"My mom began to cry.

All my emotions clashed.I couldn't move speak,talk,do anything.I coudln't even think.I dropped my sell phone and just stood there.Not moving one muscle...all of a sudden everything turned black.

Craig was by his locker when he heard an ambulance.Then he saw Jimmy run to see what is going on.  
"What happened?"Craig asked interested in who was hurt.Jimmy didn't say a word and just looked at Craig.  
"What's going on?"Craig sked sternly.  
"It's Manny..."

* * *

**wow so sos so sorry it took me foreva but remember i have school and stuff.well i hoped u liked it well i hope u review!**

**pretty please!Well i already started writting the next chappy so well yeah well THANKS YOU GUYS I LOVE YOU!**

**here's ur sneek peeks:**

then saw J.T walk away and that's when I went up to Manny.Jay had left because he guessed that I already left.

"Hey."I said to Manny.For some reason she looked at me like if she was dissapointed.

"Oh wow your actually saying hi to me?"She said astonished.I gave her a dry look.

**XX**

"Well since you got kicke dout do you wanna stay with me?"Craig asked her.Manny smiled.  
"Sure...I mean we can have a little fun right?"Manny said with a grin.

"You fucken bitch your dad kiled my boyfriend!"Paige yelled as she slapped Manny.Manny then felt her cheek.Everyone around them starred as Manny clentched her fist.

**XX**

"Oh my god Manny I fucked up."Emma told Manny.Manny knew what she was gong to say.  
"Please don't tell me..."


	9. Breaking The Habbit

**Thank you guys all for the reviews!well i really appreciate them now if u thought i already was more than halfway through my story u were wrong smiles! it bearly is starting so i can guarantee this story will be up longer!well yes as you can see Manny's dad did die in the last chapter I just needed something to shock people and i bet u weren't expecting that and if u were then ur thinking like me.**

**Okay i havent dont this before so read this! I am taking suggestions! yup thats right. it can be a couple,a sub plot, or even what happends in the future,a love triangle whatever or to even make the character rmore important.Now send them in and i will consider them! its not a guarantee but i want to see how my readers want the story to go on! it's fanfiction and remember anything can happen!I will give you credit don't worry!well yes oh this chapter i will hope be better than the last!**

**OH AND! i know craig doesnt sing all these songs that im makin him sing but pretend he does cuz then u actually know what song he is singin! **

**xoxoxo candy!**

p.s:Thanks u Starduss! u made me feel so happy! I was seriously thinking of not continuing! I was thinking we could write a fic together! tell me what you think!

**Summary**:Manny finally got her life back together,friends with Craig even..but when a new girl comes will she

take her back to the life that she just recovered?Or even worse?Ashley comes back from London..and not sure of the relationship

**rated:**pg-13 for violence,drug use,breif sex,language,situations involving teens

**Disclaimer:**I do not own Degrassi;or any of the songs used in the story

**warnings**:in future chapters there may be a scene not meant for younger audience which i will change the ratings

a/n:even if i dont get that much reviews i will continue to update I really fell in love with the plot and

i think this teaches us a lesson to always choose the right friends and learn to say no.

**ALSO READ THIS:** this chapter is going to deal with mostly the after math of her father's death.also marissa well for some fo you who hate her well you'll be happy!but roxy...i dunno. and i hope you guys didn't forget the trip to california i had put in the first chapter because it's going to be mentioned most definatly.I also got some emails saying they really want jay and emma so yes i will add them more but not so much in this chapter.there will be a twist in the end! yes another!well stay loyal and review!and i am doing a Moulin Rouge story! smilesJemma fans u will be shocked!yay the twist in the end! Read read!

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_Memories consume Like opening the wound I'm picking me apart again You all assume I'm safe here in my room Unless I try to start againI don't want to be the one  
The battles always choose 'Cause inside I realize That I'm the one confusedI don't know what's worth fighting for Or why I have to scream I don't know why I instigate And say what I don't mean  
I don't know how I got this way I know it's not alright So I'm breaking the habit I'm breaking the habit Tonight Clutching my cure I tightly lock the door I try to catch my breath again  
I hurt much more Than anytime before I had no options left again I dont want to be the one The battles always choose 'Cause inside I realize That I'm the one confusedI don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream I don't know why I instigate And say what I don't mean I don't know how I got this way I'll never be alright So, I'm breaking the habit I'm breaking the habit TonightI'll paint it on the walls Cause I'm the one at fault I'll never fight again And this is how it endsI don't know what's worth fighting for Or why I have to scream But now I have some clarity to show you what I mean I don't know how I got this way I'll never be alright So, I'm breaking the habit I'm breaking the habit I'm breaking the habit Tonight_

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(p.s yea um dont hate cause of the chap title)

**Chapter 9:Breaking the Habbit**

It was the second time I woke up dizzy.With no idea where I was at.I was scared and lost and kinda confused.Dramatic it sounds but no joke.I fluttered my eyes opened and white was seen everywhere.Things were swriling all around.I then had my eyes open long enough for them to focus clearly.I noticed I was in the hospital.I looked and saw my mom alseep on the chiar.Marissa was having a silent arguement with an older woman.I;m guessing it was her mom.They didn't notice my eyes open-_Wait!What the hell was Marissa doing here?Did she actually care about me!Maybe I was wrong about her maybe she really did love me!Then again you can never trust a backstabbing bitch._ I tried to sit up but the ivy that was connected to my veins wouldn't let me.A wave of exaushtion,nasciousness,and pain(from pulling the ivy accidently) washed over me.I was looking around for the person I cared most about.He was nowhere to be seen.I then looked at my window in the hospital and I saw Craig talking to the doctor and Craig's reaction would change every five seconds.That's what made me nervous.I mean I just fainte and i-_oh my god.I-am-in-the-hospital...that meant they checked my blood,and all that shit which meant they must've seen my cuts,burns,drugs and alcohol ive done.FUCK!_

"Cr-"I couldn't talk.My voice was so hoarse it sounded like a toad.I then oved my head to look at my mother.She was so alseep she didn't even hear my attempts to try to speak. I wanted to hug Craig and get out of here as soon as I could.I looked at my arms and they were badaged.I then heard a chair squeek.I looked and saw my mom looking at me.For maybe about a second she looked like she was happy to see me alive but then a second later she shot me a death glare.Marissa then noticed I was awake and my mom she looked worried.

"I'll always love you."She mouthed to me.

My attention then returned to my mom who got off her her chair she then quickly looked to see if anyone could hear.She wouldn't say shit since Marissa and her mom were there but she then hissed at me.

"I would dissown you if I could! I mean how could you-"

Marissa got up and interupted my mom.

"Please don't blame Manny for all of this!"She begged my mom looking sincere.

_Oh my god Marissa is standing up for me! If I could talk I would tell her out loud I loved her! And to think I doubted her being a real friend!_

Marissa then shifted her eyes towards me and saw me smiling.Tears were swelling up in her eyes.It looked like if she was about to die right then and there,she took a deep breath and continued.

"It was my fault about the drugs..I shouldn't have taken it when she offered it to me.I mean maybe if I would've said no things wouldn't have gone this far.At first all she offered was cigarettes,then the pot then we sorta got out of control it's omy fault..."Marissa said actually crying."I mean i've never done this before I was hooked!I'm so sorry!"

_That stupid bitch! taht back stabbing whore! that fucken liar!I was in such shock my mouth just hung open.A second later fury was boiling up inside me I exploded!_

"What the fuck Marissa you offered me drugs!"I screamed.Craig and the doctor from the outside noticed but I didn't care.

"No I didn't you fucken baby aborter!You party slut!"She yelled back.I pulled to get up the pain was so intense btu by this time I have got ammune to it.

"Whatever you fucken lesbo!You are the party slut I mean how many guys have you fucked anyways?"I yelled at her.( a/n-no offense to anyone who is gay/les/ or bi it's just for the story)

Our mother's were yelling at us and each other by this time.

"Well i didn't lie about getting raped bitch!"she screamed.Then it fell silent.When I looked around I saw Craig,the doctor,bother our mom's and Marissa just all silent showing faced of utter suprise.

Craig's eyes then looked at me.I turned away from embaressment.

"Well one things for sure my daughter and I are moving..away from here,and you daughter she has been nothgin but trouble for all of us.Nothign btu a cutting loose whore."Mariss'a mom spat.

Craig then looked pissed,"Excuse me!"

"Well whatever you fucken old hag I could give a less of crap about what you think of me! Oh and tell your boyfriend to stop molesting Marissa it's causing her to loose her mind."Manny blurted.

It was silent again as I cupped my mouth.

The doctor then began to speak."Serious alligations have been said here."

"Doctor,i was just making that last part up.."I said in a little voice.There was no way I was going to stoop to her level.Marissa didn't even look at me.Her mom was giving me a look so dirty I felt like taking a shower.

"Well it doesn't matter we are going and Mrs.Santos tell your daughter to stop whoring around."Marissa's mom said.

Craig then was angry I could tell because he went up to her."Don't you dare talk to Manny like that."

Marissa rolled her eyes,"Whatever have fun telling Craig you cheated on him Manny,c'mon mom."Marissa snarled as she got her mom.Her and her mom both walked out.

I felt like someone just scooped my insides out and made me swallow it.I could feel Craig's eyes burnong a whole at my head.I was still in shock.I then turned to my mom.

She didn't defend me at all.Craig defended me more than my mom.Tears uncontrolably came out of my eyes.

"Mom...why didn't you defend me?"I croaked.My throat was even more hoarse and I was choaking on my own tears.

I then heard the footsteps.I turned my head and saw Craig as he waited outside the door.He must've given us our privacy.

"Momm-"

"Please,"She interupted me,"Don't call me that."

I felt like someone ripped my heart out when she said that.

"Manuella I spent everyday with your father.I even lost my job.I spend everyday with that man who left us for that woman!...everyday.I expected you to keep your head high be strong! But instead I come home and see that you're whoring around! Taking drugs and cuttign yourself.You're very weak Manuella...i'm sorry you drain me.I just can't take it and i simply can't take..you."

I was crying uncontrolably,"M-Momm-"

"I said..do not call me that.I'm sorry i'm going..here,"She handed me a letter."Your father had this letter by his bed before he died."

She got something from her purse.I couldn't see clearly becaus eof the tears flowing from my eyes.She then put it on my lap.It was an envelope and it said:Manuella.

But with my dad's writting seeing that made me remember my dad even more and I began to cry harder.My chest was starting to hurt and I couldn't breathe.I was gasping I think I was getting an anxiety attack or whatever Marissa used to say her mother had.

"Good luck in life manuella..just make sure you make the right decsions."My mom said to me.She then gave me one last look before turnign and walking out the hospital door.Craig then looked at me through the window and then started walking with my mom it seemed like he was asking her something.

My mind paid no attention to them.Instead to the envelope.I got it and hugged the paper which my dad had touched I even smelled it sorry to sound obsessive but to me it felt like i was touching my dad.I then noticed the envelope was rather bumpy.I felt it and it looke dlike a cassete.I then quickly,but carefully opened the envelope ,at the same time there was a lump in my throat like a huge ball.

A letter was there.I then unfolded it and began to read.

_Manuella,_

_so sorry I wasn't awake to tell you this so I thought I might write this for you can get this when you get up.I will be asleep becaus eI am not feeling too good right now but don't worry i'll get better.I know thisha been rather harsh on you and I am sorry.I really mean it when i say this.I am sorry for all the damage I caused for you and your mother but please understand I love YOU Manuella more than anythign in this world.I know how hard it must be for you to be having all these problems.But thats why I am so proud of you honey.You can handle so much I wish I had half the strength you do. Everythign you do thats good I am proud of and you know your smile always brightens my day...oh I know things are hard but when I get better I promise me andyou are going to move out and go somewhere by the beach or near the cirty like you always wanted to remember I still do.well just remember whatever you do make me proud okay.Well please writ eback because im asleep now adays.Besides i wanted to tell you in person that I love you.well the meds are kickin in so i better go.just remember what i said Manny okay? Mi amor...I love you._

_love always _

_papi_

I felt this sudden relife flow through my body.I then for no reaosn began to cry so hard I scared myself.I felt as if my problems had just tarted yet were slipping away.It was the weirdest feeling I've ever had.I looked into my hands and stared at my cuts and it disgusted me so greatly I had to stop looking.My heart started beating faster and faster.I didn't know what I was going to do the next second all I knew is I needed to do something if I didn't something bad would happen.I never had this feeling before all of a sudden I felt a pair of warm arms slowly wrap around me.My shaking decreased I slowly looked up and saw Craig hugging me.

"M-my m-mom k-kicke-" I began to stutter becaus ei was choaking on my tears.

"I know,Manny it's going to be okay."Craig said in a soft soothing reassuring voice.I gulped and then looked at myself in a fuller sense.

"Are you sure?"I whispered to him.He nodded.Somehow I was fully calmed I just looked at his eyes and this woozy,calm,sleepy feeling began to take over I just remember fluttering my eyes and then everything went black...

* * *

**Normal POV**

"OH! Life isn't what you make it,make a deal or break it.Your heart was apart of this-"Craig stopped singing as Jimmy began to play his solo.Marco was focusing a lot on trying to nail the next part.For sometime now he was awfully quiet.Ellie,who was on the drums was just smiling sometimes glancing at Craig while he was turned and was on the microphone.It had been a hell of a week for Craig.Manny was still in the hospital.The doctor had told Craig she would be out soon.He still hadn't talked to her on the fact that she was a drug addict,cutter,and smoker.He was still in denial even though the truth was beating his back with a whip.He had talked to her mother about living arrangments.He tried to convince her that what she said wasn't true.But everytime he went to go see her she looked worse.It smelled as if she had stopped showering.Her hair was greasy,she was pale,looked dirty,and wore the same robe everyday he saw her,she hadn't got up-or even left the couch.Her eyes were glued to the t.v and the apartment door was always open.So when he came to get some of Manny's things the mom didn't move,acknoweldge him...nothing.He even considered calling someone but then he knew Manny would be in bigger trouble.In the spite of doing that his band and music was his passion for living.He got Ellie to be in the band to be the drummer.He started helping her after the practice alone for they can fully consintrate on improving her drumming even though it was good already.That and trying to convince Joey to let your girlfriend move in with them is hard work.

"-Then you suddenly dismiss,sorry for the pain I cause,but doesn't this make up for the lost?"He sang.He then played the last strings on his guitar and Ellie ending the song with her drumming.

"Wow that was really good you guys,suprising in fact."Craig added scratching his head.Marco let out a chuckle while unplugging his bass.

"Well what can I say we rock."Jimmy said quite smugly due to the fact that his guitar solo stole the whole song.

"Yea and El your drumming is awesome."Craig complimented.

Ellie had a huge grin on her face but then quickly said,"Well thanks to your lesson."

Craig smiled and turned to Marco,"So think we're ready for a gig?"

Marco then looked down but then looked back up with a huge grin,"Can't lie buddy i'm suprised if they don't beg us to play for them!"

"Awesome trust me on this one guys this is going to make us!"Craig smiled with excitment all over his body.In the wake of all the drama he went through for Manny he thought he deserved a little break for his music,which he loved with all his heart.

"Okay explain what the gig is..."JImmy said while tunning his guitar to keep from bordem until his dad picked him up.

"Sure,for the ninth time,it's at Main Street at Joey's Undergrounds.It's a bit shady from the inside but inside is where all the big time bands got famous!"Craig grinned."We got a spot there and I know,"He then shook his finger with a huge grin,"If we perform there,nothing and I mean nothing will get in our way of fame..."

The door opened from Craig's garage."Hey guys."

They all turned and they saw Manny standing there.Ellie tried her best to smile but it came out fake.Marco noticed this.

Manny had cut her hair and it was a different color than her jet black hair.It was light brown and what seemed dark brown and blonde streaks.She also had side bangs.She had a aqua green tank top with some removable sleaves.She had some low rider jeans that showed her skinny figure since of the drugs.

"Manny?W-what are we doing?Oh my god I thought you were in the hospital!"Craig said so happy.She ran up to her and hugged her while lifting her up and swinged her.

"I know,well they let me out and might as well be with you!So I wanted to look my best!"Manny giggled as Craig kissed her.

Ellie then mummbled,"As you were saying Craig..."

Marco heard her and smirked as did Jimmy.

"Wow isn't this a happy little love fest."Jimmy commented.Craig blushed and let go of Manny.She was also a bright red.Craig was now hugging her from the back.

Manny then noticed Ellie's face,"Erm..did I interupt something?"

Craig then smiled and looked in the band."Well not really but um sort of but it's good you came,as a matter of fact because I have great news to tell you!"Craig grinned as he hugged Manny tighter.

"Um stop huggin her and tell her man!"Marco laughed.

"Wha...oh right!Well anyways we have a gig at Joey's Underground on Main!"Craig blurted.

Manny's face had excitment."Are you serious you could be famous!"

"Exactly why we need to prepare and do our best."Jimmy said.

"We've been practicing trust me."Marco said showing Manny his hands.

"Yeah and I have been working with Ellie after for her drumming."Craig beamed.

It struck Ellie as a little insulting.She wasn't a whore and wanted a relationship knowing that he was with Manny.Her ex-best friend had gone through that.It just kinda sucked and felt weird hat Manny wasn't threatened.I mean was she trying to say that Ellie didn't pose a threat?Ellie was just confused she didn't know what to think.All she knew is that this crush on Craig was driving her mad and she didn't know how much she could take.

**HONK**

"Ma dad."Jimmy said as he already had his luggage ready.

"Ride?"Marco asked but he already knew the answer becasue he was always leaving with Jimmy.

"Yeah sure.Oh bye guys ,bye Manny!"Jimmy farewelled.

"Oh yea bye see you tomorow!"Marco waved as he closed Craig's garage door.

"Bye."Craig and Ellie said in unison.

"Later guys!"Manny called out.The door then closed.

"Um El can you give me and Manny um a word?"Craig asked nervously.Ellie sighed.She got her sticks and went to the kitchen.

Once Craig was sure Ellie was out of earshot his said to Manny.

"Um Babe we need to talk about this sometime i'm asking Joey if you could stay and..I -well are you okay first of all?I'm sorry I didn't ask I was just so happy and well how come you didn't tell me anything and-"

"Craig I just got out of the hospital like three hours ago and all I want is to spend time with you...is that so bad?"Manny asked as if it was a dare for Craig to answer but Craig was well prepared.

"Is it a crime that i'm in love with you and that i'm concerned if you're okay?"Craig asked Manny with a smirk on his face.He expected Manny to laugh and then tell him but she didn't a look of horror came on her face.

"Craig,"She began and made him stop hugging her.She sat down on the couch with a look of thought.She seemed to be in deep thought.Craig noticed this and cautiously sat beside her.

"I don't think...I will ever be able to tell you my story,fully."

She turned to Craig and he looked quite hurt.She then quickyl said,"But i'll try."

He smiled and then went to give her a kiss.It was short but sweet."I missed you so much and without you at school I-"

"School...ergh kill me please."Manny groaned."There are rumors...aren't there?"

"Yeah.But don't worry they aren't that bad."Craig said with a look of hope.Manny then gave him an uneasy smile.

**XXXXXXXXxxxThe NExt DayxxxxXXXXXXXXXXX**

J.T looked at Liberty as she was writting notes for class.She was always so serious about everything.The only fun thing that they did was well...sex.He was waiting for her to look at him so he can give her his smile.

That's when she looked up and J.T gave her a smile.She tried to smile back but then school mode sucked her back in away from love mode.He rolled his eyes.He then saw Emma she was not really paying attention.The fact that Sean was in the class had gotten to her.She was trying her hardest to avoid him.He didn't know much information all he knew was that she was upset.Chante seemed to be her friend now.They would always talk a lot.His eyes then shifted to the seat next to Emma,which Chante now occupied.It was Manny's seat for a little while.Then Marissa had came into her life and that seat became to be known as empty.Then for some reason Manny was gone.For a whole week it's like she dropped off the face of the earth.He had asked Emma about it but she didn't know.Then the thing that had haunted Manny came...the rumors.Some were rather harsh.Somehtig about drugs,and how she was a stripper.With Marissa involved the rumors soon became facts.He had talked to Craig a while back about helping Manny but he was unsure what happened but they never went through tier plan.He knew Manny was with Craig and whenever he wanted to ask if the rumor's were true Craig was surrounded by other people wondering the same things.He was angry by the fact of this.He needed to know what was wrong with his friend,his ex-girlfriend,his best girl friend.He then flinched at his own thoughts.

_What am I talking about i'm with Liberty and besides Emma has been a helluva better friend than Manny had_

But you two were together,remember?

_yea but she dumped me!she broke my heart and got with Craig!_

But it hurt you didn't it even when you were with Liberty...

_So? I really don't care im am just concerned because she is my best friend!We have a bond and i'm not going to forget it!_

Just admit it you still have feelings for her...

_No I don't I-_

**Knock Knock**

J.T's thoughts quickly vanished when he heard a knock at the door.Ms.Kwan then stopped talking and walked towards the door.Everyone now was chatting amoung ther neighbors.Liberty then shifted her seat towards J.T,"I swear I am falling behind."

"Lib,you were writting notes the whole time yea I think your way ahead."J.T smirked.

"Well i'll share these notes with you when ou come over my house tonight."Liberty said devilishly.

J.T opened his mouth to speak when he saw someone familiar in the doorway talking to Ms. it be.Ms.Kwan then stepped out of the way when she made her way into the class.Suddenly the clas became quiet and he was sure now that it was Manny.Except she looked very different.Her hair was different.Even though she had a smile to her face,Rather nervous one, her bright warm glare that she used to have was gone.It seemed she was so lost and cold and confused.She was very skinny,even though she was skinny before she could say she was really skinny now.She had a red tank top with a weird design on it.Her arms had removable sleaves,it reminded him something Ellie would wear.She then didn't make eye contact ith anyone.She walked over to her old seat but then Emma,Chante,and Manny had an akward slince when she noticed her seat was taken.She didn't know where to sit so she took a seat in the back.J.T took a look at Manny and gave her a smile.Manny then smiled weakly at J.T and for some reaosn J.T felt his heart skip a beat

**XXXXXXxxxxXXXXXXXXXMANNY POV**

_The rumors being not bad!That was an understatement! I had three girls to try and jump me but a teacher came in time,a few guys asked me if I could hook them up for a stripper show!Everywhere I go I hear whispers and what's worse I haven't seen Craig all day.I finally go to a class where my friends are suppose to be and they act like everyone else! I was about to cry and I got so hurt when Chante had taken my seat! I avoided Emma's face because I didn't want to show her that I was upset over this...when I thought I had lost all of my friends I see J.T he smiled at me.At least I had oen great friend.I mean the feeling when J.T smiled at me made me want to hide my goofy grin._

_I was looking forward to when the bell rang and when lunch began and then...RING...thank you jesus!_

I pretended to gather my things and to take extra long until the whole class was gone.Even thought me and Emma had out akward greeting I was sure she would wait for me.I now seriously was getting my things ready when I dropped my sun glasses.

"Shit!"I hissed hoping that they weren't broken.I then heard footsteps and I knew it was Emma.

"Hey Emma I knew you would,"I then got up and faced to not what was Emma but J. so how have you been sorry I thought Emma was going to come but I guess I was wrong."

I was totally embaressed.I hope I wasn't offensive!I then moved my bangs out of my face."Um hey!Um Liberty um...she-"

"I told her I needed to talk to Ms.Kwan."J.T interupted me.

Then my stomach gave a turn._He lied to Liberty to talk to me.I knew we weren't going to have a secret afair but in a way I felt flattered and nervous because of his actions.I know it sounds stupid but he should've just told Liberty that he was going to talk to me.Unless she really had turned against me and was a crap talker.A smile crept on my face._

"Um thanks..not everyone is that welcoming now.I swear I can never have a good year."I laughed.J.T then was walking with me outside.

"So um,"He began,"Where you going to hang out at lunch?"J.T asked me.

"Oh well...I dunno I guess I have to find Craig him and his friends still like me...I hope."I said.I really wasn't sure.Me and J.T were in the halls and peopel were starring at me.J.T must've noticed becaus ehe then looked at me,"Forget them.."He then gave me something out of his pocket.It was a small mirror."Look at it.And don't care what people think of you only what you see."

I was touched all of a sudden this feeling came over me.Some old feelings..._oh no I am in love with Craig these are just some stupid feeling then why did he looks insanely hot! _

"Thanks J.T um well you better get back to Liberty and Emma and well yea I gotta go and find Craig."I said suddenly.I know it was a bitchy thing to do but I mean what if I had done somehthing worse if I had stayed?

I needed to find Craig!

"Alright.Well bye Manny."J.T said pulling me into a hug.I then heard a door open but I payed no attention I mean I was just hugging him.

"Bye J.T."I said as I turned to go look for Craig I ten turned and walked backwards,"Thanks for the um well yea I really needed it."

**XXXxxxxxxXXXXXXXX EMMA POV**

How did I end up here?Jay kissing my lips furiously running his hands on my hips.We were in the janiots closet.Ya I know it sounds sleezy but it's really not! I mean I know it's against the Degrassi Code of Conduct but who even listens to those useless rules!Jay just now stuck his tounge in my mouth and I began to moan.He enjoyed this because he started kissing me much harder and I loved every second of it.Now I could see Many's furious face now but I seriously didn't care because I had given her my furious face before and she completely ignored it.

I guess when Manny had been gone for that week and a half I had nothing better to do he came over my house one day in the middle of the night.One thing led to another and well yeah.That's how it happened.Then every night or durring school we would find a way to make out.I felt that it was dangerous and a thrill.Trust me it's a rush you'll love! I saw manny today but it was akward.I mean I have been worried about her and all but she says she was fine and then one day she's gone then these rumors start to spread and considering she was thrilling with Marissa I now believe them.I now look at Manny a little bit lower than I used to.I mean how could she do all those things.I just can't face her now I much rather be doing what i'm doing now.Jay then crept his hands underneath my shirt and his touch made me shiver and sent chills out my spine.

"Oh Jay.."I moaned."Jay please not like this!"I begged because if he did anymore I would get out of control.

He grinned,"Why not Em nobody is gonna walk in.."

"Yea but Jay what if they hear us and you know.."I began I mean sex certainly isn't quiet.

jay sighged and let me go.I slid sown becaus ehe had me pinned aginst the wall."Fine."

"I'll get out first."I said as I was about to leave the closet Jay kissed me hard.

"Okay."

I grinned and got out of the closet.Jay then followed.We were chatting normally when Jay stopped.

"Um hey isn't that Manny with J.T I thought she was with Craig.."Jay said suddenly.I looked at him confused and I turned to see Manny and J.T hugging.

"UM yeah but it's just a hug.."I said trying to convince myself.

I then saw J.T walk away and that's when I went up to Manny.Jay had left because he guessed that I already left.

"Hey."I said to Manny.For some reason she looked at me like if she was dissapointed.

"Oh wow your actually saying hi to me?"She said astonished.I gave her a dry look.

"What?What do you want me to say Em?J.T seems to be the only one talking to me besides Craig.Besides you haven't been a good friend lately only when you want something."

I was shocked."I am just worried that you are going to repeat yourself!Oh what happened to'_This year no drama I promise best friends forever'_ you are so full of crap you can't stay away from drama! I swear you LOVE making your life worse cause you seem to do it every year!"I shouted.I had held that in for so long it felt good to finally let it out.Then I realized what I had just said and I shut my mouth.

Her face was...well shocked and she didn't speak for a while until.

"It's nice to know what you think of me.."She said quietly before walking away.And you know what I did not stop her.

I bit my lip and decided to just let her go make her own pathway I did all I could the rest was up to her.

Then a pang of guilt hit my stomach.Sean knew what was going on with me and Jay.What if he told?My reputation would go out of bound?Oh no...

**XXXXxxxXXXX normal POV**

Craig was looking everywhere for Manny he couldn't find her anywhere.He then saw Emma walking and she looked rather nervous."Hey!Em!"He called out.

Emma looked slightly confused and went up to him."Hmm?"

"Um have you seen Manny?"He asked her.Emma then gave a annoyed look.

"Last time I saw her she went looking for you,you know they invented cell phones for a reason."Emma joked as she walked off as if looking for someone.

Craig then slapped his forehead and reached for his cell phone."Oh yeah thanks!...man Emma is smart!"

He took out his cell and went to phonebook and went to My BaBe,then he pressed call.

Manny in the meantime was in the girls washroom.Fixing her hair.It was quite crowded and once Manny realized this she got uncomfortable because it was an uncanny silence.She then slowly let go of the stands of hair she had and saw through the mirror that Paige was there.Not with her fake plastic grin but more like of a i-hate-you look.Manny quickly turned around.She saw that there were about seven other girls there.She guessed that about four were in on it and three were just there because the three girls were talking about how hot Jimmy was.Manny knew what was going to happen.

"Um.."That came out more nervous then she intended it to be,"W-what you mad about?"

"You fucken bitch your dad killed my boyfriend!"Paige yelled and she slapped Manny right across the face.Manny then felt her cheek.Everyone around there then starred as Manny clenched her fists.

"You didn't think I would fine out huh!Well I did!"Paige yelled as she was about to slap manny,Manny got her hand and socked Paige with her free hand.Paige then fell to the floor.The four girls that were there with herwent to help Paige.Two of the girls stood up and cornered Manny.Then Manny's phone rang... My BoY

Craig listened for Manny's voice to pick up but no answer.It went stright to her voicemail,"_Hey...oh shit it's you fuck I thought i blocked you..nah im kidding i love you well leave you message and other crap love ya buh bye!"_

Craig closed his cell phone.He then saw Marco ordering his food and cut in line with him.

"Hey man how's it going?"Craig asked as he got some french fries.

"Alright man dude i'm just nervous and all..."Marco said,"You know I mean I thought about it and I like the band and all but what if we really do good you know?If we really do make it and ..sorry im just bein weird."Marco laughed.

"Okay you have been acting weird lately whats going on?"Craig asked.Marco shook his head.

"I've been having feelings lately..for someone."Marco said hushly.They got out of line and went to go find a table.They sat alone usually Ellie would sit with them but lately she had been not eating with them.

"Who!"Craig demanded.He was getting interested.

"Well...it's not exactly who you'd expect.I am really confused right now.."Marco said frustrated.He was never serious like this in quite a while.

"Well is he older..-"

"That's just it!"Marco said angrily.

"What is it?"Craig asked now getting a little angry himself.

"It's not a guy...i'll talk to later I need to be alone for a while."

Craig just stood there opened mouth shocked he couldn't move a muscle.Marco then lifted his lunch tray and left the cafeteria.Craig couldn't move.He was still computing what Marco just said.Jimmy then walked over to where Craig was.

"Hey man um where did Marco go?"Jimmy asked him.

Craig then looked at Jimmy and grabbed him so hard and made him sit down.

"What-the-dude!"Jimmy spat.

"Marco likes a chick..."Craig whispered.Jimmy the laughed.

"Um Craigy in case you don't know or haven't got the memo Marco is gay."Jimmy said.

"Why do you think im so shocked huh!"Craig whispered."I mean dude Marco doesn't like a dude but I thought you know when you're gay you stay that way?"

Jimmy seemed to think for a while."Well okay we'll just carry on with band and all and we'll just try to figure out something okay?I mean if we let this get to us we won't be read on time."

Craig grinned,"You know what Jim?You're starting to sound like me."

"Oh wow...that's an insult."Jimmy joked.Craig began laughing as Jimmy stole a french fri from Craig and began talking about the gig.

* * *

J.T was kissing Liberty and it was starting to get intense.Her began to kiss her harder and harder.

_Manny grinned.'J.T your such a jerk'_

J.T then stopped kissing Liberty.

"Wow amazing you actually stopped the kissing."Liberty laughed.Her smile then faded when she saw J.T's face."What's wrong?"

J.T had no idea what was wrong.He was in LOVE with Liberty.Then why was he thinking of Manny?Manny had Craig and that's all there was to it.He had,had his chance with her but then she dumped him.

"N-nothing just thought of school..ha but anyways where were we?"J.T grinned.

"Well you had your tounge cramed in my mouth.."Liberty began but J.T kissed her more.

_'Was that a yes?Can we get a ruling on that?'Manny grinned,'J.T you're such a jerk."J.T then followed her.'You mean that in the best possible way right?'_

He couldn't take it anymore."Lib um sorry but um I need to catch up on homework.Um..I'll call you later."

Liberty looked bewildered."Um J.T do you want me to help you-"

"No it's okay um sorry but um i'll see you tomorow..."J.T said.Liberty nodded and gave him a kiss before leaving.

"Fuck.."J.T whispered to himself.

* * *

Manny walked out of the restroom about five minutes after school.Every part of her was sore.She then went back in the bathroom to look at herself.

She had a black eye and a bruised cheek.Her lip was busted form the side and she had a bruise on her side.She smiled in satisfaction.

"Stupid bitches...three on one and that's the best they can do?"Manny smirked to herself.She then got her phone which was broken on the floor.

Okay she had to admit she passed out a little.She remembered the fight perfectly..

The two girls cornered he and manny saw from the corner of her eye that one was ready to swing.Manny thn socked that one girl on the face first before punching the other in the stomach.The one that she ppunched in the stomach fell down clutchign her stomach.The other pounched on her.She punched Manny on the face on the cheek.Manny couldn't see much because of the girl's hair in manny's face.She felt a punch( not hard) on her mouth.That's when manny kicked the girl that was on top of her.Then one of the girl's who was helping Paige grabbed manny's house and threw her to the bathroom floor and kicked her sides.That's when manny began to cough.She had heard about girls getting jumped but she never though that she would be the one to get jumped.Then there was a hard kick on her side so hard that she felt everythign get black..

Manny knew she fucked up the girl's worse so she walked to Craig's house she was pretty sure that she would get Paige next time,but worse.Everytime she walked in hurt a little on her sides.

**Manny POV**

It hurt like a bitch.I mean what the hell Miss.Princess jumps me with a bunch of other bitches.At least have the balls to face me alone.I hate bitches like that.I wanted to see Craig so bad.I hadn't seen him in a while.I wanted his lips so bad on mine.It was so weird I have never felt this needy before..well since ninth grade.I then made my way out of the school.Outside school there were putting a sigh up.I looked a reconized one of my old friends from grade 10.

"Hey Stacy!"I shouted.Stacy was an over-all nice girl.

"Manny hey-ay what happened to your face!"She asked getting down from the ladder.I smiled.

"I got jumped."I said straight out.

"What! You know usually people are scared after they are jumped."Stacy said with an uneasy grin.

"Well,"I began,"Most people aren't me beside I have gotten it a lot worse."

_"Oww!"I cired as I grabbed my side and fell.Then they kicked my stomach."Please stop!"I pleaded as I began coughing_

She then tapped me and I jumped.For some reason that memory kept playing in my head over and over again.

"Are you okay?"She asked me.I then looked in her eyes.That was weird I never ever felt like that I began to look at the walk to Craig's house as more scary then I ever had.

"Um yea um well I better go um what are you putting up?"I asked the lighten the mood.It worked.

Her worried face turned into a cheerful one."Oh."

She then turned and got a flyer and what looked like three papers with a bunch of tiny writting.

"Well you see remember the California trip that they mentioned in the beggining of the year?"She asked me.

"Um..vaugely."I lied.

"Well there is a trip to California durring January-"

"Isn't it like freezing then?"I interupted her.She sighed.

"We checked the weather and it is going to be a warm week that week well anyways we will stay there for a week-"

"Where a hotel,or a.."I interupted again and by the look on her face she was getting annoyed so i shut up.

"We will be staying at a hotel but Degrassi got fame for um last year so they gave us huge discount for the whole trip it's only $200.That's a bargan so you interested?"She asked me.

One week California.Alone.Craig.Perfect.

"Yea I am."I said as I took the papers out of her hands."So um the trip is on January right?"

She nodded and was now focusing more on the banner than me so I left without saying goodbye.I began to walk towards Craig.It was chilly it wasn't dark so that I couldn't see but the afternoon was soon slipping away as darkness was taking over the sky.I was almost at Craig's house when I heard his voice.His voice which I loved.The words were faint at first but then became louder and louder and much more clear as I approached the door leading to his garage.

**Normal POV**

"Okay you guys um I have been working on this one song and well do you think you guys can um try to learn it I really wanan perform it."Craig said excitedly.

Ellie smiled as she took her music."Um wow this is um kinda hard."

"Yeah but I know you could do it El,My lil drummer girl."Craig winked friendly as he handed Marco and Jimmy thier music sheets.

"Cool this actually looks like it's gonna sound good."Jimmy said looking over it and fingering the guitar strings.

Marco on the other hand didn't say anythign much since thier encounter at lunch.

Craig couldn't take it anymore,"Um you gonna be able to um do th-"

"Oh this shhes yeah,we've done harder."Marco said as he looked at the music.

"Well okay how about we try it.Oh and when I go eyes on the last chorus feel free Jim to um experiment okay by then you'll get the feel of it."Craig said to Jimmy without looking at him.

"Righty-o!"Jimmy said.

Craig then began playing his guitar and Ellie then jumped in.

_"Seems to stop my breath,my head on your chest waiting to to cave in from the bottom of my..hear your voice again can we dim the sun and_

_wonder where've we been,Maybe you and me so kiss me like you did,my heart stopped beating such a softer sin.I'm melting,I'm melting,in your eyes,i've lost my place could stay a while.and im melting in your eyes like my first time that I caught fire so stay with me lay with me now.Never caught my breath every second without you i'm a mess.Ever known each other trust these words are stoked.My cuts aren't healing learning how to love i'm melting,I'm melting,in your eyes,i've lost my place could stay a while.and im melting in your eyes like my first time that I caught fire so just stay with me lay with me now.You could stay and watch me fall and of course ill ask for help,just stay with me now.We could take our heads off stay in bed just make love,thats all just stay with me now..I'm melting,I'm melting,in your eyes,i've lost my place could stay a while.and im melting in your eyes like my first time that I caught fire so stay with me lay with me,and im melting in your eyes like my first time that I caught fire so stay with me lay with me stay with me lay with me_."Craig sang and then the music became more softer.Just at that moment Manny walked in.Craig just smiled and looked directly at her and sang the rest,"_IN your eyes let's just sleep till the sun burns out,im melting in your eyes,im melting in your eyes,in your eyes,lets sleep till the sun burns out..im melting in your eyes..."_

"Wow that sounded good actually...good job guys."Craig said as he faced his band.He turned to look at manny who was already sitting on the couch."But i'd like to hear what you think.."

Manny grinned and was about to speak when-

"Craig she only heard the last part."Ellie interupted.Manny then looked at Ellie with question but then smirked.

"I was about to say if the rest of your song is like the ending of it I have no doubt that you guys will get a record deal."When Manny said this she looked directly at the guys.Ellie then got the hint.She gave manny a cold look but Manny just pulled off a Paige.

"You really think so?"Marco asked Manny.Manny nodded and the said how they could not get one.

"well guys um it's getting really late so um let's pack."Jimmy said.

"Do you think we will be ready?"Marco asked Craig as he unplugged his bass.

"Ready!Of course we will be if we keep practicing every single day until the gig.Man everything seems to be in order."Craig said looking at his band mates.

"Well thanks to you there is no way we can lose."Ellie smiled."But we must'nt get too cocky remember we only got the part because another band bailed...under pressure."

"We are not cocky El."Jimmy said with a laugh."Cocky is when you think you are the best we um,"Jimmy pimped his collar,"We are the best!"

Everyone began to laugh.

"Okay seriously how are we going to get there?"Marco asked.

"Jimmy."Craig said and Jimmy nodded at Marco.

"Okay imagine us on the road...livin the rock and roll dream of ladies,fame,money and-"Jimmy paused and noticed that Ellie,Marco,and Manny were looking at him.

"Okay maybe just me out of the band will be living that dream since Craig has a chick,and you two are into guys but oh well guys too."JImmy added with his smile.

"It's true I mean I don't know what I would do without my Manny..,"Craig paused and looked at Manny and saw her cheek.He was about to say something when

**HONK**

"Oh that's my ride."Jimmy said as he put his guitar in a case and looked at Marco."You need a ride?"

"Do you even need to ask?"Marco grinned,"Ha on our way we can stop by taco bell i've been craving tacos!"

"Yea im hungry too."Jimmy said.

"Bye guys,Manny!"Marco said as he left.

"Oh yeah bye,and bye Manny."Jimmy waved.

"Bye!"Craig and Ellie said in unison.

"Yeah bye guys!"Manny waved hyperly.

Craig then turned to Manny."Hey,um we need to talk about you and um,"Craig then turned to Ellie.,"El can you give us-"

"Im hungry so i'm going to go in the kitchen.."Ellie added as she got her sticks and had an annoyed look on her face.

"Hey Manny um we never really got to talk about-"

"The band um yea well maybe we should goto the mall and get you a nice-"

"- you know why you were in the hospital..and I love you with all my heart-"

"-and so do I and maybe after we can go for some ice cream-"

"I mean I heard that you were cutting and that you did drugs and that you-"

"CRAIG!...honey..baby don't you notice me desperately trying to change the subject?"Manny asked with pleading eyes.

"I said that once..and I know it's annoying but Manny where are you going to go?Where are you going to live?I asked Joey and he said that you can stay with us for a little while.."

"Oh wow now we sure will have a good time won't we?"Manny grinned as she tip toed to kiss him but he pulled back.Manny made a little laugh.

"What do you want to know?"She asked not hiding her anger.

"Well I um Manny we never really got to talk about why you were in the hospital..and I know why you were there I mean what would make your life so horrible that you would..can you tell me why-"

All of a sudden Manny burst into tears."NO!Craig no I am not ready to talk about this! I don't think i'll ever be..well at least not yet what happened to me...i am so embaressed...i am so ashamed of what I did okay so please don't make it more harder for me..I mean all..,"Manny then sat down on the couch.She took a deep breath.Craig then slowly sat next to her.He then gaveher a hug and she cried for a little while on his shoulder.

"Okay whenever you're ready.."Craig whispered in her ear.

Manny nodded Craig then looked in her eyes.

"Manny can you just answer me one thing?"Craig asked her softly.

"Yeah sure..one thing."Manny said a little shakey from crying.

"When Marissa said about you cheating on me.."Craig began,"Did you have sex with someone when we were together?"

Manny did not want to answer.The answer was yes but not by choice by far.She wanted to tell him everything right then and then but then again ho wwould he take it when he found out who did it.He would sure explode.Manny couldn't even say the word rape outloud the only person she used to relate to was Paige...but fuck that.Manny then noticed she was quiet for a long time.

"Manny..."Craig began there was fear in his voice.He then faced her his voice became shaky and she noticed this.She then turned and for some reason kissed him hard on the lips.He was taken aback because he fell back on the couch.Manny forced hertounge in hs mouth.

"Man-"Craig tried to say but she kept on kissing him.He finally got her and sat her down.

"Why?Why didn't you answer the question?"Craig asked.

"Because I don't want to answer it."Manny said clearly.She looked up and Craig who just starred at her.

"Were-were you um I-"Craig couldn't bring himself to talk.He looked at Manny who was looking at her shoes.

"I-I love you."

Manny looked up at Craig."I did not cheat on you."

"You had sex with a guy...I think that classfies as cheating!"Craig croaked.

"I DIDN'T WANT TO!"Manny cried so loud that she thought her voice box was damaged.A second later Ellie came in the room she had even heard that.She then looked at both of them.

The room was quiet for a long period of time.Manny then got up and ran for the door.

"MANNY!"Craig yelled after her.he then ran to follow her.Ellie just stoo din the room looking puzzeled.

Manny's heart was beating so fast as she ran with all her might.She head a voice call out for her btu she ignored it all she could hear was her pants and her footsteps.She then turned and saw Craig was chasing after her.She then turned a corner and tripped.She fell on the ground and she then saw Craig looking at her.He ran to her side and she looked at him crying.

"I didn't want to."She cried.

"I know I know.."Craig comforted her he began to rock her back and forth as he hugged her stroking her hair.

"I didn't want to,I didn't want to -"

I know baby shhh whoever it was we're going to throw his ass in jail okay.."Craig kissed her forehead.

"Craig they hurt me..."Manny cried in a whisper.Craig then looked in her eyes.

"They?"He asked.Manny nodded and continued crying on his shoulder.

"Oh my god Manny,I love you I love you I love you..."Craig began to say over and over again.

"I love you too."Manny cried.

Craig then comforted Manny until she was quiet,he then looked at her.Her eyes seemed blank.It was very uncanny.He then picked her up,and she was lighter than he remembered.He bgean to walk down the street with Manny in his arms she then said in a weak voice.

"I would die without you."

Craig looked at her and smiled.

"Me too but don't say that."

Manny nodded and she closed her eyes.Craig then coninued walking in the cold darkness.

Craig woke up and he looked to the side of him where Manny was sleeping.She had not woken since Craig had put her down.She was really worn out.Craig then had this pang at his heart when he thought about someone touching her.Someone kissing her as she pleaded no.Someone ripping her clothes off.Someone going inside her as she cried.And she hid it.This made Craig grow angry and he felt like hitting something.He then stood up and went outside.The bitter coldness hit him like a thousand knives.He didn't care he was so mad.He then looked around and saw snow comming down.He remembered two years ago.The winter had indeed reminded him of Manny.

"I like it a lot."A voice said.

He turned around to see Manny there with some papers in her hand.

"I loved it because when snow came so did winter.That meant anything magical can happen.Like anyhting is possible."Manny wasn't looking at CRaig but at the snow falling.Craig then rushed up to her.

"Manny you'll freeze let's go get you a coat..."Craig insisted.Manny just laughed and seemed to ignore his suggestion.

"If you do,do good,which you will,at the gig and the producers see that...you could get a record deal..."Manny's sudden interest in a new subject caught Craig off guard.

"Yeah um how'd you know?"Craig asked as he hugged Manny to keep her warm.

"I read the paper it says that you'll be recording in Hollywood."Manny answered.

"Yes it's true."

She then sighed and said,"I'm comming with you.To Los Angeles anyways."

"What!"Craig asked as he turned her around for Manny could face him."Manny it's in another country and besides what if we don't win the money and-"

Manny then gave him the paper she had in her hands.He got the paper and began reading them.

"Wow...um you're serious."Craig said.

"Of course I am.I have been wanting to go since the beggining of the year."

"Well I hope we get the recording but even if we don't I'll make sure to go to California with you."Craig said as he looked at Manny.

"Promise?"Manny asked.

"Promise."

* * *

A couple of Days past by.So far Craig and his band have been rehearsing like crazy almost any time they could.Manny had spent her time trying to catch up with Darcy or even her old friends but it had been hard.The only person she seemed to talk to was J.T.They seemed to become best friends lately.But hardly anyone knew because they were always secretive.They both didn't want Liberty to find out.Manny had given the money to go to California and J.T agreed to go as well.Emma on the other hand had been acting nervous a lot lately and she had seem to want to talk to Manny but Manny was ignoring her and was not hiding the fact either.

Manny had hardly seen Craig because whenever she got home a.ka. _'Jeramiah residents' _Craig was practicing with the band and Manny did not want to interupt yeah sure she would stop bye to say Hi but they were all too focused not even Ellie gave her any lip.At school Craig sat with the band Manny would too but she would feel secluded from thier conversations because they revolved around the gig.One or twice they asked her what song she thougth sounded better but it wouldn't matter in the end they would argue and eventually choose a song.When she tried to talk about a funny mishap they would always change the subject back to the gig.Or whenever Manny spotted Craig alone in the hall instead of making out he would stress either over the gig,the band,or trying to bring the 'rape' topic up and Manny rather not talk about it.All she did was comfort him and gave him a kiss on the lips before Ellie pulled him saying '_Jimmy needs help' _or '_Marco has a suggestion'_.

Two days before the gig Manny found herself so out of the conversation that she spent her lunch in the Library pretending to read.While she was doing this she heard a whimper.She turned and put down the book

She followed the whimper and saw that Emam was in one of the sections crying.Manny could not stand seeing another person cry so she went up to her.

"Em,are you okay?"Manny asked.

Emma looked up almost like a little lost girl had found her mother.

"Manny!..Manny."Emam then stood up and hugged Manny so tight.In that hug Manny felt fear.

"Em,what's going on?"Manny asked now her voice was shakey.Emma then had tears comming form both eyes.She hadn't seen her cry like this since the school shooting.

"Oh my god Manny I fucked up..."Emma told Manny.Manny knew what she was going to say.

"Please don't tell me..."

"I might.I have been feeling sick a lot and I just have this huge feeling and I can't sleep and I-I-I."She couldn't help herself she starting crying.Manny gother and led her to the washroom where Emma cried harder.

"I'm so sorry Manny the wayI have been acting with you...I mean i'm sorry I believed those rumors why you were in the hospital..."Emma sobbed.

Manny was about to say it was true but decided not to.She instead looked at Emma.

"You have to be sure.We need to go buy a test."Manny said to her trying to not make the situation worse.

"Okay.."She sniffled.

Manny then decided to ask.

"Who is the father?"

"Jay."

* * *

It was the day before Craig's gig and he was getting more confident by the minute.He then was cleaning his room.He admit he did miss Manny.She had not really been home and when she was he was busy.He then saw her notebook.He knew it was wrong but he opened it.Inside was lyrics.The song was pretty good.He closed the notebook and sat down.He wished Manny would come home.He sighed and starting practicing his music.Finally around ten he heard the basement door open he looked and saw Manny looking rather worried.

"Hey!Are you okay?"Craig asked.Manny nodded.

"Yeah I am.Sorry i'm late..well I was with my friend."She then took off her sweater and looked around."Weird we haven't spent time alone in a while.."

"Yeah because i'm sorry I have been busy and all."Craig defended himself.

"Don't appologize are you nervous?"Manny asked him as she sat down next to him.

"Honestly..a little but not that bad to affect my playing."Craig answered.

"Oh."Manny chuckled.

Craig then noticed at that moment how beautiful Manny was.He noticed she wasn't that little grade right he knew.She hads pretty eyes,beautiful lips,nice hair,her body was hot she was perfect to him.

"What?"Manny asked noticing Craig was looking at her.

"You are so beautiful..."Craig said before he knew it he was kissing Manny passionatly.His mouth hungrily wanted Manny.His tounge slipped in her mouth so fast Manny let out a moan.Craig then got on top of herand began to kiss her neck and leave mini bruises.Manny began to moan louder and Craig knew he couldn't wait.He slowly slipped his hands under manny's shirt and she allowed him.He grabbed her breast and bgean to squeeze it.Many then got Craig's shirt and pulled it over his head.He then took off her shirt and her bra.He then pulled down her pants followed by her panties.She then unbuckled his belt and pulled down his pants and his boxers.His began to kiss her harder when manny stopped him.

"DO you have um.."

"Oh yeah.."Craig then reached for his wallet on the floor and pulled out one.He then slipped it on and then began to kiss her.He then enetered her.Manny tried not to shout because they might wake up Angie or Joey might hear.She began to shake trying ntoto scream.When Craig began to grind her she started to pant and moan his name.As soon as he got out of her.Manny pushed him back and smiled.

"You're turn."She then looked and went down...

Craig woke up smiling as he saw manny sleeping next to him.He remembered last night perfectly.He suddenly felt at ease.The girl that he loved with sleeping next to him.He then sat up and remembered that today was the gig.He then thought that if the gig did do good and if they got thier shot at fame,incredible if you could get a first,but if they got thier second chance at fame the rock and roll life would take over.He would be famous and so would his friends.Craig then got his cell phone which was on the floor and checked the time

11:45

"SHIT!"Craig hissed.Band practie was schedualed for 12.He then looked at all the clothes on the floor and a naked Manny on his couch.He really didn't want to wake her up but he had to the last thing he wanted is for his band to him him naked,or even worse Manny.He then whispered in her ears.

"Psst,Manny wake up."His whispered in her ear.Her eyes fluttered.

"Morning.."She said quietly.Craig could have melted right then and there but he remembered.

"You mean afternoon."

She looked confused and slowly sat up."What time is it?"

"Almost twelve."Craig said.Manny then let out a squeak as she got her bra and put it on followed by her shirt.She got her underwer and slipped them on and she turned to look at Craig.

"What?"She asked with a huge grin.

"You are so beautiful.."Craig said breathless.

Manny shook her head,"I love you."

"Me to more than you know."Craig said.

Manny got her pants and put them on and then looked at Craig and blushed."UM aren't you gonna dress?"

Craig then turned scarlett and reached for his boxers."UM yea..."He got his pants and found another shirt and put it on.

"I hope that's just for your practice..."Manny said with a grin.

"It is because-"

Before Craig could finish a huge loud noise came and a bright light shone upon them.

The garage door had opened and Marco,Jimmy,and Ellie stood there.

"Ready?"Marco asked.

"Yeah.."Craig said as he threw some blankets on the couch to cover-last night.

"C'mon let's get started.."Ellie smiled as she showed her sticks.

Manny then sat on the couch.

Jimmy plugged in his Guitar,Marco did the same for his bass,and Ellie sat down in her seat.Craig took the lead mic.

"Everyone plugged?"Craig asked seriously.Ellie then slapped her drumsticks together four times before they began playing.

* * *

**Later on that Night.**

The night was bitterly cold.It was the cold where puffs escaped from your lips.The building wasn't that big yet wasn't that small.It was like a wherehouse where they threw raves at.Joey's Underground was written in paint on the enterance.It seemed like it wouldn't be as famous as it was but that's where all the underground bands are discovered.Craig and his band were unloading the equiment and were rushing.

"Man it's freezing!"Marco complained as he unloaded one of the amps.

"Don't complain it will be a lot warmer once we get inside."Craig said as he picked up one of Ellie's drums.

Manny was walkign to the gig.When she saw Craig finishing unloading.

"Hey."She said as she tip toed to give him a kiss.

"Hey,well we need to go and sign in c'mon..are you cold?"Craig asked holding her arms.

"Well you being here is making me warm and alright."Manny flashed her award winning smile.

Ellie then looked at them and then walked away holding her sticks very tightly.

Jimmy and Marco went inside and were setting up already.One band was performing and by the sound of thier cheering they were pretty good.Manny and Craig walked in hand in hand.

Manny looked around and it was amazing.There were alot of people skanking everywhere.There were drinks,and Manny saw some people were snorting and blazing it.The smeels entered his nostrols and she took a big sniff and for a second all those memories of how good it felt all flooded back to her.

"C'Mon,"Craig said."We're going backstage."

Half of Manny wanted to stay and smell that sinful scent.It felt amazing to her to get that cheap rush.She was used to the whole thing but Marissa was a bitch and there is no way she was gign to go back to her for some drugs that she swore to herself she wouldn't do.They got backstage to see Marco,llie,and Jimmy already done setting up.Jimmy then got back up an dchecked in front of the curtain.

Jimmy looked at the crowd and it was a full house,"I see the producers!"Jimmy exclaimed excitedly.

"Really! How's my hair!"Marco asked quickly.

"Marco forget about your looks its your talent!"Ellie said trying to calm him down.

"Yeah you're right El."Marco said as he took a deep breath.

Manny then looked at Craig."You nervous?There are a lot of people here.."

"Me?Nah...done it before."Craig said confidently."Besides the songs dedicated to you."

"Really!"Manny asked excitedly."Are you serious?"

"Yeah babe,we going to go on in like 15 I think.It's a break."Craig said looking at the producer in the middle.

"You seem interested in that one who is he?"Manny asked now looking at the middle producer.

"He is the best of the best,"Craig said.The producer was quite good-looking.He seemed no older than late twenties.He had big sunglasses and some ripped jean pants with a black Zeppelin shirt.He had what seemed a platinum watch and he was drinking some wine."He managed five bands and all went Plat.He is loaded big time and all those five bands were bands he had picked up at gigs like these two from here actually...so if he does choose us no doubt we'll rock and make it."

Manny looked up at him."There is no doubt that you will..I know it..um Craig im going to go to the bathroom i'll be back."Manny said.Craig gave her a quick kiss before she went to the bathroom.As soon as she entered the scent of pot took over her head.She then waved the thick layer of smoke as she waved her arm to block it she saw a familiar face.

"Manny! Hu-ay!"Roxy spoke.Manny looked confused.

"What are you doing here?"Manny asked looking disguested.

"Um I always go to gigs that's where the best stuff is...I think Marissa moved somewhere else...California somewhere where he aunt lives."Roxy said as she stumbled to Manny.Manny stepped back.

"Er..yeah I just came to check my make-up.Look I want to forget all that crap I did that is behind me...there is no way im going back."Manny said as she pushed away Roxy's hand where the joint was.

"Oh come on Manny seriously...for old times sake can you resist Temptation?"Roxy asked with a grin holding up the joint.Manny stared at Roxy.The music was thumping all the surroundings...

Craig was about to go on i five and Manny still hadn't returned.He was tapping his foot.He turned to see Marco singing,"In your eyes I lost my place..."

Jimmy was fingering his guitar making sure he had everything down.Ellie on the other hand looked up at Craig at the same time.Craig smiled at her and she smiled back.He got up and sat next to her.

"Hey you ready?"He asked her.Ellie nodded.

"Just a little nervous..I mean what if I mess up."Ellie said looking at her feet.

"Don't worry you don't mess up you can't think like that."Craig hugged her."We're going to get it trust me then we will be rolling in money!"

"Ha! yeah I bet,and then we'll get to travel and be on tour."Ellie giggled.

"Yeah! Then we will end up on behind the music."Craig laughed and Ellie joined in.

"Thanks Craig you made me feel so much better."Ellie said with a soft smile.

"I'm glad..damn two minutes left where is Manny!"Craig asked.Ellie's then small smile faded into a small frown.All of a sudden Manny came back with a grin on her face.

"Manny! I thought you weren't going to come! We're about to go on."Craig said as he looked at Manny.

"I would never miss it!"Manny said boldly."Good luck Craig! I love you!"Manny hugged Craig and then gave him a huge kiss.Craig hugged her tightly and smiled a little akwardly but then heard the announcer.

Manny then went down to the audiance.There was a spot reserved for band memebers family and Manny sat down.Craig on the other hand never felt so confident in his life.

"Are you guys ready?"Craig turned to his bandmates.

"Yeah."They all said.Craig then turned to the front and he heard the guy say.

"_So without further ado (a/n dont know how to spell it) I give you...downtown sasquwatch!"_

The curtain raised and Craig took the microphone.'Hey we're Downtown Sasquwatch im Craig the lead singer-thank you-um to my right is Jimmy Brookes on the guitar to my right is Marco on the bass and behind me is Ellie on the drums.Well hope you enjoy thanks..."

Craig then heard Ellie's drumsticks click four times and Craig began.

"_Seems to stop my breath,my head on your chest waiting to to cave in from the bottom of my..hear your voice again can we dim the sun and_

_wonder where've we been,Maybe you and me so kiss me like you did,my heart stopped beating such a softer sin.I'm melting,I'm melting,in your eyes,i've lost my place could stay a while.and im melting in your eyes like my first time that I caught fire so stay with me lay with me now.Never caught my breath every second without you i'm a mess.Ever known each other trust these words are stoked.My cuts aren't healing learning how to love i'm melting,I'm melting,in your eyes,i've lost my place could stay a while.and im melting in your eyes like my first time that I caught fire so just stay with me lay with me now.You could stay and watch me fall and of course ill ask for help,just stay with me now.We could take our heads off stay in bed just make love,thats all just stay with me now..I'm melting,I'm melting,in your eyes,i've lost my place could stay a while.and im melting in your eyes like my first time that I caught fire so stay with me lay with me,and im melting in your eyes like my first time that I caught fire so stay with me lay with me stay with me lay with me."_

_He looked at Manny who was smiling at him.He never felt so in love with her.She looked like she was going to cry yet she had the biggest smile on her face.Her eyes were a little red from what seemed she was tearing already.He then smiled and continued,_,"_In your eyes let's just sleep till the sun burns out,im melting in your eyes,im melting in your eyes,in your eyes,lets sleep till the sun burns out..im melting in your eyes..."_

There was a loud thunder of applause even the producers stood on thier feet to give them a thumbs up.The producer they were looking at earlier had a big smile and took his ceel phone off and then held the cell phone out to the auidance so whoever he was talkignt o could hear the crowd.He then bgean to talk again and then looked at Craig and flashed him his card and sat back down.

He took the microphone.His heart wa sbeating he felt though as he was going to explode form happiness.He never felt this excited the producer was interested and was going to make them famous there wasn't a doubt about it anymore.It was set done deal.

"Thank you guys! This isn't the last you'll hear of us! Trust me!"Craig said as he looked around he turned to his bands mates who were also enjoying this."Thank you!"

He then looked down at Manny one more time who seemed to be happy for him she was appluading and cheering loudly even Craig could make out what she was saying.The curtain closed and Craig and hsi bands then acted like children.Marco began jumping up and down,Jimmy was saying _'Fuck yeah we did it!'._

Ellie then ran to Craig and jumped on him and gave him a hug.He hugged his friend back.Just then he heard heels clack.He put Ellie down and saw Manny looking at them akward.

"We did it!"Craig said excitedly as he ran towards Manny and gave her a big kiss.She then seemed more relaxed."The producer wants to see us!"

"What!Seriously!"Manny asked still breathing hard from the kiss.

"Yeah and i'm going to talk to him right now.C'mon."Craig said as he took Manny's hand.

"Where are you going?"Jimmy yelled after them.

"Yeah where are you guys going?"Marco asked as well.

"I am going to go talk to the producer,"Craig said trying to sound professional but his goofy grin couldn't hide his excitement.

"Which one!"Ellie asked.

Craig then pointed to the middle producer who was looking at Craig and ushered him to come down.

"Gotta go i'll tell you guys everything!"CRaig rushed still holding Manny's hand tightly.They went offstage and into the crowd.

"Oh my god you guys rocked!"A girl said.

A bunch of people were complimenting Craig.One pretty girl even said.

"Craig can I fuck you you were soo good!"

Manny felt like going and socking that girl but Craig didn't seem to hear.He was determined to get to the producer.She bumped into a couple of people when Craig finally stopped.

The producer was behind a table.He was very good looking up close.

"Craig right?"The producer asked.He lowered his shades and revealed green eyes.

"Yeah that's right."Craig said as he reached his hands out to shake the producers hand.

"As you know i'm James Wolf."He said flashing out an what looked to be an expensive buissness card.

"Yeah of course all your bands were a huge success!Every band that you spotted became famous!"Craig said before stopping himself.

"Right...you are."He then shifted his eyes on Manny,"Who is this lovely woman?"

"Oh this is my girlfriend Manny."Craig introuduced her.

"Hi."Manny beamed.

"You have a look of an actress,beautiful woman Mr..."

"Manning,sir."Craig said.

"Right Manning well anyways we need to talk and um im sure Manny doesn't mind that this will be a private conversation."James said looking at Manny with a smile.

"Um,"Craig began and looked at manny.

"No!It's fine really I thought i saw my friend here anyways! So i'll see you later!"Manny said reassuringly.

Craig smiled."Bye."

Then Craig and James began walking and talking.

Manny sighed as she looked Marco and Jimmy seemed to be talking among fans because JImmy kept on saying.

"_It wasn't hard at all and of course we have been playing since grade nine."_

Manny then saw a face in the crowd and fear washe dover her body.She quicklt turned and started to run towards Marco.When she felt someone grab her shoulder and spin her around.

"You've been avoiding me."He said to her.

"Well not many girls talk to the guy that rapped her!"Manny said coldly as she turned again to walk away he spun her around and laughed.

"Seriously did you think I was going to let you off that easily?"He asked her as if it was some joke.

"You bastard let me go or is that the only way you get layed? You can't even get a girl so you rape them!"Manny asked adding a laugh.

Another band just came on stage and started playing punk/hardcore.The lights were flashing he grinned and grabbed her and covering her mouth.She tried to scream but nobody payed any attention.

He dragged her off to the bathrrom and she was tryng to scream but his grip on her became tighter.

"Craig your band sure shows talent.I am not going to try to make it seem like i dont want to sign your band because I do.I would be foolish nto to sign your band as soon as possible.There is a tour going on have you heard of the band Crash and Fall?"James asked Craig.

That sentence had a real impact on Craig because it took him a couple of seconds to answer.

"Er..YEAH! they are an awesome band they are under your label right?"Craig asked James.

"Wow Craig you sure have done your homework on me."James chuckled.

"Well I ..er."Craig stuttered in embaressement.

"It's alright,I have the papers right here I just need to ask you a couple of questions."James said as they exited Joey's Underground.

"Sure."Craig said as a chill went through his body because of the cold.

They went to James hummer and he pulled out some papers.

"This is a contract,"James said he took out a pen,"This pen will make you famous."

Craig then took a deep breath."Your serious?"

"Yeah your signing for the whole band.Now you need to make up your mind now,becaus ethere are a lot of bands that I would also want to sign but you guy are my first so yes?"James asked Craig.

"If I do sign what about school you mentioned something about the tour.."Craig asked cautiously.

"Well yes don't worry you will tour on the road mostly in America.You'll be away for a bit like two months."James said as if bored with the conversation,"Oh yeah and school it will be taken care of."

Craig looked at the pen.

"In there you seemed as if it was your dream to do this and now your hesistant."James said skepicaly.

"Oh no! Um,"Craig took the pen and signed his name on the spots he needed to.

"Great welcome to Wolf records!Okay now there is this one thing we need to take care of."He said as he looked over the contract.

"What?"Craig asked feeling some rush to him.

"You have an image as a rocker boy that any girl could fall for the heart throb rocker if you will...and if girl's were to hear that you have a girlfriend it would be bad for the image..so with the price of fame comes sacrifices and um Manny as hot as she is will have to go."James said.

Craig felt very uncomfortable with the situation.

"Mr.Wolf I can't break up with my girlfriend."Craig said walking after him."I love her."

"Mr.Manning those are my rules and you already signed the contract you are too young to know what love is,the closest thing to love a rockstar has is sex.So Craig you better do it because we start going on tour tomorow I am contacting your father right now to let him know okay so say your good byes and tell your band."James said as he got on his cell phone.Craig stood thier speachless.

"Gio get off me!"Manny screamed.He had her pinned against the wall and was putting his hands underneath her skirt.

"Shut up!"Giovani snapped.Just and that moment Giovani swung back and was on the floor.Manny fell to the floor.and she shook her head when she looke dup she saw Craig on top of Giovani punching him non stop over and over.Manny looked up and yelled.

"Craig! STOP!"

People were now circling them.Jimmy and Marco saw and pulled Craig off of Gioavani.

"He was trying to rape my girlfriend!"Craig roared.

"She's a slut so who gives a damn!"Giovani shouted wipping the blood off himself.

Craig tried to break free but he couldn't,"You mother fucker I swear to god i'll kill you!"

Giovani got up and laughed."Whatever man at least she gave me a good time."

Manny who was on the floor stood up and went up to Giovani and slapped him right across the face.

Giovani raised his hand to strike Manny when Craig punched Giovani on the nose so hard blood began gushing.By then more people started to notice.But the comotion of the band playing took over.

Giovani grabbed his nose with blood seeping through.Ellie then came and shouted,"Craig!"

But Craig paid no mind. As soon as Giovani looked up Craig swung again.Thsi time hitting Giovani's jaw.Blood was all over Giovani's face dripping down.Blood was on Craig's shirt.Giovani stumbled to the ground and began coughing.Craig then kicked him in the stomach.

Roxy then came into the crowd,"GIO!"She cried.Manny then looked at Roxy.

"You're defending him?"Manny asked angrily.

"No but hello he could sue Craig's ass off in case you haven't noticed his nose is busted and maybe even his jaw!"Roxy shouted at Manny.Manny then bit her lip before turning to Craig.

_Giovani ripped her shirt off,"Please don't!"_

Craig then jumped on top of Giovani and kept on socking him but Giovani socked Craig on his bottom jaw causing Craig to fall back.

_He pulled down her pants followed by her underwear.Manny tried to kick but the other guys held her down._

Giovani began socking Craig but Craig jumped on top of him and punched his stomach hard.

_He then began to go inside her..._

Tears came from her eyes."CRAIG!"Manny screamed.

Craig then turned to look at her.Giovani then quickly got up and ran out of there leaving a trail of blood.

Craig then ran to Manny and hugged her.

"Oh my god Manny are you okay?I swear I would've killed him."Craig said as Manny was crying.

"Craig what if you would've went to jail!"Manny cried as she looked up at him.

"I wouldn't care as long as he didn't touch you ever again!"Craig tried to sooth her.

"You can't always do that Craig!You have your whole life ahead of you,you can't just stop your life for me!"Manny said calming down as she put her hand on his cheek.Craig then remembered.

_"You have an image as a rocker boy that any girl could fall for the heart throb rocker if you will...and if girl's were to hear that you have a girlfriend it would be bad for the image..so with the price of fame comes sacrifices and um Manny as hot as she is will have to go."James said._

"Thank you Craig for defending me...I love you."Manny said as she hugged him.

Jimmy and Marco then went up to him.Ellie then followed close by.

"Um we should get you cleaned up."Jimmy said pointing to Craig's shirt.Craig then nodded.

"Are you alright?"Ellie asked Craig.Craig then looked at Manny.

"Yeah im okay.I need to talk to Manny first."Craig said.

Manny then looked up at him.Craig then took Manny's hand.he lead her outside and he began walking.None of them said a word.

It soon became obvious where they were going.

"The park..."Manny said quietly.Craig then looked at her and nodded.

"This place has a lot of memories doesn't it?"Craig asked Manny looking at her.She then turned to look at him.

"Yeah some which I wish I didn't remember."Manny replied as she looked up at the stars."When me and you were walking there were no stars out but one,I looked at it but forgot to make a wish..if I make one now will it count?"

Craig then turned to her suprised by her sentence."Yeah Manny everything is possible."

Manny then closed her eyes and opened them."I made my wish."

"What was it?"Craig asked.By now they were walking to the swings.

"I wished that me and you would be together and that the rest of my life would be happy."Manny whispered.

"Well i'm pretty sure it will come true."Craig smiled.

"I love you Craig I never want to leave you."Manny said as she grabbed Craig and pulled him to a passionate kiss.At first it was a normal kiss but then Manny slipped her tounge into his mouth.He excepted it and then began to rub his tounge on hers and Manny let out a little moan.She then began to kiss him more passionatly soon inbetween thier frenching they began to gasp to breath neither of them wanted to stop.Manny then sat on Craig's lap.Then began feeling him up.Craig was sure enjoying this but then stopped.

"What happened?"Manny asked him.

"Let's go on the swings."Craig pointed to them.Manny looked at him akwardly.But then went to one swing.

"I slept in that jungle gym once."She said pointing to them.

Craig was about to speak when she interupted.

"How did the talk with the producer go?"Manny asked.Craig then felt like something stabbed him in the heart.

"It went alright.."Craig said slowly.

"What do you mean?"She asked curiously looking at him.

"He signed us to Wolf labels."Craig said looking at her.Manny then smiled.

"Oh my god that's great!"She then went and hugged him tightly."When do you record!"

Once Manny let go of him he said looking down,"Tomorow.."

"Oh thats-...tomorow?"She asked him sounding a bit dissapointed.

"Yeah...and um we are going to be on tour also...for two months.."Craig said now knowing what he had to tell her.

"So I won't see you for two months?"Manny asked sounded as if she was going to cry.

"No you won't we'll be in california.."Craig said now looking at Manny who was now looking straight ahead.

"So then i'll see you then when I go and-"

"No...Manny you'll be at that hotel and i'll be touring all over California...maybe even other states."Craig said looking at Manny who was now teary eyes.

"Craig...two months that's forever.What abotu Christmas?What about your family?"Manny asked now trying to hold back her crying.

"I know,well maybe I can come and visit you Joey and Angie."Craig said with a smile on his face.Then his smile faded away and Manny saw that.

"Craig what are you really trying to tell me?"Manny asked boldly.

"Remember when you said I can't stop my life for you...well James said that i'm going to live the rock star life and that...we need to break up."Craig said looking at Manny.

She then looked at him and tears were comming out of her eyes.

* * *

**OMG! I finally finished well that chapter went longer than I thought!Man sorry about the cliffhanger! Wow I had no idea how the chapter was going to end!Wow...hope u liked the twist!I bet that you guys weren't expecting that!Well anyways dont worry Cranny fans remember what I said that this story is far from over!Oh and Jemma fans dont worry next chappy there will be moreof them! Okay now remember what I said about u guys can give me suggestions! well go on!Give me some! Lol well okay I think you guys noticed I added Janny...well yeah but um I dunno why but im starting to like the couple so I added that lil bit/and u guys may have noticed a little Crellie well that was because people e-mailed me and requested those two couples but I am 100 CRANNY! So seriously overall the chappy what did u think? If its a flame please dont flame but make suggestions! O and yes Kelly I have started on the Moulin Rouge story!**

**Okay and if you guys want to help me on this story juss ask!so PULEASEEEEEEE REVIEW!**

**now for your sneek peeks:**

Craig saw the drug offered to him.

"It's meth Craig."She said pushing it towards him.

"Yeah I know what it is."Craig said looking at her.

"Look you're on tour all the time you need to keep awake and this will help you."

Craig looked at it and looked at her again.

"Here you can snort it or take it stright to the head."She said as she gave him lines.

"I dunno I mean my girl-"

She gave him and eye,"Ex-girlfriend had a problem with drugs and.."

She sighed heavily"Craig are you gonna take it or not?"

XxX

"Thanks for letting me move in with you."Manny said as she entered Roxy's room.

"It's no problem sorry if it smells like pot but um before you came i kinda-"

"Well yeah anyways im going to try to stay off drugs."Manny said as she inhailed the drugs scent.

"Okay well have you ever tried MiXyz?"Roxy asked Manny.

"No what's that?"Manny asked.

"Well simple dear one take a drink."Roxy offered as she handed Manny a bottle that had red liquid.

XxX

"Emma why won't you talk to me?"Jay asked her as he ran after her.

"Jay you already ruined my life enough!"Emma shouted at him as he still followed her.

"Look you just been freaking on me since that closet thing and I-"

"Jay you're so stupid you don't get it!"Emma snapped at Jay.

"Look I don't get why you are so snappy and bitchy lately!"Jay yelled after her.Emma then walked up and muttered.

"So that's what you call the mother of your child.That's tight Jay im pregant!"Emma said coldly.

XxX

**PLEASE REVIEW! I heart U guys!**


	10. Broken

**hello im back sry i took so long so ill make this short.There may be not that much cranny but if u review the next chappy is gonna be full of cranny.this chapter is intense i guarantee ull like it.and this is also a special chappy becaus ema good friend now an dpartner and crime Starduss! helped me greatly!if it wasn't her her i could have never done this wonderful chapter! okay well u guys r in for a huge shock! and the next chapter ill just give you a hint u will be oh ma god by the end of this and next chapter ill have to make it rated M okay so check the rated M stuff in a month.This chap is juss wow.! trust me! so yes i hope like it and it will take u an hour to read juss warning u( or less if u r fast)**

**So thansk again and thanx starduss! please review and well go on read up!**

Summary:Manny finally got her life back together,friends with Craig even..but when a new girl comes will she

take her back to the life that she just recovered?Or even worse?Ashley comes back from London..and not sure of the relationship

rated:pg-13 for violence,drug use,breif sex,language,situations involving teens

Disclaimer:I do not own Degrassi;or any of the songs used in the story

warnings:in future chapters there may be a scene not meant for younger audience which i will change the ratings

a/n:even if i dont get that much reviews i will continue to update I really fell in love with the plot and

i think this teaches us a lesson to always choose the right friends and learn to say no

* * *

_If I had any meaning in this ol big world Can you tell a lost and lonely girl If I was happy for a day I'd risk it all That's why when I'm with I'm not afraid to fall And if you left me, and if you leave me  
At least I'd have a cherish all the memories I've been having trouble With keeping up this smile I've been having trouble Hurting for quite a while And I'm feeling stupid Cause I did it to me And I'm feeling desperate  
From being unhappy Why'd you leave me like this? With scars across my heart and on my wrists When I looked in your eyes I didn't know happiness had a price And you take advantage of a simple heartbreak  
At least you had to love to know how to ache But don't, hesitate to let your feelings be known It's better to love and lose then just be aloneAnd if they left you, and if they leave you  
At least you know in their heart they will always keep you I've been having trouble With keeping up this smile I've been having trouble Hurting for quite a while And I'm feeling stupid Cause I did it to me  
And I'm feeling desperate From being unhappyWhy'd you leave me like this? With scars across my heart and on my wrists When I looked in your eyes I didn't know happiness had a price  
I'm feeling broken Scattered pieces on the ground I'm feeling desperate now can abandoned souls be foundI've been having trouble With keeping up this smile I've been having trouble  
Hurting for quite a while And I'm feeling stupid Cause I did it to me And I'm feeling desperate From being unhappy Why'd you leave me like this?  
With scars across my heart and on my wrists When I looked in your eyes I didn't know happiness had a price__

* * *

_

**Chapter 10**-Broken

**IN THE PARK**

"I cant believe it. He's actually gone. He left me." Manny thought to herself as she walked alone in the park like she did so many times before. She started thinking about how she had to say goodbye to Craig at the airport just 2 hours earlier.

"_C'mon Manny, baby please don't cry. Ill be back before you know it. It will be o.k." Craig said to Manny as he held her tightly. Although he was just as sad as she was he had 2 be strong and hold his feelings back for Manny's sake._

"_Well what do you want me to do Craig? I mean you are leaving me for 2 months. Anything could happen in those 2 months. What if you meet some girl or something?" Manny said as she cried in Craig's arms. Marco, Jimmy, and Ellie were all looking around nonchalantly waiting by the terminal as Craig and Manny said their emotional goodbyes. _

"_Manny that's nonsense. You know I only have eyes for you. Don't think of it as 2 months away from each other, think of it as in 2 months we will be together again. Be creative."_

_**ATTENTION PASSENGERS, FLIGHT 186 TO LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA IS BORDING NOW**_

"_Manny, sweetie, I have to go now. I'm gonna miss you so much. You know that." Craig said as he gently pushed her away from his chest to look into her eyes. "O.k. who loves you most?" Craig continued. Manny didn't say anything. She just sadly looked down to the ground._

"_Manny, who loves you most?"_

"_You do." Manny said as she finally looked up at him._

"_You gonna let me see you smile before I go ?" Craig said trying to maintain his cheerful attitude. Manny didn't smile. She just looked at him with a very depressing look on her face. Craig then grabbed her by her waist and started tickling her neck with his lips. _

"_Craig" Manny laughed._

"_Ha that's more like it." Craig said with a huge smile._

"_Manny, I love you."_

"_I love you to Craig."_

_The couple then held hands as they kissed each other one last time. As they were parting Craig pulled Manny back by the hand for one more kiss._

"I'm just going to have to get through this." Manny said to herself as she continued walking through the park. When she got closer to the other side she recognized someone walking on the sidewalk. It was J.T. She had not seen him since she talk to him in school. They had to keep their friendship a secret. She was actually happy to see him.

"J.T. hey." Manny said as she walked up to him.

"Hey. How have you been?"

"I've been better."

"What's wrong?" J.T. asked his friend.

"Craig's band won the record deal last night and they had to go to L.A. this morning. Now I have no one." Manny said sadly.

"Manny that's not true. You got me." J.T. said with a hand on her shoulder.

"J.T. thanks. You are such a good friend." She hugged him.

"MANNY. HEY MANNY**." **Manny heard some one yell. She turned around and saw Roxy. _She shows up at the weirdest times _Manny thought to herself.

" MANNY. COME HERE." Roxy yelled again.

"I'm gonna go now J.T. Call me when you get a chance o.k. bye." Manny said as she pulled away form J.T. She blew him a kiss and walked over to where Roxy was.

**J.T. POV**

J.T. watched Manny as she ran off to Roxy. _Manny is so beautiful. How could Craig ever leave her, _J.T. thought to himself. "Wait what am I saying. I have a girlfriend. A great girlfriend, who I love. Liberty, Liberty, Liberty." J.T. said to himself.

**NORMAL POV**

"Manny, what's up girl?" Roxy asked Manny.

"Nothing. I was just talking to a friend." Manny responded as the two girls walked.

"I see. Where's your psycho boyfriend?"

"He's not a psycho. He left for L.A. this morning. He will be gone for 2 months."

"Bummer. I bet you're hurtin."

"I am." Manny said as she looked down at her feet.

The two girls were quiet for a second. Manny reached in her back pocket to get her pack of cigarettes.

"Want a cig?" Manny asked Roxy.

"I'd love one." Roxy replied.

Manny pulled out a lighter , lit Roxy's then lit her own.

"Ya know Gio got hurt pretty bad." Roxy said like it was suppose to have some sort of significance.

"Good, that asshole deserved it." Manny said defensively.

"Whoa . Chill. I was just letting you know." Roxy knew that she probably shouldn't have brought it up. She desperately wanted to change the subject.

"Do you ummm wanna go smoke some shit?" she asked Manny.

"I don't know Roxy. I really don't think I need to go back to that shit." Manny said trying to talk herself out of it.

"You did at Joey's Underground." Roxy said in a pleading voice.

"That was a one time thing."

"C'mon Manny. Nobody has to know. It will just be between me and you. Promise." Roxy said in a very re-assuring way.

"Pleaseeeee. Pleaseeee." Roxy pleaded. She then through her arms around Manny.

"I'll be your best friend." a smiling Roxy said. Manny couldn't do anything but laugh.

"O.k. O.k." Manny finally gave in.

"Great lets go." Roxy took Manny's hand and they headed towards Roxy's house. After about 15 minutes Roxy and Manny were walking up to a house not that far from Manny's house.

"I had no idea you lived so close to me." Manny said.

"Yea." Roxy responded. "Where do you live now?"

"I've been staying at Craig's house. But I will be staying somewhere else tonight since he's gone. It would be so awkward staying there with just Joey and Ang. I have no idea where I'm gonna go."

"I would let you stay with me but my parents don't even like me let alone my friends." Roxy laughed.

"It's cool. But thanks anyways."

"No problem."

"Be quiet o.k. My parents might be home." Roxy said as she began to turn her door knob.

"MOM…DAD." She said as they walked in. "O.k. cool. They aren't home."

They walked down the hallway to Roxy's room.

"I really like your room." Manny told her.

"Thanks."

Roxy went to go sit down on the bed to prepare the drugs while Manny just walked around.

"I absolutely love your wardrobe." Manny said all giddy while she looked in Roxy's closet.

"We're about the same size. You can borrow whatever you want." Roxy said.

"Thanks."

_Roxy is so much nicer and realer than Marissa ever was _Manny thought to herself.

"No problem. C'mon" Roxy said as she motioned for Manny to come over with her hand.

Manny went and plopped over on the bed.

"I have to admit. I missed getting high." Manny said with a giggle.

"Of course you did" Roxy said playfully pushing her.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_The sky was sort of pale pink. He had never even seen that color before. It was weird how he was interested in it. Come to think of it he had seen that color before. It was the color of Manny's sweater outfit he remembered how she would wear that when they used to go out to the lake or park or how she always made that smile, that smile alone could make her famous. He wondered when the day she would come. Maybe he could see her and- _

_"You're thinking about her aren't you?" Elle interrupted his thoughts. _

_He looked at Ellie who was sitting next to him. _

_"How'd you know?" Craig asked her as she gave him a tired grin. _

_"You have that look in your eyes...it's hard to explain but I just know when you are thinking of her." Ellie smiled. _

_"I miss her I really regret telling her that I had to break up with her. I shoulda just told her that our relationship had to be a secret from James and the press and stuff." Craig said with guilty thoughts dancing around his head. _

_"Yeah you guys are-" _

_**ATTENTION FLIGHT 186 to Los Angeles California is now boarding** _

_"I guess this is where we get off." He heard Jimmy say in the seat behind them. _

_They unbuckled their seat belts and made their way to the exit. California is exactly what Craig pictured it was. _

_There were people rushing everywhere of all different races even though it was November it was sunny and warm. The sky was a pinkish color yet it was warm. He stepped down and saw James there but next to him was a young girl with blonde hair and green eyes. She looked Craig's age or even younger. _

_"Eye candy huh?" Jimmy whispered to Craig as they walked towards him. _

_"Shut up man." Craig said annoyed. _

_"Mr. Wolf it's great here!" Marco blurted out as soon as Marco saw James. _

_"Well this is wonderful California." James chuckled." Ah! Craig just the man I was looking for now will you introduce me to your band mates?" James asked. _

_Craig made his way towards the front and looked at his friends. _

_"Well this is Ellie, Jimmy and as you probably already met Marco." Craig said. _

_"Pleasure to meet you all and now may I introduce your assistant and my representative Kate. Yes, Marco call her Kate. She will be with you on the road all the time." James said. _

_"You mean you're not going to be with us?" Jimmy asked concerned. _

_"With you? How do you think I make money if I am going on tour I'm a producer I record your music, yes I am your agent also but you see I can't be with you all the time." James said as though he expected the band to know all this. _

_"Well let's get to my office shall we? Besides the tour starts tomorrow." James added. _

_"TOMORROW!" They all added with a yell. _

_"Yes our little trip was a last minute thing." James laughed as he walked to a limo. _

_"Ladies first." James said as Ellie was about to go but then Kate stepped in front of her and smiled. _

_"Over here you need to know where you stand you go after me." Kate added with a smirk as she sat inside the limo. _

_"Little frisky isn't she?" James asked amused. _

_Craig's eyebrows were raised as Kate looked at him she winked. Craig then gave her a goofy smile and Jimmy noticed. _

_"Looks like you caught a case of dumbass which," Jimmy pulled out his cell phone with Manny's number already dialed."-you need to cure." _

_Craig pushed away the phone. _

_"Not now." Craig then got into the limo. _

_JAMES WOLF OFFICE _

_"Okay now this is the deal we are going to get you guys made over. Take you down to L.A.'s shopping area get you guys all dressed up-" _

_Marco smiled excitedly. _

_"And since you guys haven't gotten anytime to practice I already had Joey's Underground send me the audio of your performance so you guys will-" _

_"Lip sync?" Ellie asked a little angry. _

_"Yes you guys will have to because admit it you guys you don't even have time to practice and you are going to be an opening act for a big time band stop being in your fantasy life and get real. Welcome to the life of a rock'n roller." James said. _

_Craig then looked at Kate who again smiled seductively at him. He felt butterflies in his stomach then quickly focused on James who then began to talk about what he wanted their image to be. _

_Craig sighed and then thought about Manny she was probably crying or being by herself at Joey's or reading a magazine..._

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

"Roxy you are so fuckin cool. I mean it. Like you're the shit." Manny said.

"Thank you thank you thank you. I know."

The girls were both very high. They had the music blastin.

" You're not a bitch like Marissa was. I know she's your friend and everything but she is a bitch and I'm glad that bitch is gone" Manny expressed.

"Ha ha ha." Roxy laughed. "It's o.k. To tell you the truth, I'm glad she's gone to."

"We should celebrate." Manny said as she picked up the tequila bottle and took a huge swig of it. Drops of it dripped down her chin. Then Roxy yanked it out of her hand spilling even more of it. "Cheers" She to took a huge swig.

"I feel great. Roxy what if we never go back to normal, like what if we are like this forever?" Manny asked giggling like crazy.

"Trust me you'll snap back to reality when you get to school tomorrow." Roxy said.

"I hate school. It's a huge pain in my ass. But I have to go like everyday if I want to pass."

"So do I. I have to turn in my field trip money for California. Tomorrow is the last day." Roxy slurred.

"Holy shit Roxy. I completely forgot about California. Craig got me an audition there. It's the same week as the field trip." Manny began as she stood up. "It's gonna be perfect. I get to go to Cali, audition, and see Craig. Plus you know we would tear it up down in L.A."

"Fo Sho. Have you already paid?" Roxy asked.

"Oh yea. Me and J.T. paid like forever ago."

"Who's J.T. ?"

"He's a friend of mine. You know that guy I was at the park with earlier."

"Oh yea…Manny I hate to do this but, my parents will probably be here soon. I wish you could stay." Roxy said sadly.

"I understand completely." Manny said.

Roxy walked Manny to the door.

"So, see you at school tomorrow?" Manny said as they hugged each other goodbye.

"Yea. Bye. Be careful."

"I will. Bye." Manny smiled.

Manny's smile quickly faded.

"Now what do I do?" Manny said aloud as she walked along the side walk. It was a cold winter night in late November.

_I haven't talked to my mom in awhile. Maybe she has cooled off and no longer hates me, _Manny thought to herself. She walked very slowly to her house. Taking baby steps and kicking rocks around to prolong it. When she turned the corner she saw her moms car so she knew she was home. She finally got to her apartment building. When Manny walked in she kind of got the feeling of sadness mixed with so many other feelings. She missed coming home and being in her own room. She missed the freedom of being completely comfortable that you only feel when you are at your own house. When Manny got to her apartment she took a deep breath before she went in. She walked in and her mom was the first thing she saw. She was just sitting at the kitchen table.

"Hey M-mom. How have you been lately?" Manny asked nervously.

Manny's mom didn't say anything. She just sat there still staring at whatever it was she was staring at.

"I need to stay here for a little while. It wont be long. I promise. O.k." Manny said in a weird tone.

She slowly walked passed her mother and headed towards the stairs. When she got up the stairs she peaked into her parents room. She saw a pair of her dads shoes. She still couldn't believe that he was dead. She couldn't go to the funeral because she was weak in the hospital. She got sad but she didn't cry. Her room was exactly the same way she left it. A mess. Manny laid down on her bed. It was about 11:00 p.m. She was wide awake. From the meth obviously. She laid there staring at the ceiling. "I wish Craig was here" Manny said as she rolled over holding the stuffed animal that Craig won at the carnival for her nearly 3 years ago. 6:30 finally rolled around and Manny had not slept at all. She got up to get dressed for school. After her shower she needed to find something to wear. It was fairly cold outside so she decided on tight jeans and a jean jacket to match with a black turtle neck underneath. She wore black chunky high heel boots and her hair down. When she went downstairs her mom was still down there. She didn't know if she had been awake all night or if she had gotten up early. She was in the kitchen making coffee.

"Bye mom. I'll see you when I get home." Manny said as she went for the door.

"Leave your key Mannuella."

Manny heard her mom say something but wasn't quite sure.

"Mom did you say something?" Manny asked.

"Leave your key." Manny's mom said in a stern voice.

"What. Mom why?" Manny asked her confused.

Ms. Santos walked over to her.

"Manny I'm not about to go through this with you. Just give me your key." She said as she yanked Manny's keys out of her hand. She walked back in the kitchen.

"Why are you doing this? What is your problem with me?" Manny asked near tears.

Ms. Santos once again walked over to her but really close this time. "Do you even have to ask me that?"

Manny couldn't believe the way her own mother was treating her. Manny just stood there while Ms. Santos went back in the kitchen.

"Oh and get your stuff, I don't want you to have any reason to come back here." Ms. Santos said loudly so Manny could hear her.

Manny had no response she just slowly walked up stairs. When she got to her room she threw her stuff down and started pacing back and forth while crying. She then started rummaging through her desk and her dresser. She was desperate to find something sharp. On the floor she found a safety pin. She threw her jacket off and rolled up her sleeve. She stuck the safety pin in and dragged it across her skin. It was the worst she had ever felt it. She looked at her arm and then fell to the ground. "Why do things have to be so fucked up" she cried in a whisper. She looked around and then dried her tears. She got up and went to the bathroom to get some type of bandage for her arm. After she cleaned her arm she went in her room and gathered everything that mattered to her. It wasn't that much. She took one last look at her room because she knew it was probably the last time that she would see it. As she reached the bottom of the stairs she could see her mom just standing there not giving a damn.

"You are so selfish." Manny said to her mother as she opened the door. Of course her mom said nothing. Manny walked out and slammed the door. She had no idea what she was going to do. The sun hurt her eyes as she walked out of her building. She reached in her bag and pulled out her sun glasses.

"I'm gonna look like a dumbass carrying this shit around school all day." Manny said to herself as she headed towards Degrassi.

"MANNYYYY, WAIT UP."

Manny knew it was Roxy. But she didn't mind. She liked Roxy.

"Manny, hey" Roxy said as she ran up to Manny. She was slightly out of breath. "Don't you look fabulous this morning my love."

"Not so bad yourself hot stuff." Manny said as the two girls laughed.

"What are you doing with all this stuff?" Roxy asked curiously.

"I just stopped by my moms house to pick up a few things."

"Are you carry it around school?"

"I guess I'm gonna have to."

"You can't do that. I'll tell you what. We'll put some of it in my locker and then some in your locker. Whatever's left we'll split up and carry it, o.k." Roxy said sweetly.

Manny couldn't believe how nice Roxy was. It was nice to have a good friend like that.

"Thanks Roxy."

"No problem."

"Did you get your fieldtrip money?" Manny asked.

"Yea my mom gave it to me this morning."

Before they got to school they wanted to have a smoke real quick in the alley.

**ALLEY**

Manny and Roxy were smoking their cigarettes but weren't really saying much.

"Roxy."

"Yea." she responded.

"Ummm, ummm, never mind." Manny said.

"Manny your so silly." Roxy laughed.

The girls were silent again.

"Roxy, what if we didn't come back?" Manny said.

"What? What are you talking about?" Roxy asked confused.

"California. What if we didn't come back from California?" Manny said now looking directly at Roxy.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. Dead serious. I mean we have nothing to come back for. I don't know about you but I sure as fuck don't. " Manny said trying to sound convincing.

"You're serious aren't you?" Roxy said once more.

"Yes."

"Well what would we do for money?" Roxy asked. She sounded as if she was warming up to the idea.

"We could save money up until the point we leave. I don't know maybe we could start dealing again. The school is going to pay for a hotel for a week. Within that week we could find jobs. I mean we have a lot of time to think of something. Whatever just say you will do it." Manny said with hopeful eyes.

"I don't know Manny. Moving to California is a big thing."

Manny threw down her cigarette and stepped on it to put it out. She then threw her arms around Roxy.

"Pleaseeee. Pleaseeee…I'll be your best friend." Manny laughed.

"O.k." Roxy said with a smirk. "Nice trick." She said that because just the day before she pulled that with Manny.

"Well, I learned from the best." Manny said.

" Uh huh. Whateverz." Roxy laughed.

After Roxy finished her cigarette they went to school. They got there right as the bell was ringing.

"So you wanna give me half that shit?" Roxy asked Manny at the door as they walked towards the lockers.

"Oh yea. Here. Thanks again." Manny said while giving her one of her bags.

"Ill meet you at the steps for lunch." Manny said.

"Koo" Roxy said. "Lataz"

Manny headed to first period. She wasn't that late so Mr. Simpson let it slide. Darcy wasn't at school today so the seat next to Emma was available. Manny sat there.

"Hey Emma." Manny said as she sat down.

"Hey." Emma said with an awkward smile.

"So what's been going on with you lately?" Manny leaned closer to Emma. "You know with being pregnant and all."

"I told my mom and she wasn't as understanding as I assumed she would be." Emma said in a very low tone.

"What, if anyone should understand it should be her."

"I know right. She said that since I had so many examples of how not to do it, examples being you and her, that I should have known better." Emma said rolling her eyes.

"Well it is a little ironic Em." Manny said slightly laughing.

"Oh shut up." Emma said.

Mr. Simpson noticed them talking.

"Girls. That's enough." Mr. Simpson said looking in their direction.

Manny turned around in her seat. Mr. Simpson then started on what seemed like the longest lesson ever. He talked for like an hour straight. But the good thing was that he left them have free time before the bell rang.

"Hey Manny, you should come over for dinner." Emma said while putting her books in her backpack. She wanted to be ready when the bell rang.

"Ummm I don't think that's a good idea." Manny said with a frown.

"Why? Because of my mom? If anything my mom is worried about you. She has no hard feelings against you. I swear." Emma reassured her.

"O.k. What cha havin?" Manny asked.

**RINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG**

"Meet me after school. O.K." Emma said.

"K" Manny responded quickly. She didn't want to be late for her next class.

Her next class was drama. Although they did nothing all day she still wanted to be there so she could visit with J.T. She got there just in time. J.T. was already inside.

"Hey Manny" J.T. said walking up to her.

"Hey." Manny said in a sexy way. She didn't even realize that she was talking to him like that.

"You're looking beautiful as always."

"Ohhh J.T. You're such a charmer." Manny said as she pushed him away playfully.

The two of them flirted for nearly an hour and didn't notice at all. It was sexy yet sweet.

"I can't wait to get to Cali." Manny said as she stretched.

"Me neither. We are going to have a great time."

"Well J.T. if it wasn't for you lending me the money I wouldn't even be going. I'm gonna pay you back."

"You don't have 2 pay me back. Think of it as a present." J.T. told her.

"No. I'm gonna pay you back." Manny said rather forcefully.

"But-" He began.

"Hush. I don't want to hear it" Manny said as she put her finger to his lips. Liberty just happen to walk in.

"J.T." Liberty said mad as hell.

J.T. and Manny turned around and put some space between them immediately.

"Can I talk to you in the hallway for a minute?" Liberty said with her arms crossed.

J.T. walked over to her and they went in the hallway.

**HALLWAY**

Liberty was just kind of like walking back and forth in a short line. J.T. walked over to her an attempted to kiss her but she pushed him away.

"What were you doing?" She asked him.

"Liberty you can't expect me to just stop talking to her. I have known her since I was like 4." J.T. said in an annoyed voice.

"Yea so have I, and?" Liberty expressed.

It was silent.

"The fight you had with her had nothing to do with me." J.T. continued.

Liberty gasped.

"What Liberty?" J.T. said as if he had enough of her.

"Nothing." Liberty said. She then walked off very upset J.T. didn't follow. He went back to class and walked up to Manny.

"I hope I didn't get you in trouble." Manny said sweetly.

"Nah Liberty's just being, well, Liberty." J.T. said as he tossed up his hands.

"Oh I know how that can be." Manny said in agreement.

The bell rung at the end of second period.

"That went by pretty fast." Manny said as she gathered her things.

"Yea" J.T. responded.

"Well, see ya later."

"Bye." J.T. concluded.

Lunch time came around and she went to go find Roxy. She was at the steps like she was suppose to be.

"Lets go smoke one." Roxy said as Manny walked up to her.

"K. C'mon"

They went to the alley.

"I called Hustler and told him that we were gonna start selling again. He wants us to meet him tomorrow." Roxy said right before she inhaled her cigarette.

"Alright. That's doable" Manny said as she lit hers.

"What are you doing tonight?" Roxy asked curiously. "We should get high."

"I can't. I told a friend that I would come to dinner." Manny said.

"Oh well cool."

"I can't wait to get to California Roxy. It's gonna be the shit." Manny said after exhaling a cloud of smoke.

"I know me neither."

After smoking their cigarettes they went back to the school and chilled until the bell rung. When the bell rung they told each other bye and went to class. The rest of the day went by pretty fast and school was over before Manny knew it. She went to her locker to get her stuff.

"Hey Manny, ready to go?" Emma said out of nowhere it seems.

"Ummm yea." Manny answered a little startled.

They headed towards the doors and went outside. Manny knew she had to get her stuff from Roxy but didn't want Emma to know.

"I forgot something. I have to go back." Manny said hoping that Emma wouldn't go with her.

As Manny turned around to go back in the building to go get it Emma turned as if she was going to.

"It's o.k. You can stay here I'll be right out." Manny said hoping it would work. And it did.

"O.k." Emma said.

Manny rushed to Roxy's locker once she got inside. She didn't want her to leave because she didn't know Roxy's locker combo.

"Roxy…Good you're still here" Manny panted.

"Yea. Well here's your stuff." Roxy said as she passed Manny her bag.

"Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow o.k." Manny said.

"Bye."

Manny went back outside.

"K. Lets go."

They were at Emma's within minutes.

"Hey mom look who's here." Emma said as she walked through the door putting her keys down on the table.

Spike turned the corner holding baby Jack.

"Well hello stranger." Spike said with a huge smile.

"Hi." Manny said like a shy kid.

"I haven't seen you in a while. Ya been doing o.k.?"

_Hell no. Everything is kinda shitty actually _"Yea."

"Well why don't you guys take Jack because I need to go to the grocery store." She handed the baby to Emma and went in the kitchen.

"Seeee." Emma looked over her shoulder and said to Manny. Manny just smiled and began making baby faces at Jack.

Dinner was ready at around 7:30. Spike prepared a roast with roasted potatoes and green beans.

"Spike this is all wonderful. Really. Thanks for having me." Manny said.

"Oh no problem sweetheart. Anytime." Spike said as she rubbed Manny's back.

After eating Emma and Manny went down to the basement to get started on their homework. Well at least that's what they were suppose to be doing. They ended up talking. They talked about Craig being gone and how Emma was gonna tell Jay that she's pregnant.

"Manny it's getting late." Emma yawned.

"Booo. Its only 11:00." Manny said as she threw pop corn at her.

"I'm tired." Emma whined.

" You always get tired early." Manny complained.

Emma noticed how Manny's attitude changed when she got up and got her stuff.

"Manny, where are you gonna go." Emma asked in a concerned tone.

"To a friends." Manny lied.

"Do you have anywhere to go?"

"Yes Emma." Manny said with a slightly bitchy tone.

"I don't believe you."

"I don't care." Manny said as she tried to walk pass Emma to get to the stairs.

"Manny wait." Emma said as she walked in front of her to stop her from getting by. "Stay with me."

"Em-" Manny began.

"Just one night. That's all I'm asking." Emma pleaded with her.

"Alright." Manny responded after about 30 seconds of silence.

"Great." Emma said smiling.

She went to get the extra pillows and stuff. Manny stayed the night that night and the night after that.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_It was nothing like Craig or anyone had imagined L.A to be like. It was one fast roller coaster that they've been on sine they first arrived. When Craig walked down the street girl's asked him for his autograph. He never had this much attention before Ellie was known as the 'hot girl in the band'. Marco was the 'Italian Hottie' and Jimmy was the 'Hot Jock in the band'. Craig was still trying to get used to being called the 'hottest one'. It had only been one concert and they were the opening act. But they said they were so good that they decided to start recording already. On the internet their band was all over the place. They even had a website. This had all been in a week. Apparently the concert was televised and a lot of people saw it. The song they played was asked by a lot of radio stations to be on the radio and James did all the talking so in a week it would be on the radio. It was all too much and in that one week he hadn't had time to call Manny. It was already December. He then went in his apartment which he shared with Ellie, Marco ,and Jimmy. Jimmy was in the front signing autograph, Ellie and Marco went to go eat at a sushi bar. Craig he thought he'd have the time to himself and maybe to call Manny. He then sat down on his bed and pulled out a picture of Manny. _

_"I miss you.." He whispered as he traced her face. _

_"Already?" He heard a voice. He looked up to see Kate. _

_"Sorry," Craig said putting the picture away." Didn't see you." _

_Kate then sat down next to him. _

_"You have this vibe..."She began. _

_Craig turned and looked at her confused. _

_"Vibe?" _

_Kate laughed. Well I mean no wonder why every girl seems to be in love with you now. I mean you are hot." Kate smiled at him. _

_Craig chuckled," Thanks I guess." _

_"Well it's tru I mean you are going to be interviewed on radio shows and have gigs starting tomorrow...I mean you have to be prepared this isn't Canada where people don't care if you're famous this Is California, Los Angeles…where who you are...is all you have to live on. But I still don't get why they made me break up with my girlfriend." Kate then gave Craig a dazzling smile. "Because when you're single girls can dream that they are with you you'll have way more girl fans I mean c'mon Craig let's be honest you have to be single or be with a somebody." Kate explained. She then got closer to Craig he could smell her minty breath. _

_"Yeah..," Craig got closer but then pulled away and seemed to be looking for something. "I-uh -I need to make a call to my step-dad if you don't mind. "Craig said as he got his cell phone. For a second Kate looked offended but then put a smile on her face and got up. _

_"Of course...if you need your privacy…I'll be watching t.v." Kate said as she got up and closing the door behind her._

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Manny's stay turned into a month. Of course Emma didn't mind. She wanted her there. Over the course of that month Emma and Manny's friendship got almost as good as it was a long time ago. J.T. began to slowly fall for Manny. Roxy and Manny's friendship got better as well even though they had to hide it from Emma. They made a lot of money dealing with Hustler. Although it was drugs they handled everything in a very professional manner. They avoided drama that way. It was Christmas eve and the field trip was approaching.

**EMMA'S HOUSE**

"You will be leaving in like a week Manny. Aren't you excited?" Emma said to Manny sitting at the Kitchen table.

"I know I cant wait." Manny said while sitting on the counter.

Manny's cell phone started vibrating on the kitchen table.

"What does it say?" Manny asked Emma as she ate her apple.

"Craig." Emma answered.

Manny almost broke her ankle jumping off the counter to get to the phone. She took the call in the other room.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Craig took a deep breath for some reason he felt so guilty that he almost kissed Kate that one time he needed to call Manny. He got his cell phone and called her. _

_'Please answer baby' Craig thought. _

_"Hello?" He heard an angelic voice say. _

_"Manny? Babe it's me Craig!" Craig said over excited. _

_"OH my god Craig how are you? Are you okay? how is everyone? Are you guys famous? Who have you met?" Manny flooded him with questions. _

_Craig chuckled it was wonderful to hear Manny's voice again. He felt at ease. _

_"I'm fine." Craig said as he sighed." Everyone is fine and no Manny I'm to famous but we are going to have lots of gigs and our songs might be on the radio." Craig said. _

_"Really oh my God Craig I am soo happy for you!" Manny said. _

_Craig then said suddenly, "I love you Manny I hope you know that. You are the one I love the best...I can't live without you." _

_"Craig I feel the same.. I miss you soo much. I mean I know it's only been a month but it feels like a year you not being here. I mean I love you soo much. "Manny said heartily. _

_"You're so beautiful I can't wait until you come to L.A.I swear I have the biggest suprise ever. To prove how much I love you. Manny I just know you are the girl for me. "Craig said. _

_Manny then felt her heart and smiled. "Craig...I don't know what to say..."Manny began. She couldn't believe that she doubted Craig had forgotten her. _

_"You don't need to say anything just I need to hear that you love me." Craig said as he looked at a picture of him and Manny. _

_"Craig of course I love you." Manny said with sincerity. _

_"So how's Angie?" Craig asked. _

_"Oh um well I dunno I am at Emma's hope you do not mind but it was sort of awkward.." Manny explained. _

_"Yeah I do, well that's good glad you are comfortable, my love." Craig said sweetly. _

_"My love?" Manny chuckled. But she liked when he called her that. _

_"What? You are my Love..."Craig added. _

_"Glad to hear it sweetie." Manny said. _

_Kate then opened the door." Craig get off we have to go!" _

_"Who was that?" Manny asked curious since she heard a girl's voice. _

_"Oh that's Kate, agent, well I have to go my love stay safe and I love you forever and always" Craig said. _

_"Me too love you bye sweetie call me when you can!" Manny said desperately. _

_"I will don't worry I love you too." Craig said as he hung up. He then got up and went with Kate. She led him where Jimmy, Marco, and Ellie were, _

_"Prepared to be awake for the next 72 hours because the next 72 hours are going to be crazy." Kate said as she held out her keys. She then went to the fridge and got some beers. _

_"Sorry I didn't offer cheers." Kate said holding up her bottle. Ellie looked like she couldn't decide to drink it or not. Marco was smiling but you could tell he was thinking what Ellie was thinking. Jimmy on the other hand was already drinking. Craig then raised his bottle and started drinking he then looked and saw Kate was smiling at him._

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Manny walked back into the kitchen with a huge smile on her face.

"You look happy." Emma said as she was making herself a sandwich.

"I love the sound of Craig's voice. It's like sweet music." Manny said smiling.

"Oh my God I think I'm gonna throw up." Emma said while making a gag face.

"Whateverz."

"Em what time is it?" Manny asked.

"Like 5:15, why?" Emma asked curiously. Lately she had the feeling that Manny was up to something.

"Just wondering…I'll see you later o.k." Manny said as she went towards the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Bye." Manny said ignoring her question.

Manny left because she needed to be at Roxy's at 5:30 to meet Hustler.

**RINGGGGGGGG RINGGGGGG**

"Hello" Manny answered her cell phone.

"Hey, where you at." It was Roxy.

"I'm almost there. Stay near the door."

"Alright then. See ya in a few."

"Bye." Manny concluded.

**ROXY'S HOUSE**

"Evening gorgeous." Roxy said as she opened the door for Manny. They did the whole kiss on the cheek thing.

"You talk to Hustler ?" Manny asked as she stepped inside taking off her jacket.

"Yea he called and said he was on his way like 10 minutes ago."

"Koo. Where is everything?"

"In the living room."

They headed in there.

"Roxy can you believe that we will be in California soon?" Manny asked her friend as she sat on the couch about to light her cigarette. She rolled up her sleeves a little to get the drugs together while her lit cigarette rested on her lips.

"No not at all. At first it seemed like forever away. But now its like almost here." Roxy said sitting next to her. "We have sooo much money saved."

"I know. How much is it now?" Manny asked. They kept the money at Roxy's house.

"2,000 dollars." Roxy squealed. "It will be even more when Hustler gets here."

Hustler didn't take long to get there. He was there within the next 5 minutes.

"Hey Hustler." Roxy said as Hustler walked in.

"Ladies." He responded. He sat down next to Manny and watched her weigh his drugs on the scale. "I must admit, you guys have become quite the business women."

"Yea, well what can I say?" Manny said in a playful yet arrogant tone. "Here you go, 6 ounces."

"Thank you." Hustler said as he pulled out his wallet and gave Manny 5 one hundred dollar bills.

"And thank you." Manny responded.

"It's so quiet in here. Roxy put some music on or something." Manny told Roxy. Roxy wasn't paying her any attention because she was in the kitchen talking on the phone. Manny sighed as she got up to get the cd player remote. She turned it on and let the cd that was already in there play. As she was walking back to sit on the couch Hustler stood up in front of her and blocked her path. He grabbed her by her waist and pulled her really close to him. He began trying to get her to dance in a playful way.

"Excuse me." Manny said.

"C'mon be nice." He said to her.

"No." Manny said as she laughed a little. "You be nice."

She pushed him back and he sat on the couch. "Oh Manny Manny Manny." He said as he put his hand to his heart like she had broken it or something. Manny playfully threw a pillow at him and headed towards the door.

"Roxy I'm out of here." Manny said as she put on her jacket.

"Hold on a sec." Roxy said into the phone in the kitchen. "You leavin?"

"Yea I gotta go to J.T.'s."

"Alright then." Roxy replied.

Manny turned to blow Hustler a kiss and then left. She headed to J.T.'s. His house was a reasonable walk. She was there in no time.

"J.T. hey." Manny said walking up J.T.'s driveway. He was outside letting his dog pee.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" J.T. asked very happy to see her.

"Well I was sort of in the area and I have the money to pay you back so I thought I would stop by." Manny said leaning down to pet the dog.

"Well it's freezing, come inside." J.T. said opening the door for her, letting her go in first.

"Do you want any hot chocolate or tea or anything? " J.T. offered as he closed the door.

"No thank you."

"I'm so happy to be on Christmas break." J.T. said walking towards the kitchen. Manny followed. Neither one of them sat in a chair, they leaned against the counter on opposites sides of the room.

"I know. School was kicking my ass there for a little while." Manny expressed.

"I know what that's like." J.T. responded.

"Oh here's your money." Manny said reaching into her pocket.

"Manny you don't have to pay me back." J.T. tried to tell her.

"No. I want to." Manny said as she handed him the money. When she did her hand touched his. J.T.'s heart would beat from the smallest touch from her.

"Thank you."

"No, thank you." Manny smiled.

"Are you coming to Emma's house for Christmas tomorrow?"

" I had planned on it-" J.T. began but he stopped because there was a knock at the door.

"Oh God." J.T. said in an annoyed tone. "Its' Liberty."

He said it like that because he knew that Liberty would be pissed. Manny just kind of stood there not knowing what to say.

"Do you umm want me to hide or something?" Manny asked trying to be helpful.

"No. I wouldn't ask you to do that but it would probably be best if you left. Sorry about this Manny." J.T. said sincerely.

"J.T. don't be sorry. I understand. I'm sorry for coming over unannounced."

Liberty knocked again.

"I guess I better get that." J.T. said as he walked over towards the door. Manny followed behind him. When J.T. opened the door Liberty had a smile on her face but it faded immediately the second she saw Manny standing behind J.T.

"Bye." Manny said quickly trying to get away from the awkwardness as soon as possible. Liberty watched Manny the whole time she was walking out. When she was completely out Liberty walked inside.

"Hey Li-" J.T. started.

"What was she doing here?" Liberty asked J.T. pissed beyond belief.

"She stopped by to drop off something. That's all." J.T. said calmly.

"Well"

"Well what?" J.T. responded.

"What did she drop off?" Liberty demanded.

J.T. sighed. He felt no need to lie. "I loaned her the money for California."

"What? Why would you give that bitch money?" Liberty said with tears flooding her eyes.

"Don't talk about her that way. She's my friend."

"And I'm your girlfriend." Liberty said obviously very hurt. The two of them were silent for a minute or so.

"J.T. I cant believe you." Liberty said shaking her head.

"Why are you mad at me? I helped out a friend." J.T. said. He was getting a tad flustered.

"Don't give me that friend crap. Do you think I'm stupid J.T. ? I see the way you look at her."

"Liberty don't make this into something that it's not." J.T said not really knowing how to handle the situation. Liberty held her head down.

"Why her J.T. ? Huh?" Liberty cried. J.T. didn't know what to do or say. He walked closer to her slowly and hugged her. "Why her?" She whispered.

After about 2 minutes Liberty pulled away from J.T. She wiped away some of her tears with her hand.

"She will never love you the way I do." Liberty said right before she walked out. J.T. just leaned his body against the door. His mind was completely blank. He had no idea what had just happened but he knew that him and Liberty were over.

**EMMA'S HOUSE**

"Hey." Manny said as she climbed through Emma's basement window.

"Hey. Where ya been?" Emma said as she sat in bed polishing her nails.

"Nowhere really. Just hung out. I ran into J.T." Manny said as she walked over and sat next to her trying to change the subject.

"Oh is he coming tomorrow?"

"He said he was."

"I use to love Christmas." Manny began. "Now it's sort of depressing."

"Christmas is the best." Emma said smiling form ear to ear.

"Yea for you. I have no family, my boyfriend is off living some fabulous rock star life. This is torture." Manny said throwing her head into a pillow.

Emma screwed the top back onto her nail polish bottle and put her hand on Manny's back. "I'm sure Craig thinks about you constantly. You have always been apart of my family, you know that. Cheer up."

"Yea I guess so." Manny said coming up fixing her hair from when she was on the pillow."

"My mom baked some cookies earlier. They are for tomorrow but I'm sure we could sneak a couple. C'mon" She grabbed Manny's hand and they headed upstairs. Emma has always been able to make Manny feel better when she was down.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_It was exactly like Kate had said it was crazy. So far they had been on four different radio stations and played five gigs. Craig found himself drinking beer and vodka as water and juice. Jimmy the same. Ellie and Marco were also going into the habit but not as bad as Craig and Jimmy were. But the weird thing that was Craig was now separating from the band members and was becoming friends with Kate. Craig admitted to himself he felt like a hypocrite because he was drinking heavily and knew Manny would be upset. He tried to call her but he never had the time. He was either busy or really tired and got his 5 min of sleep. Manny had tried to call him several times but he couldn't call her back and he felt guilty. But now a lot of things were beginning to irritate him. Craig got less sleep than anyone because he was interviewed the most and had to do most of the work. He was becoming a little distant from everyone. One day Ellie went up to him. _

_"Craig..."Ellie began. _

_"WHAT!" Craig snapped. Ellie then looked annoyed and was about to walk away. _

_"No stop, look I'm sorry okay it's just I can't seem to stay awake anymore and we have like a gig in like two hours and Ellie when we got fame I thought everything would be better but it's not...it's complicated I can't even talk to the girl I love." Craig sighed. _

_"Well James is here and-" _

_Craig sighed heavily getting off the floor. _

_"-he wants to talk to the rest of us so go back lying down." Ellie added. _

_Craig looked confused. _

_"I don't know what's going to happen yet...but I will let you know what he tells us." Ellie said walking out of the room. Craig then rubbed his red eyes. He hadn't slept in three days and he actually had time. _

_It was cold now which made Craig even more sleepy. Christmas was in one week and he knew he had to see Manny no matter what the cost was. He got his phone and dialed her phone number when- _

_"Craig!" Kate said as she went up to him. _

_Craig immediately closed his phone and went to her. _

_"Hey Kate." Craig hugged her. She hugged him back. _

_"Well I know you have been tired but are you tired enough to go to dinner with me maybe like now?" Kate asked. _

_Craig smiled. "Of course not…um let's go." He grabbed his coat and they headed off. Kate then began walking towards the alley outside and Craig followed her. _

_"Umm Kate the car is um on the other side of the apartment." Craig said very confused. _

_Kate laughed. "We are not going to dinner come here." Kate said as she pulled him towards her. _

_Craig knew this was too close. He saw her eyes looking at him and for a second he was about to lean in when she smiled and sat him down. _

_She pulled out a bag and smiled. _

_Craig saw the drug offered to him. _

_"It's meth Craig." She said pushing it towards him. _

_"Yeah I know what it is." Craig said looking at her. _

_"Look you're on tour all the time you need to keep awake and this will help you." _

_Craig looked at it and looked at her again. _

_"Here you can snort it or take it straight to the head." She said as she gave him lines. _

_"I dunno I mean my girl-" _

_She gave him and eye, "Ex-girlfriend had a problem with drugs and.." _

_She sighed heavily "Craig are you gonna take it or not?" _

_Craig then looked at her. _

_"Kate I don't know what if I get in trouble or something James-" _

_Kate laughed, "He thought I gave this to you a while ago but this will keep you awake Craig please just take it. "Kate said. She then placed her hand over his. "For me?" _

_Two hours later _

_"Craig are you okay?" Marco asked as he put his bass around him. _

_"Like waaaayy better than okay. Hey um uh Marco um do you think Kate is hot wait why am I askin you.." Craig then turned to Jimmy who was looking at Craig weird. "Jim! So do you think Kate is hot?" _

_"Um dude? Like what about Manny and-" _

_"Jim I know but I mean Kate is like hot too huh? So Ellie you ready? Hope you are because we are going to go on and rock. "Craig said. He then looked around." Um Jim boy when do we go on?" _

_"Um like three minutes why?" Jimmy asked. _

_"Craig are you sure you are okay?" Ellie asked worriedly. _

_"Yeah. Um be right back!" Craig said as he rushed off stage. He ran back stage and saw Kate drinking a bottle of beer. _

_"Kate!" Craig called out. _

_Kate turned to see Craig. "Hey-" _

_Craig then grabbed her and slipped his tongue in her mouth. She moaned a little bit. Just then a photographer passed by _

_FLASH _

_AFTER THE SHOW _

_"Kate do you um have some more?" Craig asked as he ran up to her. _

_She smiled at him. "Yeah I do...you want some more?" _

_Craig nodded. "Please?" He knew that it was bad but the feeling was so great to him. He hadn't felt this awake in weeks. He could do much more things. _

_"Craig we rocked!" Marco came Craig turned. _

_"Um yeah um well I gotta go okay." Craig said as he followed Kate. _

_"Craig !"Ellie called out. _

_"WHAT!" Craig snapped. "Look I don't have time for this…later okay go celebrate." _

_Kate then grinned at Ellie as she took his hand and led him away from his friends. _

_"What was that about?" Jimmy asked somewhat annoyed. _

_"I dunno but it looks like Kate is involved." Marco said. _

_His behavior didn't improve in the next few days. IN fact it got worse. Whenever they tried to talk to him he would go with Kate. _

_"Kate can I have more?" Craig asked. Kate gave him an uneasy smile. _

_"It wasn't a question." Craig said bitterly by the reaction on her face it seemed she took it as a joke. _

_Craig's eyes were always red or with dark circles. Their fame was growing they were the most popular band in California by the end of that week. _

_"Fuck fuck fuck." Craig muttered. _

_"What's wrong?" Ellie asked Craig as she went up to him to offer him some coffee. _

_"I don't want that. How come you didn't tell me!" Craig asked as he looked up at Ellie. _

_"Craig? Your eyes? Are you doing drugs?" Ellie asked shocked she dropped the coffee on the floor. _

_"Smart." Craig laughed as he headed off towards the kitchen. "Kate went to go visit her family for the holidays!" _

_"Well my family is coming to visit me so is Marco's and Jimmy's." Ellie said. _

_"What! How come you didn't tell me?" Craig said as he started pacing back and forth. _

_"We did but you ran off with Kate!" Ellie raised her voice. _

_"But I-I- I need to be alone!" Craig said as he ran into his room. _

_He locked the door and sat on the floor. He admitted that at first it was just to get a little relief but now he couldn't stop. He knew Manny would be so disappointed in him if she found out. He knew she would get mad in fact. But he was too sucked in to this world which he couldn't get out of. He looked up and his cell phone began to ring. He ran and got it. _

_"Hello!" He asked. _

_"Craig it's James you have an interview! Hurry and get your ass down here!" James growled. Craig hung up the phone and sighed as he looked up at the ceiling._

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

"MERRY CHRISTMAS" Joey said as he walked in to the Simpson/Nelson residence with Ang. Spike had a huge Christmas party every year and the house was filled with tons of people. Manny recognized some people seeing how she and her family would attend every year. Manny was obviously solo this year. She really couldn't hang around Emma because she was to busy visiting with family and friends. Everyone was very festive and dressed the part. Manny was wearing a black mini skirt and a black long sleeve sweater with boots. Black seemed to be her color now a days. She looked sexy yet appropriate.

"Mannyyyyy" Angie squealed running up to Manny hugging her. "I miss you."

"Hey Ang. I miss you to honey." Manny said hugging her back. She had not seen her or Joey since Craig left.

"Hey Manny, Ya been doin alright?" Joey said while walking up to Manny.

"Yea." Manny gave a faint smile. "Hear from Craig?"

"Rarely, you?"

"No. It's hard to get in touch with him." She explained.

"Yea…Well it was nice seeing you. Take care." Joey said as he picked up Ang.

"Bye." Manny concluded.

"Bye Manny" Angie's Young voice said with her arms around her daddy's neck.

"Bye."

Manny looked around at all the smiling faces. Everyone seemed to be so happy and full of cheer. She couldn't have felt more alone.

"Excuse me." She said as she walked passed people to get to the kitchen. There was nobody in there but it was still very loud from all the commotion. She took advantage of the opportunity and had a glass of wine while no one was looking. She poured herself another and quickly drank it. She started to crave a cigarette. She once again zigzagged through all the people to get to the door, stopping to put on her jacket which had her phone and cigarettes in it. No one would notice her gone. She stared at the moon on the sidewalk as she placed her cigarette in her mouth and lit it. She loved night time. Exhaling she thought about a few things. Her dad, Craig, California, leaving high school. She then saw J.T. walking up.

"Merry Christmas." J.T. said walking up to her. He was wearing khaki pants and a black shirt with a black jacket over it. It was simple but the subtleness made him look much older and mature. His hair was also a little wavier than usual.

"Hi." Manny said throwing down her cigarette to put it out. _Damn, he looks good, _Manny thought to herself. But it wasn't a big deal.

"What are you doing out here?" J.T. asked her.

"I needed to smoke a cigarette…plus there was wayyy to much holiday bliss in there." She said sarcastically.

"Do you want to take a walk to the park or something?"

"Sure." Manny answered.

The two of them headed towards the park.

"Was everything o.k. after I left yesterday?" Manny asked him hesitantly. She didn't know if she should have asked or not.

"We broke up." J.T. said not sounding very heart broken.

"Oh I'm umm sorry." Manny said sincerely.

"Nah, the thrill was gone anyway. Ya know."

Silence came between them. They reached the park and had a seat on the bench.

"What did you and your family do?" Manny asked trying to break the silence.

"My family left to go out of town this morning. They'll be gone for a day or two."

"So your alone for Christmas to huh?" Manny said with a sarcastic laugh that followed.

"It's o.k. they probably would have wanted to do something corny anyway."

It fell silent yet again.

"Oh, before I forget…here." J.T. said with a smile on his face. He pulled a small box with a bow on it out of his jacket pocket.

"What is it?" Manny said curiously.

"Open it." J.T. said with a smile on his face.

Manny opened the box. There was a small necklace inside. It had the letter M on it with rhinestones. Manny's face lit up. She loved it.

"J.T. it's beautiful. Thank you." Manny put her hand on his shoulder to pull herself closer and kissed his lips. She quickly pulled away. Looking down she thought to herself _Oh my God. What just happened? _Those thoughts were dismissed quickly as J.T. lifted her chin to look into her eyes. He gave her a quick smile and moved in for another, this time putting his tongue between her lips hoping she would open her mouth. She did.

**MANNY'S POV**

_J.T.'s kisses are so sweet. I've completely forgotten what it was like kissing him _I thought. We pulled away from each other. I felt as if I was a twelve year old being kissed for the first time. It was nice but awkward. We were looking in opposite directions. J.T. looked at me and I could feel it so I turned his direction. We smiled at one another. J.T. stood up and grabbed my hand while I was still sitting down.

"We should get back to Emma's" He said.

I stood up and kissed him once more. I didn't know where I was going with this but I felt confident in my decision.

"Why," I looked down to think about what I was going to say next one last time. "Why don't we go to your house instead?"

**J.T.'S POV**

"A-Are you sure?" I asked. _I couldn't believe this. I mean, I never in a million years thought this would happen _I thought to myself, _Manny is such an amazing girl._

"Yea." She said. I smiled at her and she smiled back. She had a beautiful smile. I could look at her smile for days. We began to walk to my house.

**MANNY'S POV**

We didn't say anything the whole way to J.T.'s house. Not because we had nothing to say or anything, it was like we both were overwhelmed with emotions and feelings that we didn't even know were there. He seemed so different. I wish I had known this J.T. before. He let go of my hand to open the door. When we walked in all the lights were off.

"Uh Oh. Stay here o.k." He said with a laugh.

"O.K." I smiled. He went to turn some lights on.

"That's better." he paused "C'mon."

We went down the hallway into his bedroom. It had changed since the last time I was in there. There weren't as many posters up. He closed the door behind us. I was a little nervous for some unknown reason. I think he was to. After taking off my jacket I kinda leaned/sat against his desk with my arms supporting me. J.T. walked over to me and put his hands around my waist and began to kiss my cheek eventually moving down to my neck. While he was doing that I unzipped his pants. They fell down. His hands moved down my thighs and up underneath my skirt. His hands were warm. He pulled my panties down to my feet. I lifted my right foot then the left so he could get them completely off. He stepped out of his pants as well. He also pulled down my skirt and took off my shoes. As he came back up he ran his hands up my legs. He took off my sweater and I began to unbutton his. Taking off my bra was a little difficult but he succeeded.

"Manny this seriously is a dream come true" J.T. said. I smiled and started kissing him. He led me to his bed where he laid me down. He stopped for a second so I sat up to see what he was doing. He went into his night stand and got a condom.

"Don't wanna forget this." He said with a giggle.

"Yea I know." I replied.

After he put it on he climbed on top of me. J.T. had the sweetest face. I could see through to heaven in his eyes. He entered me and I gasped. It had been awhile for me. I had not had sex since Craig left.

"You o.k. ?" he asked concerned.

"I'm fine." I answered.

He began to do slow deep thrust. It felt really good. I liked it a lot. "J.T." I whispered his name. He kept going. "Don't stop." I told him. J.T. was a lot better than I had ever thought he would be. His hands traveled my whole body. I ran my fingers through his soft hair. I pulled him down and he started kissing me. I tilted my head back interrupting the kissing because it started to feel better and better by the second.

J.T.'s breathing became heavier. I could tell he was about to come. His thrusting got a little faster. He came with one final thrust. He smiled as he looked at me and I moved the hair out of his eyes. He then kissed me and laid down while still on top of me. I stroked his back with my hand. I didn't even know that I was tired, but suddenly both of us fell asleep. The sound of my cell phone making a beep woke me up. I was laying on top of J.T.'s chest. I looked up at his face and he looked so peaceful while he was sleeping. I reached over him to see why my phone was beeping. I had 3 missed calls and 2 text messages. I accidentally woke him up. I couldn't believe the time. My phone read 3:32 am.

J.T. stretched then smiled at me. "What's going on?" He asked sweetly.

"I had some messages on my phone. I was checking them."

"Who from?"

"The warden." I said.

"Who?" He asked curiously. He had no idea what I was talking about.

"Oh." I said with a smirk "Emma. I sometimes call her the warden because she's always checking up on me." I explained.

"Funny."

I began to sit up.

"Where ya going?" J.T. asked kind of sad.

"Oh I have to go." I sat all the way up. He pulled me back down to him.

"Don't go. Stay. Please." He said sincerely. I felt kinda bad for leaving but I had to go. I knew Emma was gonna kill me.

"I have to, Emma covered for me so I have to get back." I explained.

"O.k. O.k. O.k." J.T. pouted.

I went over to his desk to find my clothes. They were in a cute little pile. J.T. had become so tidy. J.T watched me get dressed the whole time.

"Don't look." I playfully said.

"I can't help it, I'm hypnotized." He said sitting up resting his head on his fist. When I was completely dressed he got up and he looked like he was going to get dressed to.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm gonna walk you home." He answered. J.T. is such a gentleman.

"No stay in bed, I'll be fine." I reassured him.

"Are you sure?" He offered once again.

"I insist."

"O.K. well at least let me walk you to the door." He said as if he was asking for my approval.

"O.k." I replied. He held my hand all the way down the hallway. When we got to the door we stopped.

"Manny I just want to thank you. I will never forget this Christmas for as long as I live." He said with a grin.

"It will be locked away in my memory as well."

He put both of his hands on my face and kissed me. No tongue or anything just a soft sweet kiss on my forehead.

"Goodnight J.T." I told him.

"Goodnight."

As I walked down the sidewalk. I didn't know how to feel or think. When I got about halfway down I stopped in the middle of my tracks. You would have thought that I had seen a ghost or something. I felt like I was choking but there was nothing in my mouth. _Oh My God. I just cheated on Craig _I thought to myself. "What the fuck was I thinking?" I asked myself. _That was so stupid. Why am I just thinking about Craig now? I mean, did I forget about him. Maybe it was the fact that it was Christmas and Christmas is such a romantic holiday. I cant make excuses, there are no excuses for what I just did. What I'm I gonna do? If I tell him he will get rid of me for sure. Why am I such a fuck up? I cant tell him. I don't want to fuck up such a good thing. _I pulled out a cigarette and finished walking back to Emma's. I walked pretty fast because I wanted to hurry. I was hoping that Emma was already asleep. When I got there I peeked into her window to see. All the lights were off. I quietly climbed through being really careful so I wouldn't wake her up. When I got in I took off my boots and skirt. I slipped on a pair of shorts. I tiptoed quietly over to Emma's bed and gently pulled the covers back. I sat down as soft as I could and laid down. Wow I actually pulled it off. I thought I was successful when-

"Where were you?" Emma scolded. She sat up and turned her lamp on and then looked at me. _Damn _I thought.

"I'm tired Em. Lets talk about it tomorrow, k." I tried hoping she would accept that. Of course she didn't.

"Manny I'm waiting for an explanation." She said. I sighed and sat up to.

"O.k. Em if I tell you, you have to promise that it wont leave this room, that you wont get mad, and that there will be no more discussion after and we will just go to sleep." I said looking and acting as if I meant it.

"O.k. I promise."

"O.k., I…slept with J.T." I said nervously. Emma gasped and put her hand over her mouth. She was about to say something. I quickly put my finger over her mouth.

"Ah, no more discussion, go to sleep." I told her. She sat there for a second then reached over to turn off her lamp. She looked at me once more than we both laid down. _I still cant believe I was so stupid. I love Craig how could I do this? I'm just gonna try my best to pretend that none of this ever happened. _I thought to myself. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.

**NORMAL POV**

For several days Manny tried to act as if it never happened even though she thought about it constantly. She would just try to think about her audition instead. Emma tried to forget that Manny had ever told her but of course, Emma never forgets anything. When she wasn't thinking about that she just thought about how she was pregnant. Manny, as mean as this was, avoided J.T. like the plague. She wasn't trying to be rude she just didn't want to make matters worse. He had called her a few times and she didn't answer. _I will be in California in 2 days and I wont have to worry about any of this when I see Craig , _she thought to herself. They were scheduled to leave Jan.2 and it was New Years eve. She had planned to hang out with Roxy for New Years.

**RINGGGGG RINGGGGG**. Manny's cell phone went off. It read Roxy. She was in the living room with Spike and Emma. They were all watching a movie. She got up and took the call in the kitchen.

"Hello." She answered.

"Hey, weren't you suppose to be here forever ago?" Roxy asked slightly annoyed.

"Yea I'll be on my way as soon as I think of an excuse to get out of here."

"Why are you so scared of that Emma chick. Just be like fuck you and goodbye." Roxy giggled.

Manny laughed "I cant do that."

"So when are you coming?" Roxy asked.

"I'm about to try and leave now."

"Alright, lataz." Roxy said.

"Bye." Manny concluded.

Manny tried her best to think of a decent excuse. Her mind drew a blank. She was just gonna do what she always did. She went downstairs to change first. She wanted something hot to wear. She decided on a white mid drift spaghetti strap tank and a white mini skirt to match of course. She wore her boots with it. She grabbed her jacket and made sure she had everything she needed which was money, phone, and cigiz. As she headed up the stairs she knew she wouldn't be able to just sneak out without them noticing.

"Manny c'mon." Emma said. She wanted Manny to come back to the movie.

"Umm Em I gotta go don't wait up, k. love you bye." Manny said quickly running out the front door.

"Wait-" Emma beagn but she was cut off by the door closing. Manny hated rushing out of there like that but she hated always being interrogated about what she was doing. She headed to Roxy's. She was in a hurry to get there so she took the short way. It took like 10 minutes off the time. On her way she passed by her house. She saw her moms car so she knew she was there. For the first time she didn't feel that sad. She didn't care about her mom as much as she use to. She walked right passed it as if she had never lived there. She was at Roxy's soon after that. She knocked on the door.

"Hello Manny." Roxy's dad opened the door.

"Hey Mr. Sanchez." Manny responded. Due to Manny's coming over all the time Roxy's parents eventually met her. They were nice, they actually liked Manny. They were clueless about Roxy's wild side. He moved from the door way so Manny could come in.

"What do you 2 have planned for the night?" He asked as he shut the door.

"I dunno yet." She told him. Even though he was nice he always made Manny feel a little nervous. Roxy then came from her room. _Thank God _Manny thought, she was beginning to feel a bit anxious.

"I'm gonna stay with Manny tonight. Bye." Roxy told her father as she went passed him.

"You girls be careful." Roxy's mother yelled form the sofa in the living room.

"K." Roxy yelled back. The two girls walked out and headed down the street.

"Lookin good." Roxy told Manny looking at her outfit.

"You to sexy." Manny noticed. Roxy was wearing these super tight black pants with a button down white shirt that was like a thousand sizes to small with stiletto boots. She had the first 4 buttons unbuttoned.

"C'mon we have to hurry. We were suppose to meet Hustler like 20 minutes ago. He's waiting for us at the corner." Roxy urged. They started to walk a little faster. When they got around the corner they saw Hustlers car. He was inside smoking a blunt.

"Sorry about the lateness, but somebody took forever." Roxy said as she looked back at Manny. Roxy got in the front seat and Manny in the back.

"Just hurry up." He said slightly annoyed.

"Whateverz." Manny laughed it off. When Roxy was completely in she kissed Hustler. Manny saw.

"Ohhhh. O.k." Manny said with a sneaky type laugh.

Hustler looked back at her and sighed "High school girls." Roxy then crawled in the back seat with Manny.

"What's going on with you two?" Manny whispered to Roxy just dying to know.

"Well remember the other day when you and him were at my house?" Roxy began "Well when you left he fucked the shit out of me."

"Really, was it good?" Manny asked.

"Was it?" Roxy threw her head back "I'm still trying to get over how good it was."

The girls started laughing.

"So like are you guys like together?" Manny asked. Manny felt a little sad about that because she felt like she could possibly like lose her best friend. But she couldn't let Roxy know.

"I think so." Roxy smiled looking at Hustler. Roxy crawled back into the front seat and started talking to Hustler. Manny just turned and looked out the window as he was driving. They were headed to Hustlers apartment. When they were like a minute away Roxy glanced back at Manny. She looked a little down.

"What's wrong?" Roxy asked her friend in a soothing voice.

"Nothing." Manny gave her a fake smile. Roxy smiled at her and turned back around to get something. She then looked back at Manny.

"Here." Roxy shoved a double stacked E pill in Manny's Mouth. "This should make you feel all better." Roxy gave Hustler his and then took hers. She looked at Manny and blew her a kiss. _Hey, Roxy's cool. She's such a good friend. We'll still be friends even though she has a boyfriend now I'm sure, _Manny thought to herself. They arrived at Hustler's shortly after. There were a lot of cars there. But that wasn't unusual, Hutsler was always having a party. Of course he was having one tonight it being New Years. After Hustler parked his car they all got out and headed inside. Manny was behind Roxy and Hustler as they held hands. _They actually make a cute couple _she thought. When Hustler opened the door there were tons of people there. It was very smoky. Things were pretty wild. People were all over each other. The music was hella loud. Manny needed a good party. Manny saw a lot of people she knew from when she hung out with Marissa. Some she spoke to, some she avoided. The ecstasy started kicking in just as expected. Manny got hot so she took off her jacket revealing her sexy outfit. She was dancing with Roxy. They were both high as hell, which meant they were very expressive.

"Roxy Im so happy for you and Hustler." Manny yelled over the music.

"Oh thanks." She yelled back.

"Ya know when you first told me-" Roxy interrupted her.

"What?" Roxy yelled putting her hand up to her ear.

"When you first told me I was getting a little sad because I figured that you would forget about me after awhile."

"Manny never… how could I forget about my best friend." She smiled.

"I'm your best friend?" Manny asked her. Roxy nodded.

"You're mine to." Manny told her. The two girls hugged each other. Manny really felt like she had a true friend.

"C'mon lets go get some crystal from Hustler." Roxy said to Manny. Roxy took Manny's hand and they began to push there way through all the people to find Hustler. He was sitting on the sofa talking to some guy. Roxy sat on his lap and reached inside his pockets. She gave him a quick peck before getting up.

"Don't do it all." He sounded like he meant it but Roxy didn't care.

"I wont." Roxy laughed him off. Her and Manny went into one of the bedrooms. Surprisingly no one was in there. They sat on the bed and Roxy pulled a meth pipe out of her boobs.

"Where did that come from?" Manny laughed. She was laughing uncontrollably.

"Well ya know Manny I don't know, it's like it magically appeared out of nowhere." Roxy smiled. Roxy filled the pipe with as much as she could. Manny always had a lighter.

"Do the honors my love." Roxy said handing Manny the pipe.

"O.k."

Manny took huge puffs from the pipe and then handed it to Roxy. She held it in for quite awhile before she exhaled. They smoked that and then refilled the pipe for seconds. They were reaching new highs. The high from the meth mixed with the high from the E was insane.

"Roxy," Manny took a long pause and looked at Roxy "I am so high."

"Me to, girl. Oh my God, Like whoa." Roxy replied. "We should go back out now."

They got up and started walking to the door. Manny tripped and fell over absolutely nothing. Roxy looked back and was like "Clumsy ass." Manny got up and followed Roxy back to the party.

"Im gonna go talk to Hustler, you gonna be alright?" Roxy said not wanting to abandon her friend.

"Oh, go ahead." Manny reassured her. Roxy headed over and sat next to Hustler.Manny just kind of stood there. She was slightly confused. She looked around and decided that she wanted to dance some more since she had so much energy. She went over and managed to get herself on top of the table. She started freak dancing which got everyone's attention. She was high and didn't really care about how skanky she was appearing. Hustler and Roxy noticed her dancing to. Manny really started getting into it. She took off her tank top. She was just in her bra and skirt by then. All the guys started cheering telling her to take more off. She stumbled a bit. "Whoaaa." Manny laughed. She looked over to Roxy and Hustler's direction. Roxy's back was to Hustler. He made eye contact with Manny. Hustler did the whole chin nod and winked at Manny. Roxy didn't see him do it. Manny didn't quite know how to take that so she kept on dancing.

"Take off your skirt." Some random guy yelled. Roxy and Hustler heard him.

"Let me go and get this girl." Hustler laughed.

"Please." Roxy said getting out of his way so he could walk by. Manny looked and smiled at the guy that told her to take off her skirt and unbuttoned it and was about to go down with it but Hustler got to her before she could. He pulled her down and she fell into his arms.

"Why'd you stop me?" Manny smiled at him. "I needed to." Hustler told her. He gathered her clothes and took her in the bathroom. Roxy continued talking with friends as Hustler and Manny went to the bathroom. When the both of them were in he closed the door.

"You didn't have to come rescue me you know. I knew what I was doing." Manny said as she looked in the mirror and fixed her hair a bit.

"I'm sure you did." Hustler said sarcastically leaning against the door watching Manny with her clothes in his hand. She noticed him looking. She hissed and looked at him.

"Well you gonna give me my clothes back?" She asked.

"Come get em." He said holding them up so she couldn't reach them.

"Fine, keep them. I'll go out without them." She spoke with a sassy tone. She attempted to walk out. When she went for the door knob he pushed himself against her. She fell back on the sink. He put his hands around her waist.

"Quit playin Hustler." Manny said annoyed. Hustler wasn't listening to her at all. He kissed her and Manny pushed him off.

"What are you doing." Manny said obviously mad.

"C'mon there's nothing wrong with a little kiss amongst friends." He said as if everything was o.k. He tried to kiss her again.

"Your girlfriend is my best friend." Manny expressed to him while pushing him yet again.

"She wouldn't mind."

"Uh I think she would." Manny said barely able to stand.

"Whatever." Hustler put her clothes on the sink. "You should stop being such a tease." He walked out and closed the door. She sat down on the bathroom floor. _I can't wait until I get to California . Things are gonna be so much better, _She thought to herself. She rested her head against the wall and sat there for awhile. Several people came in to use the bathroom but everyone was high so they weren't bothered by the girl sitting half naked on the floor and of course Manny didn't mind people going to the bathroom in front of her she was so out of it.

"There you are, I was wondering where you were." Roxy said as she barged in the bathroom. Manny was just sitting there looking all happy.

"First put your clothes on." Roxy laughed as she helped her friend put her shirt back on. She then helped Manny up to her feet.

"C'mon you gotta try this." Roxy dragged Manny out to the living room by her arm. Manny was like a little rag doll. In the living room everybody was taking turns snorting something. It looked to be coke or crystal. "What is that?" Manny asked.

"You've heard of special K right?"

"Yea."

"Well it's the shit Manny. You're gonna love it." Roxy explained.

"How do I do it?" Manny asked as she kneeled down to the floor. Roxy sat next to her. She put a little on a plate and crushed it up really fine with a razor. She gave Manny the plate and a short straw.

"Just snort it." Roxy told Manny. Manny took the plate and did just that.

"Ugh. Ow." Manny complained. Roxy laughed.

"Yea, it does hurt a little but it's a good kinda hurt. Like it feels good right." Roxy said rubbing Manny's head.

"I guess." Manny replied.

Not long after Manny started to feel affects. Roxy was right, she did love it.Manny and Roxy laughed and laughed. They were laughing literally hours. 8 hours had passed by and they didn't even realize it. It had only felt like 5 minutes to them. People started leaving and the crowd shrunk tremendously. Down to about 6 people. They were still high but they began to sober up a little.

"I'm so thirsty." Manny griped.

"Me to lets go get some water or something." Roxy responded. They got up and went into the kitchen while Hustler and his friends stayed in the living room.

"Wow Manny you look like shit." Roxy playfully said as she got some glasses down form the cabinet.

"Oh thanks, so do you." Manny sarcastically replied. Roxy was staring at Hustler in a romantic sort of way.

"God Hustler is like the perfect guy for me, I'm so lucky." Roxy smiled while walking over to the sink. Manny rolled her eyes and Roxy noticed.

"What was that for?" Roxy asked stopping what she was doing.

"Nothing." Manny didn't want to say anything.

"No, tell me." Roxy demanded.

Manny started to speak in a low tone of voice "Earlier in the bathroom, Hustler…he kissed me."

Roxy was speechless.

"What." Roxy spoke as if she was out of breath. Manny walked over really close to her.

"Don't o.k." Roxy said a little pissed. She put the glasses down and walked over to Hustler. Manny stayed in the kitchen but she could still see.

"Hustler I need to talk to you." Roxy said with her arms crossed. Hustler was sitting smoking a cigarette and kind of waved her off because his friends were watching and he didn't want to come off whipped to them.

"Hustler" Roxy demanded.

"Go handle ya business." One of the guys said laughing patting Hustler on the back. He got up and the two of them went in the kitchen. Manny's heart started beating so fast. _This cant be good, _She thought to herself.

"What's up?" Hustler said when they were finally in the kitchen.

"Did you kiss her?" Roxy said a little teary eyed. She was looking directly at him. Manny didn't know what to do. She just stood there.

"Yo, straight up, she kissed me." Hustler said leaning against the counter and taking a puff of his cigarette.

Manny's eyes grew huge. "What?" Manny said in shock.

"Fuc-kin bitch." Roxy said turning to Manny.

"Roxy."

"You were suppose to be my girl."

" I am. He's lying." Manny pleaded her eyes now watering up, "Roxy please believe me I'm telling the truth."

Roxy stood looking at Manny. She got even more teary eyed.

"Marissa was right about you. You're nothing but a whore." Roxy said in the coldest way, "Forget California."

Manny looked down and a single tear drop fell.

"Ohhhhhh, burn." All the guys expressed, including Hustler. They were responding to the girls confrontation. Hustler reached around Roxy's hip and pulled her to him. Roxy was expressionless. Deep down she knew Manny was telling the truth she just didn't want to admit it to herself. Manny dried her eyes and walked back into the living room. She looked around for her jacket.

"You should've kissed me instead." One of the guy said while laughing.

Manny didn't pay him any attention. She put her jacket on and walked towards the door, looking back once more at Roxy before she opened it. Roxy saw her look but then turned away. Manny turned back around and walked out. It was morning time. She began walking down the side walk. She reached in her jacket to get a cigarette, lit it and began smoking.

"Happy fucking New year." She said sniffling a little. _I cant believe this shit, _She thought to herself. She started crying a little more. The morning sun was burning her eyes a little. Nobody was outside. You could hear the birds chirping. She tried enjoying the sounds of nature on the way back to Emma's but she kept thinking about how all her plans just went to shit. When she did get to Emma's she assumed that everyone was sleeping. She started to crawl through the basement window like she has so many times before. Emma was not asleep. She was sitting in her computer chair waiting for Manny.

"Where have you been?" Emma said as she stood up to look at Manny as she finished crawling in. Manny walked over to the clothes pile and began to undress. She didn't say anything.

"Manny I'm so tired of covering for you every time you decide to go out and get drunk or whatever it is that you go out and do. Manny…Manny. Manny do you hear me?" Emma said walking over closer to her. When Manny was done putting on her night clothes she looked up at Emma. Emma's expression changed.

"Not now Em, o.k." Manny said to her sounding as if she had been crying before. Manny went over and got in the bed.

Emma didn't know what to think. She began to worry about her friend.

"I'm gonna go take a shower, you need anything?" Emma asked concerned but Manny didn't answer. Emma looked at her for a second and headed to the bathroom. Manny cried from frustration and surprisingly was actually able to fall asleep. She woke up around 3:30 that afternoon. Emma was reading a book on a beanbag chair.

"Hey sleepy head." Emma said noticing her wake up. She got up and walked over to the bed.

"What time is it?" She yawned sitting up.

"3:30." Emma happily answered. She was in an unusually happy mood. "C'mon, get up." Emma kind of made her stand up.

"Why are you so happy?" Manny asked confused.

"You're going to California tomorrow Manny." Emma said shaking her playfully "Put some pep in that step."

Manny smiled and began to get dressed. She was ready in like 30 minutes. They went to The Dot.

"I bet you're so excited." Emma said as she sipped her shake.

"Yea I am." Manny replied eating some fries.

"Does Craig know that you're coming?"

"I don't know to tell you the truth. I'm just gonna have to call him when I get there." Manny explained.

"What time do you have to meet the school?" Emma asked.

"8:00 a.m."

"Have you packed?"

"Oh my Gosh no." The two girls laughed.

"Well umm we should go don't ya think." Emma said standing up to throw their stuff away. "Shall we?"

They finished up there and headed back to Emma's house and began to try and get Manny packed.

"What all are you taking?" Emma asked sorting through her closet and shelves.

"Everything." Manny said while cleaning out her back pack.

"Why you're only gonna be gone for a week."

"Oh umm, you know me…indecisive." Manny laughed off hoping that Emma would drop it. They kept looking through things.

"Oh my God, look." Emma said pulling out a photo album that was deep in the back of her closet " Look at this."

They went and sat on the bed next to each other. The first thing they saw was a pic of them in 2nd grade eating cookies.

"Look at how tall you were." Manny laughed.

"Look at how frizzy you hair was." Emma replied laughing as well. The book was filled with tons of pictures displaying how close and good a friends they were seeing how they have known each other practically their whole lives. They started thinking about memories of the good old days. Way before boys and pregnancies. Back when the biggest dilemma was who's house to stay over. They did that and talked for hours. The conversation moved away from memories to other topics.

"Em it really sucks that you're not going." Manny said to her friend.

"Yea but you can just tell me all about it when you come back."

Manny didn't say anything back she just kind of looked off in the other direction.

"Girlsss, c.mon it's 6:00. We got get a move on if we want to make it there on time." Snake yelled from upstairs.

"What 6:00, already." Manny said. She couldn't believe it.

"Looks like we talked the night away." Emma said standing up looking out the window.

"Umm yea." Manny said.

"You can go get ready, I'll finish packing your stuff." Emma told her.

"Thanks Em. Manny smiled.

Manny went and picked something out to wear quickly before Emma got to into packing. She wanted to be comfortable so she decided on a little tight pink sweat outfit and headed for the shower. Emma was done packing in no time. She just through all of her stuff into a bag. Manny didn't take long either. She just through her hair in a ponytail and Emma stayed in what she had on. They got Manny's stuff and headed upstairs. Snake was ready.

"Here Manny, take plenty of pictures." Spike said handing her a camera while holding baby Jack.

"You got it." Manny said as she hugged Spike and kissed baby Jack on the head.

"Bye hon, be careful out there."

"I will. Bye."

With that said Manny, Emma, and Snake were on their way 2 the airport. The traffic was pretty bad so it's a good thing they left early. They got there in about 45 minutes. When they walked into the airport they immediately saw Ms. H and other Degrassi students including J.T. They walked over to the crowd.

"There's J.T." Emma said nudging Manny in the side as they approached everybody.

"Good morning Manny, here's your ticket." Ms. H said walking towards Manny and handing it to her. Manny took it. J.T. started walking over to Emma and Manny. _Oh my God think, think _Manny thought to herself.

"Manny give me your bags I'm going to take them to the check out desk so you wont have to carry them." Snake said reaching for her bags.

"I'll come with you." Manny said hastily. She needed a reason to walk away. Snake gave a her a strange look.

"I want to write my name on the sticker and everything." She explained. Her and Snake headed over to the baggage check place. J.T. got to Emma and they started chatting. Manny looked back at them once but they didn't notice. After Manny's baggage was taken her and Snake walked back over to the group.

"Guys we need to be heading towards the terminal." Ms. H said loudly for everyone to hear.

"See ya later Emma." J.T. said before he went back towards the class.

"See ya."

**MANNY POV**

This was it. This was actually it. I was leaving and never coming back. Hopefully my life will be better now. For some reason I don't really feel prepared to embark on the journey I'm about to take. This was so surreal.

"Have a great time honey. I'm sure you're going to love it there." Snake said as he hugged me. "Be careful we love you."

"I will."

"Call me as soon as you get there o.k." Emma said smiling. She was so happy for me. She hugged me. "Don't get into any trouble out there."

That was just like Emma to say something like that. In the past that always annoyed me but she was just being a friend. A good friend.

"I'll try." I said hugging her back. We let go of each other.

"Bye Manny."

"Bye." I started to walk towards the terminals with the class.

"I'll be counting the days until you get back." Emma said. She sounded so sincere. I stopped walking instantly. _Wait, I wasn't coming back. Ever. I'll never see her again, _I thought to myself. My eyes started to water. _I can't believe this. I'm leaving Emma. My best friend. For 5 months I was constantly throwing the word best friend around to people who didn't deserve it, to people who don't even care about me. Emma always cared. All she ever did was care. _I turned back around, ran to Emma and hugged her. Tight.

"Emma I-I love you. I always have form the day we met. You will always be my best friend." I told her. I wanted her to know that I meant it.

"I, love, you, to Manny." Emma said not knowing how to react. I had not let go yet so she pulled away from me. She noticed the look on my face.

"You o.k." She smiled in a cheerful tone.

"Yea. I'm fine. Flying always make me nervous." I lied. I tried my best to look happy by giving a phony laugh.

"I'm sure you'll be o.k." Emma reassured me.

"Yea. I'll be fine." I replied.

"Manny, lets go." I heard someone from the group say to me. I turned to look at them then back at Emma. She made a playful frown and waved at me.

"Bye Emma." I said to my friend and walked away. Her and Snake stood there until I went through the metal detector and then they left. I'm going to miss her.

"So, you ready to go?" I heard a guys voice ask me as we were waiting in line to board the plane. He was behind me. It was J.T. I didn't know how to act around him anymore. _Grow up, we're still friends, _I thought to myself.

"Ready than I'll ever be." I smiled. The line was moving slowly because Ms. H was at the front making sure that everyone on the list to go was in line.

"Umm J.T., about the other night-" I began. J.T. cut me off.

"It's o.k. Manny. You don't have to explain. We can pretend like it never happened." He smiled in his irresistible J.T. way. The longer I thought about it I wondered if I really wanted to pretend like it never happened. An awkward silence fell between us. I looked at him and he was staring at me. He turned away when he noticed that I saw him.

"So uh, could you like help me find my seat number?" I said while showing him my ticket. I so wanted to get rid of the strange vibe.

"Well since we are going as a group there is a section for us. We can sit wherever we want as long as we stay in that section."

I don't know why I asked him this next question but I did. "Do you want to sit together, maybe?"

"Sure."

I didn't realize it but I was next to give my ticket.

"You're ticket please." The flight person asked. I handed it to them and stepped aside so J.T. could go. I waited for him on the side. When he was done we walked down the breeze way side by side. He didn't have a carry on. All he had was a jacket. I just had a back pack. When we stepped on the plane it was freezing. We walked down the narrow isles.

"Is this our section?" I turned to ask Ms. H, but she didn't hear me. "Umm o.k."

"I'm sure this is fine." J.T. said not really knowing himself.

I began to try and put my bag in the over head compartment. As I was lifting it J.T. stopped me.

"Let me get that." He said as he took it from me and put it in there.

He sat down first taking the window seat and I was left with the isle. Our school came on the plane first because we were minors and then the rest of the passengers came on.

"It takes like 30 minutes just to get everyone situated." J.T. griped.

"Oh I know." I agreed.

We both just sat patiently as everyone boarded. It really did take almost 30 minutes.

"**GOOD MORNING LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. THIS IS FLIGHT 654 TO LOS ANGLES, CALIFORNIA. WE ARE LOOKING AT MOSTLY CLEAR SKIES AND SUNNY WEATHER. THE TIME IS APPROXIMATELY 8:41. WE WILL BE DEPARTING MOMENTARILY. THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING SOUTHWEST AIRLINES. WE HOPE THAT YOU ENJOY YOUR FLIGHT."**

"Finally." J.T. said as he peaked over the seat in front of us.

The plane started going. Some of the immature idiots in front of us started cheering.

"Dumbasses" I whispered. We shared a laugh. We took flight in about a minute. I could hear the wheels going back in. When we were in the air I started yawning.

"Ya tired?" J.T. asked looking at me.

"Yes very actually. I didn't go to sleep last night." I said as I leaned my head back against the head rest.

"Take a nap. By the time you wake up we will be there." He suggested.

"Hmmm I think I might do that. I'm beat."

"Mrs, excuse me Mrs, can I have a pillow please." J.T. said to the flight attendant. J.T. is so nice he's always thinking about me.

"Here ya go sir."

"Awww. J.T., you didn't have to do that" I said holding the pillow.

"Well I want you to be comfortable." he smiled. His smile was amazing.

"Do you mind if I lay on your shoulder?" I asked him trying not to sound to ridiculous. He flashed me another smile.

"Of course not."

I got the cover out of the seat pocket in front of me and unfolded it to lay it out on me.

"You want some?" I asked.

"Nah I'm o.k."

"Well umm goodnight." I said looking at him once more.

"Sleep well." He said to me then he looked out the window.

I gently placed my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. I was really tired and fell asleep almost immediately. It seems like I woke up like every hour due to the turbulence but I was so tired it didn't even matter. I would open my eyes for half a second and just go back to sleep. After about 8 hours of disturbed sleeping I heard the commotion of people standing and getting their things. I wasn't in the same position as I was in when I first went to sleep. J.T. was also sleeping. He had his arm around me and I was laying my head on his chest. I have no idea how we ended up like that.

"J.T…J.T." I said shaking him a little as I sat up, "We're here."

J.T. blinked his eyes twice. He stretched his arms.

"Gosh I guess I was tired to." He yawned, still stretching. I just smiled at him. Since there were so many people in the isles, J.T. and I had to wait before we could stand. We didn't have to wait long though. When I got a chance I went into the isle and I got my bag out of the over head compartment. J.T. stayed behind me until I was done with that. I then moved up so he could come out.

"Hey, hey, my group, go ahead and go on out but once you get inside the airport just have a seat." Ms. H yelled.

Me, J.T. and the rest of us headed to the exit. We got there and stepped on to the breeze way. Again me and J.T. walked side by side chatting. LAX was a huge airport. There were 2 parts. Me and J.T. took a seat like we were suppose to.

"I'm still so tired." I yawned. J.T. was sitting next to me, "Can you believe the size of this place?"

"No it's like a separate little city." J.T. said as he looked around a little.

Ms. H finally came out. She was the last one. "O.k. c'mon. This way. The buses are waiting outside."

The group followed. We had to walk for about 5 minutes, get in a shuttle, go to baggage claim, then walk some more before we got to the buses. _Wow. It's so beautiful here. I cant believe just hours ago I was freezing in the snow and now I don't even need a jacket. The sun is so beautiful, _I thought to myself. It was about 2:30 California time. There were 4 guys standing by the buses.

"Just leave all your bags right here and we will load everything." They told us.

We got on the bus one by one. The hotel wasn't that far from the airport. Only about 20 minutes away. A lot of people probably don't know this but The Hilton has great deals. Since Ms. H was going to need about 30 rooms they gave her an incredible discount. When I stepped inside that place I almost fainted. It was so beautiful.

"J.T. look at this place." I said as I looked up at the ceiling slowly spinning around.

"I know. Never in my life did I think that I would get a chance to stay here."

It took awhile for the bell boys to unload all of our stuff. Ms. H was at the desk getting all of the rooms together. I saw them give her a whole bunch of key cards. She walked over to the group after.

"Alright listen up, here are your keys. Try not loose them." She was talking loudly so everyone could hear her. She passed out the key cards, "Now this is important. When you go somewhere try to use taxi's more than buses. You will get lost on a bus. Do not, I repeat, do not go anywhere alone. I mean it. If I find out you did I will send you home early."

Everyone took off running to their rooms.

"Hey, one last thing." Everyone paused. "Have fun." Ms. H smiled.

They crowded the elevators. I was not about to get in that so I waited. J.T. did as well.

"Do you wanna go hang out, look around L.A.?" J.T. asked me as we waited for one of the elevators to come back down.

"Defiantly." I smiled, "I'm gonna take a shower first though. Lets meet in the lobby in about 40 minutes."

"O.k."

The elevator came down.

"What floor you on?" I asked as I stepped on the elevator.

"Uhhh 7."

"I'm on 6."

Me and J.T. were both in the elevator. There was also 2 ladies in there.

"What floor?" One of them asked.

"6 and 7 please." J.T. answered.

My floor came first.

"See you soon." I said as I stepped off.

The elevator then closed. The hallway was so long. I saw a couple other Degrassi kids on that floor but they were on the opposite end. I finally came to my room. It was room 616. I stuck my card in and the door wouldn't open.

"O.k."

I tried again. It still wouldn't open.

"What the fuck?" I said aloud.

I took the card out and glanced at it. It was upside down.

"Oh." I smiled.

When I walked in I couldn't believe my eyes. The room was beautiful. It was a queen size bed. The bathroom was huge with a hot tub inside. I dropped all my stuff and ran to the window. The city was so pretty. It was nothing like Canada. I rushed to get my cell phone. I laid on the bed and scrolled down my phone book until I came to My Love. I was calling Craig. Of course he didn't answer. It was no biggie. He was probably busy or something. I jumped up and almost broke my back trying to lift my bag onto the bed.

"What am I gonna wear?" I said to myself. I dumped out all my clothes. I wanted something hot to wear. I was in L.A. now.

"Hmmm." I said as I stepped back to look at everything. After going through everything like twice I decided on a my black pin striped pants and my grey button down long sleeved shirt. It was a girl's shirt but it was designed to look like a man's. Kinda like the boy cut concept for jeans. The shirts neck line was very low so a lot of cleavage usually showed when I wore it. I picked out my black strappy high heel sandals to wear with. Since my outfit was together I rushed to the shower. I was pretty fast. I made sure my hair was super straight. I wore black eye liner and lip gloss for make up. I took one last look and was out the door. J.T. was already down stairs. I could see him from the elevator. He looked nice. He had on jeans and a black long sleeved shirt with sleeves pushed up to mid arm. I loved it when guys did that with their shirts. I have always thought that was so sexy. I walked over to where he was.

"Hey." I said tapping him on the shoulder.

He turned around "You ready?"

"Yea."

"Lets go."

We walked out of the hotel and headed down the sidewalk.

"So what do you want to do?" J.T. said with a happy tone of voice.

"Everything!" I squealed with excitement.

"Awesome." J.T. replied.

We stopped in like every place we saw. Even the stupid places. We wanted to see everything. We stopped in vintage stores, expensive stores, skate/surf shops, shitty gas stations, everywhere. We did for hours.

"Man, are you hungry?" J.T. asked me rubbing his stomach.

"Starved." I replied.

We had not eaten anything all day. It was around 9:30 at night. We began to look around to see what we wanted to have. There were several choices. This one place caught our attention

"Hey, this place looks cool. Do you want to eat here?" J.T. asked me.

"Totally." I replied.

It was this place called Rasta Pasta. It was a Jamaican style place but they specialized in pasta. When we walked in it had such a chill vibe.

"Good evening, how many tonight?" The host greeted us.

"2" J.T. answered.

"Right this way."

He took us to our table.

"Ill give you a some time to look over your menus. Someone will be right with you."

"Thanks." I said looking up at him.

"This place is so awesome." J.T. said looking around.

"I know."

"What do you think you want?" He asked me.

"Umm I don't know yet."

About 5 minutes later the waiter came.

"Have you guys decided?"

"Yea." J.T. answered.

"Manny what do you want?" J.T. asked me.

"Umm the vegetable linguini."

"O.k. let me get the vegetable linguini and chicken parmesan ." J.T. said to the waiter.

"O.k. what will you have to drink with that?"

"Is coke o.k.?" J.T. asked me.

"Yea."

"Two cokes please." J.T. said answering him once more.

"Thank you. Your food will be out shortly."

J.T. took my menu and his and gave them both to the waiter. I loved how J.T. handled everything with ordering and everything. I had no idea that he could be so together like that. Me and J.T. didn't say much when we were waiting for the food to come. It didn't take long.

"Thank you. It looks excellent." I said as the waiter put the food on the table.

"Is there anything else I can get you." The waiter asked.

"No. Thanks." J.T. replied.

We started eating.

"This is so good." J.T. said while he sprinkled cheese on his pasta.

"It looks good."

"You wanna taste?" J.T. asked me.

"O.k."

He put some on his fork and fed it to me.

"Mmmm that is good." I told him.

We were really hungry so we ate everything. When we were done. The waiter came to get our plates and leave the check. J.T. looked at the little check booklet thing and pulled out his wallet.

"Oh J.T. you don't have to." I tried telling him.

"I got this. You're a girl I'm not gonna make you pay for your food." He said as he put the money inside. I smiled. It's a good thing he paid because I only had 100 dollars. Since Roxy didn't come I didn't get that 2,000 dollars we saved. That 100 dollars is the only money I have.

"We should head back." J.T. suggested.

"Yea." I agreed.

We left and went outside to get a taxi. When we got one J.T. opened the door for me.

"Thank you." I said as I sat. J.T. followed behind me.

"Could you take us to The Hilton please." J.T. told the driver.

"So any thing in particular that you want to do tomorrow?" J.T. asked me.

"Well Craig got me an audition here. Its tomorrow."

"Oh wow. Do you know what its for?"

"I don't know anything about it. All I have is an address and name."

"Well that should be cool."

"Yea."

We were at the hotel in about 15 minutes. I got out first. J.T. stayed inside to pay the cab driver. When we walked in the lobby the clock read 11:30. That's 2:30 in Canada.

"I don't know about you but I'm exhausted." J.T. said as he yawned.

"Oh my God, so am I." I pressed the up button for an elevator.

"I had a great time today Manny."

"Yea so did I."

The elevator came. We stepped inside. It was just the two of this time.

"6 right?" J.T. asked.

"Yea." I said kinda nervous.

"J.T. Do you want, to stay in my room?" I paused, "We don't have to do anything. I was just asking so ya know, we wont have to stay alone."

"O.k. That will be good." He smiled. I smiled back.

When we got to the 6th floor we headed down the hallway. I didn't have any trouble getting in this time. When we walked in J.T. sat on the bed. He started to take his shoes off.

"Sorry it's such a mess." I said trying to clean up a little.

"It's no problem."

I got a pair of shorts and a tank.

"I'm gonna go change." I said as I walked in towards the bathroom.

"K"

When I went into the bathroom I put my hair in a ponytail and threw some water on my face. I grabbed a towel and dried it. After, I looked at myself in the mirror for a second. I then changed into my night clothes. I don't know why but all of a sudden I felt a little nervous. I turned the light off and walked out. J.T. was already undressed. I just threw my clothes on the pile on the floor. I turned the light switch off and just the lamp next to the bed was on. J.T. was sitting on top of the covers. When I walked over to the bed he stood up. Together we pulled the covers back. We both got in. It was awkward for me and I could tell it was awkward for him as well.

"Well pleasant dreams." I said nervously.

"You to." He replied.

We scooted over to each other and did the whole kiss on the cheek thing.

"Goodnight." I said

"Goodnight."

I laid down and turned to my side. J.T did the same. Our backs were to each other. I reached over and turned the lamp off. We said nothing. I was soooo tired but couldn't sleep. I had no idea what the problem was. I could feel J.T. start to turn over. He put his arm over my stomach and pulled me close to him. We were in the spoon position. He lifted his head and kissed me on the cheek.

"Goodnight Manny." He said once more.

"Goodnight."

I was asleep in no time.

I woke up and completely forgot where I was and was startled to see J.T hugging me. I then remembered my audition it would help if Craig told me what it was for. I then got up not even waking J.T he was a heavy sleeper. I put my hair in a pony tail and grabbed my cell phone. I dialed his number and he didn't answer. Now I was becoming less disappointed. He was a busy rock star why would he have time for me anyways?

I sighed and went towards my closet. I got my long sleeved black shirt. But the sleeves had like holes on the sides and it was designed so you could see some cleavage. I got my matching grey skirt that had a little black in it. I jumped in the shower and dried my hair. I put my outfit on. I put my black boots on so it looked sexier. I had my hair down and straight. I put on my silver gold hoops with some lip gloss and shiny eye shadow. When I was done J.T was still sleeping I was hoping he was awake so at least someone could wish me good luck. Well it was okay. I grabbed the directions and some money to pay the taxi and headed out of The Hilton.

As I was walking I suddenly became nervous. What if I wasn't good enough? A beautiful blonde then passed by me with a coffee in her hand and talking on her cell phone. I bet that she could be an actress. I looked at the directions and then was about to hail a taxi. When I thought..._I am going to be here and I'm not going back to Canada...I'm living here on one hundred dollars. Fuck...man I need a cig._

I reached into my pocket to pull out one and then thought. How would these big movie stars feel if I smelled like smoke…I then resisted temptation and decided to take the bus.

I now know why Mrs. H said don't take the bus and not to go alone. It is very confusing. There were sicko's on the bus hitting on me for one thing. Another thing was I got off on the wrong street twice! I then had ten minutes to get there I ended up taking another bus which lead me two blocks away.

I began walking when I looked up and actually saw it. It was a big building and very beautiful. I walked inside to find a big sign that said "Kelly Auditions"

I then walked up to a nice looking guy.

"UM hi my name is Manny um where are the Kelly auditions?" I asked.

He looked at me as though if examining me.

"Listen little girl, the Kelly auditions are for how shall I say more experienced and um better um looking than you." He said looking at me.

I felt a stab at my heart. But I didn't travel all this way for nothing. He turned around. I then tapped him again.

"Just please tell me where the auditions are." I said I must've sounded either really desperate or really determined I felt both emotions so I couldn't tell which one he felt. He just said.

"Third floor. You'll be able to tell from there." He said as he turned back to whatever he was doing.

I smiled and rushed to the elevator. It was a spacious one there was another girl in there. She had red hair and was very skinny. She turned and looked at me.

"Hello." I smiled at her. The elevator door closed and she pushed the button 3."Oh um I'm going to audition for Kelly. Are you?"

"Listen um whatever your name is but um what do you think you are doing auditioning for Kelly?" She asked me.

"Well my boyfriend got me an audition and my audition is in five minutes." I said getting the hint I got an enemy already.

"Ha! This is the nicest and best advice you'll get...don't go you'll get your cute little girl next door butt kicked and um this is a lead role in a movie I have been in three movies and well I'm not even sure I'll get it…who am I kidding of course I will. You see this role is for a model's life and the skinniest girls will be here I mean you got curves but what they really need is bone I mean I spent six months throwing up for this role."

**DING.**

I looked and the doors opened_. I couldn't believe this I hadn't even auditioned and I got criticized twice. What if I was really that fat? What if I wasn't good enough? Wait I didn't come all this way for nothing...but then again I should be getting a job. But what will Craig say? He will be to busy to care..._

"Um Elevator girl are you getting out?" She asked me with her hands on her hips.

I barely realized that I was standing in the way and I stepped out of the elevator and I immediately saw a lot of Skinny blonde twigs all around me. I careful walked around and looked to see them all dressed in expensive clothes or skanky clothes. I saw one other brunette but she was the skinniest of all and she kept on saying.

"I'm so huge oh why did I eat that cookie last week?"

I looked around and all I saw was pretty girls all around me. I then looked on the other side of the room and still saw all very beautiful girls. I then looked down at me and I was nothing compared to them. They seemed to me looking at me as if I didn't belong. As if I was some bug that needed to be squashed. I found a seat between two blonde girls. One of them had a mini pink dress and the other had some low risers with a clingy silver top.

The one blonde girl in the pink mini dress turned and smiled at me.

"Hi my name is Amber. Are you nervous? I have seven other auditions after this." She whispered to me.

I smiled. For a second a little confidence arose in me. A beautiful person was talking to me.

"Um," I cleared my throat. "My name is Manny and this is my first audition in like well ever." I said truthfully.

For a second she gave me a look as though she thought I was kidding. But when she saw my face didn't change she quickly smiled.

"Um not to be rude but um nevermind but while you're here I have to show you the ropes. You see that girl over there with the red hair. Her name Is Princess, she has been in three movies they say one more movie under her belt and she's set for a full Hollywood career she could be really famous she is an upcoming star everyone mostly knows that she's gonna get this role…"Amber explained to me.

Princess did look intimidating as she looked around and laughed at a girl. She then spotted me and gave me a look and walked towards me.

"Elevator girl! We need to have a little talk." Princess said grabbing my arm with her boney hand.

She took me to a corner and smiled sweetly.

"Look Danny-"

"Manny." I interrupted her. She sighed heavily and continued.

"Look Manny when you look around what do you see? Well when you look at me what do you see?" She asked me.

I looked at her and honestly said, "A very skinny and beautiful girl."

"Exactly and um I have been in three movies, three, very good ones in fact...now dear what do you have that's so special? I mean you're not skinny, not beautiful, you're not tall enough for the role, face it if you go out there you're gonna make a fool out of yourself. Besides how old are you? I'm going to be twenty two I think you are lost little girl." She told me.

At that moment I felt like crying. I felt so hurt. It's like I was getting put down before even auditioning. Why were people being so mean to me? I couldn't cry even if I wanted to my make up would get messed up and I defiantly wouldn't be able to audition. I wasn't gonna let her get the best of me. Just at the worse timing my cig craving kicks in. I then looked over her shoulder at Amber but she was gone. I then looked at Princess who was obviously bragging about her movies. She was right. Model's are suppose to be skinny, pretty and tall and I am none of these things apparently. I was just about to walk out when I heard.

"Manuella Santos, Princess Soto, Amber Taniya." A man yelled from one of the doors. Princess walked a sexy walk to the door.

"Hello Roberto I remember you when I had my first audition!" She said sweetly as she hugged him.

"Oh Princess if you are auditioning no doubt you'll get it!" He said as he let us in. As I walked in the room it was a stage. There were five people sitting in the audience seats and the spotlight was dead on center stage. There i saw the five peoples face but my attention was drawn to the guy sitting in the last seat.In my opinion he was veyr hot.He had that rebel look with his ripped jeans and black tight shirt.His hair was a little below hsi ears but wavy.He looked sharp yet hot.I don't know why but I couldn't help btu smile.Then Princess passed by and I felt my somach ache.

"Um Amber will you please come up."ONe old woman said.Amber gave me a smile as she got on the stage.

"Here you are Amber i'll give you two minutes.Memorize them and make it real."Another guy said.

Princess scoffed."This is easy and I actually thought it was going to be hard.Don't you think that this is easy Danny?"She looked at me.

"Manny."

"I beg your pardon?"She asked as her hand touches her chest.

"Manny,that's my name."I said as I looked at her with the dignity I had left in me.

"Like I give a rats ass."She said.

"Okay ready Amber?"I heard the guy say.

She nodded and smiled.

"My breathing is becoming harder Mary-anne.I mean i try so hard to pretend I don't see a fatcow in the mirror but it's there.Staring at me.I tried to block it out and see the real me but as I think about it.That's the real me I see.That's why I love this,don't you getit I can stop this job.You see everyone in this believes what i'm saying.To be honest I am beautiful,I am thin,I am perfection of a girl."Amber then began to cry.But real tears not fake for a second I wanted to go up to her and hug her and say it's okay but then a second later she had on her perky smile.Then someone laughed.

"Honey,um it was okay but I have heard worse.I think you'll be best suited for a um maybe a hair product girl because your hair is lovely but for this movie,you sounded fake so...NEXT!"

Amber then walked passed us and whispered to me."At least I got off easy I mean he wasn't mean about it."

I looked at her and my jaw dropped she didn't even consider it bad.I would've been crying.

"Princess,Oh Princess I had no idea you were coming to audition please please come this way why are we even having auditions if you are here!"The guy asked as he hugged Princess

She smiled and took the script.After two minutes she smiled and got on stage.I had to admit for being a bitch she did very well but then agai bitches are always fake so she did good.

"Okay Manuella your turn."

I got on stage and Princess was watching they gave me the lines and as I read the script when I realized it was different from when Princess and Amber read it.

"UM excuse me but the scrpit is different."I said loudly.

"And you have a problem miss?"They asked me.

"Well um why is mine Different?"I asked polietly getting more nervous.

"Because it is now read and give us the scrpit!"

They snatched the script away from me.I then began to get nervous.The spotlight was on me and I didn't even memorize the lines!I tried my best as I saw bordem spread on thier faces.

"I-uh I stand at this,I can't wait to die.You want to know why because..because..I St-"

"Stand."The woman said.

"Yes Stand alone in the world and I try to um-"

"Break."The guy said.

My cheeks were flamming by this point and i saw Princess laughing.

"Break and um-"At this point I gave up.I turned to the producers.

"Listen doll face.The young guy said."Why did you even show up?Seriously what talent do you have to prove and you know this is a role for a girl with a modeling carrer one of the best and frankly ha,um you don't have any of it so save yourself some embaressment and do the entertainment industry a favor and don't audition again,your crap,you suck,and get off my stage."

_I was so tired. I felt drained from waking up and I knew I needed something. Maybe two things. One thing for sure I needed was Crystal. It seemed it was the only thing that kept me from dying. Another thing I knew I needed was someone. I knew this sounded bad but for a while I forgot about Manny. That's how much it was taking over my life. Kate seemed to be all I needed all I wanted. The tour and our fame became something second hand. I was questioning what I really wanted in the past few weeks. It was also weird that if I wasn't high I couldn't perform it wasn't long before Marco, Ellie, and Jimmy noticed. I admit it was very obvious. _

_"Craig!" Marco said to me as I was sitting down enjoying this feeling of enlightment. I wasn't even aware he was there until he smacked my shoulders. _

_"Huh?" I looked up and saw him mad. Which is kinda funny. Marco mad is really funny. I started to laugh when Marco sighed heavily and kneeled down and made eye contact. _

_"Craig you have a problem…we all know, you know. Craig your dream is coming true right before your very eyes but your too high to enjoy it! "Marco said in an angry voice. _

_I looked up at him I knew it was true but this feeling over powered me to laugh. _

_"For real?" I chuckled. "You mean that we are like...famous? "I asked. To be honest all that I know is that I sing in front of a loud screaming crowd. _

_"Craig all of California knows who we are!" Marco seemed to be very mad at me for some strange reason. _

_"Look, Marco...wait for gay right? Ha!" I just started laughing. That meant like instead of whores he got guys. I don't know why this was so funny be it was so funny. _

_"Craig look at you! I feel so bad for you dude! It's really hard to look at you. What would Joey, Angie, or Manny think. She's in California dude and you are going to have to see her eventually." _

_"Did I ever tell you I'm a procrastinator?" I laughed. _

_"Dude look at you! Its scary! "Marco seemed to be really upset. _

_"Okay okay...look um when's our next performance?" I asked him getting up. _

_I wasn't even high yet but I felt like I was a million times worse. _

_"You're a mess Craig, and I thought you learned from Manny's mistakes, well we are taking a break. Like a week." Marco said. _

_"Oh why a week?" I asked it was funny how new this news was to me. _

_"Because I dunno if you even remember but we had three concerts in a row and we might go on another tour soon. This is really getting me pissed off how your throwing your life away Craig." _

_"As far as I'm concerned I'm doing fine." I said as I picked up a magazine and saw us featured in an article. "Well we never knew we would make it this far? Oh my eyes I'm very tired. "When did I say this?" I asked as I turned to Marco. _

_"Well Kate coached you on what to say, even she is feeling threatened by you, do you know if you two get caught you are off to jail?" _

_Just then I heard a knock at the door. _

_Kate then peeked her head in. _

_"Hey guys um mind if I had a word with Craig?" Kate asked. _

_Before I could open my mouth Marco did. _

_"Actually I do mind I bet you are going to be doing more than just talking." Marco said fiercely. _

_"Temper, temper, my flaming friend. Unless you want the whole L.A to know your gay and bring down the band single handed I suggest you give us our private Space." Kate snapped. _

_I even kept quiet. _

_Marco just gave me a cold look before leaving the room. _

_Kate then laughed and brought the meth. She sat next to me and pushed me back on the bed. _

_Her eyes were bloodshot she was already high I can tell. Her shirt was exposing her chest and her skirt was really short she could pass as a groupie. _

_She then got closer to me. _

_"Here you can only snort this. For today." She smiled at me. _

_I just got the meth made my lines and began to snort. My nose didn't burn as much as the first time I did it but I did feel a little burn. _

_In seconds I was just laughing and we began talking and talking. _

_"I miss Manny I missed the sex too." I said as I began to grab airs of nothing. Kate touched me hand and then looked into my eyes .For a second there I had no idea what I was doing. I just laughed as Kate began talking about something. Soon after I was so out of it I could hardly talk I was just lying there and so was Kate. She then looked up at me. _

_"Craig is your dick big?" She asked me. _

_"Huh?" I asked but I knew what she said. _

_"Is your dick big? I love big dicks." She giggled as she turned and put her head near my dick. Her position made me see her boobs fully and I began to get a little hard. _

_"Yeah you'll love mine." I laughed as I tried to get up she pushed me back down. _

_"C'mon Craig let me suck your dick." She smiled. _

_"No, I no I have a girlfriend." I managed to say. _

_"So what she doesn't know," She unzipped my pants and pulled them down. "Wont hurt her." _

_"No Kate I can't." I said but she then pulled down my boxers. _

_"You know you want it," She then looked down, "Your friend does." _

_"Kate-" _

_Before I could say anything her mouth was sucking. She first started sucking soft but then started licking the head. Then began sucking hard. _

_"Kate, no, c'mon...I-I" My breathing got harder as she began to stroke it with her hands. It felt so good as guilty and as bad as it sounded I had needs. She began to Grab it harder and faster and then I knew it was comeing. _

_"Kate I-"She then put her mouth over it... _

_I felt this pang at my heart. I was still high but I don't think I could stop thinking about Manny and how Kate was wiping my come off her mouth in the bathroom just now. I cheated on Manny. I couldn't believe it. The girl I loved. I then knew what I had to do. I reached for my phone and made sure Kate was still in the bathroom. I then called Emma. _

_"Hello?" _

_"Hey Em it's um...Craig." I said. Fuck I shoulda waited till I was more leveled. _

_"Oh hey Craig, how are you I went on this website and your band is doing really good in Cali I can even download your song off-" _

_"Emma thanks and all but um I need Manny's hotel address and stuff she did give it to you right?" I interrupted her. I admit I did sound rude but sometimes she annoyed me. _

_"Okay it's.." _

_She gave me all her info I wrote it all down and it freaked me out how close she was. I then remembered her audition was today! I wonder how it went. _

_"Is that all?" Emma asked me. _

_"UM yea...uh thanks um bye have a good one." I hung up. _

_I then smiled at the information. I then heard the door closed. Kate left. I don't give a fuck right now all I know is tomorrow I am going to see Manny for a surprise visit._

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_God I can't believe that I actually thought that I could get that part. That was so stupid, _Manny thought as she was making her way through the building to the exit. Her eyes were still very watery, but she dried them with her hand before she went outside. She desperately needed a cigarette. After walking out the doors she leaned against the wall of the building, took out a cigarette, and put it in her mouth. She began searching for something to light it with but couldn't find anything.

"Where the fuck is my lighter?" she said aloud.

She was still searching when a man stepped to her and held his lighter in front of her.

"Need a light?" the man said with a smile. It was the man from earlier. He was very nice looking. Tall, about 6'1, and a nice slender body. He had dirty blonde hair and green eyes.

"Thanks." Manny said after giving him a semi cold look. "You were right. They wanted girls much prettier than me."

"Oh don't listen to me. I was being an asshole back there. I apologize, really."

_He seems sincere _Manny thought to herself.

"Apology accepted." Manny said as she exhaled smoke.

"I'm Luke." He said as he put out his hand to shake Manny's "Manny, right?"

Manny extended hers "Yea."

"Ya know, you really are beautiful Manny."

"They didn't think so." Manny said as she held her head down.

Luke lifted her chin and looked at her directly.

"You are." He moved his hand, "They were brainless and wanted a girl that looked like a slut. That's not you."

Manny flashed him a smile. "Thanks."

"No need to thank me…Gorgeous."

Manny looked away because she didn't want him to see how much she was smiling.

"You from here." He asked.

"No. I'm from Canada. I'm here on a field trip but my boyfriend got me an audition the same week."

"Where is your boyfriend?"

"He's in a band. They're on tour."

Manny threw down her cigarette to step on it. She walked closer to the street. She turned her head left then right.

"This bus system is so confusing." Manny said while walking back closer to the building.

"Where ya headed?"

"The Hilton."

Luke looked around first. "That's not that far from here. I could give you a ride if you like?"

"Thanks so much." Manny said walking up to him.

"My car is right over there, c'mon."

They walked towards it. His car was the last car on the curb at the corner. It was a black Mercedes.

"Nice car." Manny said stopping to look at it.

"You like it?" He said as he pulled his keys out to press the unlock button.

"Defiantly."

He went to the passenger side and opened the door for Manny. Once she was in he shut it , walked around and got in. He started the car and they drove off.

"What do you do?" Manny asked shifting her body his way.

"I'm a producer."

"Really?" Manny's eyes lit up.

"Well more of a manager."

He reached over Manny's lap to get to the glove compartment. "Excuse me." He said with a grin. Manny smiled innocently.

"That sounds just as good."

"It's a good job. Here's my card." He smiled. "What do you do?"

"Ugh, nothing." Manny said as she sighed loudly, "I don't know how I'm gonna get a job."

"What do you need a job for? I thought you were only going to be here for a week." He asked curiously.

"Welll, ummm, ya see, I'm kinda not going back." Manny said with a small giggle.

"Do you know anybody here?" he said looking at her.

"No. Well my boyfriend, but he's very busy. I still haven't seen him."

"Do you parents know about your decision to stay?"

Manny turned to look out the window. "My dad's dead and my mom doesn't give a fuck."

"Oh sorry about your dad." he said in a soothing tone.

"Well do you have any plans tonight?"

"No. Why?"

"There's a party tonight. A lot of important people will be there. I could introduce you to them."

Manny had a smile from ear to ear. "Oh my God. Are you serious?"

"Yea." He said looking at her.

"Thanks a lot."

"No problem." He responded.

They were at the hotel within 5 or 10 minutes. He pulled up to the doors. Manny got out and turned around to thank Luke once more for the ride.

"Thanks again for the ride. I probably would have never made it back here." Manny said with a smile and a laugh.

"No problem hon. Look can you be ready around 9:30?" He asked leaning on the passenger seat kind of.

"Yea. What should I wear?" She asked throwing her hair out of her eyes.

"Wear something really sexy. Like I said there will be some very important people there."

"O.k." Manny said with a smile.

"Well see you later."

"Bye." Manny said as she closed the car door.

Luke drove off.

**MANNY POV**

_Oh my God. That was so nice of him. I know somebody besides Craig. Hopefully he can help me get a job somehow, _I thought as I made my way through the lobby and to the elevators. I was a little tired. I had gotten up early. The elevator came down as soon as I pressed the button. How convenient. I also went straight up to my floor with out any stops. I headed down the hallway to my door. _I wonder if J.T. is still in there, _I thought right before I opened it. Sometimes I feel awkward around him and other times I feel super comfortable. It's weird. Oh well. I opened the door and he was still there. He was asleep but me walking in woke him. He turned over and looked my way.

"Hey." He yawned.

"Hey." I said closing the door.

"How was your audition?"

He was now sitting all the way up. I went and sat at the corner of the bed on his side.

"I blew it." I said not being as disappointed as I was earlier about it.

"What happened?" J.T. said as he pulled the covers back. He got up and came to sit closer to me.

"I wasn't what they were looking for."

"Oh well. Their loss." J.T. said as he put his arm around me.

"Yea." I got up and began to take my shoes off. J.T. put his arms behind him to support himself.

"What are you doing now?"

"Nothing. Probably just chill."

J.T. just did the whatever nod. Neither one of us were saying anything. J.T. was sitting there and I was still trying to get undressed. He then got up and got his clothes to put them on.

"Well uh I'm gonna head back to my room." He said as he was buttoning his pants.

"O.k." I said looking back at him.

"See ya later."

" Bye."

This was one of those awkward times. I think we both felt as if we should give each other a hug or something but we didn't. He grabbed his shoes and left. I finished undressing and grabbed a t-shirt. I was sleepy so I decided to take a nap. I tried to get it as dark as possible. I put my phone on silent and climbed into bed. I had so many thoughts in my head as I laid there. What I'm gonna do for money, Craig, this new guy and how he could help me, J.T. Hopefully everything works out well. I was asleep not long after. I slept for awhile. The first thing I did was turn over and look at my cell phone. It was 6:00 p.m. already. I must have been tired. Of course I had no missed calls. I threw the covers back as hard as I could. _Why wont Craig call me _I thought as I got up and walked over to the window. _Does he even think about me? _I almost got a little emotional but I stopped myself before I got to carried away.I was so hungry. I had not eaten all day. I had no idea what I was going to do about food. I couldn't afford to order anything. I threw on some shorts and went over to my purse to get what ever change I had. After peeking out the door I walked down the hallway to get to the vending machines. I got 2 bags of skittles and a bag of chips. I walked quickly back to my room. When I got in I was a little bored so I turned the t.v. on. That was something that I had done in awhile. It was nice just sitting back and watching t.v. I scarfed down the food I got. I wasn't really that satisfied but it had to do.

**RINGGGGGG. **My hotel room phone was ringing. I crawled over to the side of the bed it was on and answered it.

"Hello."

"Hey. Whatcha doing?". It was J.T.

"Nothing just watching t.v. What about you?" I asked him.

"Same here. Did you want to go out and do something?" He then asked me. He always seems to care. If I wasn't going to that party I so would have took him up on that offer.

"Oh no I'm probably just gonna chill ya know."

"O.k. well um have fun doing that." He had a little disappointment in his voice I think.

"What are you going to do?" I asked.

"I don't know. I'll think of something."

"O.k. well talk to you later."

"Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up. I felt kind of bad but this party was obviously more important. I watched t.v. and played around for about an hour longer. It was now time for me to start getting ready. _God what am I gonna wear? He said something sexy, _I thought to myself. I began going through all my clothes. I got the shortest skirt I had. It was black. I didn't know what shirt I was going to wear with it though. I tried on every shirt I had with it. A black halter is what I decided on. Now that I had my outfit together I needed to decide on shoes. That was easy. I went with my black strappy high heel sandals. I went to take a shower. I was pretty quick because I knew my hair was going to take forever. The bathroom had a nice vanity in it. I sat and began on my hair. I wanted it as straight as possible. It took like an hour but that was anticipated. My nails looked so cruddy. Normally I didn't care if they were chipped but I thought that I should do something about it. I didn't have any nail polish remover so I used alcohol swabs instead. It worked just as well. After that I got dressed. I looked really good and I'm not one to give myself compliments. It was only about 9:00 by then. There was still time left to kill. I turned the t.v. on and sat on the bed. I flipped channels for about 25 minutes. After taking one last look at myself and grabbing my clutch I headed outside. I saw some other Degrassi students in the lobby but they didn't notice me. When I got outside Luke was already out there. _Oh my God I wonder how long he has been waiting _I thought. I walked faster to get to his car. He was on the phone. I waved before I opened the door and got in. His eyes grew when he saw me.

"Let me call you back." He said into his phone then hung it up. He looked at me. "You're perfect."

"Thank you." I smiled. He looked very nice to. This was like my first time hanging out with like a man. I mean Craig is a man but Luke is like 30. "Were you waiting long."

"No, I just pulled up." He responded. His voice was so sexy and grown up. He looked to make sure there were no cars coming and then drove off. We didn't say much at first. He kept getting phone calls. I was listening to the sound of his voice rather that what he was actually saying. When he got off the phone neither one of said anything. It was a little weird. He looked over at me and smiled. I smiled back.

"So, where is this party?" I said to break the silence.

He turned and looked at me for a second then licked his lips. "What?" He said as he blinked his eyes with a slight smirk. I blushed.

"Where is the party?" I smiled.

"Oh It's at my house."

"You left your party to come pick me up?" I asked. That was nice. He could have told me to take a taxi.

He looked in the opposite direction, towards the driver side window and nodded.

"Thanks. That was nice of you." I told him.

"No problem cutie."

I turned away and looked out the window and he continued driving. We were there soon after. He lived in apartments.

"We're here." He said as he parked. We got out basically at the same time. I walked behind him until we got inside the building.

"Hey there." He said to the doorman as we passed him.

"Hello sir." He replied.

I simply waved. I followed Luke into the elevator. It was super quiet in there. He stood against the elevator wall.

"Manny you really are a hot one." he said shaking his head slightly. For some reason I was feeling comfortable around him. As if he was one of my friends.

"Well I'm not the only one." I said smiling at him.

"Woo." He smiled. "A smooth talker to."

His apartment was on the top floor. When the elevator doors opened we walked out and went to the last door at the end of the hallway. Luke looked back at me and grabbed my hand before we went in. This party was so different than any party that I have ever been to. I was used to loud music and high school kids all over each other. Everybody here was dressed nice and weren't doing to much dancing. People were drinking but didn't seem drunk. They were all talking. It was an older crowd. The girls there were all so pretty. They could have been models. Surprisingly the ones that noticed me walk in smiled instead of giving me dirty looks. A lot of the men noticed as well.

"Do you want something to drink?" Luke asked. I didn't know if he meant like are you thirsty or if I wanted a Drink drink.

"Uh sure." I replied. I really didn't want to appear young and stupid around these people. We went over to his bar. He was still holding my hand. He got me a glass of champagne.

"Thank you." I said as he was giving me the glass. I sipped a little. He got himself a glass as well. A man starting walking over towards us. At first I thought he was just coming our way but he was coming to talk with Luke.

"Well hello." The man said stopping right in front of Luke. He had a drink in his hand.

"Hello." Luke responded.

"Nice little get together you got here." The man said as he looked around.

"Yes." Luke replied.

The man turned to my direction, looked at me and smiled. I smiled back. I didn't know what else to do.

"Who is this?" He said pointing at me with his glass kind of.

"This is Manny." Luke said as he put his hand around my waist to introduce me. "Manny this is Sal."

"Hello." I smiled extending my hand. I really wanted to make a good impression.

He took my hand and kissed the top of it.

"Awww." I giggled. "Thank you."

"My pleasure sweetheart." The man said as he let go of my hand.

The mans cell phone rang.

"Excuse me." He said. He put up his finger and walked away.

"He seemed nice. Who was he?" I asked, turning to look at Luke. He was done with his glass. I was almost done with mine.

"Yea he is nice." He turned and got me another glass. "Here have another one."

I drank the rest of what I had and put it down. I took the one he gave me and started sipping on it. I like champagne. For the next 30 minutes I continued to drink and get introduced to a lot of people. Girls and guys. Everyone seemed so nice. I don't know if it was because they just were or because I was slightly buzzed. Maybe a combination of both. Somebody started playing some music. Me and Luke were dancing. Nothing to over the top, just moving. Somebody called his name. They wanted him to come over to them for something.

"I'll be back." He said looking back at them then turning to look at me.

"O.k." I responded.

When Luke walked away I was just standing alone. I didn't feel stupid at all. I must have appeared lonely. Sal walked up to me.

"Hi." I said to him sounding very welcoming.

"Hi." He responded. He came a little closer. "You enjoying yourself?"

"Oh yes. I'm having a great time." I took another sip of my drink.

"What are you going be to doing later?"

"Hmmm I don't know. Something good I hope." I smiled. I may have come off a little loose or something do to the buzz from the champagne.

The guy leaned in even closer. "Well do you uh want to get together?"

"For what?" I smiled. I was clueless to what he was referring to. He laughed.

"Aww honey, I think you know." The man leaned closer to me, reached his hand around and grabbed my ass.

"Ugh" I pushed him away and threw my drink on him. He was shocked. Luke noticed.

"You little bitch." The man said loudly.

I didn't know what to do or say. I just left. When I walked out the door I ran to the elevator. Luke was behind me. I was pushing the elevator button repeatedly wishing that it would hurry up.

"Manny, wait. What happened?" Luke said standing in front of me. I stopped and looked at him.

"You're not really a producer are you?" I said sounding as if I was going to cry. I almost did.

"No. But I can still help you." He said to me.

"Oh yea, help me be a hooker."

He just stood there for a second.

"Look Manny, I'm not gonna candy coat shit for you. It's time to face reality little girl." I turned my head to try to ignore what he was saying but he walked closer and grabbed my arm to get my attention. "What kinda job do you think your gonna get. I guarantee it wont be enough to make it."

I jerked away from him. The elevator finally came.

"I gave you my card." He concluded and then walked off.

I stepped in the elevator. The doors closed and I went down to the last floor.

"Have a nice evening ma'am." The doorman said to me. I didn't respond. I was alone walking some L.A. sidewalk.

_I can't believe I actually fell for that producer bullshit. I'm such a fucking idiot. He was a pimp and all those girls were prostitutes, _I thought to myself as I continued walking. I had no idea where I was. As much as I hated it I needed to take a taxi. I flagged one down and got in.

"Could you take me to the Hilton please?" I said to the driver. We drove. When we got there he told me that it was 25 dollars. I had to pay him. I went up to my room unseen, thank God. I took off my shoes and threw them across the room. I got into bed without even changing and hugged my pillow tightly.

"Craig." I cried. "I need you more than ever." I continued. I cried myself to sleep.

* * *

So what did u think?well hope u like! So remember **Starduss** helped me so give her credit too! the next chappy isgonne be so much cranny! so was it intense!**Well please review! Well i didnt forget ur sneek peeks so here they r:**

_With this drug in my body and in his I wanted more of him.As he threw me on the bed he began ripping my clothes off and i began to rip his off.His tounge was battling mine as our breathing began faster and heaviier.Craig was only in hsi boxers and me in my bra and panties.He wasted no time and with one hand snapped my bra off._

_"Craig...do you-"_

_But before I could say anything his boxers were off my panties were off and he began to go inside me._

_**XX**_

"Manny" Craig cried, "How could you do this?" He put his arm against the wall and leaned his head against it.  
I was standing there crying just as hysterically as he was.  
"Craig." I tried several times to get out what I had to say. "Craig, Craig, I-"  
"How could you do this? I fuckin love you so much Manny." He yelled.

XX

My world was spinning around I knew I took so much Marco came up to me.

"Craig are you okay?"He asked seriously.

"UM yea let's just do this thing um where are we performing at?"I asked him.

"UM dude we aren't performing...we are on break you just came back from being with Manny."

I looked at him an dher name and I bgean to cry as hard as I could."I am going to call her back!I need her!"


	11. The only way OUT is UP

**I know i took so long and im sry.**

**star once again helped me.( luvz her)**

**i know this is long but its worth the read.**

**i have a feeling im gonna gain and loose fans.**

**but i hope u guys will review! it makes my day! xoxoxo kisses**

Summary:Manny finally got her life back together,friends with Craig even..but when a new girl comes will she

take her back to the life that she just recovered?Or even worse?Ashley comes back from London..and not sure of the relationship

rated:M for violence,drug use,breif sex,language,situations involving teens,prostituting,rape

Disclaimer:I do not own Degrassi;or any of the songs used in the story

warnings:in future chapters there may be a scene not meant for younger audience which i will change the ratings

a/n:even if i dont get that much reviews i will continue to update I really fell in love with the plot and

i think this teaches us a lesson to always choose the right friends and learn to say no

------------------

Chap 11-

CRAIG POV

Shit, can't this guy drive any faster. I really need to see my Manny, I thought to myself as I sat in the back seat of a taxi. I was so impatient. I don't know if it was because I was anxious about seeing her or because of the crystal I did when the driver wasn't looking. Maybe a combo of both. Traffic seemed to be extra bad today. It was only like a 25 minute ride and its been 25 minutes and I still wasn't there. The driver kept looking back at me as if he was nervous or something. He turned once again to look at my nails tapping rapidly on the window.

"Oh sorry." I said leaning my chin on my arms that were now resting on the seat in front of me "Sorry about that I just can wait to see my girlfriend."

The man just kinda kept driving.

"I haven't seen her in a month. I really miss her. She misses me. We need each other." I said confidently.

I then sat back. I realized that I may have been talking to much. I tapped my foot on the floor waiting in anticipation until we finally got there.

"Thanks man." I said right before I got out giving him the cab fair. It was a beautiful day I couldn't wait to walk these streets with Manny.

"ROSES, 10 DOLLARS" some random guy said on the sidewalk in front of the hotel. Flowers, perfect, I thought to myself.

"10 dollars right?" I asked pulling out my wallet and handing him a 10.

"Yes sir, here ya go. I hope she likes him." the man smiled. I smiled back.

When I walked in I was at a loss for words. The Hilton was beautiful. I headed towards the elevators. It didn't take long to come down. When I stepped inside I began to feel a little nervous. I haven't seen Manny in a whole month, I thought. I took out a small bag with meth inside. I scooped a little up with my finger and snorted it. I quickly put it away. Deep inside my pocket. By the time I got to the 6th floor my confidence returned. I stepped out and proceeded down the hallway. I was so happy that I was finally going to see her I would have ran to her door if I didn't look to much like a dumb ass. I got to door 616. I hesitated before I knocked. I took a deep breath.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

MANNY POV

Oh my God, who is that? I thought as I turned over to look towards the door. I pulled the covers back and sat up.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Ummm o.k." I said slightly annoyed. I started walking to the door.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Oh my God." I said annoyed at this point. I swung the door open. I couldn't believe it.

"Oh my God Craig!" I screamed. I threw my arms around him and he picked me up and shut the door.

"Hey" he said sounding just as happy I was. He carried me to the bed and sat down.

"Hi." I said finally pulling away from him sitting on his lap. "How did you know where I was?"

"I called Emma."

He handed me roses.

"Thanks. These are beautiful."

"Well they are for a beautiful girl." He smiled and said sweetly.

God he looked so sexy. He had on a tight black shirt and a snug pair of jeans. His hair had that dirty unwashed look and he looked a lot slimmer. I kissed him, went straight for the tongue. He flipped me over so that he was on top. He looked at me and smiled, I smiled back. He kissed me once more and then sat up kind of. I raised up on my elbows.

"So rock star, what's been going on with you? How many girls have been trying to fuck you?" I said jokingly.

"None. And besides if they were it wouldn't matter."

"Sure. I bet." I said looking to the side.

"How's Marco and Jimmy?" I asked.

"They're fine. Pretty much the same." Craig said while nodding.

"I wanna go to one of your shows." I told him.

"Well we are on a break right now and I want to spend every moment with you." Craig said as he put my hair behind my ear. "I missed you more than you would ever know."

"No. I missed you more than you would ever know." I reassured him. He had no idea what it was like without him. Not at all. We kissed again but it was quick.

"What about you? How was you audition?" Craig asked me smiling.

"I blew it, completely." My expression changed a little.

"Is this what you wore?" Craig asked tugging at my skirt playfully. Shit I completely forgot I was still in the outfit that I wore to the party I immediately thought.

"Uh yea.". I didn't want to have to explain this outfit.

"And you didn't get the part." He said shocked "I'm surprised." I didn't say anything.

"Oh well. They were dumb to give the part to some one other than you." He smiled. He's so nice to me.

"Thanks."

He moved up closer on me so that he was closer to my face. The change in position made me lay all the way down. Craig started kissing my neck.

"Craig." I laughed. He kept going. He took his hand and started to rub my thigh. His hand was going higher.

"Craig." I said moving his hand.

"Ugh alright." He said lifting himself completely off me.

"Later." I smiled blowing a kiss up at him.

"Yea, later." He grabbed my hands and lifted me up, "C'mon, get dressed. There are so many places I wont to show you."

"Like where?" I said curiously as I stood up.

"You'll see." He responded.

I went in the bathroom and turned the shower on. I came back out to grab some things from my bag. Craig was stretched out on the bed watching t.v. with the remote laying on his stomach.

"Manny." Craig said lifting his head up to look at me. I was on my way back to the bathroom. I turned around right before I went inside.

"I love you." He said.

I so believe him.

"I love you to."

He smiled and continued watching t.v. I went in and undressed. It was a little steamy but I didn't mind because I liked the water hot. I stepped inside and started looking at the different shampoos. I saw the door open out the corner of my eye. It was Craig. He walked to the shower door and opened it and looked at me. I was actually a little shy. He was smiling.

"I reallllly missed you Manny." He said while staring at me from my head to my toes.

"You did?" I laughed.

He took off his shirt then stepped out of his pants and shoes. He stepped inside the shower. He came really close and pinned me playfully against the wall by my wrist.

"Your so silly." I said looking directly in his eyes. His eyes looked a bit different to me. Like they were lacking something. He started kissing me. I kissed back of course. He stopped suddenly and looked to the side. I turned to see what he was looking at. He had a serious look on his face.

"Manny, what…what happened to your arm?" he asked me as he brought my arm down so he could see it better. He was looking at my scars from where I had previously cut myself. Shit. What am I gonna tell him, I thought.

"Manny." He said.

"I-I uh-" I began.

"Did, did you this?" He asked

looking at me. I couldn't face him. I looked down. He held my chin up with his hand.

"Manny," He said looking at me then my scars. I was speechless not to mention embarrassed. He lifted up my arm and kissed my scars. He pulled me close to him and hugged me for like forever. He kissed the top of my head then pulled away. I didn't know what to do.

"It's gonna be o.k. I'm here now." He said. I believed him.

I was feeling slightly uncomfortable, but the feeling went away just as quickly as it came. Craig turned me around so that I wasn't facing him. He got the sponge off the shower shelf and started washing my back. I love the way Craig always takes care of me when we are together. We showered for about 15 minutes and I continued getting ready. Craig threw his clothes back on and just kind of shook his head. He always looked good with wet hair. I dried my hair straight and went to the pile of clothes on the floor and just stood there looking at it. I wanted something cute to wear since Craig was here. Everything I had just looked really simple.

"You always have taken forever to get ready." Craig said smiling but I could tell that he was tired of waiting.

"No I don't." I responded.

"O.k. You don't." Craig said pretending to be looking at a watch. I really did try to hurry. I got a tight pair of jeans and an extra small baby tee that had a martini glass on it. After slipping that on I was basically ready. I did some quick eye shadow and liner and was done.

"Let's go." I said standing in front of him.

"Finally" He playfully dragged. We headed downstairs. When we got outside I had a cigarette. We stood on the sidewalk for a sec.

"Well what did you wanna do?" I mumbled. My cigarette was resting on my mouth while I tried to light it. I did and took a puff.

"We have some time to kill. I wanted to maybe meet Jimmy then do some shit after that." Craig said looking around then turning my direction. He took my cigarette. I thought that he was going to throw it out but instead he took a puff and just handed it back to me as if he never scolded me about how bad smoking was for me. I was to shocked to say anything. Oh well smoking isn't bad.

"C'mon." He said grabbing my hand so we could get the taxi that pulled up in front of us. Craig let me in first then he followed behind me.

"Could you take us to Melrose please?" Craig said to the driver.

"Sure."

The driver took off. We were on our way.

"What's on Melrose?" I asked him.

"Well, I figured we could do a little shopping." Craig smiled looking at me.

"Really?" I squealed. He nodded.

I laid my head on his shoulder. He put his arm around me. My hotel wasn't that far from where we were going. We were there.

"Thanks." Craig said as he handed the cab driver the money. He got out first and I followed behind him. Every store looked amazing. Some I knew some I didn't. There wasn't a one that looked stupid.

"So where you wanna go first dear?" Craig laughed as we walked down the sidewalk holding hands.

"Uh…dear?" I said looking at him like where did that come from.

"Yea, dear. You don't like it?" He said smiling strangely.

"No" I paused, "muffin. It's cute in a um sarcastic kind of way." I smiled.

We walked down more. Craig is so silly. I wanted to get something that I knew he would like.

"Why don't we go in here?" I suggested.

"Victoria's Secret!" Craig's eyes grew from excitement. He playfully dragged me in there. There were a lot of cute things in there just as expected.

"So see anything you like?" I asked him smiling in his face.

"Definitely." Typical answer. We shared a small short giggle.

"Come here, look at this." Craig said while holding up a hanger. It was one of those black and pink angel shirts that split open at the bust, with matching panties. It was really cute actually.

"Oh I like that." I said taking it from him. We continued looking around. We got a couple other things, bought them and then left.

"Awww, honey thank you." I said as we were walking out. He had his arm around my shoulders and mine was around the back of his waste.

"No problem." He smiled, "Anything for you."

I smiled back. The shopping didn't stop there. We went to several other places. I got some more stuff and Craig got a few things for himself as well. Craig pulled out his cell phone 2 call Jimmy. I stepped to the side to look in some window. While Craig was talking he blew me kiss. I caught it in the air.

"You wanna meet Jimmy?" He asked as he slipped his phone back into his pocket.

"Yea. It would be nice to see him." I said as I walked over to him, "Will Marco be there?"

I missed Marco we were such good friends at one time. Craig was standing on the edge of the sidewalk trying to hail a cab.

"Uh no." Craig said carelessly. Almost like he wouldn't want Marco to be there.

"Where is he?"

"Who cares?" Craig said. I could tell he wanted to change the subject. He was able to get a cab and we went to meet Jimmy at some restaurant called Russo's. It had a chic vibe but also was kinda laid back. Jimmy was outside waiting for us. We went up to him.

"Jimmy…hi." I smiled hugging him, "You look great." he had let some facial hair grow. It looked nice.

"You look beautiful as always." He said as we pulled away from each other. I laughed. Craig and Jimmy did that handshake hug that guys do.

"I'm surprised you're not with a bunch of groupies" I joked.

"Yea. I wish." Jimmy responded. The 3 of us went inside. It was kind of dark but sexy. We were seated immediately.

"This place has really good food." Jimmy said as he looked at the menu.

"What's good?" I asked. He pointed at some stuff on the menu.

"What are you getting?" I asked Craig.

"I dunno. But I want something good, I'm starving."

We all continued to look at our menus.

"Um excuse me." Some random girl said from behind me. I guess she was cute. She had on a pretty cute out fit. Something I would where.

"You're the guys from D.S. right" She asked smiling really hard.

"Yea." Craig answered. Him and Jimmy both were smiling just as hard as she was. I was just sitting there watching this.

"I was at your last show. You guys rocked it."

"Thanks." Jimmy said looking at her then Craig.

"Craig and Jimmy right."

"Yea." Craig smiled at Jimmy, "That's right."

The girl put her hand on the table kind of like right in front of me.

"Wow I cant believe this. I cant believe I'm actually here in the same restaurant as you." She didn't sound stupid at all, but I was still was feeling ya know a little like Ugh Ewww towards her. It sucks being a girl. Always feeling threatened no matter what the situation is.

"Wow it's so weird to hear some one say that." Jimmy said looking at them both.

"Do you want to Maybe have a seat?" Craig asked her.

Ugh. What the fuck? Did Craig actually just ask her to sit down with us, I thought.

"Oh my God. Are you serious?" She asked in shock. Jimmy and Craig nodded. She then sat down. Jimmy had to get an extra chair from the table behind us. He put the chair right between him and Craig. The waiter finally came. He took my order first because I wasn't talking obviously. The 3 of them then ordered quickly and continued their conversations. Nothing changed when the food arrived. They barely even ate anything. I really couldn't believe this was happening. Like you hear and see this stuff on t.v. but you assume that its exaggerated because its for entertainment value but I was actually being ignored. It was as if I wasn't even there. I would say stuff and they wouldn't even pay attention to it. I mean I understand Craig wanting to be good to his fans and Jimmy trying to like maybe get her to come to his room after or something but like completely ignoring me. How rude. After I was done eating I was so ready to go.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom." I said getting up from the table but no one cared. The bathroom was empty. As silly as it sounds I wanted to cry. That's how stupid I felt but I didn't. I messed with my hair then walked out to see them sitting cheek to cheek because they were all scrunched together to take a picture. I walked passed them and went outside to smoke a cigarette. When I was about half way done I could see them saying their goodbyes through the window. Craig and Jimmy started walking towards the exit.

"Manny, what's up?" Jimmy asked. I didn't answer.

"She was nice, eh." Craig said to me. I was not amused.

"Whatever." I said as I stepped on my cigarette that I had just thrown down. I'm assuming Jimmy sensed a cold vibe.

"Um I'm gonna go now." Jimmy said slowly, "Manny it was nice seeing you. I'll probably see you later." He gave me a hug but I gave him the fakest smile ever. He knew I was pissed. He walked away. Craig came over to me and tried to grab my hand but I moved it out of his reach.

"What's wrong?" He smiled. Why the fuck was he smiling?

"Craig you completely ignored me to talk to some groupie slut." I spat. She wasn't a groupie slut but that's just the natural girl in me.

"Oh Manny." Craig laughed trying to grab my hand yet again but I moved it.

"Craig, why are you laughing? I'm for real mad." I told him. He kept laughing. He seems so different. I walked off down the sidewalk from him. He ran after me and yanked me up in the air. As much as I hated to it actually made me smile.

"Craig." I laughed. He put me down and looked at me. I stopped laughing.

"You hurt my feelings." I said in a pretend little kid voice while pouting.

"I'm so sorry. I don't think I could ever forgive myself. Please, Please, Please let me make it up to you." he smiled. Damn it's so hard for me to stay mad at him.

"O.k."

"Ah great. Let's go."

We walked to the bus stop and waited for the bus to come. We didn't have to wait long it was just up the street. He's been getting taxis all day and now he decides to take a bus.

"Why the bus?" I asked him curiously as we stepped on.

"It's better." He said putting the money in the slot. We sat in the very back. The sun was starting to go down just a tad.

"Where are we going?" I asked him.

"You will see." He said looking out the window. We drove down the same street basically.

"C'mon." Craig grabbed my hand, "This is our stop."

We walked to the exit and waited for the doors to open. Craig seemed so cheerful. He told the driver bye and everything. We got out and started walking down the sidewalk.

"Are we almost there?" I asked. I hope I wasn't being annoying.

"Yea." He looked at me staring directly into my eyes, "We are almost there."

We walked for another couple minutes. He didn't even have to tell me. I knew we were there. He took me to the beach. It looked amazing. Completely different then the Canadian beaches.

"Craig, wow." I said letting go of his hand and running to the sand. He walked up to catch up to me.

"Craig this is beautiful." I told him looking at the sky. The sun was setting and it was gorgeous. All types of shades of pinks and oranges. I couldn't take my eyes off it.

"I knew you would love it." He said now looking at it as intensely I was. I was actually able to look away.

"Craig you so get me." I said looking at him. He's so amazing.

"Of course I do. You're the most important thing to me." He said sweetly.

"I've been waiting to give you this all day." He said as he reached in his pocket, "Here." He gave me a small box. I didn't know what to say. I just took it. When I opened it there was a ring inside. I was speechless. I was holding the box when he took the ring out of it.

"Promise me you will be mine forever." Craig said.

"I promise."

He smiled so wide. I can't believe this. How did I get a guy like this. He put the ring on my finger. It fit perfectly. When I looked down I immediately noticed the box. It looked like the box that J.T. had given me the night I cheated on Craig. How could I do something so horrible? How could I do something so horrible to the one I love? My eyes started tearing up. I made a small sniffle.

"Manny, what's wrong?" Craig asked concerned.

"I-" I couldn't possibly tell him why I was about to cry, "I just love you so much."

Craig smiled and let out a sigh of relief. He pulled me towards him for a hug. We stood there holding each other. We sat down and watched the sunset together. It was beautiful. For the next hour we said nothing just watched. It started getting cold. I rubbed my upper arms with my hands.

"Yea it is getting cool." Craig said, "We should go."

He stood up then helped me up. We walked on the sidewalk. We passed several little convenient stores. He had his arm around my waist. He stopped walking.

"Hey uh, let me stop in here for a second." Craig said while pointing to a liquor store. What, I thought Craig drinks now.

"What are you gonna get?"

"A bottle or 2." He smiled, "You don't want any?"

"No, I'll drink some. It's just, since when do you drink?" I asked him.

"It's no big deal really. Stay here. I'll be right back." He told me before going inside. I waited. Craig is so different than what I remember. He smokes and drinks now. I wonder what other things he does now, I thought as I stood there. He wasn't in there long.

"Lets go." He said after walking out.

"How were you able to buy that?" I asked really wondering how.

"I know the guy that works there." He explained.

"That's good."

"Lets head back to your room." He said grabbing my hand. We went to the edge of the sidewalk to hail a cab. He got one right away. The cab ride was quick. We were there like that.

"Thanks." Craig told the cab driver. We both got out and went inside. We went through the lobby straight to the elevators. We had to wait though. When it did come down like 5 other people went inside when we were going inside.

"Uh 6 please." Craig said to the woman who asked what floor.

"Bye" I said to the people in the elevator as me and Craig stepped out. We headed down the hallway and into my room.

"It has been such a long day." Craig said closing the door. I threw my bags on the floor. As did Craig.

"Yea I know." I yawned. I have been so tired ever since I left Canada. I took my shoes off. Craig started looking through some of his stuff. I yawned again. I pulled the covers back and crawled in I was laying on my stomach holding the pillow. I was so comfortable. I really wanted to sleep. Craig noticed and started walking over to the bed.

"Ohhhh no you don't.." He said turning me over and climbing on top of me. I smiled a little.

"Craig I'm tired." I yawned yet again. He looked down at his pocket. He got up to his knees. I sat up to see what he was doing.

"No problem." He said as he pulled out a small bag. Oh my God. Is that what I think it is, I thought.

"Craig is that crystal?" I asked shocked. He laughed,

"Yea."

"Craig." I said sitting all the way up, "Just what the fuck is going on with you?"

"What are you talking about?" He asked as if there was no problem.

"I mean you smoke and you drink and now you do crystal."

"Your point?" he said smiling.

"Well what happened to that shit's bad for you Manny?"

"I didn't know how good it was then. You, my love, should have offered me some a long time ago." He said shaking his finger at me. I didn't know what to think. Part of me was happy but the other part was confused.

"Now" He paused and came back down to me, "You gonna let me get high alone?"

This was so bizarre. But, c'mon, seriously, I would never pass on crystal.

"Of course not." I answered. He smiled and came down to kiss me. He pulled me up and we went into the bathroom. There was a marble counter in there. Perfect for cutting powder.

"You got a razor?" Craig asked. He smirked, "Of course you do. Where is your razor?"

I didn't know how to take that but oh well.

"It's in my make-up compact, on the counter."

He went out to get it. He returned with the compact and the vodka. He handed me the compact and began to poor the vodka into the complementary little mouthwash cup in the bathroom.

"Here." Craig told me as he put the cup up to my lips and poured it in my mouth. A drip fell down and Craig licked it off my chin.

"Ewwwwaaa." I frowned. He laughed. While I got some of the crystal out of the bag to cut it, Craig poured himself a shot and drank it. He poured himself another. I was cutting the crystal. He then looked at me and put his hand on his hip. I stopped.

"Is there a problem?" I smiled turning to him.

"Uh let me." Craig said taking the razor out of my hand. He started cutting the crystal. He was doing it really fast but well. I stood next to him and watched.

"So, how long have u been doing meth?" I asked him.

"Not long. Just a little while." He was so fixated on getting it cut so finely. "Have another shot."

I did. Craig was finally done.

"You got a straw?" He asked. I went over to my purse to see if I had any in there and I did. I went back to the bathroom. I put my hand out to give it to him.

"Ladies first."

"O.k." I smiled. I kneeled down to the counter to snort the lines. I'm so happy I'm able to do this. I had no idea when the next time I would be able to get high would be.

"That a girl." Craig said rubbing my head. I stood back up. He took the straw and bent down to snort his lines. He came back up and rubbed his nose a little. He smiled at me and then grabbed the bottle to drink some more. I don't know why but I felt as if I had to keep up with him so I snatched the bottle away from him and started drinking more.

"Please, drink all you want." Craig said looking at me. I brought the bottle down and me and Craig proceeded out of the bathroom. Craig sat on the bed and I stood over by the window. The remote was sitting on the bed and he noticed. It worked for the t.v. and the radio. He reached for it and aimed it at the radio to turn it on. There was a pretty sexy song playing. Craig leaned back and rested on his arms. I liked the song so I started to move to the music. Craig was smiling. I walked over closer to him, until I was right in front of him. I could tell that he was liking it so I danced a little more provocative.

"Manny, baby, I have been wanting that for tooooo long." Craig expressed sounding very eager. I smiled and was feeling slightly buzzed. He was getting that way to. He adjusted himself down there the way that guys do. I took off my shirt and threw it to the side. Craig sat up all the way. He put his hand on the inside of my pants and pulled me to him. He started kissing my stomach and rubbing my thighs. I hugged him kind of. The crystal started to kick in for the both of us I think. Craig then stood up. We were both so giggly and had plenty energy. We started kissing. God I could kiss him for hours, he was always so good but it felt a little different this time.

"Ow" I smiled. Craig bit my lip as he pulled away. I wasn't expecting that. He started walking forward which made me back up. He lifted me in the air and pinned me against the wall. I gasped. I kind of liked it. He started kissing my neck and shoulders. I held my head back against the wall. He got me off the wall and was just holding me. My legs were wrapped around him. He took me over to the bed and just dropped me then walked over to get the vodka bottle. He stood there and drank a whole bunch and then took off his pants. He got on the bed and put the bottle in my mouth and tilted it. It was coming out so fast. I turned my head away and a lot spilled on me.

"Crrrraig." I spat. He was so full of sarcasm. Craig took the bottle, drank some, then put it on the floor. He climbed on top of me after taking his shirt off. I so missed the weight of him laying on me. He was touching me all over. He stopped to pull my pants off, while kneeling between my legs. I couldn't wait any longer.

"So, come down here and show me you're a man boy." I smiled.

"Oh yea." He laughed.

"Yea."

Craig then grabbed my thighs and pulled me to him roughly. He tried to reach over me to get a condom but I stopped him.

"No." I told him, "I wanna feel you inside me."

He entered me and it felt great. There was no taking it easy, we went at it. Craig was being so forceful. I couldn't get enough of it. We weren't even kissing or anything just pure sex.

"Oh my god Craig." I smiled. I was breathing so hard. He stopped.

"Turn over." he suggested. I turned over into the doggie style position. Craig grabbed my ass/waist so tight. A hand on each side and shoved it back in.

"You like that?" He asked.

"Uh huh." I breathed. We had sex and did drugs for what seemed like forever. He had so much crystal. Like an ounce I think. We finally settled down some time in the a.m. We were both sitting on the bed so restless, from the drugs.

"I am so not tired." I said smoking a cigarette after getting up to put a t-shirt on. I wasn't complaining, I liked being up with Craig and being high. Craig got up as well. He went over to where his pants were and reached inside his pocket. To my surprise there was another little baggie. It was pills this time.

"Here." Craig handed me one, "Take these with some liquor."

"What are they?"

"They will make us tired."

"I don't wanna be tired." I said walking closer to him, "I feel great. I want this feeling to last forever."

"Yea it is great but I want to sleep with you."

I was puzzled, "Why?"

"Well sleeping together means something. You can fuck anybody but you sleep with the person you love." He said with an expression I can't even describe. I wish that I had a camera to capture the moment.

"O.k." I agreed. I popped the pills and went for the vodka.

"Not to much liquor Manny." Craig warned, "Those pills are strong. It doesn't take much."

"O.k." I responded. I handed the bottle to him and he took his. He wasn't lying when he said they were strong. After about 30 minutes I could barely keep my eyes open. There was a euphoric feeling that accompanied the sleepiness. I had tracers. It was cool.

"Where did you get these? They're awesome." I mumbled to Craig as we lay in bed together.

"From a friend." He answered. He made sure I was covered up pretty well and then turned over to turn the light off. He got super close to me and put his arm around me. I felt so secure and safe with him.

"Manny I missed you so much. It was hell without you." He said to me.

"Same here. I was gonna die if I had to be without you any longer."

"I love you." He told me.

"I love you to."

He pulled me closer to him and the two of us drifted off to sleep peacefully. It was a deep sleep. As if I was sedated or something. Around 6:30 a.m. I heard a noise in my sleep. It woke me up. Craig had gotten up to pee. I looked over at my cell phone to see what time it was. I saw that it was still early and laid my head back down to go back to sleep. Craig came out like a minute after. He crawled back in to bed and I could like feel him looking at me. I didn't say anything though. He leaned down to me.

"Manny, Manny I know you're dreaming," He whispered in my ear, "And I hope its about me." He concluded. He kissed my cheek and then laid back down holding me. I am so in love with this guy. I just don't know what I would do without him. We both slept until like 1:00 in the afternoon. He woke up first though. He was looking out the window drinking a cup of coffee. I sat up.

"Good morning." I yawned.

"Morning beautiful." Craig said now looking my direction.

"Is there more coffee?" I asked.

"Yea." he pointed. He went over to pour me a cup. I got up to go to where he was. He sat down in a chair and I sat on his lap. I laid my head back.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked.

"Hellz yes. Those pills had me knocked out."

"Same here. Are you hungry?"

"Yea I could eat something." I answered. "Where do you wanna go?"

"Lets order it." He suggested.

"O.k." I got up to get the hotel menu and went back over to Craig. There were so many things to chose from.

"What are you getting?" I asked him.

"I think umm waffles. What do you want?"

"Umm I think an omelet." I answered.

"Cool." Craig went over to the phone to order the food. He stayed on the bed. I went to pee. When I came out Craig was laying on the bed smoking one of my cigarettes. He looked sexy smoking. I went over to the bed and straddled him taking the cigarette out of his mouth and then putting it in mine.

"Thank you." I said playfully to him. He laughed.

"What do you wanna do today?" I asked him.

"I don't know. Umm lets go swimming. I bet the pool here is enormous."

"Yea it probably is. I haven't been swimming in forever."

"I bet your gonna look super sexy all wet." Craig said lifting my shirt a little.

"Yea sure." I said sarcastically.

"You know Manny, you should really stop pretending that you think you look bad. You're just looking for compliments when you do that huh?" Craig said laughing.

"Ugh" I said playfully hitting him, "I don't do that."

"Yea ya do."

"Do not."

"Do to." he sat up and pushed me back on the bed and began tickling me. The both of us started laughing. We didn't even hear the bellboy come in with breakfast.

"Excuse me." The bellboy said trying to get our attention in a bitchy tone. He looked gay. Me and Craig stopped immediately from embarrassment. Craig got up and walked over to him. I still had the cigarette in my hand. The guy kind of gave me a snobby look.

"This is a none smoking room ma'am. Your going to have to put that out."

"Oh uh sorry." I told him walking over to find some where to put it out. Craig and I both noticed him looking in the bathroom. The door was wide open and there was residue along with the razor still on the counter. Craig hurried to shut the bathroom door. The guy gave Craig a dirty look then walked over to the table to put the food down there. Craig went over to his pants pocket and got his wallet to pay him.

"Here you go, thanks man." Craig said handing the bellboy some money.

"Enjoy your breakfast." he said then walked out.

"Can you say fag?" Craig said going to have a seat. I followed.

"I know right." I agreed sitting. Craig poured us some juice.

"Thank you."

We both began eating.

"Mmmm this is so good." I expressed about my omelet.

"Yea this waffle is pretty good." He mumbled. His mouth was full. He ate so fast it took me awhile. I finished not long after.

"Did you still wanna go swimming?" Craig asked.

"Yea. I'll find out what floor it's on"

"It says here 7th floor." Craig responded. The two of us then got ready to leave.

JT POV

I was walking out my room to head down to the lobby. I was contemplating rather or not I should ask Manny if she wanted to do something today. I was thinking maybe lunch or a movie. As I walked down the hallway I saw Manny coming up with a guy. Is that Craig, I thought, Where did he come from. Manny had one hand on his shoulder and was walking on her tippy toes to whisper something in his ear. I would love to know what she was telling him. He was smiling so wide. They both looked so happy together. As they got closer and closer I kind of moved towards where the other elevators were. There were like 2 sets of elevators on each floor. They walked right by. Didn't even notice me.

"MANNY" I heard a woman yell, "WILL YOU COME HERE FOR A MOMENT?" it was Ms. H.

"I'll be back." Manny said to Craig then went down to Ms. H. Craig stood there as she went inside Ms. H's room. An elevator came up and some people got out which drew attention to the area I was standing.

"J.T." Craig said.

"Yea." I walked over to him.

"How's it goin?" He asked.

"Oh Um fine. What are you doing here?"

"I came to surprise Manny." He smiled. I was trying my best to not seem bitter. I don't know if it worked or not. I nodded. "Did you guys hang out any while I was gone?" He continued.

"Yea, a few times. I tried to keep an eye out for her."

"Well how was she? Like did she get into any trouble or anything?" He asked concerned.

"Not that I know of." I was standing there with my hands in my pockets.

"Good I was worried about her the whole time I was on tour. Thanks good lookin out J.T. She's such a mess without me ya know." Craig said with a laugh kinda.

"What do you mean?" I asked. I would love to hear his answer.

"Me and Manny both know that she needs me. Like she can't function without me or something." He said. Arrogant asshole. What makes him so fuckin great, I thought.

"But it's cool, her needing me so much. I know no other guy will ever get what I got." he said smiling. I couldn't help myself.

"What makes you so sure that Manny is that in to you? Like what makes you so confident?" I asked him waiting to see what the asshole had to say.

"Trust me. I just know."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that." I told him. I should have stopped right there. The happy expression on his face changed drastically. I guess he was thinking about what I had just said.

"What?" he asked dumbfounded. J.T. don't do it, don't do it, I thought.

"Me and Manny fucked and wow, she functions perfectly." I said. Why did I just do that? I didn't know what else to do. I just walked away.

CRAIG POV

I just stood there as J.T. walked away. Oh my God. Did he just say that he fucked Manny, I thought. I was in disbelief. My brain was having trouble processing this. Not my Manny. Not my Manny that loves me, that needs me more than anything. I couldn't believe this. I love Manny so much she would never do that. I brushed my hair off my head with my hand. I looked over at Manny. She was smiling her beautiful smile. I looked down for a second then back up at Manny. Manny was done talking to Ms. H. She was walking towards me.

MANNY POV

I started to walk back over towards Craig. He was doing short paces back and forth. When he saw me he stopped. He started walking towards me. The look on his face was indescribable.

"Craig what's going on?" I asked. He didn't say anything. He grabbed my arm and pulled me around the corner to a secluded area but we were still visible. He was breathing heavy. He put me against the wall then let go.

"Craig" I began.

"J.T. told me that he had sex with you. Why would he say that?" Craig said looking at me. My heart started beating like 1,000 beats a second. I cant believe that I didn't have a heart attack right there. I wish that I had and died but I wasn't that lucky. I was speechless. His eyes were watery.

"Manny tell me that's not true." Craig said looking directly into my eyes. I really wanted to die. God please have mercy, please strike me dead, I beg you, I thought. I couldn't say anything. I could barely breath.

"Manny…Manny, why aren't you saying anything?" He said in a louder tone getting much closer to me. I turned away but Craig turned my head to his direction with his hand. My eyes filled with tears. Some fell down. Craig put both of his hands on my face and put his head close to mine and was crying. I've never seen Craig cry like this before. I placed my hands on top of his.

"Manny, baby please tell me that you didn't do that." He begged me but I couldn't.

"I can't." I said almost silently but he heard me. Craig let out a huge whimper noise.

"No" He said over and over. He pushed me away from him. He started crying harder. I started crying just as hysterically as Craig was.

"Oh God Manny how could you do this? I fuckin love you so much. Why would you do this?" He cried.

"I'm sorry." I tried to tell him.

"How could you do this?" He yelled looking at me with his eyes full of tears.

"Craig I love you." I cried trying to come closer to him but he backed away. He didn't say anything at first. He wiped his tears away. He was breathing so heavy. I'm surprised he didn't pass out.

"Manny I could kill you." He said angry.

"I love you." I said barely able to get it out. There was a silence. All you could hear was me whimpering.

"Fuck you slut." Craig said looking at me with a look of disgust.

"Craig please." I said as I touched his arm. "I love you.

He then flinched to make my hand come off his arm. He gave me this cold harsh stare. I couldn't tell if he was going to kill me or laugh or cry.

"I don't love whores I just fuck em."

I felt my heart fall to the ground. He stood there a second as if he couldn't believe that he actually said that. I couldn't believe that he actually said that shit. Then there was a noise from around the corner. Craig turned around and it was J.T. I had no idea what J.T. was doing there.

"Craig" J.T. said coming from around the corner, "Just lay off. Leave her alone".

"What? Leave her alone. You have really got some fuckin balls man." Craig said clinching his fist together." You fucked my girlfriend while I was gone and you have the balls to tell me to leave her alone!" I could tell J.T. was a little scared. Craig walked really close to him.

"Stay out of this. Or else I'll fuck you up and I'm dead serious." Craig said then turned back to me about to tell me something when-

"Just leave her alone." J.T. said. Craig turned back around towards J.T. He didn't say anything he just went up to J.T with a weird smile on his face. J.T just stood there unaware of what to do. Craig then let out a sigh laugh and punched him. My eyes grew so wide.

"Craig" I gasped.

J.T. fell back. Blood was coming from his nose. He got up and lunged himself at Craig. Craig caught him and pushed him back .J.T then punched Craig on the jaw. Then it grew quiet. Craig felt his jaw and then pushed him to the ground and started kicking him in his stomach. J.T. was curled up on his side covering his stomach but Craig was still able to get his foot there. He then got on top of him and started punching like a mad man. I had to stop this. I ran over to Craig.

"Craig." I said pulling on his arm. He kept on punching without any regard to what surrounded him. People started to look out their doors and stare at the fight.

"Craig, Craig stop" I begged him. He finally stopped. J.T began gasping for air. Craig looked at me then looked at my hand on his arm. I let go immediately for once in my life I feared Craig.

"What, you wanna save him, you wanna be with him?" Craig looked so hurt, his eyes glistened. "You go to him then." Craig said as he grabbed my arm and threw me down to the ground next to J.T.

"You fuck him stay with him! You know what fuck you!" He then pulled a five dollar bill out of his pocket." There I paid my whore!" Craig hiccupped because now he was crying. He took one more look at me and walked away. J.T. wasn't saying anything. I looked at him and began trying to help him up but somehow I felt so numb about what he told me.

"Manny, I'm sorry. If I didn't come maybe things wouldn't have gotten so bad." J.T said once he was completely to his feet. He sounded very sincere.

"It's not your fault." I responded. Both of us were silent. There was nothing to say. J.T. just walked away and I just stood there.. I backed up against the wall. I felt like I was gonna faint. I slid down the wall. Tears came down like a faucet. I felt like I was dying. This must be what death feels like. Then again right now death would be so much better...

J.T. POV

Damn I thought. I walked away holding my side. It hurt like a bitch. I honestly don't blame Craig for his reaction. I mean I would have done the same thing most defiantly .Manny said it wasn't my fault, but it was. I knew I shouldn't have had sex with her.. That was so stupid for me to tell Craig. I felt horrible. I guess I just wanted Manny for myself. Thanks to my jealousy...I walked in the elevator door as I heard the security guards come. As the door closed I saw Manny on the floor leaning against the wall with her eyes at a blank she looked over at me but the doors began to close just like my romance life with her...I lost her for good.

Normal POV

Manny was out of it. She couldn't focus on anything good the only thing, the only word, the only one, she was focused on was Craig's words...his words...

I don't Love whores, I just fuck 'em.

As she tried to move her head to see what the commotion was about two security guards were there.

"Ma'am I need you to stand up and come with us. "They said as they held out a hand to help her up.

She ended up just sitting there so the security guard had to hoist her up and in a way carry her to the elevator. They then pressed G button. They were going down to the ground floor.

"As you know Miss we don't allow fighting and disturbance of any kind in this hotel. "He said looking at Manny. She just nodded. They reached the ground floor and they took her into the office. As they were taking her one of the students recognized Manny and called out. "Ms. H!"

They then took Manny into the Hotel Manager's office.

"Have a seat." The young man said. He had jet black hair and green eyes. His suit was neat as he was smoking a Cigar.

"Let's see as I look into this I see you are on the trip from Degrassi am I correct?" He asked looking at the computer to his right.

Even though Manny was hurt, and hallow inside she knew she had to speak.

"Yes." Her voice came out raspy from everything that has happened to her.

"And might I add were you involved in a fight that accrued on my property? Where rude words were exchanged?" He asked Manny.

Manny knew she was in trouble now. Her heart wasn't even focused on this. She looked up and nodded.

"I take this as a yes. Well Miss. Santos room 616 am I correct?" He asked Manny.

She again nodded she couldn't find the strength to answer him.

"Well Miss. Santos I run a professional business you see all this? I am in charge and what you did is inexcusable and I will not tolerate this behavior under any circumstances. You have disturbed a lot of my customers on your floor. They have complained and there were children there. My hands are tied. If I have complaints I have to see that the person is fully punished. In a few minutes we will have someone check your room to make sure no other-um funny business is going on and-"

Just when Manny was about to protest about the room inspection the secretary barged in.

"So sorry to interrupt sir but we have an angry principal who wishes to speak to you about the girl."

He sighed and gestured his hands to let her in.

Mrs. H barged in angry.

"You sir have no right to question an underage student without any guardian or supervision or parent! This is simply unjust no matter what the circumstances were! I am in charge of Miss. Santos-"

"Excuse me Miss. Hatali-um Mrs. H. Your student has caused damage to this hotel reputation. There was a fight and some rude words exchanged on my floor! I have had complaints and as far as I'm concerned I have every right." He spoke quietly.

"No you don't," Mrs. H then turned to Manny. "Manuella please go to your room as soon as I get this whole thing sorted out we will indeed have a talk."

Manny was afraid to look up at Mrs. H. She didn't want to see the look of shame or disappointment. But since Mrs. H was defending her she had no other choice but to look up and she knew she had to reply.

It was just as she suspected. Mrs. H did have that look on her face.

"Yes." Manny's voice came out hoarse. "I'm sorry."

With those words Manny began to walk out of the office. As soon as she walked out there were people waiting outside. Half of them were the people from the floor Manny recognized when the fight went on. The other half, well most of them were her classmates. She felt embarrassed that now most of them thought she was a whore again. She knew she had to get to her room fast.

"Hey Manny why-"

Before one of her classmates had a chance to finish asking Manny ran as fast as she could. She didn't bother taking the elevator she had to get to her room quick and made sure no one could follow her.

She was so tired and she was going up the stairs as fast as she could. Her lungs started to feel like ice and she was more like gasping for air than breathing.

MANNY POV

My lungs were icy and it burned to breathe. My eyes and my lungs hurt so bad. I wanted to slow down but I knew I couldn't. I had to keep running up the stairs. It was so hard and the stairs somehow seemed to be getting longer and longer. It was getting more and more difficult but I couldn't stop I had to keep running. I turned the corner and as soon as I did there was spilled water and I tried to grab the rail but I couldn't and I fell. A serge of pain entered my knee and I immediately grabbed it hoping in some way the pressure of my hand would take the pain away.

"Ow!." I hissed.

My breathing was so bad I looked like a fish out of water. I then got the wall and leaned on it to try to get up. Sweat was everywhere. My skin was glistening from the corner light on the stair case. I then gasped I looked up at the light and it made me realize something.

These stairs and my running was exactly like my life. I was running away from my problems. I had to stop running and take a breath. As I was doing. Yet again life itself was making me run. I sighed and then banged my head against the wall. It hurt but by now I was used to pain so it was whatever to me. I slowly got up and began walking up the stairs. I finally made it to the top of the stairs even though it took me longer than anticipated. I seemed to care less now that they might kick me out. I was more relaxed. I don't know why. Maybe it was because I knew if I did get in trouble I would run away...far away...where no one could ever find me or catch me...

I don't love whores I just fuck 'em!

I shook my head. That sentence seemed to be haunting me. Okay...I just need to calm down. I reached in my pocket and pulled out my pack of cigz. I then remembered how they don't allow smoking on our floor. Ha! I turned and saw a camera. I then lit my cig took a puff and breathed it out. I then looked up at the camera and flipped it off. I began to walk towards my room. I was about to slide the card to let me in when it was already opening. I stepped back. Oh shit what if someone was in there? I actually felt my chest get cold. Oh no they will kick me out and-

What I saw made me feel even worse. Why does every time I think I've reached rock bottom. He looked at me and I saw his stuff all clumped up in his hands.

He just looked at me and laughed.

"Oh wow." He then walked away without saying anything after that. I just stood there. I then turned to him.

"O wow what the fuck does that mean?"

CRAIG POV

I had just sniffed some lines before I left. I had to make this trip worth it. Well to be honest my eyes were still burning form the tears I cried. I really loved, I still love her and I couldn't believe she would do that to me...I mean why would she do that to me? But when I opened the door as soon as I gathered all my stuff I saw her there. She still looked beautiful even though she looked like shit. It's weird to explain. I couldn't believe I still loved her after all this. Then I remembered what she did. The image of her screaming someone else's name and panting hard and someone's, might I add smaller, dick inside her. Made me feel dirty. I didn't know what to say. All I can manage to say was.

"Oh wow.." I then laughed a little as I began to walk out the door. I'm so fucked up right now.

Then I heard her.

"Oh wow what the fuck does that mean?"

I turned back to her. She looked angry but I could tell she was hurt. Yet she was acting like a little bitch. If she wanted an answer she was getting one.

"It's just amazing how you can be so calm, but oh well I guess when girls like you do what you do you're immune to it." I immediately regretted what I said. Fuck why did I have to take those fuckin lines! Maybe if I didn't I could of tried to talk to her. No, no, no what she did was wrong! Just wrong, She shouldn't have done what she did! She is a slut. But why am I so in love with her?

She then looked at me and stomped on her cig.

"Girls like me!" She asked angrily as she went up to my face.

I was in the zone right now. I needed to fix my heart with revenge. My heart hurt too much to be broken again. My soul needed something to temporary fill the gap. She hurt me and now she needed to be hurt back.

"Yeah you know. The ones that have fuck buddies when their boyfriends are away." I said casually.

"You are such an ass-"

"May be an ass but I'm not a slut Manny." I added in. Her eyes grew intensely of rage. How revenge was sweet. Yet my heart was hurting at the same time. I don't know why. Why am I finding myself so confused on my choices now?

"Fuck you Craig. You think you are the fuckin shit when your nothing you're a fuckin meth addict." She hissed with her head slightly tilted.

"Me? Ha! Sweetie look in the mirror you junkie. Are you even sure when your high or not?" I snapped back dropping my clothes getting a little mad myself. She then made a gesture like she was going to scream but instead made this weird sigh noise as she walked away and back to me with her finger in the air pointing at me. "Nice vacation huh? Bet your wishin you never slept with the penis pumping fetis! Man you really like to ruin friendships."

"Well hello you were the fucking idiot who messes everything up! You always ruin things and expect to be forgiven you a fucking cocky bastard! And you know what the world doesn't revolve around you!" Manny screamed at me. Okay now she was getting me angry.

"Oh you know what Manny fuck you, you little cunt." I said right in her face. I was standing super close 2 her. Directly in her face.

"Excuse me?" She asked shocked at what I said to tell you the truth I was even shocked.

"You heard me" Was all I could say. She then seemed to be on the verge of tears as she backed up. I wanted so bad to go hold her and tell her it was okay. I would kill anyone that hurt her, but I was the one hurting her and it hurt me to do so. But she had hurt me so much more. I needed my revenge. I just need to keep telling myself that. Or was it the drugs telling me right now I have no idea.

"You are a life ruiner! You like to kill everything you fuckin bastard" She shouted at my face.

"Me a life ruiner and kill? Ha! dear you shouldn't even be stating those words" I yelled.

"Cr-"

"Since you were the one who killed my fuckin child" I shouted almost at tears myself.

"You wouldn't even have been there! Too busy with Ashley:"

"You know what I'm glad I played you"

"Cr-"

"No bitch listen, u need to know where u stand with me and with all guys and with the world" I said looking at her like she was shit.

"Where I stand?"

"Yes you are a slut! Get it. No one ever takes u seriously unless they want u in bed. Your a quick fuck. A one night stand girl who you can toss around. You're just something to stare at you'll never be taken seriously so go shake your ass and get some money or go fuck a guy in the alley because you're never gonna be above that ever." I shouted. I knew that was bad because she was quiet.

"Fuck…you. You orphan bi-polar asshole." She said calmly.

"Well tell your daddy that he was right. His daughter was too much of a whore. That's why he left you guys to be with another family less dysfunctional." I spat. I knew I couldn't say anymore I had gone too far. Right then I wanted to apologize but something in me made me want to leave as soon as possible I was about to say something but I just couldn't. I don't know why but I just turned and began walking away. I took one last look at the girl. With the broken smile. With the broken body. With the broken soul. The one I loved. The one that broke my heart. In return I made sure I did the same. I'm not sure if I regret it or not. But as I walk down these stairs and see her just standing there not moving. I'm starting to think I made the wrong choice. I then go downstairs. SHIT! I forgot my shit inside her room!. Ah fuck I can't go back...fuckin shit man...oh well…I can't go back. I won't go back. My heart was hurting. Literally. I guess it's true you think that people are making it up when they say their hearts hurt and ache but it's true I can feel it in my chest.

MANNY POV

It's funny. No wait. Hilarious. It's been two days since it's happened at it feels like years. The door remains closed . Locked. No one can enter this place. No one can see me. The only person who has heard my voice was Mrs. H when she went to my room.

"I've discussed it and it seems that you didn't start this fight according to witnesses but you were involved. I tried my best and it seems that a non Degrassi student started the fight. Even though it was a shock to see that it was Craig Manning, he is officially not enrolled since he is on his tour and he will enroll when school starts up again. Until then you are not allowed out of this hotel. You will remain in this structure for the remain of the trip or until I say so. I'm very disappointed in you. James Tiberious has had a talk with and he is under the same punishment. His grandparents have been informed. I have tried contacting your parents but it seems no one has picked up the phone. So I will try again later. Try to get some rest Manny, it looks like you need it." Mrs. H told me.

I nodded. I was about to close the door when she turned back.

"Oh and they aren't going to check your room I made it unnecessary. I said your a student and you are under my supervision, so don't worry about that, but they can check it at anytime ,it is their hotel...so just keep your room clean."

I nodded again and closed the door. My days were lonely. Nights, even lonelier. I would just sit for hours and I seemed to have slowly built up hatred for J.T. Yorke. Random guys from school would knock on my door to purposely be obnoxious.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

I normally ignored them but I just so happen to be passing by the door at that very moment. I'm sure they aren't expecting to have to actually look at my face as they ridicule me. I wasn't to shocked to see Sully at my door. I stood there with the door only open enough to fit like my head ya know.

"So Manny, I hear you're back to your old self again. I'm still so bitter about the fact that I never got a chance." he said smiling and looked as if he was about to walk away. Why shouldn't he get a chance I thought, I mean I really should start living up to my name, my reputation.

"Well come get it then." I said to him. His expression changed.

"Come get what?"

"Come get your chance."

He looked around then stepped really close to me, "Manny are you serious?"

"Don't I look serious." I said then walked away but leaving the door open to completely welcome him in. He looked around once more, I'm assuming to make sure that no one saw him come in my room. I don't blame him one bit. I saw one of the liquor bottles on the table. One had never even been opened. I walked over and took a huge gulp, and then got on the bed. I was on my back but was supporting myself with my elbows. Sully was inside by then. He was standing in front of me.

"I'm yours for the taking." I said plainly and expressionless.

He started taking his shirt off. He wasn't trying to waist any time what so ever.

"Gah damn Manny. I have been wanting to fuck you for awhile now." He said just getting his shirt over his head. He took a condom out of his back pocket and unzipped his pants to put it on. Once it was on he crawled on the bed. I laid all the way back completely.

"Mannuela." He said as he ran his hands up my thighs. His hands were no where near as soft as Craig's were. When he got to my panties he ripped them off with one pull. He spread my legs more so that he could get closer. When he got to the button down shirt I was wearing he ripped it completely open. He was more aggressive than I would have ever imagined. He squeezed my boobs really hard. He came close to my face as if he was going to kiss me but he stopped right as he almost got close to my lips.

"Yea right." He said with a laugh. He kissed my neck instead. He stopped, sat up, and lifted my waist a little then stuck his dick in like I was just some whole not a person. I did nothing, just arched my back a little from the discomfort. He started going in and out with a very fast pace.

"Fuck Manny, we should have done this when we were together." He expressed just thrusting away. I had no response to him. Not even a smile.

"No wonder Craig made such a big deal."

The second he said his name my eyes began to water. I turned my head to the side so that Sully wouldn't see me. Tears fell down on to my pillow. When I brought my hand up to my face to try and wipe some tears away Sully grabbed my hand and pinned it to the bed. He started to go faster and faster and it started to feel more uncomfortable.

"Tell me you like it." he said in a very low almost creepy way. I was a little zoned out and wasn't really listening.

"Tell me you like it." He said again sounding slightly annoyed. He pushed it in really hard and deep I'm assuming 2 get my attention. It hurt.

" Ugh" I groaned looking up at him. I didn't want to but it was my instincts.

"Tell me, you like it." He said in a very dictating voice.

"I like it." I said in a cracky tone of voice. He seemed to be finally finishing. I'm glad cuz this was really starting to become awkward.

"Manny." He panted. He was done. He slowly got off me. I pulled my shirt to cover me a little and sat up.

"That was great." Sully said patting me on the back. He started getting dressed.

J.T. POV

Staying in my room was torture. All there was to do was think. I thought about Manny most of the time and how all of this was my fault. I really wanted to see her. Just to see how she was holding up. I may get in trouble but I don't care. The class will be leaving like in 2 days anyways. I was able to sneak out of my room. I took the stairs to get to her floor so no one saw me. As I headed down the hallway I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I saw Sully, of all people, leaving her room. I didn't let him see me. When he was gone I headed to her room. It was unlocked. When I walked in Manny looked to be like pulling up some shorts that she was putting on. She heard me come in.

"Ugh. Don't you knock?" She said closing up her shirt and turning around.

"Why was Sully leaving your room?" I asked her boldly.

"What?" She asked walking closer to me.

"Manny you're better than that. You don't have to do that."

"Well, that's what I do." Manny went over to the t.v. and got her cigarettes from off the top of it. She lit one and started smoking it then sat on the edge of the bed.

"Manny, what's happen to you?" I asked concerned.

"What are you talking about J.T.?" she said as she got up and walked to the window.

"You're not the same person anymore."

"Oh well" She expressed as she exhaled cigarette smoke. I have always hated seeing her smoke. I wish she wouldn't. I really didn't know how to act around her. I wanted to be there for her. Be her friend.

"Manny," I paused, "Is there, anything, you need, or something?" I asked her.

"No. I don't need anything. Especially from you." She said giving me a cold look. I didn't expect a reaction like that. She turned and headed back towards the view outside the window.

"Manny don't act like that. Look I know things seem pretty bad right now but there is always tomorrow. When we get home-"

"Home, fuck home. I'm not going back." she said looking back my way.

"What do you mean you're not going back?" I asked stunned.

"Just that. I'm not going back. I have nothing to go back to."

"That's not true. What about Emma?" I asked.

"Emma is better off without me. I'm just a burden to her and her family anyways." she spat.

"Well, what about me?" I asked hoping that her answer was something I could bare. She was silent.

"What about you?" She walked really close to me and took a puff of her cigarette, "I fucking hate you." She expressed as she exhaled the smoke in my face. She looked at me for a second then went back to the window and left me standing there. Jesus. I knew she was probably mad at me but hate me. I wasn't ready for that. All there was left to do was leave. Before I walked out I took another look at her knowing that I would probably never see her again. I looked and then walked out making sure the door was shut.

MANNY POV

I almost regret saying what I said to J.T. I don't hate him. I just hate what I did with him. I wish he didn't see Sully leaving here. I wish a lot of things. I finished my cigarette. My mind was blank. It was true. All this time before .I thought I was a stupid worthless whore. I was. I really was a slut. Ever since grade 9.When I first decided to change my look. I became a slut. That's all I would ever be worth to the world. I knew I couldn't change. The only guy that I truly ever cared for, loved, trusted, told me the truth. The truth I was finally able to accept it.

I sat down on the couch.

"Why? Fuck you Craig. Why do I still love you?" I began to cry. Tears were running down my cheeks as I curled up in a ball and began to cry so hard my throat began to burn. My body began shaking. "Why? Why? Why am I so fucked up?" Why does the world hate me. All I ever wanted to do was to better myself. yet every time I tried to change and be normal I always fuck up and do something stupid. I began to cry even louder ."God! Just kill me already! Why don't you? Do you want your laugh? Huh? Is that what you want!"

I stood up and began to scream into my pillow. When I screamed it gave me this suffocation high. I opened my mouth but no air went to it .I felt like I was going to die. But then I easily picked up my head and gasped for air. The high was gone. I did this about five or six more times. Until I became numb. I felt nothing. Nothing at all. My eyes were gooeyish .I stood up. As I began to walk towards the bathroom I looked around. I saw that Craig did indeed leave his drugs on the floor. Hurray I immediately thought. I needed something to help escape this insanity. Bending down to get the little baggie I noticed that there was actually quite a bit left. I grabbed the hand mirror from the bathroom drawer, along with the blade, and went over to the table. The crystal had to be cut super fine. I cut and cut. Almost obsessively for about 5-10 minutes. The crystal was perfect. Like powder. I made 3 really fat lines. No straw was around so I had to practically put my face flat against the table. Shit, the crystal felt incredible burning its way through my nasal passage up to my brain. So strong, so strong. The drip wasn't bad. Actually the drip has always been my favorite part. It was so strong I felt it instantly. I sat back in my chair. I felt something wet on my lip. A runny nose more than likely. I reached my hand up to wipe it away but when I drew it back I noticed that there was blood on my hands. My nose was bleeding.

"Shit" I said looking at it. I wiped my nose clean with my shirt.

"I'm so fucking pathetic." I continued looking at the shirt. What am I gonna do. I have no money and the class leaves in 2 days. What the fuck am I gonna do. My boyfriend left me, I have no fuckin family, I thought. I was really started to feel super high. My life is so fucked up and no one loves me. There really is no reason to go on living. I noticed the blade just lying on the table. I started getting teary eyed. Not really crying just my eyes were really watery. I wanted to do a couple more lines. I snorted 2 more lines. Just as fat as the first 3. Some tears fell down. I was about to end my life. There was nothing left. I laid my arm on the table. Rolling up my sleeve exposed the scars that were there from previous times. Although I have cut myself plenty times before, for some reason I was scared this time. I have no idea why. I placed the blade against my skin. I didn't push it in right away. I just sat there. For some reason I couldn't bare to look. I turned my head to the side and closed my eyes. I pushed the blade in and dragged it across my skin.

"Ugh" I hissed as I squinted my eyes from the pain. It hurt like a bitch. That was the deepest that I have ever cut. I finally turned my head back and took a look at my arm. It was bleeding but I didn't cut deep enough.

"Fuck" I slightly yelled, "I'm so stupid, I can't even kill myself right".

I got up and walked over to the bed to have a seat. I sat next to the lamp so I could have better lighting. I was gonna try this one more time. I placed my arm down. As I brought the blade to my arm I noticed Luke's card. I picked up the card to get a better look at it with one hand as I dried my tears with the other. That was so immature for me to freak out like that. Prostitution can't be that bad. Seeing how big of a slut I am and how I'm gonna have sex anyway, I might as well get paid for it. I wish I had gotten paid all those times before, I thought. I mean I'm sure I could make so much money. I picked up my cell phone. I had no idea what I was doing. A minute ago I was trying to kill myself now I want to be a prostitute. Shit I'm so fucked up, I thought, Hopefully he wont notice. I dialed his number. I was feeling a little anxious. He answered on the 2nd ring.

"Hello" he said.

"Hi. Luke, this is Manny." I said. I was pretty confident that I didn't sound as high as I really was.

"And?" He said like he could care less. I was really starting to feel dumb.

"Yea, umm. I'm sorry for the way I overreacted the other night. Really. That was childish and stupid."

He didn't say anything.

"Well… don't be sorry." He responded. I'm surprised he didn't hang up on me. "Your reaction was natural. I should have prepared you."

"I still shouldn't have freaked out." I continued.

"Don't worry about it. No harm done."

It was silent again.

"So Manny, what's going on with you? You find a job yet?" He said as if nothing happened. It's cool that he can just forget things easy as that.

"No. That's actually what I'm calling about. Besides the apology. I was hoping maybe you could tell me more about, ya know, the business."

"Sure. We should have dinner or something. Cool?"

"O.K."

"Well uh, 8:30 good for you?"

"Yea."

"I'll pick you up. You still at the Hilton?"

"Yea."

"Well see you then."

"Bye. Oh and Luke." I said last minute hoping that he wouldn't hang up.

"Yes?" he answered.

"Thanks."

"No problem Angel." He concluded and then hung up.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------As I walked in my room I was mad as hell and just wanted to get high so I could try and foregt this ridiculous bullshit. Everyone was there.

"You were gone awhile, where's Manny?" Jimmy asked.

"Oh yea., Jimmy told me you guys saw her. How is she?" Marco asked as happy as he could be.

"Fuck Manny." I spat, "Is Kate around?" I asked. They all were shocked to hear mespeak that way about her.

"Uh no man. I haven't seen her." Jimmy answered. I walked into my bedroom, closed the door and dialed Kate.

"Craig, hi." Kate answered in the happy sarcastic mood that she always seemed to be in.

"Kate, I need to see you."

"Awww." Kate laughed. She canbe so annoying.

"Kate,"

"I would love to see you but I'm in San Fran right now."

"Great. Just fuckin perfect. I said anxiously. Kate heard the frustration in my voice.

"Miss me that much?" Kate sarcastically said.

"Hell no. I just need to get high."

"I know a guy who has a lab. You think you could go there?" She asked me.

"Yea."

Kate gave me his number and told me to make sure that I tell him that I got the number from her or else he wouldn't deal to me. I called him. He asked for the amount I wanted and he gave me the price. I left room and was my way.

"We have a show tonight." Ellie yelled as the door was slamming. I took a cab to his house. wasn't that far. The guy was nice and gave me a little extra if I said I would do business with him again. I caught a cab and got off at a random place. There was an alley. I walked in, took out my bag of cryst and snorted a good amount. It was killer. Incredible high. I left the alley and started walking. Where, I don't know. All I could think about was Manny and how fucked up everything was. I'm as sad as I am angry. I lover her so much. What a slut. She cant even keep her legs closed. I just don't understand. I mean she had to have felt my love for her. How could she have let another guy fuck her? I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm suppose to be here living my dream but it's the last place I want to be. Everything is all fucked up because of that bitch. My cell phone started ringing. It was Marco. I put the phone on silent. I took a seat on the side of a building and observed the rest of the world from a high ass point of view. Everybody seemed to be rushing. It was weird. I sat at this spot for awhile. It was time to get up when people started throwing money at me. I walked more. For hours, every hour darting around a corner to get another bump. The show I had tonight was long over. Oh well, who gives a shit. I sure as fuck don't. I decided to go ahead and go home. When I walked in, "Whoa". All I have to say is, if looks could kill.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was about 8:20. I had actually gotten dressed rather quickly. I was simple but sexy, wearing very low, very tight, grey pants and a man type vest that was made to fit a girl. It showed a lot of cleave. I wore stilettos with it. I had completely forgotten that I was not to leave this room. I peaked my head out the door, looking right then left, no one was in the hallway. I went all the way down the hall to take the stairs instead of the elevators. When I got to the stairs that led to the lobby, I went out the employees only exit. I was outside in the back of the hotel. I walked around to the front. Luke's car was there as expected. He saw me walking up to his car. My pace started off fast but I slowed down. I got a little nervous. I didn't know what to say or how to act. Things were obviously going to be awkward between us. When I reached for the door handle the door wouldn't open. He had to unlock it. He did and I got in.

"Good evening." Luke said in the mature, sexy, sly tone that he always seemed to speak in, "You look nice."

"Thanks so do you." I responded nervously. I tried to think of something else to say but my mind was completely blank. Luke did a lot of smiling and a lot of unexplainable looks at me. I didn't know how to react. I didn't know if he was just being his mysterious self or if he was laughing at me. We had been driving silently for like 10 minutes. I felt like I had to say something.

"Luke I-" I began.

"Manny," he interrupted as he turned his head to face me, "Let's, just, pretend that the other night never happened. O.k." He said reassuringly.

I sighed a happy sigh. A sigh of relief, "O.k." I smiled.

"Great." He smiled. "So, how you been since the last time I saw you. Honestly, sweetie?"

"Horrible. My boyfriend dropped me. Hard, on my ass." I expressed.

"He broke up with you? Well what did you do?" Luke asked.

"I was a horrible girlfriend. He had every right to." I responded in a sad tone. I didn't realize how depressing I sounded.

"Baby forget him. I'll teach how to get any guy you want with just one look." He smiled and winked at me. I gave a fake smile back. The whole forget him thing hit me the wrong way I guess. We continued with small talk. We were at the restaurant before I knew it. He chose to go through the valet. The valet driver opened my door for me.

"Thanks." I told him.

He walked around to the drivers side and took Luke's keys. In return he gave Luke the ticket. Luke walked over to me and grabbed my hand. We proceeded into the restaurant.

"You want a table or a booth?" He asked me looking around.

"Ummm," I smiled, "A booth"

"O.k."

The hostess came over to us.

"Hello. How you are you this evening?"

"Fine and yourself?" Luke responded.

"I'm fine thank you. Sir would you like a booth or a table?"

"Booth please."

"Smoking or non?"

"Smoking."

"O.k. right this way." The hostess concluded. She led us to our seats.

"Thanks."

"Someone will be right with you." She said then walked away.

Luke put out his hand for me to sit down first. I did. Instead of sitting across from me he sat next to me. That was different. He rested his arm on the seat. It wasn't around me it was just behind me and I was sitting there. I leaned back for better comfort. The waiter came over.

"Can I start you guys off with anything to drink?" He asked.

"Manny," Luke said looking at me to tell the waiter what I wanted. I just kind of smiled stupidly. I was still so nervous, I don't know why. Luke had a small giggle.

"Yes. Let me get an apple martini for her and a vodka cranberry." Luke ordered.

"I'll have that out in a moment."

The waiter walked away.

"What if I don't like apple martinis?" I playfully said.

"No what if's needed. I know you do." He winked and made a click noise with his mouth. I really did like apple martinis. How he knew, I have no idea. The waiter brought us our drinks. I wanted to loosen up a little so I drank like half of it right away.

"Take it easy." Luke said looking at me.

I smiled, "It's o.k. I can handle it." I took my drink and drank the rest of it.

"You want another?" He asked already motioning for a waiter.

"Please."

"Let me get another apple martini." Luke ordered.

The waiter brought it over right away and also took our order. I got a salad. I was starving and should've gotten more but I didn't want to seem like a cow. Luke had fish. The wait wasn't long. Of course Luke ordered more drinks. I was already buzzin after the first 2, but I couldn't come off as a light weight. The bartender was making them strong. They are suppose to be a really pretty bright green color but they were almost completely clear. I swear he was using like 97 vodka and 3 apple mix. I ate about half my salad. Luke ate all of his meal. I wanted a cigarette. As much as I hated I started to get a little giggly. When I tried to light my cig I wasn't very successful.

"Why don't you let me get that." Luke said as he took my lighter and lit for me.

"Thank you, Luke." I said with a lot of emphasis on Luke.

"No prob."

He had a cigarette as well.

I exhaled smoke. "What do you wanna do now?"

"You wanna go to my apartment?"

"Yea." I smiled.

After paying the check, Luke got up and I followed. I felt the liquor big time when I stood up.

"Have a good night" The hostess said to us as we were walking out the door. We went outside and waited for the valet driver to bring the car around. He did and we were on our way. Luke lived pretty close to the restaurant. We were there almost instantly it seems. While going inside I noticed there was no doorman this time. On the way up we didn't say anything. Luke opened the door and his apartment looked so different. I guess because there wasn't 100 people inside.

"Wow. Your apartment is amazing." I said looking around.

"Thanks." Luke said as he threw his keys on the table. My walking around led me to his bar. Luke noticed.

"Help yourself…I'm gonna have some." He said with a smile. His beautiful smile. I did help myself. I helped myself plenty and 30 minutes later I was so so so drunk. Luke did a lot of drinking but I don't think he was nearly as drunk as I was. Luke walked into his bedroom but stopped to look back at me as if he wanted me to follow. I stumbled slightly to get there. His room was perfect. The bed was huge, one of the wall's was a big mirror, he had a bowl full of condoms on his dresser, just so many peculiar things. He went and sat on the bed. I sat in a chair with my, umm, I don't even know what number drink it was.

"That's uh, a nice big bed ya got there." I said doing the whole nod/ blinking thing that drunk people do at some point of their intoxication.

"Yea. I like a big bed." He answered.

"I'm sure…So, Luke, we never talked about me being a, a, a hoe." I smirked. I sat all the way back in the chair.

"Well, you know Manny I don't know." He said in a puzzling way.

"You don't know what?"

"I don't know if you could handle it, if you have what it takes. And," He had a small laugh, "We both know that you're nowhere near sexy enough."

I was insulted. Is he serious?

"Ugh" My eyes got wide.

"Don't get offended. You see Manny, a great prostitute is a girl that could stop a man dead in his tracks with just one look. A girl who can make a guy want to do anything, max out his credit card just to have her, pay any price and like I said, you're not sexy enough. Simple as that." He said just as calm as if what he said wasn't a downer.

"Ugh, please. I'm like," I paused trying to think of something to say, "The sex queen. I could out-fuck any bitch." I continued, getting a little ghetto. The alcohol does that to me sometimes.

Luke had a laugh. Not the "You're stupid" kind of laugh but the "O.k. prove it" Kind of laugh.

"You can?" He asked.

"Most, defiantly." I said with so much confidence. More like liquid confidence.

"Well then. Come show me what ya got." Luke said inviting me to his bed. I smiled.

I downed the rest of my drink then stood up out of my chair. I walked over to the bowl of condoms, picked up one, and walked over to him. He was still sitting. I quickly took off my clothes only leaving my bra on. I unbuttoned his pants and pulled them down a little. He sat up so I could. His dick was hard and a pretty nice size. He had no hair. Completely shaved which I thought was sexy as hell. I got on my knees and ripped the condom package opened with my teeth. I put the condom in my mouth and proceeded to put the condom on his dick. I rolled it all the way down with my tongue. He took his shirt off. I pushed him down and climbed on top of him sitting right on his dick. I began to grind back in forth, occasionally leaning down to kiss his chest and neck and such. He was squeezing my ass and thighs but moved up to my boobs. He squeezed the shit out of them. My hair was in my face, so when I through it back I got a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Shit, I had no idea how sexy I was. Like I looked so good fucking this guy. Wow. I would look at Luke but I couldn't help but look at myself. I was just riding him. I stopped looking because I got an obvious distraction. It started to feel really good. Amazing. He look to be enjoying it to.

"Manny," Luke began, "I got to give it up girl, you're good."

"I know." I breathed lustfully.

Luke rolled me over so that he was on top. He started going really fast which felt fantastic. He was breathing rapidly and I was making the typical bimbo, slutty sex noises. I couldn't help it. Shit, I had the best orgasm. Like whoa. It felt so good that for a second I thought that I was going to have to make him stop. He came as well. He got off and laid down next to me. He reached over me to get us both some cigarettes. Cigarettes after sex, how cliché. We were facing each other. I leaned my head on my fist.

"So, you like?" I smiled. He laughed.

"I like." Luke nodded.

"Ha. Told you." I said exhaling smoke in his face in a playful way.. I was still very drunk and was about to drop any minute. I kind of laid my head down. I guess Luke assumed that I passed out. He took the cig out of my hand and covered me up. What a kind gesture. I was knocked out soon after. I slept for a while. When I awoke I was in bed alone. I wondered if he had left. I got up and put my clothes on. I couldn't find my panties though. Oh well. I use to go to panty-less all the time. When I walked outside his bedroom I smelled something cooking. I walked in the kitchen.

"Good morning." Luke said in some pajama pants and a tank. His hair was wet. I'm guessing he had just gotten out of the shower recently.

"Morning." I responded.

"Are you hungry?" He asked turning around with spatula in hand.

"Yes, I am."

"Have a seat." He told me. I did. The table was already set. Luke came over and took my plate. When he brought it over there was French toast and half a grapefruit on it. There was actually a sprig of mint on there as garnish. Wow, how restaurant-ish.

"This looks great. Thank you."

He sat down at the table right across form me without any.

"You're not having any?" I asked.

"Nah. I'm not hungry."

Wow I guess he made this just for me. I started eating. It was weird that he was just watching me eat.

"Do you want some juice?"

"Yes, please."

He got up to bring me juice. He bought it in a wine glass. That was different. He handed it to me.

"Thank you."

"Manny we should probably talk seriously, o.k." He said sitting back down.

I put my fork down. I was pretty much done anyway.

"O.k."

"What exactly are your plans?"

His question was so straight forward.

"I guess , to work for you." I said sounding very unsure.

"Manny there is no guessing in this. You have to be absolutely sure this is what you want to do. Maybe you should think about it a little longer."

He got up and was about to walk away. I stopped him by touching his arm.

"No." I responded making eye contact, "I don't have to. I'm sure."

I think I'm sure anyways.

"O.k. well, you'll stay here. We should probably go and get your stuff A.S.A.P."

"You're right." I agreed.

"I'll be back out in a minute. I'm going to change then we will leave." he went into his bedroom. I was still a little sleepy. Luke came out soon as expected.

"Are you ready to go?" He asked grabbing his sun glasses. I nodded. We headed downstairs. No doorman again. It was like late afternoon and a beautiful day. Bright and sunny. We headed to my hotel. We were there in about 20 minutes. He parked.

"Do you want me to go up with you?" Luke asked.

"No. I don't want to draw any attention to myself." I answered. I took off my seatbelt.

"O.k. well I'll be here waiting."

"O.k."

I got out and walked around the back again to the employee entrance. No one saw me go in. I started going up the stairs to the 6th floor. It started off o.k. but by the time I got to like the 3rd floor it wasn't so easy. Gah, I'd never realized how out of shape I was before. It almost killed me but I made it. There were some people in the hallway but they weren't Degrassi people. I got to my room unnoticed. My room was a little messy. There was shit everywhere. I didn't want to be up there long I just threw everything I had in a bag. Even the clothes that Craig left there. I don't know why, I just wanted them. I went over to the table and got all of my jewelry and noticed the crystal. I scooped that up in the little baggie and continued with what I was doing. The whole thing took like 10-15 minutes. I looked around to make sure that I had everything. I did. All of my stuff was so heavy and I wasn't about to haul all that shit downstairs. If people see me they see me. I decided to take the elevator. I left my room key in the key slot. The elevator took forever to come but it finally did. When I got to the lobby I hesitated. I looked around to make sure no one I knew was down there. I didn't see anybody. I continued on. A bellboy was nice enough to help me with my stuff. Thank God. He carried it out to Luke's car.

"Thanks a lot." I said to him.

"No problem. Just doing my job ma'am."

Luke saw us coming his way and got out to open the trunk. The bellboy placed the things inside.

"Is that all?" He asked.

"Yes."

Luke went back to get in the car. The bellboy closed the trunk and went to open my door for me. As I was walking that way I noticed J.T. in the lobby. I stopped walking. He was just staring at me and I stared back. I felt like running up to him hugging him. He was always such a good friend to me.

The bellboy cleared his throat loudly, "Ma'am". It got my attention.

"Oh sorry." I took one more look at J.T. then got in the car.

"That didn't take long." Luke said to me as he put his car in drive. I smiled. I didn't know what else to do. What I was feeling was just a little overwhelming. There was no turning back. I was on my own now. Can I really do this, I thought. We were back at his apartment shortly. Luke carried all of my stuff up for me. He put them in his bedroom. I guess I will be sleeping with him.

"I have a few errands to run. Will you be o.k.?" Luke asked.

"Yea. Thanks again Luke, for everything." I thanked.

"My pleasure. Do you need anything?"

"No thank you."

"O.k. well see you later."

"Bye."

Luke then left. I was alone. I was going to unpack my stuff but I didn't know where to put it so I decided not to. It was so awkward here. Completely silent. I wasn't really bored. I just didn't know what to do. I wonder how long Luke is going to be gone. I walked into the living room and had a seat in this huge comfortable looking chair. When I sat down it like swallowed me. My mind was racing. I guess that was a good thing, to keep myself distracted from one of the bigger issues. I couldn't help it. I started thinking about Craig. I was still in such disbelief that the whole thing happened. I wonder if he would ever even talk to me again. It was a little depressing knowing that we could possibly never talk again and that some of his last words to me was calling me horrible names. I almost started crying. I could feel it erupting inside me. I didn't want to cry. Crying never solves anything. I'm all cried out. I laid my head back and closed my eyes. I didn't intend on going to sleep but I did.

"Manny." Luke said with his hand on my hip, "Manny, wake up." He continued. I turned to look at him.

"Had yourself a nap?" He asked.

"Yea, sorry." I said as I sat up a little more.

"No, its o.k. Don't be sorry." He sat on the arm of the chair.

"You up for a club tonight?" He asked.

"Yea. But, I don't have any I.D."

"Don't worry about that. You will be with me." He smiled, tapped my thigh and got up.

"What kind of club is it? Like what kind of people will be there?" I asked him. I so was not in the mood for any hatin bitches.

"Trust me. You'll like it." He answered.

"When are you leaving?" I asked him. He was eating olives.

"As soon as you're ready" He said smiling. I laughed.

"O.k. I'll try to hurry" I said getting up and heading to his bedroom.

"Take your time."

I went in there and my bags were no longer on the floor. I guess Luke heard the silence.

"Oh I put your stuff in the closet and some in the drawers." He yelled.

"Thank you." I responded. That was nice of him. I hope he didn't see the crystal. I had no idea what I was going to wear. Everything I had looked so eww. I just went with a pink halter top with a short ripped skirt and some cute matching pink high heels. Once that was taken care of I went and took a quick shower. I didn't want to take a long time so I skipped over things that I would usually do but I couldn't skip on my hair. I wanted it in a straight ponytail. The blow-drying took forever as expected but it was worth it. I took one more look in the mirror and stepped out. Luke was on the phone.

"Let me call you back." He said to the person on the phone.

"Manny, you are so consistent."

I blushed, "Thank you. You are as well."

"I have to be." He said, "You ready."

I nodded. He walked over to the door and held it open for me. We headed towards the elevator and went down. His car was parked close. Like the gentleman he is, Luke opened the door for me.

"Thank you." I said to him. I find myself saying thank you a lot around him.

"No need to thank me."

We were on our way to the club. We didn't say much. When we got there we parked down the street from the club and had to walk. The name of the club was called Synn. Luke grabbed my hand.

"Synn. That's an interesting name for a club." I commented.

"I agree." Luke responded. We continued walking up until we got to the entrance. There was a line but me and Luke went right up to the door.

"Delio, what's up?" The doorman said to him as he unlocked the velvet rope.

"Nothing so far, how is it in there?"

"Like always."

"Great. Well uh, see ya inside." Luke concluded and we walked in.

"Delio?" I questioned.

"My last name." He answered.

"Ohhhh." I nodded. The club was huge. There were so many people. Luke held my hand tightly as he leaded the way to the bar through all the people. We made it there.

"Let me get two vodka tonics." Luke said loudly to the bartender. The bartender made them right away.

"Thanks." Luke told him. He handed one of the drinks to me. I took a sip of it and of course it was pretty strong. When I went to take another Luke tilted the cup so that I would drink it all.

"You want another one?" Luke asked me already getting the bartenders attention.

"Maybe later." I suggested.

Luke turned and looked at me, "I insist." He turned back to the bartender, "Let me get another one."

The bartender gave him the drink.

"Thanks." Luke thanked him. He reached inside his pocket and pulled out a little pill and gave it to me.

"What is it?" I asked him. I didn't recognize it at all.

"Here" He began completely ignoring my question, "Take it with this drink."

He handed me the drink. I was a little hesitant but I didn't want to seem like a baby so I took it. I only drank enough to swallow the pill and brought the drink back down.

"Ah-ah. Drink it all." Luke said slightly shaking his finger at me. I finished it.

"Good girl. C'mon." Luke grabbed my hand and we headed towards a table. There were tons of people there. Hopefully they wont try the bullshit that last guy did.

"You guys I want you to meet Manny." Luke said putting me in front of him.

I smiled a sweet smile, "Hello." Most of them just nodded or put up their hand but a couple of them said hi. Girls and guys. Someone got up so that me and Luke could sit down in the circular booth. The guy that got up went first, then me, and Luke sat on the outside. It was a little uncomfortable but I didn't mind. I felt a tiny, like microscopic buzz from the drinks, but nothing to big. They all started engaging in various conversations. Some sounded interesting and some I couldn't even begin to follow. Luke turned my way every now and then to ask me if I was o.k. I did start to feel a little giggly and as if I needed to say something so I started commenting on some of the statements being made. My shyness is completely gone now. I scooted really close to Luke. He noticed. He turned to look at me and put his hand on my thigh under the table.

"How you feelin?" He asked in my ear.

"Faaaaaaabulous" I expressed in a very happy tone.

He leaned down once more to whisper something again "Good" He whispered biting my earlobe before he pulled away. The guy sitting in the other side of me got my attention.

"Manny you from here?" He asked. He was cute. He had kind of a shady look though.

"No, I'm from Canada." I answered. I could barely hear him.

"Why are you here?" He asked getting just a little bit closer so that I could hear him. For some reason I panicked. I didn't know how to answer him. The truth just seemed so, so, so like something I don't need to share with a lot of people.

"Fuck!" I said changing the subject, "I love this song."

When I sat up a little to get ready to stand I felt the pill or the drink or whatever it was like whoa. I sat back down. I felt amazing. Not to mention like super sexy. I felt like none of those hoes had shit on me. Bow down bitches.

"You alright?" The guy asked me with a smile. I smiled back. Turning his direction, I put one leg on the other side of him which put me in the position of straddling him.

I leaned down to his ear, "Oh yea."

I wasn't gonna stay there I just needed to get by. I brought my other leg to the other side and was now over him. I started dancing in front of him. I didn't care who was watching. He seemed to have been enjoying it. I reached my hands out to grab his so he could dance with me. He didn't do much dancing. It was more groping. I kind of got into it and started kissing him. He turned me around so that my back was to him and I instantly made eye contact with Luke back at the table. I had trouble reading his expression. He was just looking at me while smoking a cig. For some reason I felt like I needed to stop what I was doing. As if he wouldn't approve. I pulled away from the guy and went to go sit back down. I felt like a kid in trouble or something. Luke didn't say anything at first.

"Cigarette?" Luke offered handing me one. I accepted.

"Uh yea. Thanks."

He took out his lighter and lit it for me. After he looked towards the direction of his friends. I finished my cigarette. He still had not talked to me. Like 15 minutes went by and he still had not spoken a word to me. He was just laughing and talking with his friends. The feeling of stupidity was overwhelming. And the "whatever it was" started kicking in even more.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom." I said to Luke but he didn't pay me any attention. I got up and headed towards the bathroom. I managed to make it there without falling or tripping over something. Surprisingly there weren't that many girls in there. I went in an empty stall and leaned against the wall. I tried to fight it but I couldn't help it. I felt so giggly. I started laughing for no apparent reason. I was sliding down the wall about to drop at any second. I heard someone come in. Who ever it was came into the stall that I was in. It was Luke. He had a smile.

"What are you doing in here?" He laughed as he helped me back up.

"Umm, I, don't know actually."

He opened the door and both of us left the stall.

"You think your about ready to go?" Luke asked. I nodded. We headed out of the bathroom and back over to the table where his friends were.

"I'll see you guys later." Luke told them all.

"Later man." one of the guys said. It was the guy I was dancing with. He waved bye to me. I smiled. There weren't very many people outside when we walked outside the club. It was a little eerie. Luke noticed me looking around.

"You scared?" Luke asked me as he got his keys out to open my door.

I smirked, "Yes."

"Well don't be." he said in a reassuringly way. I got in. As did he. We went back to his apartment. I still was very drunk or whatever. Luke had to help me get out of the car.

"Thank you." I said as I got out.

"No problem sexy." He shut the door and we headed to his apartment. "You looked so hot tonight dancing like that."

Wow. I thought that he thought it was gross or something.

"You thought so? I thought you were grossed out?"

"Not at all."

We made it up the elevator. When we walked inside there was this really pretty girl inside. She was tall and skinny. Had long straight hair. She had really sad eyes though. She was sitting but stood up when we walked inside. She gave us a fake smile. Not one of those bitchy smiles that you give someone when you are mad. It seemed as if she was like sad about something or worn out but forced out a smile anyway.

"Luke, hi." Her soft voice said.

"Cherish." Luke said in monotone. I can't believe her name is Cherish. That's so awesome. Luke locked the door.

"Hi. I'm Manny." I said sounding very silly and happy-headed. She gave another half smile.

"Manny why don't you go to my room." Luke said not looking at me but at Cherish.

"O.k." I turned to Cherish, "It was nice meeting you Cherish."

"Same." She responded. I went to his bedroom and started changing. I'm assuming that girl was a prostitute, I thought to myself. She was so pretty. I wonder if they all look like that. I could never compete with them. When I walked in I left the door cracked. I could hear Luke saying something but I couldn't make it out. I went over to peek out the door. Cherish was on her knees on the ground whimpering and Luke was walking around her. I wonder how she got down there. I would hope Luke didn't push her down there. Luke then threw money at her. I opened the door a little more and it squeaked. Both Luke and Cherish noticed. They both looked at me. I felt so dumb. Luke came over to me.

"You're tired." Luke said. I didn't know if he was asking me or telling me. I was anyways though.

"Yea." I responded.

"Well goodnight sweetie." Luke said then leaned down to kiss me on the cheek goodnight.

"Goodnight."

He left and shut the door completely. I walked over to his bed and got in. I didn't know what to think, so, I didn't. I just went to sleep.

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Over the last 2 and a half weeks me and the band were on some serious rocky terms. Most of it, o.k. all of it was my fault. Ellie and Marco stayed up each others asses and every now and then me and Jimmy would have a drink together. I became pretty good with the lab guy that Kate told me about and that led to getting high more often. I missed shows all the time and when we would go to shows sometimes we would get boo-ed because of my shitty vocals. I would forget lyrics and everything. An absolute disgrace. Today we have some lame press conference and James is here drilling us on what to say. I'm beginning to hate this.

"You guys are really fucking up. I'm this close to dropping you." James expressed angrily, "And you," James spoke to me. I turned my head away from him.

"Hey, wise ass, listen up. I've had just about enough of your shit." He continued.

"Yea whatever. Can we hurry this up so we can get this over with." I responded trying to move along. Ellie and Marco were sitting like robots not knowing what to say and Jimmy was on the phone.

"Yea whatever just don't fuck up." James said and left the room. There was a limo waiting outside. I hated limos. None of us really said anything to each other on the way there. We never talked about anything but we always miraculously became all smiles and hugs in front of all the spectators. I have never felt more like a phony. As soon as that was over we all went our separate ways as usual. We had a show the next day so we couldn't stay out long. I actually wanted to make this one so I wasn't gonna do anything that would take up too much time. I thought that maybe I would go chill with Sam then go back. Sam was always home. He never left the house it seems. But that was cool. When I got there he had a few new people there that I had never met. Mike and Jerry. They were nice. Sam was finishing up a fresh batch right as I was walking in. that was great. Since he had just made it he wasn't gonna charge me. He gave me some free which is always welcomed. We all did some and engaged in one of those supercharged energized conversations. The ones when you fidget the whole time and talk about the most boring things for hours only you're interested. We spoke of religion, politics, girls, everything. On crystal sometimes time goes by so fast. Hours felt like minutes. I didn't even realize that the sun had gone down.

"I have to feed the dog." Sam spoke, "I haven't fed him since like 5:00 and it's," he looked at his watch, "Almost 10:00."

I couldn't believe it.

"What! 10:00!" I shouted. I left without even saying goodbye. I knew James and everyone would be furious with me. I got to the apartment around 10:20. I could hear James yelling before I even walked in. I went and it was like they all wanted kill me.

"James, I'm so sorry." I tried to explain.

"I don't want to hear it. I'm done. I just got done telling your band mates that you guys were finished. I'm dropping you guys from the label." When James said this it was like the breaking of all things glass.

'Ah James, come on man. You gotta give me one more chance." I begged. I looked over at Ellie. She was crying.

"You had your chance pal." James said. He went for the door but stopped to say, "Kate will be getting in touch with about your payment." then left.

I felt horrible. I was responsible for ruining everything for my friends. I turned to look at Jimmy.

"Jimmy I-" I began.

"Save it." Jimmy said with hurt eyes, "Thanks a lot." he went back to his bedroom. I was there with Ellie and Marco. Marco had nothing to say and went on to do what he was going to do. Ellie walked up to me. She looked horrible.

"Loser." She said then walked away. I feel horrible.

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The last 3 weeks Luke and I basically went to parties and clubs every night. We got along fine. I met more of his friends. They all seemed nice. I saw Cherish every now and then and we would talk. She's a very nice girl. I thought about Craig sometimes but I normally drank to get my mind off of him. I do miss him a lot though. I always wonder how he is. I was out on the balcony watching the sunset like I did everyday. I loved it. Luke came out.

"I have lived here all my life and I have never gotten over how beautiful the sunset is." He said standing next to me.

"Oh I know it's gorgeous."

We both stood there for a couple minutes longer.

"Come inside. I have something for you."

I followed him in. We went into the living room. There was a white tube dress and shoes to match. Like porn star shoes.

"Are, those for me?" I asked him. I knew the answer. Luke was sitting on the arm of his sofa.

"Yes. Do you like it?"

"Yea, I umm, defiantly don't own anything like that." I said standing there.

"Great. I was hoping that you would. You will look great in it tonight." He said getting up and picking the dress up to look at it.

"What's happening tonight?" I asked curiously.

"You will be with your first client tonight." He said looking really happy. Like there was something special about that. I really didn't think he was actually gonna make me do it. It hasn't even been mentioned.

"What?" I asked him. I didn't know what else to say.

"Is there a problem?" He asked going from seeming happy to being really serious. I didn't answer right away. He walked closer to me.

"No. I just…never mind." I said giving him a fake smile.

"Good." Luke said.

"What time?" I asked.

"11:00"

I looked at the clock. It's like 7:45. That's like 3 hours away. Shit.

"O.k." I responded. Luke must have noticed how my attitude changed. He walked over and put his arm around me.

"Don't worry Manny. I know you will do fine." He said trying to sound reassuring. I had no response. He patted my back and then walked away. I went to sit down. I tried to think of other things. I told myself that prostitution is sexy and that it takes a real woman to be able to do something like that. The time was going by so quickly. When I was in school or doing something I wasn't to jazzed about the time would go by forever slow but now things are moving right along. Next thing I knew it was 9:30 and Luke was telling me to get ready. I went to take a shower. In the shower I thought of things that I could say to maybe get out of it but I stopped myself. I just needed to go ahead and deal with it. My shower was quick. I put on a white thong. All of this white was so foreign. I was so used to wearing black most of the time. I walked out to

grab a t-shirt to put on while I did my hair. I blew it straight and parted it directly down the middle. For make-up I had black eyeliner and shadow and some gloss. No jewelry. Accept earrings of course. I went back out to get dressed. Luke was standing out there that time. He didn't say anything. I grabbed the dress and put it on. It was a little tough. It was like 3 sizes to small. So tight and ever so short. The shoes were so tall. I almost fell when I put them on. I looked in the mirror and never in my life have I looked more like a skank. I mean my God. My ass cheeks were practically hanging out. I couldn't believe it. Luke came up behind me.

"Damn. You look great." He said smiling.

"Are you sure? I mean, you don't think it's a little much." I said turning to look at him.

"No it's perfect."

Of course he said that. It was 10:30. Me and Luke walked to the front room. I was speechless. I was just so scared. Luke reached inside his pocket.

"Here's the address." He said handing me a piece of paper.

"Oh my God. You're not coming?" I asked shocked.

"No." he said as if I was suppose to know that.

"Ugh. Luke" I really couldn't believe he was gonna send me alone.

"Manny c'mon now. Don't baby out on me alright. You're a big girl. You don't need me." He said to me sounding very inconsiderate. I looked down in disbelief.

He held my chin up. "You'll be fine. O.k. Honey."

I sighed. "O.k."

He kissed my forehead. "I'll be here when you get back and here is some money for a cab."

I took it and walked out the door.

"See you later." He said.

"Bye"

"Bye" I said and then he closed the door. I headed to the elevator and didn't have to wait. I went down and stood outside the building. I got a cab immediately. I'm not surprised considering what I was wearing.

"Could you take me here please." I said to the driver and showed him the card. He took off. The 20 minute ride seemed like a 5 minute ride.

"Thank you." I told the driver and handed him the money then got out. I was at a hotel. I was so scared. My heart was beating so fast. I want so badly just to get another cab and just leave. I walked inside and of course people looked at me. I'm sure it was obvious what I was doing there but that was the least of my worries. I was about to go have sex with a man I didn't even know. I looked at the card in the room I was to go to was on the 3rd floor. Room 301. I took the elevator and got there quickly. His room was at the very end of the hall. I could see it from where I was standing. I slowly started walking that way. No words could explain the way I feel. I raised my hand up to the door but hesitated before I knocked.

"You can do this." I told myself, then knocked.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

I heard someone coming to the door. It opened. I couldn't believe who it was.

"Well, well." The man said. It was that asshole that grabbed my ass at the party. I can't believe Luke would send me here knowing that this guy would be here. He stood there and stared at me. I was frozen.

"Come in sweetheart." He said as he moved so I could walk in. I walked in not knowing what to expect. He was acting as if we had never met kind of. He closed the door and walked over to the counter.

"You want a drink?" He asked me casually.

"No." I plainly said.

"Well I'm gonna have one."

There were 2 chairs with a table between them. I sat down in one and then he came over to sit in the other with drink in hand. He didn't say anything. He just sipped his drink. I sat back all the way.

"How have you been?" He asked smiling. He's so fuckin weird.

"Fine." I said immediately. I was being very short. I wanted to be done with this so I could get the fuck out of there.

"How you liking L.A. I hear your from Canada?"

"It's fine."

"Did.."

"Ugh." I sat up interrupting him, "Are we gonna chit chat or fuck." I wanted to be straight forward. Sal had a chuckle.

"What's the rush?" He laughed looking like a dumb ass.

"Fuck this shit." I said getting up and heading to the door. I could hear him coming my way. When I opened the door he slammed it shut. I looked at him.

"Move." I demanded. He didn't.

"Move mother fucker." I shouted.

All of a sudden I felt a slap to my face. It stung like hell.

"I've had enough of your mouth." He shouted obviously very angry. "Say another gah damn word bitch."

I don't know where the bad ass came from. I just couldn't stop myself. I moved my hair out of my face.

"Fuck, You."

BAM

He hit me again, slamming me to the ground. But punching me this time. I started crying instantly. It hurt so bad. I thought my jaw was broken but it wasn't because I was able to spit the blood out. Before I could refocus I was being yanked up and thrown onto the bed. The slam got me back to myself. He ripped my panties clean off. I was in shock. I couldn't believe something like this was happening again. I tried to slap his hands away but it wasn't doing anything. My crying was getting bad. It was affecting my breathing. He started laughing as he put his fingers inside me. I felt so violated. Where was the bad ass then I thought. He started to unbutton his pants. I just couldn't believe this. I was slapping and hitting at him but he just held my arms down. When his pants were down he shoved his dick in as hard as he could it seemed. I almost screamed it hurt so bad. He giggled.

"Take it whore." He said as he pushed in even deeper. The pain was so intense. Each thrust felt like a sharp knife.

"Please." I cried, "Stop."

"Shut the fuck up."

I sobbed even more. I didn't know how much longer this was going to last.

"Holy shit this is good." he began. "It's sliding in rather easily now. Are you bleeding or are you wet?" he said.

The thought that I could possibly be bleeding made me sick to my stomach. I felt like I was gonna puke right there.

"Stay right there baby I'm gonna blast on you?" He said smiling while looking at my teary face.

He pulled out his dick and came on my stomach. A lot got on my dress. He let all of his weight down on me. I tried to push him off but the fucker weighed like 200 lbs. He finally got off. When I got up I thought I was gonna fall right down. I hurt so bad. I pulled my dress down and ran out of there leaving the door open. Each step was brutal. I was in so much pain. I went down the hallway and pressed the elevator button. It wasn't coming fast enough. Oh I wish it would hurry. It finally came up. No one was in there. I went in and leaned against the wall. I couldn't stop crying. I felt so weak. When I went through the lobby I got even more stares than last time. The blood on my white dress must have looked horrific. I didn't have the courage to look up at anyone.

"Are you alright?" A random woman said stopping me. I didn't respond I just shoved past her. There were so many cars zooming by. I raised my hand to get a taxi. After about a minute I got one. The look he gave me was a surprised one.

"Do you need to go to the hospital?" The man asked me as I very slowly sat down and closed the door.

It took me a while to answer, "No. Could you take me to Château Oaks?"

"Sure."

He drove off. Every bump he went over was torture. I tried to brace myself better but that wasn't working. We finally got to the apartments. I passed the driver the cab fare.

"Don't worry about it sweetie." The man said.

"Thank you."

I got out and headed up. No one was around. Good. I made it to the apartment and walked in. Luke was on the phone when he saw me.

"Let me, call you back." He said into the phone when he saw me.

I quickly walked over and threw my arms around him. He hugged me back.

"Manny what's wrong?" he asked as he held me. I couldn't answer right away. I was able to get a hold of myself towards the end of the cab ride, but the emotions soon came back. I started crying hard again. I stood there with him for a couple of minutes. He gently pushed me away from him by my arms so that he could look at me.

"Calm down." He told me, "What happened?"

" (sniffle) That asshole from your party, Sal. He was a complete monster. (sniffle) God he was being so mean Luke." I cried. I worked my way back into his arms.

"Did you get the money?" He asked.

"No. I ran out of there the first chance I got."

"O.k." Luke nodded, " I'm sorry your first experience was a bad one. Really. But honey your just going to have to learn to take the good with the bad. They are paying for a service, that you provide, and if they want to get a little rough from time to time that's just going to have to be o.k."

I pulled away a little. Is he serious? I'm stunned. I can't believe he just said that.

"O.k." Is all I can think to say back. He wiped my tears away with his hand.

"Now. Why don't you go get yourself cleaned up." He told me.

I began to walk off to his bedroom.

"Oh, Manny, would you come back here for a second?" He asked casually.

I walked back over, "Yes?"

He walked really close to me. He then yanked my hair really hard and held on to it, "Don't ever fuckin come back here without my money again. Understood?"

Again I didn't answer right away. I didn't know what was happening.

He pulled my hair harder, "Understood?" He said wanting a response. I nodded and he let go. His attitude changed again and he gave me a kiss on my cheek.

"O.k. run along. I'll bring you some tea."

I stood there for a second and Luke walked away. He went over to his phone and began dialing somebody. I continued on to his bedroom. I shut the door behind me. What have I gotten myself into, I thought. I went in the bathroom and turned the shower on. It was a task trying to get that tight ass dress off. When I stepped into the shower the water was steaming hot. I stood right underneath the shower head. I could see the red water streaming down the bottom of the bath tub into the drain. I don't know if I am cut out for this kind of lifestyle. Being raped and beaten. Having sex with unknown men. I can't believe the life I have been cursed with. I'm all alone. I have nobody. After my painstaking shower I found a t-shirt and went straight to bed. I wanted to sleep. Forever. I fell asleep. Hours went by. I heard something which woke me up. It was Luke opening the blinds. He had placed a tray of food on the bed. The sun burned my eyes but they quickly adjusted.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked sitting next to me as I sat up.

"I guess so."

"Good. I'm glad. Are you hungry?"

I didn't say anything but he put the tray over my lap anyway. It was a fruit bowl and some orange juice. I picked up a cantaloupe and started nibbling on it.

"Again Manny, I'm sorry you had such a bad night. I wish things could have been better for you." He said in a very soothing tone. He seemed to be sincere.

I gave a faint smile, "Don't be sorry. It wasn't your fault." He smiled back. I started eating more. We were both quiet for a short moment.

"I have some errands to run. Care to join me?"

"Definitely not." I said wide eyed.

"Why not?" He asked.

"Look at me I look like shit."

"Manny you look beautiful. Get dressed."

I smiled a bit and finished eating so I could get ready. I didn't want him to wait long so I went for something simple, deciding on jeans and a little sexy shirt. I went to the front.

"Are you ready to go?"

I nodded. We left. We went several places. He got something for his car, got some towels, went to the grocery store, liquor store. A lot of places. I thought we were finally heading back.

"Do you mind if we stop by my friends house?" He asked me while driving.

"Not at all."

We headed there. We weren't driving long. This guy lived in a house. Luke started to get out. I stayed in.

"C'mon." He motioned to me.

"I'll stay here."

"Manny, get out." He said. I did and we walked up to the door. Luke knocked. A shirtless man holding a puppy came to the door. The guy was skinny and needed a shave. He looked as if he was cute at one time.

"Holy shit Luke. Well come in." The man said moving to the side so Luke and I could get by. I couldn't help but notice the mountain of coke on the table. It looked very appetizing.

"How you been man?" The man asked Luke.

"Swell." Luke replied. The man looked at me and smiled.

"Who is this pretty thing."

"Oh excuse my manners," Luke smiled, "This is Manny."

"Hi." I smiled extending my hand.

"Hello."

"That puppy is adorable. Can I hold him?" I asked wide eyed. I hope I didn't come off young.

"Sure darlin." The man answered handing me the puppy. I went and sat down and Luke and the guy sat on the couch to have man talk or whatever it is they were doing. I couldn't keep my eyes off that coke. I wanted it so badly. I tried to play with the puppy but found my eyes back on the coke. I guess the man noticed me. When I saw him notice me I went back to the puppy hoping nothing would be said.

"Oh honey, I'm sorry, help yourself." The man said interrupting Luke. Luke turned around to look at me.

"Oh no, no, I'm fine." I tried to tell him even though I wanted some.

"I insist." The man kept going.

"No really I'm fine."

"It's the shit." The man tried once more. I looked over at Luke and he nodded giving me his approval.

"O.k. Thank you." I finally gave in.

"Don't worry about it."

Him and Luke started talking again. I put the puppy down and scooted closer to the table. The coke was cut perfectly. I made two ample lines. There was no straw so I had to put my face really close to the table and snort it that way. It was incredible just as expected. The guys continued talking. The drip was pretty good. I felt the high. Wow. I could tell the guys were wrapping up. Luke stood up as did the guy.

"Come back soon Luke."

"I'll do that." Luke responded.

I stood up. "It was a pleasure meeting you." I happily said.

"It was great meeting you."

"You were right. The coke was wonderful."

"I told you. Why don't you take a some with you." He offered.

"Oh no. I couldn't." I told him hoping he would impose like he did last time. I really did want more. He didn't say anything. He went over to the table and put some in a baggie.

"Here." He smiled. How giving this guy is.

"Thank you." I said as I accepted the gift and giving him a half hug.

"We're gonna get out of here." Luke said.

"Alright see you tonight?"

Me and Luke left.

"He seemed nice." I said opening the car door and having a seat.

"Yea. I have known him awhile."

Luke backed out and we drove to his house. I keep finding myself wanting to say home but his house isn't my home. He's just letting me stay there. The sun was going down just as we arrived but we didn't go out to look like we normally do. Luke went straight to his bedroom. I was so antsy. I followed him. When I went inside he was laying down. He raised his head when he saw me.

"Oh sorry. I didn't know you were sleeping." I said turning around to leave.

"No. Come back." He said softly, "Lay with me."

"I'm wide awake." I told him.

"So. I wanna hold you."

I couldn't resist that. I went over and laid next to him. He put his arm over me. I guess it was comfortable. Neither one of us said anything for like 5 minutes.

"Luke, thanks for letting me stay here. I have no idea what I would have done."

He didn't respond.

"Luke." I said as I turned over to look at him. He had fallen asleep. I slowly eased myself out from under him and got up. He must be tired. He barely sleeps. I closed the door behind me. It was so quiet all the time. I never saw any other tenants. I had a seat on the recliner. I was a little bored. I had so much energy. Maybe I should go for a walk, I thought. I left the building and headed down the sidewalk, clueless to where I was going. I passed so many random people, but spoke to a lot of them. A lot of the homeless people. I was out for hours and didn't even realize it. Luke is probably awake and wondering where I am. I walked briskly back to the apartment. When I walked in Luke was already awake and accompanied by the ever so beautiful Cherish. She always looks amazing. She was wearing a very short skirt that showed her perfect thighs and this sexy long sleeve shirt that was very low cut. She reminded me of Roxy a little.

"Hi Manny." Cherish greeted as she started coming towards me. She gave me hug.

"Hi." I responded.

"What were you doing?" Luke asked not even looking at me, but he didn't sound mad.

"Nothing just went for a walk."

He just nodded.

"Well c'mon we're going to a party."

"I don't think I should." I said hoping that would be the end of it.

"Why the fuck not?" Luke asked me getting up. Oh my gah. I hope he's not about to get mad at me.

"I, ya know, my face." I answered as I touched my face.

"Not a problem. Cherish will do your make-up." He responded and then walked away.

"Yea. So hurry up go get dressed so I can get started." Cherish said with a bubbly attitude. I really didn't want to go but I didn't want to see what would happen if I didn't. After my shower I had no idea what to wear. My thighs looked like shit compared to Cherish's. I needed to wear pants. Black ones. For a top a decided on a really cute corset type thing. When I was taking my old clothes to the closet the coke fell out of my pocket. I figured I would need some so I went in the bathroom and laid me a couple lines. Cherish walked in right as I was about to.

"Ohhhhh. So I see you like to sniff." She said as she closed the door.

"Well, don't we all." We shared a cute giggle.

"Where did you get that?" She asked me.

"From some friend of Lukes."

"Well don't do that. Do this." She pulled out a vile that was inside her cleavage. When she unscrewed the cap there was a little coke spoon on it. She took a bump of it and then gave it to me. I scooped some up and had a bump. It was strong. Like whoa.

"Ugh, do more than that."

She laid a huge fat line on her hand and put it up to my face. I snorted that as well.

"Good girl. Now c'mon, lets do your make-up before Luke kills us for making him wait." Cherish smiled.

She began my make up. I didn't really feel anything yet, but by the time she was done it had hit me hard. I was sooo high. Me and Cherish walked out as happy as could be.

"Hellooooo." I said to Luke as I struck a pose in front him.

"You girls ready?"

"Yes yes yes." I answered.

"Doesn't Manny look extra gorgeous tonight Luke?" Cherish asked being silly.

"Just like always." Luke said as he flashed me a smile.

The three of us headed out the door and to his car. As we were getting in I headed for the back seat but Cherish pushed me down to sit in the front seat and then she sat down in my lap. That was different but comfortable. She weighed like nothing. On the way there they both talked on their cell phones the whole time. I lost my cell phone like a week ago. Sucks hella bad because its gonna have service as long as Craig keeps paying the bill. And he will because he combined our plans and when he pays his my bill is included. Oh well. After 20 minutes of chatter we got to our destination. It was a huge house.

"Who all is here?" Cherish asked.

"Everyone." Luke replied. We reached the door and went inside. This house seems like it was made for parties. It looked like a club. Cherish disappeared immediately. I stuck with Luke.

"Let me introduce you to some people." Luke said putting his hand around my waist.

"Introduce me to some sexy guys now that I know what the deal is."

We both laughed. He introduced me to several people. Some of them were drop dead. I mean yummy. We finally settled in a corner where Luke started talking with his friends. I wasn't bored at all. I was in the happiest mood ever. I saw Cherish coming our way.

"Can I have a dance my lady?" She asked with drink in hand.

"Thought you'd never ask."

We went to where everyone was dancing. I'm not one to brag but we really were the sexiest girls there. Cherish was dancing so provocatively. She was raising her skirt exposing her ass cheeks and everything. It didn't look slutty. It looked cool. I wanted to be like that. I turned it up as well. We look flawless and we were both super high. We noticed 2 guys staring at us. Cherish stopped dancing. She took my hand.

"C'mon." she said as we began walking over to them.

"You boys lookin at me and my bitch?"

"Is that a bad thing?" One of the guys asked.

"Not at all." I replied, "What's your names?"

"I'm Kenny and this is Blaine." One of the guys answered.

"Cherish."

"Manny."

"I've seen you before." One of the guys said to Cherish.

"Excuse us for a moment." Cherish said and pulled me back a little.

"Manny, you wanna work these guys? They got money." Cherish asked very eager.

"Well lets go get it." I smiled.

"Fuck yea." She smiled then gave me a kiss. We walked back over to them.

"Sooo," Cherish leaned in really close to them, "You guys want to go upstairs?"

"Lets go." One of them said. Cherish and Kenny headed that way first. I took Blaine's hand and followed. On our way up stairs I looked down and I could see Luke. I winked at him and he smiled. I proceeded into the bedroom and closed the door behind me. An hour later Cherish and I walked out loaded. She was right about those guys having money. They dropped some serious cash on the both of us. We were going back down the stairs.

"Not to bad for an hours work, eh?" Cherish said.

"I'd say." I smiled, "I think I can get use to this."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kate did get in touch with us like James said. The band was paid 100,000.00 dollars. Sooo much money. We didn't get all of it though. We had to pay the record label 60 thousand which only left 40 thousand and we had to split that 4 ways. I ended up with 10 thousand dollars. A thousand of it went to drugs and paying for my room. Which left me with 9 thousand. The others went back home while I stayed. I didn't want to face anybody. I hadn't spoken with anyone in forever. Joey called a few times. One day I got a call from a number I didn't recognize but it was a Canadian number. I answered.

"Hello." I spoke into the phone.

"Craig, hi. It's J.T."

Holy shit. No fucking way. I cant believe this piss ant is calling me. What the fuck could he possibly want.

"Yea." I responded. I didn't know what else to say.

"Have you seen Manny?" He asked strangely.

"No. Why would I have seen Manny? I'm still in California."

"Yea. Manny never came back."

"What do you mean Manny never came back?" I asked him. My heart started beating faster.

"She never came back home. She told me she was staying in California and no one has heard from her since. People think she's dead man."

Oh my God. I thought my heart was going to jump right out of my chest.

"Craig" J.T. said.

"I'm here. God, why would she want to stay here?"

"I guess she wanted to stay with you."

He's right. She probably did want to stay with me. She's been here all alone all this time. Anything could have happened to her.

"J.T. um, I appreciate you letting me know. Thanks." I thanked him. The beef I had with him was the last thing on my mind at that time.

"No problem. Just let me know if you hear anything."

"I will." I assured him.

"Bye."

"Bye." I hung up. My first thought was to call Manny but when I didn't I didn't get an answer. I don't blame her she probably hates me.

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I have been working as a prostitute for about a month now. Maybe a little less. It has not been easy at all. It has been the hardest thing I have ever done. Cherish makes it seems so easy. It has been nothing but hell for me. I always get set up with the biggest assholes. Always perverts that try to push my body to the limit. Sometimes I just don't know how much more I can take. Sometimes I cry, but then I think, what is that going to do. No longer am I Lukes little sweetheart. He treats me like shit now. One day I got robbed by a guy I had just had sex with and he took everything. I thought Luke was gonna kill me he was so furious. He beat me so bad I couldn't even leave the house for like 3 days. But of course I woke up to some lavish gift to make up for it. Luke only gave me enough drugs to keep me going. I never slept it seems. I dyed my hair a really sexy blood red 2 weeks ago. I was shocked that Luke let me get away with that. He actually liked it. Tonight I'm suppose to be going to meet some old married guys. I wonder what kind of perversions they are going to come up with this time.

"Fuck Manny hurry up." Luke yelled, "I'm not gonna be waiting on your ass all night."

I was in the bathroom doing some finishing touches. He was annoying the shit out of me but I dare not say a word. I was about to leave when I realized I didn't have a lighter for my cigarettes. I needed some matches. Luke usually kept some in a sock drawer somewhere. I went and opened it and didn't see any. I know they're somewhere. I reached my hand deep inside and felt something odd. When I looked at what it was it was my cell phone. Luke must have taken it. Why would he do that? I heard Luke coming so I fixed everything as fast as I could.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Luke asked after he walked in his room.

"Nothing."

"Well lets go. You were suppose to be there 30 minutes ago."

I made sure I had everything I needed like condoms and such and then left. Luke wasn't very talkative on the way there. All he had to say was for me not to fuck up because there was a lot of money to be made there. I was just ready to get there and get it over with so I could get back and find out why the fuck he would take my phone. Luke dropped me off and then left. He never stays. I guess because he doesn't want to feel guilty about anything. It's so scary knocking on a door and not knowing what to expect on the other side. The night ended up being a breeze. They were older men so they came like that. I got the money and was out of there. I took a cab back. Luckily Luke wasn't there. I rushed to his bedroom and got my phone charger out of my bag. I'm surprised that was still there. I got my phone and had to let it charge for like 10 minutes before I could even turn it on. When I did I was amazed. I didn't know it was even possible but I had 74 missed calls and messages. It never occurred to me that people might be wondering where I am. I did just disappear without telling anyone. I began checking them. The first one I heard was Emma. Oh my God Emma. She sounded horrible. I feel kind of bad just leaving her. But she was better off without me. I started skipping around because listening to Emma almost made me cry. There were some messages from J.T. but for some reason I didn't want to listen to those. I was on the last one and I couldn't believe it. My heart nearly stopped. It was Craig

"Manny. (sigh) I didn't think you would answer. I was right. I know things weren't golden last time we spoke. You must hate me. Just please, call me. Let me know you're o.k. I love you." The message said. My eyes started watering right away. Oh how I miss him. I want to call him back but what do I tell him? I can't tell him I've been living with some guy. I'm going to call him but I probably shouldn't call from here. If Luke caught me that would be it. I decided to go around the corner but I changed first. Something simple and fast. Just a t-shirt and jeans with a jacket. I was out of there. I went to a corner store. I was so nervous. We haven't spoken since he found out I was some huge skank and fucked another guy. That was like over a month ago. I sat all that thinking aside and just called. It rang once. Then twice. A third time. I thought for sure I was about to not get an answer. It was so late. Like 3:00 a.m.

"Manny." Craig picked up. I froze. It was so nice to hear him.

"Manny." Craig spoke again.

"I'm here." I responded. Craig made a sigh of relief.

"Oh my God Manny. Where are you?"

"I'm still in California. I didn't go back."

"Where have you been staying?" His voice was so, I don't know how to explain it. He sounds so concerned.

I knew he was going to ask me that. "Here and there."

"Are you o.k.?"

"I'm fine."

"Where are you? I want to see you."

Oh my God. I can't let him come here. That's suicide.

"I don't think that's a good idea." I told him. Like he was really gonna say o.k. bye.

"Manny. Where are you? I want to see you right now." Craig demanded.

"Craig I can't."

"Manny, I'm not playin with you. Tell me where you are."

He seems to really want to see me. I want to see him just as bad. I'm about to take a huge risk.

"(sigh) What hotel are you at? I'll come to you." I told him hoping that he would except that. He did.

"4 Seasons. Room 220."

"O.k. I'll leave now."

"O.k." He paused for a moment, "I'm so glad your o.k."

I didn't know what to say. I honestly thought that I would never see Craig again and for him to speak this way to me was a miracle. All I could say was "See you soon." then hung up. I hailed a cap and got one almost instantly.

"4 Seasons please." I told the cab driver. On the way there I was nervous and scared at the same time. Nervous about seeing Craig and scared that I might get caught. Since it was so late I was able to get there in no time.

"Thanks." I handed the driver the money. My heart was beating a million beats a second. I walked through the lobby and into the elevator. I was only in there for like 1 second since he was on the second floor. What am I gonna say to him. It took everything I had not to turn around. I reached room 220. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. He answered shirtless.

"Manny." Craig said grabbing me. He hugged me so tightly. I hugged back. I got a little teary eyed but I didn't start crying or anything. Craig's breathing got faster. Was he, oh my, I think he was about to cry. He pulled away to look at me then pulled me back.

"God. I don't know what I would have done if something had happened to you." Craig said softly, "I love you so much."

"I love you to." I told him. He pulled away again and closed the door. We both sat on the bed. We were kind of quiet.

"What have you been doing here all this time?" Craig asked me.

I wish I had prepared myself for the obvious questions.

"I've umm, just," I couldn't think of anything to say, "Nothing really."

"Where are you staying?"

"With a friend. She's really nice."

Craig again was silent.

"Don't you know people think you're dead? Why did you stay here? Why didn't you go back?"

I got up.

"I had nothing to go back to. I had nowhere to live and didn't have, never mind."

Craig got up and walked over to me.

"Didn't have what?"

"I didn't have you." I confessed. He pulled me into another hug and kissed my head.

"Well never again. I'm never gonna leave you again."

I started crying. There was no way that this whole situation was about to be that easy.

"What's wrong?" He asked concerned. I couldn't tell him the truth.

"I just missed you." I love him so much. "Craig I'm so sorry for everything. I wish I could go back."

"Manny don't worry about that. I don't care." He reassured me.

His phone rang but he ignored it. It rang again.

"Ugh," He sighed, "I gotta get the phone." He went and answered.

I went over and laid down in his bed for what I thought was going to be a second. I was so tired. When Craig got off the phone I was drifting asleep. Craig turned the light off and laid next to me.

"I love you." Craig said as he put his arm around me.

"I love you to."

Oh my God, no. I was waking up. I slept here. Me frantically getting up woke up Craig. I ran over to my cell phone. It read 11:30 a.m.

"Shit." I said kind of loudly with a cracky voice because I was about to cry. Not because I was about to have to leave Craig (although that saddened me) but because I had spent the night and I knew Luke was going to be furious. I hated being scared like this. Nothing has happened yet and all ready I'm shaking from the fear of what I'm going to get.

"What's the matter?" Craig asked as he got up.

"I have to go."

"Why are you so upset?" He asked. I really didn't want nor did I have time to get into this. I headed for the door but Craig stopped me.

"Craig, I don't have time for this o.k. So please just, move." I tried to tell him but he didn't care.

"No. Tell me what's going on."

"Look, it's none of your business."

"You are my business."

I started crying even harder. I really needed to go and Craig wasn't being very corporative.

"Craig please, just let me leave." I must have sound desperate.

Craig walked closer to me, "Oh my God. Manny what is wrong?"

I wanted to tell him so badly but he would for sure think I was the nastiest, dirtiest thing. I tried to dry up my tears but it wasn't working to well.

"Manny?" Craig spoke.

"(sigh) I fucked up. (pause) I really need to go."

"Well let me come with you. We could get your stuff and you can come back here."

"No. It's not that easy."

Craig's mood changed. It changed to a more emotional mood. He backed away and was quiet for a minute.

"Why are you keeping things from me?" Craig asked annoyed. I was speechless. I didn't know how to answer him.

"Jesus Manny please let me help you."

I really didn't think I was gonna be able to handle this. Could things be more fucked up? I felt like I was going to have a nervous break down or something.

"Craig, please, please, let me leave." I begged him. I could sense the frustration he was feeling. I felt horrible about doing this I just really didn't want to involve him.

"Fine." Craig said then opened the door for me. All I could do was walk out. I hated leaving like this. But what was I to do? I got a cab and headed back to Luke's. I was oblivious to everything that was going on around me. A plane could have crashed in front of me and I probably wouldn't have noticed. We got there quickly. Figures. It was noon now. I dreaded going up. I stepped out of the elevator and started the walk down the hallway and approached the door. My hands were shaking. Before walking in I turned my phone off and put it in my sock. Hopefully it will be o.k. there. I went in. I saw Cherish first thing and no sign of Luke. She motioned for me to leave.

"Go. Go." She whispered and waved her hand but it was to late. Luke came out. He smiled a bit. Not a welcoming smile. A sarcastic/frightening one. He was so calm with everything he did. That's why he was so scary. You never know what to expect from him.

"Cherish I will see you later." He said basically telling her to go. She got her purse and left without saying a word. I just stood there. Luke reached in his pocket and took out his cigarettes.

"Would you like one?" He offered.

"No." I said quietly.

"You sure?"

I nodded. He took out one, lit it, and took a puff.

"Where were you?" He asked nonchalantly. Oh my God. Here we go. I need to think of something to tell him.

"I went to the beach and accidentally fell asleep. I'm sorry." I spoke hoping that would be good enough. I knew it wouldn't be. Luke nodded and took another puff of his cig.

"Manny, why do you lie to me? Huh. I'm just asking a simple question."

"I'm not lying."

Luke put his cigarette down on the counter.

He exhaled, "You know Manny, you are the stupidest person I have ever fuckin met. I mean your fuckin standing here talking to me like I'm some idiot. Do you think I'm an idiot?"

I didn't answer right away. He walked closer to me.

"Do you?"

"No."

"Then tell me where the FUCK you were?" He yelled loudly. Very loud. I started to cry.

"Oh shut the fuck up."

Of course I started crying even more.

"Don't pull that little girl bullshit now. Where were you?" He asked in my face. I figured lying was better than telling him where I really was.

"I was on the beach." I wept. He didn't except that.

"Fuck Manny." He said as he grabbed my hair and flung me across the room. Before I could get up he was already next to me again. He hit me knocking me back down. Right in the eye. It went like completely black on the side. I have never experienced anything like that before. I thought I was fucking blind. He lifted me up by my wrist and slammed me against the wall. I was so scared. I really didn't want to get hit in my face again.

"You're worthless. Get the fuck out." he said and then walked off to his bedroom. I was relieved. As I walked out the door I immediately thought, What do I do now?

**plez review.i luv u. and letz juss say next chap involves a reunion,a party,family,and emma**


	12. Kiss me,Im contagious

a/m- after this only two more chaps left.sry it took so long!thank you and plez review! 3

CHAP 12-Kiss me,I'm contagious

**CRAIG POV**

Manny knows she can piss me off more than anyone. It killed me to let her walk out of here. I know there is something more to what's going on with her. After she left I did some lines of meth. I have been worrying about her ever since she walked out of here. My mind is in over drive. I called her but she didn't answer.  
_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_

Damn I hate hotels. They are always bothering me and I have to hurry up and hide my drugs. The shit is so annoying. I looked out the peep hole first. It wasn't hotel service. It was Manny. I opened the door right away. I couldn't believe it. She looked awful. I was speechless. She was crying. Her eye was puffy and bloodshot. I wanted to cry.  
"Craig." She mumbled through her cries. She just stood there.  
"Manny," I walked to her and tried to hug her but she flinched away from me. I couldn't believe it. What the fuck has happened to her. She's shaking.  
"Manny," I tried again but she pushed me and backed away. She started crying even harder. I don't know why but I wanted to hold her let her know I was there for her. I tried again and she started pushing me away, slapping at me.  
"Don't Craig," she cried, "Don't"  
I finally caught her wrist and shook her to stop her, "Manny," I shouted, "It's o.k." She finally stopped and almost fell to the ground but I caught her. She fell into my arms crying her eyes out. I brought her inside.  
"Baby what's wrong? Please, tell me who did this?" I begged her. She didn't say anything she just continued to cry. I didn't say anything for awhile after that. I let her cry. She cried for like 10 minutes. She has always been so emotionally frustrated. I sat her down on the bed. She kept her head down. I went and got her a towel out of the bathroom and put some cubes of ice in it. I tried to put it on her eye but she winced. God this was killing me. I wish I could trade places with her. I sat next to her. "Manny, what happened?" I asked. She had dried up a little. She looked at me.  
"I don't even know where to begin." She said as she shook her head.  
"Just take your time"  
"Craig," She paused. "Craig I-" She got up and walked away from the bed. She didn't face me. I was almost scared to hear what she had to say.  
"Craig I've been working as a prostitute"  
HOLY SHIT! Oh my God. What the fuck. I really didn't expect for her to say that. I didn't know how to feel about this. I mean she was actually fuckin guys for money. This is mind blowing. I didn't know how to react. I'm sure she was forced.  
I moved my hair off my face.  
"Were you kidnapped? Did someone make you?" I asked her. I hope so. She turned around and shook her head no. I couldn't believe she was so helpless that she felt that she needed to turn to prostitution. I'm sure most of this was my fault. If I didn't leave her none of this would have happened. "You must think I'm disgusting." She softly spoke with her head down. I walked over to her and held her chin up.  
"No way." I wiped some of her tears away. Some managed to come out again. "Who did this to you"  
"The guy I was living with. He got mad that I was late"  
"Manny I'm so sorry." I expressed as I pulled her to me to hug her. She hugged back. All of a sudden I got angry. Angry at myself, angry at the fucker that did this to her. I could feel my blood boiling. I'm so sick and fucking tired of Manny getting hurt by these assholes. I can't even protect her. I pulled away and looked at her. I walked over to the table and got some vicodin and codeine.  
"Here take these." I handed them to her and then poured her a glass of wine, "They will help you sleep and I'm sure that eye is killing you"  
She took them then handed the glass back to me. I put it down and took her jacket off. Her body must have been sore. She acted like it was. When she took her jeans off she was just there in her shirt and underwear. She had a few bruises on her arms and legs. I hated seeing her like this. I pulled the covers back and she climbed in. I covered her up.  
"I love you Manny." I said then kissed her head. "I love you to Craig." She responded. I went over and sat in the chair by the window. Her back was to me. I just looked at her. I had a million thoughts in my head. But I was actually a little lost. I didn't know what I was gonna do. Manny was asleep soon. I watched her sleep all night. It was like if I took my eyes off her she'd be gone again. I wasn't gonna let that happen. Never again. She slept for awhile. I'm glad she got some rest. She finally awoke. She looked worse. Her eye was black now and still bloodshot. I felt so sorry for her. She actually gave me a faint smile upon rising. It was sweet. I got up and went to sit next to her.  
"How ya feelin?" I asked. She shrugged her shoulders.  
"Groggy"  
"Yea." I put my arm around her. I wanted her to feel somewhat comfortable, "Are you hungry, or anything"  
"No. Maybe some coffee." She said looking away. The hotel offered free breakfast. I got off the bed and threw a shirt on.  
"Where ya going?" She asked.  
"Down stairs to get you some coffee"  
"Oh no. You don't have to." She began to get up but I stopped her and it made her sit back down.  
"No. Stay here. I'll be right back." I didn't want her to go anywhere.  
"O.k"  
I went downstairs to the lobby. When I came back and was walking into the room she was putting her jeans back on.  
"What are you doing?" I asked closing the door.  
"Nothing"  
I handed her the coffee.  
"Thank you." she said then sat down. I sat as well.  
"You are staying here right?" "If that's o.k." She said as she sipped her coffee. I smiled widely.  
"Of course it's o.k"  
"Where is everybody"  
"I fucked it up for everybody and we got dropped from the label"  
"What did you do"  
"Wouldn't show up at shows, and shit like that"  
"I bet the others were pissed"  
"Were they?" I did a slight smirk. She continued to sip her coffee. "Do you have any crystal?" She asked boldly.  
"Uh sure." I got up and got the crystal out of my pants pocket, "C'mon"  
She got up and came to the table to me. I laid her a couple of lines out. She tossed her hair over her shoulder and leaned down to snort it. I helped myself to one as well. She rubbed her nose a little and sat on the bed. I sat next to her. I held her chin up to get a better look at her eye.  
"Your eye looks bad. Are you sure your o.k.? Do you maybe want to go to the hospital or something"  
"No I'll be o.k"  
"Positive"  
"Positive"  
"O.k"  
Manny then looked at me and saw the date on the newspaper and picked it up. "Wow, I had no idea what day it was, I didn't realize how much time passed." She said in a whisper. "Yeah you have been missing for quite a long time." I told her as I scooted next to her, "I bet no one cared." She said with a laugh. Then she had a serious face on as she turned the page and saw her picture. "What? They have an article about me!" Manny exclaimed as she began to panic. "Haven't you been watching the news? Or reading the papers or even answered your cell phone?" Craig asked. Manny was walking down the street with Luke when they past an electronic shop. "Manny did I say you can fuckin watch t.v?" He snarled. Manny shook her head. "I haven't watched t.v, listened to a radio, or even like read a magazine since I've been with you. You made me dye my hair, wear these stupid contacts, are you trying to hide me or what?" Luke smiled and grabbed her arm and took her to an alley. Manny knew what was going to happen and she closed her eyes. "Respect me bitch." He gritted as he raised his hands... Many seemed to be thinking about something then she finally spoke. "L-Luke," She struggled so say his name. "He kept me away from all that." She then looked at her newspaper. "Manuella Santos age 16,is a Toronto student who disappeared in last month while on her class field trip with Degrassi Community School,(which is also the school that had the shooting last year of paralyzing a basketball Star and the shooter ended up getting shot.) So far sources say that Manuella Santos was in some sort of mishap that involved two other boys and was suppose to stay in the hotel room for the remaining of the trip but around the time that it was time to leave Ms. Hatzalacos went to go check on her when she found that her room was empty. No sign on her what so ever. Her clothes were gone and in fact her room was clean as if she had never stayed there. There was in fact a search warrant all around the California area to find her but no luck. "We only have one lead." Says officer Tanner of the LAPD in charge of this case." A witness says he saw Miss. Santos walking out of the hotel and into a car, witness doesn't recall what the car looked like but we have a clue that she left with someone." She has not been seen since or heard of. Police questioned everyone and no one has a clue where she is. They tried to call her cell phone but nothing. When we questioned her mother in Canada she only had this to say." I don't know where she is, she always had a thing for getting in trouble. I'm sure it's just a plea for attention." and-" Manny put down the newspaper and looked down. I then immediately took the newspaper away and looked at her. "You okay?" I asked her. "That stupid bitch doesn't bother me. Fuck her let her rot in hell." She said darkly. Then all of a sudden she coughed but it was like an asthma cough and she couldn't stop. "Manny? Manny?" I panicked." Can you breathe?" "W-Wa- Wat-" "Water?" I immediatly got up and took a water bottle off the counter and sat her up and patted her back and she took the water. "Are you okay?" I asked her. She nodded. "Yeah, I have just been getting sick lately." I looked at her and I mean really looked at her. This wasn't the girl I fell in love with. The girl I loved, loved herself, she smiled, she was so naturally beautiful, and was sweet, and wasn't a meth addict. She had a wonderful body which looked healthy. This girl...this imposter…didn't love herself, I hardly ever see her smile, the drugs had made her skin pale and her eyes red and she was getting skinnier and skinnier, she cussed all the time, wasn't healthy and her eyes just read pain. She had bruises all of her body. She needed to quit as do I. The world thinks she's missing and I am the only one that knows she's okay. Then she did something that made all these thoughts go away. "Craig I love you, I miss you, I want you." She said to me. "What?" I asked again. "Craig hold me, and promise you won't ever let me go." She whispered as she curled up in my arms. I didn't want to ever let her go either. I closed my eyes and held her in my arms. "I'll never let you go." Then all of a sudden, and I thought I was the bi-polar one, she got up and stretched. "Come on let's go and show the world our love." She spoke. What the fuck? "Um…Manny maybe you should stay in bed." I said s I got near her. "I slept all night and I feel refreshed." Manny said as she was about to go to the door I ran. "No!" I then backed her away from the door. "UM, sweetie, what the fuck is your problem?" She asked weirded out. "Manny I love you but you don't fully understand the situation here do you?" I asked her as she sighed as if annoyed. "We're high I am aware of that." Manny joked. She then got closer and started rubbing my chest. "Let's go outside." God damn, that felt so good I missed her touch. But no, I couldn't. "Manny. Listen. You are missing! People think you are dead. This isn't Oh I'm here let's live again. No. There's cops involved investigations. They are going to question you. You will be on the news. Don't you get it? Even worse if you come on high. I was interviewed about you!" I ran into the drawers and got a newspaper and read. "Craig Manning Lead singer of once famous Band D.S is with the missing girl Manuella Santos. The Police are now investigating him but so far he hasn't been in contact with her, so he isn't classified as a suspect." Manny then sighed and sat back down at the bed. "So what do I have to do?" She asked me. "Well first of all drink this." I said as I handed her a bottle. She got it and looked for a name and she then looked at me. "Um...what kind of mix is this?" She asked as she unscrewed the bottle. "It isn't booze." I answered her. She then put the cap back on. "Then what is it?" "It's just drink it pretend it's booze." I said to her. I got up and opened the bathroom door. She then followed me. "Mmmm bathroom sex, do I ever." She said as she sat on the counter and pulled me towards her. "Manny," It really killed me to be doing this. My dick would've kicked my ass. When she teases me...you have no idea how bad I wanted to fuck her. "Just please drink it." "Okay you're turning down sex...for me to drink this." She said as if getting instructions. "It's to clean out you're body, your blood stream, to get all the drugs out so when they test you." I finally answered. "What for?" She asked. I turned and sighed. "One way or another we are going to have to go back you know. We can't just stay in hiding. Besides a lot of people are worried about you-" "I don't give a fuck ,I have you and that's all that matters!" Manny said as she came close to me. "Manny. I love you more than you will ever know trust me but...the truth of the matter is, you need to see a doctor or something you could've I dunno.." I didn't want to finish because I knew I would offend her. I backed away. But then she gave me this look. "I could've..." "Never mind" I said hoping that would be the end of it but that was to much like normal for Manny.  
"No, what were you about to say? I could've what?" She said walking closer with an attitude.  
"You could have contracted an std"  
I could tell she was pissed.  
"Ugh. Do you think I'm dirty or some shit? Am I not clean enough for you motherfucker?" she asked getting even madder. Her arms were crossed and she was pretty high. Bad combo.  
"No Manny, that's not what I meant at all." I said trying to calm her down before she got going.  
"Well what the fuck did you mean then"  
"Manny"  
"Is that why you didn't want to have sex"  
"Manny," I walked closer to her, "Chill out." I said firmly, "I just want to make sure you're o.k. that's all"  
She didn't say anything. She was probably thinking about how right I was. I had the urge to ask her about all the nasty ass shit she was doing while she was a hooker, but I knew she wouldn't tell me. And now that I think about it I don't know if I could stand hearing it. She put the bottle to her mouth and chugged it.  
"Happy now?" She asked with her eyebrows raised. She threw the bottle away and got in bed, pulling the covers completely over her head. I felt a little bad now. I don't know why. I really don't know what I'm gonna do about all of this. This is all very overwhelming. I looked over at her and I could see her red hair sticking out of the covers. I love her so much. She couldn't possibly be tired. She slept for hours. I wonder what she was thinking under there. I ran over and jumped on the bed startling her. She moved the covers off of her and a gave a faint smile. I was smiling as well. "Craig I'm so bored." She said moving the hair off her face.  
"I know, I know. But really, you probably should stay in." I told her now laying next to her. She exhaled loudly. It's so hard telling her no.  
"Sigh." I expressed, "O.k"  
She turned back to look at me with surprised eyes. She straddled me.  
"Really?" She smiled.  
"Yea." She kissed me then jumped off the bed. She was so happy. I have always loved how happy she gets over the smallest things. I got up and grabbed my wallet. "Where do you want to go"  
"Anywhere. Lets just get out of here." Manny said putting on her jacket. We headed downstairs and out of the building. Hand and hand we walked down the sidewalk. "Oh shit. You don't have any clothes huh?" I remembered. Manny looked at me, "You're right"  
"Let's go get some"  
"Craig, I don't want you to spend you're money on me." She said. She's so sweet. "Manny don't be silly." I said then winked at her. We went to some of the shops around where we were staying. I only ended up getting her some shirts and a couple pair of jeans. I would have bought more but she wouldn't let me.  
"Thank you, thank you, thank you." Manny said walking holding her bags.  
"Anything for my girl." I told her, "Lets go get some food"  
We found this cute little Mexican restaurant. We got a couple of fish tacos to go. We then took a bus to the beach. The same beach that we went to before. We took a seat on the sand.  
"Wow, a picnic. How romantic and shit." Manny said sarcastically.  
"I know." I agreed.  
"Mmmm." Manny said as she bit into her taco. She seemed to be enjoying it. They were very good. She looked at me and smiled. She had a piece of lettuce on her cheek. I swiped it off. We didn't talk much. We both just sat and ate. Manny looked at me a couple times as if she was going to say something but kept hesitating .  
"So, you ready to go?" I asked. She nodded. We collected our trash then waited on the sidewalk for the bus to come. It came in like 5 minutes and we were back at the hotel in about 20.  
"Thanks Craig. I really appreciate everything." Manny said as we went inside the room.  
"No problem"  
We both had a seat.  
"You want a drink?" I asked her. She gave me a confused smile.  
"You sure"  
"Why not." I went to go pour her a double shot and walked it over to her. She accepted and winked. What a beauty. For the next few days me and Manny basically chilled in the room, getting drunk and shit. It was o.k. I guess. We defiantly had our bored moments. I got a call today from Wolf productions. They want me to come in and sign some stuff that was never dealt with. What a drag. They wanted me to come in at like 2ish. Manny was still asleep when I was getting ready to go. I left her a note and was out the door.

MANNY POV

When I woke up Craig was gone. I've been in this room forever. I went to pee. There was a note on the table from Craig telling me that he had to go to his record label. After I was done my cell phone started ringing. My phone had not rang in days. At all really. I had no idea who it possibly could have been. When I looked it was a California number. It was Cherish. I almost didn't answer it.  
"Hello" I answered the phone.  
"Hey girl." She spoke bubbly as ever.  
"Hi Cherish"  
"What's going on with you"  
"Nothing." I answered.  
"You still in Cali"  
"Yea. I'm staying with my boyfriend"  
"Boyfriend"  
"Yea. He's been here for awhile. We're just now getting back together"  
"Sweet. We should hang out." She suggested.  
"What for"  
"Just because you and Luke, well ya know, doesn't mean we have to stop being friends"  
"True." I agreed. She was right.  
"Very true. So lets hang"  
"Where do you want to meet?" "Come to my apartment." She answered. Craig doesn't want me to leave. But I figured I could be back here before he got back.  
"Um, o.k"  
"See you soon"  
"Bye"  
I hung up the phone. I got dressed pretty fast. I wanted to so I could be out of there quickly so that I could get back. I took a bus. There in no time. Cherish lived in a huge apartment complex. I felt like I walked a mile just to get to her area. When I got to Cherish's door I then realized what could be waiting for me when I got in there. Luke could have been on the couch waiting to kill me or something. I would hope that Cherish wouldn't do anything like that. I knocked on the door. "Come in." She spoke loudly. I walked in and she was in the kitchen. Her eyes lit up when she saw me. I didn't know that she liked me that much. Where do I find these girls. Marissa, Roxy, Cherish. They are all the same girl just in a different body.  
"Manny!" she squealed then ran over to hug me, almost knocking me down.  
"Cherish, hi." I responded, hugging her back. She pulled away. She went to sit down on her couch.  
"Sit, sit, sit." She said patting the seat next to her. I went and sat beside her.  
"So, what's going with you"  
"Nothing at all." I answered, "Apparently there was some huge missing persons investigation over my whereabouts, so Craig doesn't want me to leave the hotel until we get all of this figured out"  
"Sux to the max"  
"I knowz." "I feel so special." She smiled and half hugged me again, "You snuck out to see me." She laughed.  
"Cherish you seem to be in a good mood." I told her. She was wide eyed and all smiles and hugs.  
"I am in a good mood. But it's not all me. I had some X-tra, help." She said emphasizing the X.  
"Ecstasy"  
"Yea. You want one"  
Here we go. I always find myself at this place. Drugs, or what I should be doing.  
"I'll pass"  
"C'mon Manny. You could use a little pick me up"  
Damn the people I know never know how to surrender.  
"Nah." I said trying my hardest. The truth was that I would love a hit of X.  
"Your boyfriend wont know." she walked away and returned with a pill and some water, "Here"  
I couldn't resist. I accepted. It really sux how I can never just say no. I took the pill and had a seat. 20 minutes later I was hit with a feeling of euphoria so intense, I didn't know if I could handle it. I went to her comp and selected a song. I selected "Cherish" by Madonna. It started playing.  
"Like oh my Gawd." I said turning it way up, "It's your song"  
I went over to her and grabbed both of her hands. We started dancing and jumping around singing the lyrics. "Cherish the thought, of always having you here by my side" We laughed like little girls. I had no idea how much I missed a good friendship. It really is a good thing. I wish we had met under different circumstances. Like a lot of drugs, X warps time tremendously. I feel like I have been here only an hour but in actuality it's been a lot longer. So long I don't even want to say.

CRAIG POV

That signing papers bullshit took forever. I thought that I would never get out of there. I stopped to get Manny an orange scone from Panera. Those have always been her favorite. It took me no time to get back to the hotel. I kind of wanted to get there quickly because Manny was probably pretty bored up there. When I walked in I didn't see Manny. My immediate thought was that she was in the bathroom or something. The bathroom door was wide open and when I walked by it I didn't see her. Where could she be? She's probably in the lobby or getting some candy at the snack machine. I decided to call her cell phone. When I dialed I heard her phone ring. She left it in the room. I guess she would be up in a minute or so. A minute passed. 5 minutes passed. 10 minutes passed. I was beginning to get worried. Where the fuck would she go, and leave her phone. I cant believe this. I told her to stay in this room. Hours passed by and still no Manny. I paced back and forth to keep myself calmed down. It wasn't working. I was getting more pissed by the second. I stood by the window. I could see out to the street. Finally I saw her coming up the sidewalk. I was so relieved, yet angry. She walked in the hotel. She would be up here any second. It took about a minute. I opened the door before she could even touch the knob. "Hey-" she began but I grabbed her arm and pulled her in then shut the door.  
"Where the fuck have you been"  
"Nowhere hun. I just went to visit a friend." She said politely. Extra calm and friendly.  
"You went to visit a friend"  
"Yea. Cherish." She smiled, "She's great. Maybe you can meet her." She was acting a little to happy. I walked really close to her so I can get a look at her eyes.  
"Are you fuckin high?" "Uhhh maybe." She said with a giggle. "A little X never hurt"  
Shit. That completely fucks up the effects of the drink I gave her that gets rid of the toxins.  
"Why did you do that?" I asked her angrily, "Now you have drugs in your system. And why the fuck would you see one of your old hooker friends? Something could've happened to you." I expressed.  
"Baby relax." Manny said as she took off her jacket, "Nothing happened"  
I was standing by the table and she came over to me. She saw the bag from Panera and picked it up.  
"You been to Panera?" She asked. I snatched the bag and threw it across the room.  
"We are going back to Canada"  
"No need for rash decisions"  
"No. Fuck that. First flights I can get we are out of here"  
"O.k., o.k.,." She said holding her arms up. I was obviously still very mad. She went over to the bag once more and picked it up. She looked inside and pulled out her pastry. She did a happy gasp.  
"Orange scones, you remembered." she smiled then took a bite. "Yea I knew how much you liked them"  
"Your so thoughtful." She walked over to me and held the scone to my mouth. I moved her hand away. She made a sad face.  
"Don't be mad at me. I'm sorry." She said with pouty lips. I couldn't resist that. She held it up to my mouth again. I took a bite and she smiled. Followed by a kiss. We had a few drinks while watching t.v. then went to sleep. We woke up around 10:30. So early. I was serious about going back to Canada. I got dressed so I could go to the airport. "So," I said looking at Manny. She was sitting Indian style on the bed eating skittles, "Can I trust you to stay here or do I have to bring you with me"  
She laughed, "I'm fine"  
"O.k. well uh I'll be back soon"  
"O.k"  
"See ya"  
"Bye"  
I left and caught a taxi to LAX. Crowded as usual. I stood in line 4ever.  
"Hi. I need to know your next flight to Toronto." I said to the lady behind the counter.  
"Lets see." she looked on her computer, "Ah, we have a 3:15 this afternoon"  
"Great. I'd like 2 one ways please." I started taking out my wallet. She was getting the price.  
"O.k. that's 1,050 dollars sir"  
Shit. Oh well. I gave it to her. She handed me the tickets.  
"Thank you sir. You have a nice day"  
"Thanks"  
I went back to the hotel. Manny was still there. She better have been.  
"Hey." she said to me as I walked in the door.  
"Hey." I took off my jacket and sat down, "The plane leaves at 3:15 today"  
"Ugh, I still don't see why we had to go back. I don't even have a place to live." Manny expressed.  
"Don't worry about that. You can stay with me at Joeys. It wont be a problem. Besides, I'm sure Ang misses you"  
"Awwww that sweet girl. What an angel"  
"Yea"  
We chilled out for a few hours and then started to get ready. While Manny was in the shower I packed her stuff. Between the two of us we didn't have much. I used the same suitcase. Surprisingly she didn't take forever like she usually does. We drank all the liquor that we had left leaving us both very buzzed. Great. A buzzed flight is always the shit.  
"So, you ready to go?" I asked. Manny looked around once more to make sure we weren't forgetting anything.  
"Yea"  
"Well let us go." I lugged the suitcase downstairs then a bellboy did the rest. After checking out, I hailed us a cab. The bellboy wanted a tip but didn't get one. Manny got in and I followed.  
"LAX." Manny told the driver.  
"Right away." The driver said.  
It took us forever to get there. L.A. traffic is a bitch. We got there at 3:00. Barely making it. We checked in our luggage and went to our gate. We had no carry-ons. When we reached the gate they were already boarding. We gave the flight attendant our tickets and went on the plane. Manny had the window seat and I the aisle. Of course it took forever to take off. I'm so glad we were buzzed. It really did help for the boredom. We talked about and did stupid things for the first hour. Manny let me fix her hair and shit. It was funny. After the buzz was gone the boredom returned. Manny tried to sleep. I just stayed awake the whole time. It was a long flight. Like 7 hours. We got there around 2:30 at night. We got off the plane and headed towards baggage claim.  
"I'm sure Joey doesn't expect to see you right now." Manny sarcastically said as I got our bag.  
"I know." I agreed. She was right. Joey was probably asleep. Oh well. It will be a good surprise. We caught a cab to Joeys. On the way there Manny was acting a little weird.  
"Hey," I nudged her, "You o.k"  
She made a gesture that meant no.  
"What's wrong"  
"Just, I dunno." she began, "A whole bunch of things Craig. Being back here, ya know"  
"Look don't worry about anything." I reassured her, "Everything will work out"  
We arrived at Joeys at about 3:15. It was so quiet in the neighborhood. It made me a little paranoid. After getting our stuff out of the trunk the driver drove off. Hopefully Joey hasn't changed the locks. I slid my key in the lock and it opened right up. I walked in and Manny followed. Immediately the stair light came on. It was Joey coming down rubbing his eyes. "Hey Joey." I smiled. I didn't know what else to say.  
"Craig," he paused and got a closer look, "Manny"  
He was all the way down the stairs now, "What are you guys doing here"  
"What kind of welcome is that?" I asked.  
"I'm happy to see you and everything, just, you should have called me or something." he looked over at Manny, "You were with Craig the whole time"  
Manny looked at me then smiled, "Sort of"  
"Does anybody know your back." Joey asked her.  
"No"  
"We're going to handle all of that later." I spoke.  
"Craig can I talk to you for a minute"  
"Sure." we walked away from Manny, more towards the living room.  
"I hope you don't plan on having her stay here." Joey said a little bit louder than a whisper.  
"I did, yea"  
"No way. That girl can't stay here"  
I started to get a little mad very quickly. Like in seconds.  
"That girl." I spoke in a normal tone. Manny heard me, "You speak of her as if she's a stranger"  
Joey looked over at Manny because she obviously heard. He walked more towards her.  
"Manny I'm sorry." He began, "Sweetheart you should probably be with your family now"  
"She has no family." I said raising my voice.  
"Craig shhh, before you wake your sister"  
Too late.  
"Daddy what's-" Ang began but she stopped when she saw me, "Craaaiiig." she ran to me and I picked her up. She was squeezing my neck so tight.  
"Craig I missed you"  
I put her down, "I missed you to sweetie, more than you would ever know." She took a look at Manny and went for her.  
"Mannyyyy"  
"Ang, hi." Manny said hugging her back.  
"Ang, why don't you get back to bed honey"  
"But daddy"  
"Angela." Ang made a frown and went back upstairs. Joey waited until he heard Ang's door close before he spoke. "Like I said I'm sorry"  
It was silent for a moment.  
"That's real fucked up Joey." I was headed for the door.  
"Craig." Joey said. I guess he was shocked or something.  
"Craig, where are you going"  
"If she can't stay I don't." I picked up the suitcase, "C'mon Manny"  
We walked out.

MANNY POV

I don't blame Joey for not wanting me there. I knew things couldn't possibly go that smoothly.  
"Sorry." I said to Craig. I felt bad. We were standing on the corner with a huge ass suitcase.  
"Baby don't be sorry. You did nothing wrong." Craig said to me as he had a seat on the curb. He pulled out a cig and lit up, "Joey's an idiot"  
I had a seat next to him. He held his cigarette to my mouth so I could take a puff. I'm assuming this is a first for Craig. I myself, have gone through many nights when I had no idea where I was going to go. Neither one of us said anything. 10 minutes went by. Craig had his head resting on his knees. I guess he was doing some serious thinking. His head finally came up.  
"Manny, do you wanna get an apartment"  
Oh my. I soooo didn't expect him to say that. That's such a big thing. A huge responsibility.  
"Manny." Craig looked at me.  
"We would have to get jobs"  
"No we won't." He stood up. I looked up at him.  
"At least not right away." He began. He had a huge smile on his face, "I have plenty money. We could pay for the rent in advanced or something"  
It always makes me a little nervous when Craig gets radical like this. It's a great idea though. I would love to live with him. "Are you sure you wanna live with me?" I asked him. He grabbed my hand and pulled me up to him.  
"Of course I'm sure." I smiled, "O.k." He spun me around. He seemed so happy.  
"This is gonna be great Manny." He put me down, "You'll see." He grabbed my hand and the luggage, "C'mon lets celebrate."

CRAIG POV

"I know at this point we're basically homeless but I'm still very happy Manny." I said to her holding her hand. It was so late at night. We were walking in the middle of the street and didn't have to worry about cars coming.  
" We are together. That's all that matters. We're gonna get an apartment, and I'm gonna work, and you wont have to. You can run errands all day and have my supper ready when I get home. It's gonna be great, perfect. The way it should be." I continued. Manny was smiling. "And one day, when the timing is right, we're gonna have a baby"  
"Whoa whoa." Manny laughed, "No kids for me"  
"I disagree. You're having my baby, (pause) bitch." I told her. She playfully nudged me in the side, "We'll see about that"  
We were on our way to one of the 24 hour liquor stores. I don't have a fake ID or anything. Hopefully the guy will give me a break.  
"Any request?" I asked Manny as we approached the doors. "No. I just want vodka"  
"I'll be right back." I went in. Manny stayed outside and had a cig. There was nobody else in the store. I went and got a couple of bottles, then to the counter to pay. The guy at the counter was a young guy. Hopefully he'll understand.  
"This all for ya man"  
"Yea"  
"ID please"  
"Ah, I forgot it. Can you hook me up"  
"Sorry man"  
I walked out of the store, liquor-less. "You couldn't get it?" Manny asked.  
"Nah, we'll try another one"  
She took a puff of her cigarette then threw it down.  
"I got this." She smiled and winked at me. She took the money from my hand and went in the store. When she walked in her body language did a 360. Totally different. It made me wonder how she was going to get it. She walked right up to him. They were talking. She laughed, and she tossed her hair, and threw her head back like what he was saying was the funniest shit that she had ever heard. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. She leaned over the counter and was saying something to him. He was smiling at her. I wonder what she was saying to him. He couldn't take his eyes off her. A1udden burst of anger/jealousy came to me. Not just about what she's doing in this liquor store but her being a prostitute. I'm sure she did that kinda shit all the time. That's probably some cheap hooker move she's doing. She pulled it off. She was on her way out of the store with bottles in hand. She came out and gave me the money back.  
"Here ya go." She started walking. I just looked at her. She stopped when she noticed I wasn't walking.  
"C'mon"  
"How'd you get him to give it to you, and without paying for it?" I asked her. She walked back to me.  
"Craig, I did learn a thing or two." She smirked as if I was suppose to be amused, or happy. Why would I be happy that my girlfriend got us some liquor by using techniques that she learned when she was whore. I can't believe she just made a joke about that shit. I was so happy a minute ago and now I'm pissed. She started walking again. I walked with her. We are going to stay in a hotel until we get the apartment. We caught a bus to downtown Toronto. The hotels are pretty good in this area. I didn't say much to Manny on the way there. She didn't seem to notice either. We got off the bus.  
"Which one do you want to go to?" Manny asked me.  
"I don't know. Just the first one we get to I guess"  
We walked down then stepped in the first one we came to. I went in and they had one available. Our room is on the 2nd floor. It was nice. I placed the stuff down. Manny, of course, broke out the bottles and started drinking immediately. She's always been like that.  
"C'mon, drink up." she said then handed me the bottle. I took it from her. I need it. Hopefully it will calm me down. Manny kept drinking and drinking. She doesn't half ass anything. Ever. 30 minutes later Manny was wasted. So was I. I assumed that the drunkenness would help me forget about how pissed I was about the whole prostitution situation but it didn't. Manny managed to stumble over to the bed where I was sitting. She pushed me down and got on top of me.  
"C'mon baby, this fuck is wayyyy over do." She smiled then leaned down to kiss me. She started kissing my back and slowly went down to my chest. I liked it. And she was right, this fuck was way over do. We haven't had sex since we got back together. I couldn't help but think about all the other guys that she has let fuck her since we were apart. Could be 20, could be a 100. Fuck if I know. She reached her hands down my pants. Of course my dick was hard. . She sat up and was smiling, rubbing it. I'm just so angry. I mean I love Manny, with all my heart, but she's almost damaged goods to me. It's fucking disgusting. Something came over me at that very moment. I let my anger get the best of me. I flipped her over so that I was on top. I ripped her pants open. The button popped in the air. Manny "ooohed" and "ahhhed" just like a whore would. Her pants slid right off. No underwear. Most people that know her know that she does that a lot. I looked in my wallet and there was actually a condom in there. I put it on and slid my pants down.  
"Oh I can't take it any longer." Manny spoke in soft sultry voice, "Put it in"  
I kept having mixed emotions. My first thought was Oh, how I want to, but that quickly turned into What a slut, she craves dick. I was gonna put it in alright. I wanted a reaction from her. I put it in really hard. I couldn't believe that I did that, that I actually just tried to hurt her. I felt guilty for a second but I was interrupted by Manny smiling and arching her back, making sounds of enjoyment. What, she's liking this. I started to put it in and out even harder. It didn't seem to affect her what so ever. I just started fucking her. Not being gentle at all. Treating her like the whore she had become.  
"Oh my God Craig." Manny moaned, "Don't stop, don't stop"  
I looked down on each side of me and I could see her clinching the sheets into a fist. I grabbed her hair and pulled it, tight, then started to stick it in even harder. As hard as I could. Manny finally started to make sounds of discomfort. I could tell she wanted me to stop but was going to try and hang in there. It was probably something she was told to do by her pimp or fellow prostitutes, no matter how bad it is you stick it out. What a bunch of bullshit. I kept going. I finally got the reaction I wanted.  
"Craig," She whimpered almost, "Stop"  
Of course I heard her, but I didn't listen.  
"Craig." She said again, "Please. Stop"  
I wanted to stop, but I didn't. I don't know what I was trying to prove to her or myself.  
"Craig." she cried.  
I kept going until I came then stopped. I got off of her. Manny got up immediately.  
"What the fuck is your problem?" she cried as she put her jeans back on. I didn't say anything to her. I'm still very drunk and I know she has to be if I am.  
"What was that?" She asked.  
I still said nothing.  
"Craig"  
I got up and walked her way.  
"You are my problem." I told her, "You disgust me"  
She was looking up at me. Her eyes were glass. Completely stunned.  
"Why don't you tell me all about your time as a prostitute. I'm just dying to know." I said kind of sarcastically but in a way that meant that I actually wanted to know, because I did. Manny did some sort of a laugh/cry. Like a laugh that broke through her tears out of nowhere.  
"So, that's what this is about." she spoke through her cracky voice.  
"Of course that's what this is about. Did you think that I would be fucking happy about it"  
She put her head down in shame.  
"Well, go on." "Go on what." She spat.  
"Tell me"  
"Fuck you"  
"No Manny, it's more like fuck you, right"  
She didn't say anything.  
"I'm waiting." I said. I was going to get answer. "Do you hear me"  
"Do you really wanna know"  
Damn, she may actually tell me.  
"Yes. Enlighten me"  
"You're right. It is fuck me. I've been fucked by everyone." Manny said with a strange tone. She was upset but it was foreign to me. "By my parents, by those assholes in California. For at least a month I went through hell. Getting my ass kicked, raped." God as stupid as this sounds I never thought about the bad she must have endured. What is wrong with me?  
"Oh, lets no forget the biggest fuck of all." She continued through her tears, "You. You Craig, congradu-fuckin-lations"  
She walked passed me.  
"Manny I-" I reached for her but she snatched away from me and went on into the bathroom, shutting the door. I'm so stupid. What the fuck was I thinking treating her this way. I heard her throwing up. I'm surprised she had not done it sooner. She drank more than half a bottle. I went. She was on her knees with her arms leaning over the bowl. She sat down. She looked pitiful and pale. I slowly sat next to her. She was probably super pissed at me. Her head was down. I'm sure It was spinning the way a drunk persons head eventually starts to spin. She started crying more. And I'm the reason why. I feel terrible. My typical male ego and jealousy. I never wanted to be that type of guy. I touched her knee and again she flinched away from me.  
"Leave me alone." she spoke semi softly. It's understandable why she doesn't want me to touch her.  
"Manny, I'm so sorry I hurt you." I approached this apology cautiously, "I don't know what came over me. Call it a guy thing, I don't know. I'm just really sorry"  
Her tears dried up a little. She looked at me then back forward.  
"I'm an idiot. Please, will you forgive me?" I feel like such an asshole. Giving her these sorry excuses that don't even come close to what I just did. She put her hand to her stomach and about 3 seconds later had her head back at the toilet bowl. I held her hair back while she puked. I started rubbing her back. When she was done she went to sit back down but I picked her up instead. I carried her to the bed. Her eyes were closed. I pulled the covers back and placed her down then covered her up. She never answered me about forgiving me.  
"Goodnight sweet girl." I kissed her forehead. No response. It made me nervous but I let her sleep. I started to feel sickly myself. But I didn't throw up though. I laid down before it could get to that point. I laid next to Manny, putting my arm around her. I pulled her super close to me. I fell asleep. When I woke up, Manny was already awake. She was sitting in a chair eating candy and looking in an apartment finder. She must have gone somewhere while I was sleeping. She was dressed. She noticed me.  
"Good morning." she spoke.  
"Morning." I responded. I didn't know if she was still mad or what. I wouldn't blame her if she was. I got up and walked over to her to sit on the arm of the chair she was sitting in.  
"What ya got there"  
"An apartment finder. There are so many choices"  
She was acting normal. Maybe she doesn't care. Not knowing was killing me. I had to say something.  
"Manny, about last night, I-" I began but she put her finger to my lips.  
"Just, forget it." she was looking directly into my eyes. Extreme eye contact. I couldn't handle it. I looked away.  
"But-" I tired once more. Once again she stopped me.  
"Drop it." she demanded. She stood up and gave me a kiss. A sweet candy kiss. I could taste the candy on her lips.  
"Mmmm." I expressed as I pulled away. She smiled. I sat in the chair completely and pulled her on top of me. We started looking at the book.  
"We should try to look at some of these places." Manny said. It wasn't that late in the day. We could.  
"Do you want to?" I asked.  
"Yea"  
"O.k. well uh let me get dressed and we can." I got up and went to get ready. I didn't take long. We left the hotel within minutes. That was the beginning of a 3 day long house hunt. We finally decided on something. Well let me take that back, Manny finally decided on something. It was so cute how she was so picky and indecisive. The place we went with was perfect. It was right in the middle of everything. Great part of town. The rent was 795 a month. We were happy to get out of that hotel we were staying in. It finally came time for the final papers to be signed. After that we are free to move in. We both became a little edgy. I guess from lack of drug use. Manny much more so than I. Nothing to annoying but I was going the extra mile to appease her so that I could avoid major bitch fits. I was getting ready to leave to go sign the papers.  
"Manny are you going to come?" I asked her. She was sitting on the edge of the bed tapping her foot. "I cant take this." she got up and put on her jacket, "I need to get high"  
I stopped her, "Whoa, whoa. Where are you going to get something"  
"From some of the people I use to hang out with"  
"Well wait on me and I can go with you." I tried to tell her.  
"I can't wait that long"  
"It wont even be that long. At the most an hour"  
"I don't care." she started getting a little, well, how she gets. She was getting her phone and shit. "Shit Manny. Just chill out. You can wait an hour"  
"Fuck that. I'm leaving." she was about to leave. I don't even know why I tried. She always does what she wants to do.  
"I'm going to try my best to hurry things up. I'll call you when I'm done"  
"O.k." she was opening the door.  
"Wait. Come here." I told her. She walked back over to me.  
"What?" She hissed.  
"I love you." I pulled her into a hug, "Be careful." I gave her a kiss.  
"Love you to. Bye." She was gone.

MANNY POV

I was walking down the sidewalk outside of the hotel. I was racking my brain on who to call. I didn't want to call anyone that would make a big deal about anything, but I did want to call someone who was nice. I'll try Hustler, even though he fucked up everything. Asshole. I took out my phone and dialed his number.  
"Hello." he answered.  
"Hey"  
"Who is this"  
"It's Manny"  
"Holy shit. For real. Where ya been girl"  
"Here and there. How you been"  
"Cool Cool. Where are you"  
"Downtown right now"  
"You should come see me"  
"Oh yea"  
"Hell yea"  
"Do you have any crystal?" I asked him. Please say yes.  
"Of course"  
"I'm there"  
"Alright well see ya soon"  
"Bye"  
Great that worked out perfectly. I took the bus to get to his apartment. Was there in like 15 minutes. Nothing has changed on the outside. I knocked on the door. No one came. I had to knock again. I finally got an answer.  
"Hold up, don't leave." I heard Hustler yell. Awww I did miss him kind of. He opened the door.  
"Hi." I said.  
"What's up?" We gave an awkward hug. I stepped inside.  
"Is that her?" I heard a voice from the back say. I knew that voice. I could never forget that voice. It was Roxy's voice. She came out from the hallway. "Manny, hi." she put her arms around me. She looked so different. Sooo skinny. She seriously looked like she only weighed about 95 lbs. She had baggy eyes. Dark circles. When I hugged back she felt so small in my arms. I thought I was going to break her. It was so weird being around her after what happened last time we saw each other. Oh well.  
"Hey Roxy"  
We pulled away from each other.  
"Se-xy." she smiled, "I'm lovin the red hair"  
"That is hot." Hustler agreed.  
"Yea. It is isn't it." I playfully said.  
"Well have a seat. Lets catch up." Roxy said. I went to sit on the sofa with her. Hustler sat in the chair.  
"Like old times." Roxy happily said, "So Manny, you actually went to California. I was suppose to go with you." she made a sad face.  
"Yes I know. Trust me, be happy you didn't"  
"Why, what happened"  
"Long story. I rather not." I wanted to change the subject, "Did you spend the money we saved bitch?" I playfully said. She laughed.  
"Duh. Long gone"  
"Figured that." I said.  
"How's school?" I asked her.  
"Well, uh," Roxy began.  
"Her ass dropped out." Hustler finished.  
Roxy laughed, "Are you going back"  
"No. Me and Craig both have missed like 2 and a half months. More for him actually. So we have pretty much lost this year"  
"Manny I really did miss you." She grabbed my hand, "You really are the best friend I have ever had"  
Here we go again. I'm so over best friends. I'm sure she's waiting for me to say it back. My best friend is Craig Manning. No one else.  
"How sweet." I smiled. She accepted. "Oh my God." Hustler dragged, "You guys have always been so sickening"  
Me and Roxy laughed. This reunion was cute and everything, but, I was on a mission.  
"So, how are sales?" I asked Hustler to get the drug convo going. I took off my jacket.  
"We don't sell anymore." Roxy told me, "But the shit we got is fire." she got up to go get the crystal I'm assuming. My assumption was correct. She started laying it out in a mirror.  
"Who did you get it from?" I asked.  
"You know Jay right? He goes to Degrassi. " "Jay Hogart!" I responded shocked. Things have defiantly changed.  
"Yes girl, him. He has the best shit and, he doesn't just sell crystal. He sells a lot of good shit"  
Roxy laid out 6 lines. 2 for each of us.  
"Here. Try some"  
I picked up the straw that was on the table and snorted one line. Gah damn. I think I literally felt the whole being made in my brain. It was strong. My nose started bleeding a little. Nothing to bad.  
"Honey your nose." Roxy noticed. She got me a tissue.  
"Thanks." I wiped my nose, "It's so strong"  
Hustler leaned down and snorted his. He came up rubbing his nose to, but it wasn't bleeding. Roxy did hers. My nose bleed didn't stop me, I did my other line. It was just as harsh as the first one. I didn't care. It was going to be a good high. It was a little quiet. I went over to their stereo and was going to pick out some music. I picked something very like rowdy. "Nice pick." Roxy said. This was all so weird. I couldn't believe I was back here, with Roxy and Hustler. So surreal. The crystal hit me hard. I missed it. That energized feeling. Incredible. The high got better within the next 20 minutes. Completely there. My phone rang it was Craig.

CRAIG POV

I was finally calling Manny after signing the final papers. That happy feeling that I had the other night came back to me.  
"Hey." she picked up. I heard loudness in the background.  
"Hey. I'm done"  
"Great"  
"Where are you"  
"I'm at a friend's house"  
"Where at"  
"Hey, is it cool if Craig comes here?" She asked the people she was with. They said yes.  
"They got some good shit baby." Manny said happily. I'm glad she was enjoying herself. She gave me the directions and I headed there. I got there in no time. I knocked on the door.  
"It's open." a guys voice yelled. I walked in. The guy was sitting on a sofa in front of the t.v. playing a video game. He looked to be really into it.  
"Uh, is Manny here?" I asked him. He looked at me.  
"Yea. She is." He said looking back towards the t.v., "Are you Craig"  
"Yea. What's your name"  
"I'm Hustler"  
He seemed cool.  
"Nice to meet you"  
I heard footsteps coming.  
"(gasp) Craig you're here." Manny smiled. She ran to me and gave me a hug. I hugged her back. She came out with a girl. I recognized her.  
"Hey there." I pulled her away from me. Her eyes were super dilated. She looked so happy, "What are you doing"  
"Nothing." She spoke like she was guilty. It was cute. "Come meet Roxy." She told me. The girl walked over to us. "This is the lovely Roxy"  
"Hi" I told her.  
"Hello." she responded.  
"That's her boyfriend Hustler." Manny pointed.  
"We've met"  
There was a super energized vibe. I went to sit down on the sofa. Manny went down the hallway and came back. She sat next to me.  
"Here." She put some drugs on the table, "Try this"  
"They don't mind?" I asked Manny. I was referring to Roxy and Hustler.  
"No, no. They're cool"  
I took the card that was on the table and smoothed the lines out more. I snorted 2 lines. It burned like a motherfucker. "Whoa." I expressed. Manny smiled.  
"Good right"  
I nodded in agreement.  
"Guess who they got it from…Jay Hogart!" Manny told me.  
"For real"  
"Yes"  
That was weird. Jay, a drug dealer. The crystal was strong and I felt it. It wasn't long before I was all into the video game along with Hustler. Manny and Roxy had music blasting, dancing all over the house. They were being silly. We did crystal for hours. We were so restless obviously. Hustler is a pretty cool guy. Before we all knew it, it was sometime in the a.m. I had no idea so much time had passed by. Me and Manny probably needed to go back to the hotel so we could get out of there and get into our apartment.  
"We're gonna get out of here." I said.  
"Yea, we probably should go." Manny agreed. We all had kind of come down by now and was back to normal.  
"Make sure you call me as soon as you're settled." Roxy said to Manny.  
"Oh I will." Manny reassured her. We headed for the door.  
"See ya later man." I said to Hustler he waved, "Roxy." I waved at her. She waved back. Manny said bye and we were out. No one was out. It was so late.  
"They were nice." I told Manny holding her hand as we walked down the sidewalk.  
"Yea, they are great. She was suppose to come to Cali with me"  
"Why didn't she"  
Manny sighed, "We got into this fight because Hustler kissed me. I told her, and when she confronted him about it he turned it around and said I kissed him. Of course she believed him and not me"  
"Sucks"  
"Yea I know." Manny started smiling, "But its all good now"  
Manny is so forgiving. It was a little cold outside. I pulled Manny closer so she would be a little warmer. I think it helped. I loved walking late at night with her. No disturbances. She was being so quiet.  
"Whatcha thinking about?" I asked her.  
"The apartment, you, a lot." she looked at me, "I'm so happy we can live together. It's my dream come true"  
"I'm happy we can live together to. This is what we needed. Things are going to be great for us." I assured her. We got to the hotel. We were completely restless. Not sleepy at all. That's what sucks about crystal. You need pills or something to help you rest. Manny got undressed and snuggled in bed to watch t.v. After a cigarette I joined her. There wasn't much on. We both were just so wired. When daylight came around we were like yes. I don't know why it was so important to us to finish out that night in the hotel. Weird. We got dressed and made sure we had all of our stuff, then checked out. We rushed over to our empty apartment. Manny threw her stuff down and started spinning around on the white carpet. She looked so happy and excited. She stopped.  
"Craig this is all so fantastic." she said then ran to me to hug me. I hugged back. "So picture perfect"  
"Baby I know." I agreed, "You should probably take a look around. See where you want to put everything"  
"Oh man," Manny let me go to look around, "I forgot all about furniture"  
"Well we don't need much. Just like a dining set, a sofa and a couple chairs. Bed, t.v"  
"Cool cool. When do you want to go and get all of this stuff?" Manny asked.  
"We need it all soon. Like today"  
"I guess you're right"  
"Lets go"  
We were out of there. All though I wasn't really sleepy I was so tired. Its like we have been moving constantly since we got here. I can't wait until we are done with all this so I can just chill and get high. We ended up going to tons of furniture stores. Manny couldn't decide on what she wanted. In the end she picked the most expensive stuff which was at the first store we went to. The store delivers that day. They said they were going to deliver it between 4:00 and 6:00 p.m. We went back to the apartment because we wanted to be there when they go there. It was so quiet in the empty space. We were having a cigarette on the balcony.  
"I'm a little hungry. What do you want to eat?" I asked Manny. Manny's eyes lit up. She exhaled.  
"(gasp) Lets have a dinner party. We can invite Roxy and Hustler and I'll cook." She expressed. "Can you even cook?" I asked her. I've never even seen her prepare cereal.  
"Well it cant be that hard." she shrugged her shoulders, "I'll get a cook book or something"  
"O.k. then"  
"Great." she smiled taking another puff of her cigarette, "I should probably go to the store then"  
"Yea. I'll stay here and wait for the furniture to come"  
Manny finished her cigarette then walked over to me and held her hand out. She wanted some money.  
"Well I guess you think I'm just a regular fuckin atm machine don't you?" I playfully said. Manny roled her eyes.  
"Anywayz." she spoke. Her hand was still out. I reached in my back wallet and gave her some money. She smiled and gave me a kiss.  
"Get some stuff." I told her.  
"Uh o.k. duh." she was gone.

MANNY POV

There are so many people at this fucking grocery store. I hate crowds sometimes. Hopefully I can just be in and out. I grabbed a basket. I wonder what I should cook. Maybe like chicken and rice with like broccoli or something. Yea that sounds good. I can bake cookies for desert. This is almost a little fun. I was shopping for me, for the dinner I was going to cook. I want some wine but its probably not a good idea to try and buy it here. I got the chicken and the veggies, some candy, ice cream, chips. Like all the essentials. Some toilet paper and kitchen wear. All that stuff. I was headed to the line when I heard my name. I didn't even have to look . I knew who it was. It was Emma. My heart skipped a beat. I was about to turn around and have to face her. I just did it. She had a little pooch on her stomach. She probably was about 3 months pregnant. Maybe more.  
"Hey Emma." I spoke. I pushed my basket over to her. She had the most expressionless look on her face.  
"When did you get back?" She asked monotone. "Like almost a week ago"  
She was giving me the coldest look. "Why didn't you call me Manny? I called you twice a day for a month." I didn't know what to tell her.  
"I'm sorry. I didn't have my phone. I didn't know you called"  
"You knew you were staying in California. Why didn't you tell me? I was so worried and scared for you. I thought you were dead"  
I was speechless.  
"Emma I-" I began.  
"You know what Manny, save it. I'm so tired of worrying about you. Our friendship has always been me worrying about you, pulling you back together again after you fuck up. You're so inconsiderate. I'm done." she stopped talking. I couldn't believe this. It was hurting me so bad to hear this. She was still standing there.  
"You're dead to me." she said finally and walked off. Jesus. I never thought that me and Emma would be over. Well I guess I knew that this day would eventually come. There was nothing I could do. I wheeled my cart over to the checkout line and began putting my groceries on the counter. I got my bags and headed home. A sad journey home. Emma's words stung like bee stings.

CRAIG POV

The furniture people came about 20 minutes after Manny left. That was fast. They were bringing in the furniture one by one. Very organized. Wasn't taking long at all. Manny walked in with the grocery. Her demeanor changed. She had a sad look on her face. I hope nothing bad happened.  
"Hey" I said as I walked over to her. I moved the hair out of her face, "What's wrong? Are you o.k"  
She gave me her best fake smile, "Uh huh"  
I could see right through that. She put the grocery down in the kitchen and walked into the living room.  
"Things are coming along nicely in here." she said. I walked in there next to her.  
"Are you sure?" I asked once more.  
"I'm fine"  
Normally I would push the issue more but I didn't want to upset her so I let it go. I went in the kitchen and looked through the bags. She actually got some good stuff.  
"Have you called Roxy and Hustler yet?" I shouted to her.  
"No. I probably should"  
She stepped out on the balcony to call them. I put the groceries away. The apartment came with a fridge already in it. The movers were almost done. They just had the recliner left. Manny was only outside for like 5 minutes. She had a smile on her face.  
"What did they say"  
"Well, I told them to be here at 8:30 and Hustler said he'd pick up a bottle of wine on his way." she said smiling closing the balcony door.  
"Cool." The movers were wrapping things up.  
"Thank you guys a lot." Manny thanked them.  
"No problem ma'am"  
"Thanks." I thanked them as well. They nodded and left. Manny looked around.  
"Craig this is amazing. I'm still in such disbelief"  
"Well believe it"  
I went over to plug the t.v. up and stuff. Manny was watching.  
"I suggest you get started." I smiled, "The guest, will be here soon." I said emphasizing guest. Manny laughed.  
"Oh yea"  
She went into the kitchen and started taking things out. After I got done with the t.v. I had a shower. When I came out Manny was cutting onions. It was so cute seeing her in the kitchen like that. I wish I had a camera. She put the onions in the same dish as the chicken, then in the oven it went. I was in the living room. She walked in.  
"Craig. Take that chicken out at exactly 8:00, o.k"  
"Yea yea"  
"Craig, I mean it." She said seriously, "I'm gonna kick your ass if it burns"  
I nodded in agreement. She went into our bedroom. I love saying our bedroom. It sounds great. At 8:00 I took the chicken out like Manny wanted. It looked and smelled so fuckin good. I got a fork and got a little. It was so good. I was truly impressed. I couldn't believe that Manny made this. I was so proud. I went back to the sofa. Manny of course took forever to get ready. It really is ridiculous how long she takes sometimes. She finally came out around 8:20. She looked great. She had on this really sexy black dress that I got her. She looked really mature in it. "Did you take the chicken out?" She asked pointing in the kitchens direction.  
"Yes." I told her, "Come here. Let me look at you"  
She walked over and stood in front of me. I stared at her intensely.  
"You are so beautiful"  
"Thank you." she said then sat down next to me.  
"No need to thank me. I'm just saying the obvious"  
Her smile makes me melt. I put my hand on her thigh and softly started kissing her lips. Her lip gloss tasted like cotton candy. I pushed her back a little and was half way on top of her. My hand started rising. At that moment the door knocked. Manny pushed me off her so fast. I guess she was like super excited or something. She went over to the door. When she opened it, it was Roxy and Hustler. Roxy had flowers and Hustler had the wine.  
"Come in, Come in." Manny smiled opening the door wide so they could walk bye. Manny gave them each hugs then closed the door. "This place looks great." Roxy expressed. Manny grabbed Roxys hand, "Let me give you a tour." They went off to look around. I stood up to greet Hustler, "What's happenin man"  
We did the hand shake hug.  
"Nothin. How about yourself"  
"Nothin"  
Hustler had a seat. Manny and Roxy came back out. The two of us had small talk while the girls set the table or something. Manny told us to come sit at the table.  
"I'll be bringing dinner out shortly boys." Manny said. She brought everything one by one. She didn't want anyone to help her. She then had a seat herself.  
"Ok, well, I hope you guys like everything. Enjoy"  
We all started eating. Everything was so good. Impressive. Everyone seemed to be enjoying the meal. "Manny this is truly excellent" Roxy expressed.  
"Yea Manny this is good as fuck." Hustler agreed.  
"Thank you." Manny smiled.  
We were all having such a good time, good conversations. It was great. We were buzzin from the wine. Just a good time. We finished our meal and continued talking. "Did you guys bring any crystal?" Manny asked them.  
"No." Hustler answered.  
"We can call Jay. He makes house calls." Roxy informed us. Me and Manny looked at each other.  
"O.K." I told her. She stepped outside to call him. She returned shortly. She sat back down.  
"I gave him the address. He's in the area"  
"Great." Manny said. Her and Manny got up from the table and started putting shit away. Hustler was telling me tales of how he use to deal with Manny and Roxy.  
"Manny," I said to get her attention, "I still cant believe your soft ass use to be a drug dealer"  
Her and Roxy came out and sat with us. "Yep. Me and Rox worked with the best of them." she began, "We made so much money"  
"Yea and people always thought Manny was a guy until it was time for them to make their pick up and then they saw that we were both girls. It was great." Roxy explained.  
For a split second I thought about how cool it would be if she went back to dealing but I dismissed it. Hustlers phone rang. Roxy picked it up.  
"It's Jay"  
"Hello." Roxy answered, "Hey what apartment number is this?" "14." Manny responded.  
"14." she told him, then hung up, "He's here"  
"That was fast." Manny said.  
Roxy went to hang out the door so that jay would see her. She came back in and he followed.  
"Hello everyone." He spoke. We all said hey.  
"Manny." He said looking at her, "I see you have been found"  
"I was never really lost. You still with Emma?" Manny asked him.  
"Nah she didn't approve of my occupation"  
"I see." Manny responded,  
"Have a seat man" I told him. He did. He could have sat in the chair but he sat on the sofa next to Manny.  
"So how much you buyin?" He asked.  
"2 ounces is good"  
He took out what he had. It was a lot. Manny looked hungry for it. He gave us 4 half ounce bags. I was getting out my money to pay him.  
"Don't you want to test the product?" Jay said.  
"We have had your product already. Passes with flying colors." Manny said flashing him a smile. He smiled back at her.  
"We'll since I know you guys, I'll give you a discount." "Really. Thank you." Manny showed her gratitude. That was awfully nice of him. I wonder if he would have done that if Manny wasn't smiling in his face like she was. She sure has a way with men. He told me the new price and I paid him. "Ugh. You never give us discounts." Roxy expressed.  
"Yea for real." Hustler agreed.  
"Yea that's because you 2 are the most annoying mother fuckers I have ever met"  
Me and Manny had a laugh. Roxy took the crystal wand was cutting it.  
Jay turned to Manny, "Seriously, they are. They call me like everyday and they give my number to random people"  
"Sounds like good customers to me. Well, besides the number thing." Manny told him. Jay shook his head, "Nah." He leaned a little closer to her. I'm sitting here watching this, "Are you a good customer?" Jay asked Manny. He said that to her in a weird way. "You bet." Manny assured him.  
I couldn't fuckin believe this shit. I think he was flirting with my girlfriend. Right in front me. He's got some balls. Manny got up to sit next to Roxy because she was pretty much done. Jay was watching her. That's a bold ass. "Jay." I said to get his attention off my girlfriend, "Do you have any lortabs"  
He turned my way, "I have some xanax"  
"Cool. Let me get about 10"  
He laid them out on the table. I was going to need those to sleep after doing the crystal. I paid him for those as well.  
"That all for you?" He asked.  
"Yea, thanks"  
"Well I guess I'll be getting out of here." Jay got up.  
"Have a bump or 2." Manny offered all sweet and nice. "No thanks. I don't get high." He told her.  
"Bye Jay. I'll be calling you tomorrow." Roxy joked. We laughed.  
"I know"  
They were all doing some lines so I walked Jay to the door.  
"Thanks again man"  
"No problem"  
He looked at Manny once again, "You're a lucky guy"  
"Uh thanks." I said shocked at his boldness.  
"See ya." "See ya"  
He left. I went to where the others were.  
"Have a bump or 2." I said mocking Manny. She was just coming up from snorting lines.  
"What?" She said rubbing her nose.  
"He was flirting with you"  
"Oh my god. Shut the fuck up." she said.  
"He was"  
"Whatever." She hissed. I dropped it. I did my lines and we all were high. Roxy and Hustler stayed for a long time. Hours. I didn't mind. I really enjoy their company. They left at around 3:00 a.m. Me and Manny took some pills then went to sleep. Of course we fucked for about an hour first. That night was the beginning of a serious friendship. Rox and Hustler were pretty cool people. We didn't have a car so Hustler would drive us around. They came over all the time. If they weren't here we were there. Crystal was always our motivation. We started seeing Jay on a regular basis as well. We weren't really friends. It was a typical dealer/customer relationship. I got use to his flirtatious behavior with Manny. What the hell? It got us discounts and that's always a plus. Money started going fast. I had rent and bills to pay so I couldn't buy crystal as much as I use to in the beginning. We tried to go with cheaper highs like pills and drinking a lot, but that could only do so much. In the end we need a real drug rush. Manny seemed to crave it more than me at times. Hustler sometimes stole things and then sold them to get money. He would actually get paid a nice amount. He finally talked me into helping him out one day and I got a pretty nice cut. I went home.  
Manny was laying in bed a little anxious and edgy. She needed to get high. We both did. "Hey." I said to her.  
"Hey." She got up. "Look." I showed her the money. She was happy.  
"What the fuck are you doing here?" She smiled, "Go to Jays"  
I kissed her then left to pick up some shit. Jay had gotten his own apartment. He lived close to Roxy and Hustler. I took the bus there, fidgeting the whole time. I was hoping Jay was home. I don't know why I didn't call first. Thank God his car was there. I knocked on his door. He opened and I stepped in.  
"What's up?" He asked.  
"Nothin. What's up with you"  
"Nothin"  
"Where's that sexy girl of yours?" He asked me.  
"Home. Can't sit still." I informed him. Maybe if I make it seem like its for her more than me he'll hurry it up. I was very irritable and inpatient. I haven't done crystal in like 2 days now. I was about to lose it.  
"Aw"  
"Yea, so I need a couple ounces"  
"Things are slow right now. I don't have anything" he told me. No, no, no.  
"Are you kidding me"  
"No. My supplier is running short. Things are limited"  
Fuck. I so didn't want to hear this shit.  
"We-" I began but changed it, "Manny really needs it. She's sick"  
"I hate that to. I just don't have any." he was being all calm and shit. I was getting pissed.  
"Jay you have to have some. Not even a little bit"  
"Nothing"  
"Well I need something. Anything." I told him. I needed something. Coke, pills, whatever.  
"All I have is this." He pulled out some powder. I haven't really seen it before. It had a slightly brown color to it. Like a tan.  
"What is that?" I asked.  
"Heroin"  
"Heroin. Are you serious? I don't even know how to use that shit"  
"You can snort it, smoke it, or shoot it. Shoot it for a more intense high"  
God. I cant do heroin. That is like the worst shit anyone can do. Besides like crack.  
"You don't have anything else"  
"All I got"  
"(sigh) Alright I'll take it"  
I paid him.  
"How you gonna do it?" Jay asked.  
"I dunno"  
"Well here are some needles just in case"  
I accepted them even though I probably wasn't going to use them.  
"See ya man." I said.  
"Bye." I was out. It made me extremely nervous to be walking around with heroin in my pocket. I felt like everyone knew. I couldn't get home fast enough. When I walked in Manny was sitting on the kitchen counter with her head down. She hopped off when she saw me.  
"Did you get any?" She asked walking up to me.  
"Nah"  
"Ugh." She began with an attitude. She can be so bitchy sometimes, "Craig, why the fuck not"  
"You can just chill the fuck out." I closed and locked the door, "Your shit isn't necessary"  
I walked over and had a seat at the coffee table.  
"Excuse me." Manny came over. I looked at her.  
"Would you just stop bitchin for a second"  
She didn't say anything.  
"He didn't have any crystal." I reached in my pocket, "But he had this"  
"Heroin. You actually brought some heroin"  
"That's all he had"  
"Oh so what if next time all he has is crack? You gonna buy that to"  
I didn't say anything to her. I took the needles out of my pocket. Manny was shocked.  
"I cant believe you. You're going to do that shit?" She asked in disbelief. She calmed down a little. I couldn't believe I was going to do it either.  
"Yea. Just until Jay gets some crystal"  
I think Manny thought that I had changed my mind.  
"Well don't expect me to be apart of it." Manny said then stumped off to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. Whatever. I just needed to get high. I wasn't going to use the needles. I'm going to snort. I put some out and cut it super fine. It looked like powdered sugar by the time I was done with it. It probably was going to burn so I prepared myself. Since this was my first time doing this drug I didn't know how much was too much. Better safe than sorry. I made 2 thin lines. There was some bills in my pocket. I rolled it up and put it to my nose. I was seriously nervous. But here goes. I bent down and snorted them. I really didn't feel anything right away except the drip and the sting. It burned, but not as bad as crystal does. Some minutes later it hit me. It was the best feeling that I have ever felt in my life. I sat back on the couch. It was heaven. It was better than sex. I can't even describe how it feels. There are no words to explain it. Every inch of my body was affected. I heard Manny open the door. She walked over and stood in front of me. She looked at me. I don't know what she came in to initially say but she changed her mind when she saw the bliss I was in.  
She sat next to me. I saw her smile. I looked over at her.  
"Baby." I smiled and licked my lips, "You gotta try this"  
"Well what is it like?" She asked curiously. It took me awhile to answer. Not because I was thinking, but because my response reflexes were off. "Incredible. Crystal is shit compared to this. Complete opposites"  
"Really." She said wide eyed. I nodded. She sat back and was smiling. I guess she was thinking about it.  
"I want to try it"  
Of course she wants to try it. Hypocrite. I was starting to nod off a little bit. Not really going to sleep but just I was sooo relaxed. Manny got up then came back. Her pouncing down on the sofa got my eyes open again. She had a spoon and a lighter.  
"What are you doing with that?" I asked her. "I have to cook it"  
I think she is going to use a needle.  
"Ugh, I cant see shit in here." She got her spoon, the heroin, one of the needles, and some water out of the kitchen. She went in the bedroom. I didn't want to but I got up and followed her. She was sitting on the bed.  
"Manny, what are you doing?" I asked sitting next to her. I really hope she didn't plan on shooting it. I don't have the energy to try and stop her.  
"I want to try it"  
"Why don't you just snort it"  
She wasn't even listening. She was putting some heroin in the spoon along with water she got form the kitchen. She lit the lighter and held the spoon over it. "How do you even know how to do all of this?" I asked. She looked like a pro. Once the liquid in the spoon started to bubble she put a small piece of cotton ball in the middle.  
"I was a drug dealer. I've seen people do heroin before." She got the needle and put the point in the middle of the mini cotton ball then drew back the plunger. I was watching her step by step. She stopped and scanned the room, her eyes stopped at my crotch. She reached for my belt, taking it off with one hand. I let her. She put it on her arm and tightened it up so her veins would pop up. I couldn't believe she was about to fucking shoot heroin. Mind blowing. A big green vein was poking out of her left arm. She put the needle against her arm. Pressed it down but hadn't stuck it in yet. She laughed a little.  
"I cant." she smiled, "Will you do it." she tried to hand it to me.  
"Oh no bad ass." I pushed her hand away, "Go ahead"  
"Craig, c'mon." she made a fake pout face, "Please"  
"Alright." I agreed. She smiled.  
"O.k. now when you stick it in, pull back a little to be sure you hit the vein." she told me. I grabbed her arm. I stuck the syringe in. She made a noise then looked away. I pulled back like she said and blood got in. I hit the vein.  
"Did you get the vein?" she asked, turning back around to look.  
"Yea"  
"Well," She breathed, "Go for it"  
I pushed down on the plunger. I watched the poison go into Manny's arm. I didn't take my eyes off it until every drop was in, then I took the belt off. Her eyes rolled back. She slowly started falling backwards before she just fell the rest of the way onto the bed. This was freaking me out. I didn't know if she was overdosing or what. "Manny." I called her name. She didn't really move. I was really getting freaked out. I kind of got on top of her and grabbed her face.  
"Manny. Manny!" I said it louder. She still didn't answer. I was scared now. What if she died, right here in my arms. I started shaking her. "Manny, c'mon, wake up"  
Still nothing.  
"Manny, you fuckin bitch wake up." I said shaking her really hard. Her eyes slowly opened. She half smiled, slowly blinking.  
"Oh my God Craig," She spoke, I made a sigh of relief and got off her, "I'm in love." She slowly breathed. She said it super sexy actually. All that yelling and shaking nearly blew my high. It didn't though. I grabbed Manny's arm and sat her up.  
"You must try it my way"  
"How do you feel?" I asked her. She was sitting up now with her head resting against the head board. She lifted it a little. It looked as if her head weighed like 100 lbs.  
"Out of this world. The best way I can describe it is," She took a second to think, "O.k. you know how when your sleeping and you first wake up and you do that morning stretch? You know how good it feels"  
"Uh huh"  
"Well imagine that. But lasting longer, and feeling 100 times better. But, ya know, that still doesn't even come close to how I feel right now"  
"See there. You were being a bitch to me about it and now you love it"  
"Awww." Manny said turning to look at me. She slowly started moving. She straddled me. "I'm sorry baby." She started kissing me, "I'll do anything you want to make it up to you"  
"Anything?" I said then kissed her back.  
She stopped and looked at me, "Anything"  
Hell yea. Under any other circumstances I would have taken full advantage of her, but I was wayyy to high to focus. We both were, the kissing stopped and we both just kind of laid down and stayed there until the high was over. When it was we got the rest of the heroin and rushed over to Roxy and Hustlers. We banged on the door.  
"Jesus Christ." Roxy said opening the door. Us knocking on the door that hard was probably annoying.  
"Is Hustler here?" Manny asked as we walked in.  
"Yea"  
"Hustler." Manny yelled for him to come in the living room.  
"What up"  
"You guys." Manny made a happy sigh, "Me and Craig tasted perfection today . It came in the form of a little drug called heroin"  
"What!" Roxy asked shock.  
"I know, I know, heroin sounds very intimidating, I was scared too when Craig brought it home. But I just know you guys will love it. I promise." Manny explain.  
"Manny I don't know." Roxy began, "That's a big deal"  
Manny went and gave her a hug, "Roxy it's fine. I know you may be a little scared, but, ya know, you're my friend and I just want you to have this great experience"  
Manny was being very convincing. Roxy gave her a smile. An approving smile.  
Manny smiled back, "That's the juice"  
Hustler never needs convincing to do anything. He's always down for whatever. Really laid back.  
"Well since it looks like everyone is in agreement, I'll prepare everything." Manny stated then went in the kitchen, returning with a spoon and water.  
"You want us to shoot it?" Roxy gasped.  
"Well, yea. The high is a lot better that way." Manny said, "Duh Roxy. Don't act like you don't know"  
Manny continued with what she was doing.  
"Craig, Hustler, I need your belts." Manny told us. We took them off. She was done. She loaded the syringes and everything.  
"Those needles are fresh." I thought I should tell them. Manny handed one to Rox and the other to Hustler. Hustler stuck his in. He kinda had the same reaction as Manny. The falling back and such. Rox just watched. She was being a little hesitant.  
"(sigh)Oh sweet Roxy. Give me your are." Manny was sitting between them on the couch. She reached for Roxys arm . Rox gave it to her and Manny shot her up. What is with girls not being able to shoot themselves up. Strange. Rox, same reaction as Manny and Hustler. I actually couldn't wait to shoot it. The problem with that is that Jay only gave me 3 needles. Rox and Hustler used 2 and Manny used the other one at home, which means if I wanted to shoot, I would have to use Mannys. I've only been using heroin for 1 day and already I'm considering sharing needles. I guess it's o.k. It's not like it's someone I don't know. It's my girlfriend. Besides I love her. I'll take anything she has to give me.  
"So baby, you ready to try it my way?" Manny asked me. "Oh wait, there no more needles"  
"It's o.k." I told her, "I want to use yours"  
She got up and walked over to me, "Are you sure"  
"Yes." I answered.  
"O.k. well I'll get it ready for you, or do you think you got it"  
"I got it"  
She went back to sit next to Roxy while I got my shot ready.  
"Oh my God girl, I feel like I just had 20 orgasms at one time." I heard Roxy say to Manny. Manny turned to Hustler.  
"What about you, you like?" Manny asked him. He just nodded. He was really liking it. I had my syringe ready. I don't know why I was a little nervous. I stuck it and pushed down on the plunger. It was absolute heaven. So much better than just snorting it. I mean I didn't even know it was possible to feel this good. My eyes were closed. I was oblivious to everything going on around me. Someone could have come in and killed the 3 of them and I probably wouldn't have noticed. Manny came and sat on my lap. She put her arms around my neck. I put mine around her as well.  
"It's good right?" She said to me.  
"Definitely"  
We all loved heroin. Even more so than crystal. Crystal was fuckin child's play compared to this shit. That rumor that the first time you try it, you're hooked is so true. We all fell hard for it. It's almost scary how powerful it is. Every penny we had went to our addiction. The first 2-3 weeks was all fun and games, but after that it just became different. The heroin was still good and all, its just things changed. I'm like, well I guess the stereotypical term for it is a "junkie". We've all lost some weight. Manny is just as skinny as Rox now. Me and Hustler have gotten a little scrawnier. We haven't even been doing it that long. Maybe like a month and a half. I guess from the appetite that we have permanently lost it seems. We see Jay all the time now. I'm just waking up. It's like 6:00 or so. I barley keep up with dates and time anymore. We're are suppose to go visit Ang today. Joey called and said she wanted to see me. Manny was already awake. I noticed her getting some clothes.  
"Where ya goin?" I yawned. "To Jays." "And when were you going to tell me?" I asked her. There's no telling what would happen if I let her go by herself. I started getting up.  
"You are so paranoid." "Well I have reason to be"  
I took a piss and then we were on our way. We took the same bus on the same corner every time we went to Jay's apartment. The driver was always friendly. We got to Jays apartment. We didn't call but it was cool. Manny walked in first.  
"Hello beautiful." Jay said greeting Manny. He always talked to her like that. And it wasn't like he was some super nice guy that gave women compliments or anything. He never acts that way around Rox.  
"Hi." He gave her a hug and she accepted.  
"What up Craig?" He finally said something. He always pretends that I'm not around.  
"What up"  
Manny had a seat on the sofa, I on the chair. Jay put his heroin on the table. "How much?" He asked. We told him the amount and he cut it for us.  
"Do you mind if we fix here? We aren't going straight home." I asked him.  
"No. Not at all"  
Of course he sat right next to Manny. Me and Manny both were cooking. Mine was ready a little faster than hers. Manny started rolling up her sleeve and was tying up her arm with a string. She was having a little trouble.  
"Let me help you with that." Jay offered.  
"Oh no it's o.k." Manny tried to tell him.  
"I insist." "O.k"  
He just wants an excuse to touch her. I was sticking the needle in my arm. I looked up at Manny. He had Manny's arm in his hand. He was rubbing it. He lifted her hand and kissed it. I really want to say something but I know I shouldn't. I pushed down on the plunger. Jay stuck Manny's needle in and injected her. He took the tie off her arm. Heroin is still so good to me. Well to us. I love it. And Manny, well she has a love affair with everything she does. As soon as we were straight enough we were going to leave. We were still high but were cool.  
"Jay we're gonna get out of here." I said standing up. I went and helped Manny up.  
"Thank you so much." Manny thanked him. She was doing the whole sleepy eyelid blink thing. I hope she stops that before we get to Joeys.  
"It's my pleasure." Jay said to us, well Manny.  
"See ya"  
We were out. We walked half way to Joeys house. I wanted to give Manny more time to straighten up. "Wait here." Manny said to me. She stepped into a store. She returned 5 minutes later with some a toy. It was like a teddy/doll/cookie or some shit I don't know.  
"What is this?" I asked her.  
"It's for Ang"  
"Ohhhhh, o.k"  
That was a nice gesture. Manny is so thoughtful. 1 of the many reasons I love her. We took a bus the rest of the way. I didn't feel comfortable just walking in anymore so I knocked. Ang opened the door. Her eyes lit up.  
"Craig!" she squealed. I picked her up. I really did miss her. She's such a sweet happy kid. When I tried to put her down she wouldn't let go. Joey came out. I tried to put her down a second time and she let go.  
"Hi Manny!" Ang's sweet angelic voice spoke. She hugged her. Manny gave her the gift. Ang loved it.  
"Hello Craig. Manny." Joey spoke to us.  
"Hey"  
"Hi." we both responded. I shut the door and we all went in the living room. Me, Manny, and Ang had a seat. Joey stood.  
"How are you guys?" Joeys asked us. I haven't talked to him since we got back here that one night.  
"O.k"  
"Where are you living"  
"We have an apartment"  
'Ohhh, can I come?" Ang asked me. Our apartment is defiantly no place for a child.  
"Oh ummm, we'll see sweetie." I answered.  
"You guys are living there, together?" Joey asked as if that was some horrible thing. "Um yea." I answered. Joey shook his head, "O.k"  
"Are you in school Craig"  
"No, I've already failed. I'm just going to go back next year"  
"So what is your plan?" He asked. I don't have an answer. I never came up with a plan. "I don't really have one"  
"I'm assuming you don't have a job either. So what are you going to do Craig"  
God, he just kept coming at me with these questions that I wasn't prepared for. It was making me very uneasy.  
"Look, I just came to see Ang." I told him hoping he would drop it. He didn't.  
"So you have no plan." Joey kept on, "And Manny what about you?" He turned his head to her direction, "Are you in school or working"  
Manny always panics. I hope she doesn't say anything stupid.  
"That would be a no and a no." she answered. I guess that wasn't that bad.  
"Do you guys buy food? You both look very malnourished"  
"Joey," I almost snapped, "We're fine. You can stop with all these f- (pause)," I looked at Ang, "questions." I could tell Manny was starting to feel a little uncomfortable as well. I stood up, "I'm gonna go. I have things to do"  
Manny started to stand as well.  
"But Craig you just got here. Don't go." Ang stood up and said. I feel really bad now.  
I kneeled down so that I could be eye level with her, "I'll be back. Soon. I promise." I gave her a hug. She hugged back. When I pulled back this time she let go and seemed very disappointed. I hated doing this to her but I just wanted to get out of there before something started with Joey. I stood back up. Joey seemed to be disappointed as well. Oh well, he's an adult. He can handle it. I motioned for Manny to come on. When we got to the door Ang said something.  
"Bye Craig." she said sadly with her bottom lip poked out. Awww.  
"Bye." Me and Manny walked out.  
"Awww. Ang is so sweet." Manny said.  
"Yea." We went home and did nothing. We just waited until it was safe enough to get high again. That's what we always did. Day after day. Wake up and get high. Then let it ware off, go to Rox and Hustlers, get high there. Then we all come back to our place get high again, then after they leave, me and Manny get high and go to bed. Wake up and do the same shit over again. The money is completely gone. We have pawned everything we have just to get some money. I'm surprised we have the t.v. left. Of course the money went straight to Jay. After about awhile of pawning there was nothing left. Me and Manny get into little fights all the time because there are never enough drugs and we're dope sick a lot. Jay was nice enough to let us pay on credit. He let us have a tab. Personally I think it was just so Manny could still come around. It's getting pretty high. I'm a little worried about how I'm going to pay him. Rox and Hustler are here now. We are all waiting on Jay to come over. He was suppose to be here like 20 minutes ago. I don't know about Rox and Hustler but me and Manny haven't gotten high all day. It was defiantly fucking with us. Jay finally came like an hour after he was suppose to. We heard a knock and Manny rushed to the door.  
"Thank God." She opened the door, "I thought that you would never get here"  
Jay walked in. Manny walked away.  
"Not that I'm rushing you or anything." Manny turned around and said with her cute smile that she was blessed with. I'm sure Jay liked that. Jay turned to me and Hustler, "So how much do you guys want this time"  
"How much can we get?" I asked him. I hope he gives me a set amount.  
"As much as you want." He spoke casually. I hate it when he doesn't give us a set amount. Of course I want a lot, but I don't want to seem greedy. I always have that running tab in the back of my mind.  
'Is 3 ounces o.k." I asked him.  
"Sure"  
He had a seat. He weighed 3 ounces on his pocket scale to make sure it was the right amount then handed it to Manny and the others.  
"Thanks. I was dying." Manny said as she accepted the death in a bag.  
"And we wouldn't want that, would we." Jay responded. Jay normally delivers and then he leaves, but today he decided to stick around. Manny started cooking, as well as, Rox and Hustler. Strangely my spoon that I used all the time was nowhere to be found. I looked for it for a couple minutes and just decided to get one out of the kitchen. Manny never did any fuckin house work. I had to wash a spoon. All this was seriously delaying me. Everybody else was laid out, high. Jay was just standing around. Very awkward. He came into the kitchen where I was.  
"Craig I need to talk to you for a moment." Jay said walking in.  
"O.k"  
I knew he was eventually going to say something to me about the money that I owed him. I don't know how I'm going to pay him.  
"You know Craig, your tab is pretty high." He said leaning against the counter. I was right. We're having the money talk.  
"Yea." Is all I could say.  
"O.k. so we both know that it's almost outrageous"  
I didn't say anything.  
"Correct?" He spoke to get a response from me.  
"Correct." I answered.  
"What do you plan on doing about it"  
"Ya know, I don't know. I'm dead broke"  
"I've noticed"  
We both just stood there. This became very odd.  
"We have a problem then don't we? Problem being that you want to continue to get high and I want to get paid"  
I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say.  
"Ya know there is a way to solve all of this. I've been thinking about this for awhile." Hell yea. Jay is about to make me a drug runner. This is perfect. It's going to be the shit. All the free drugs I fuckin want.  
"Really. What?" I asked semi wide eyed. He didn't answer. He looked at me directly in my eyes intensely then, what seemed like it was in slow motion, he looked over at Manny. She was in the chair alone, away from Rox and Hustler. He then looked back at me with the same intensity. No way. He couldn't possibly be suggesting what I think he's suggesting.  
"Did I miss something?" I asked so that he would actually tell me what he was thinking.  
"Manny is a very beautiful woman. I have always had an eye for her"  
I was speechless. I couldn't believe that I was being put in this situation. "No way. Absolutely not"  
"Well you have to do something. I've been giving you lot of leeway. Either you pay me or," He looked at Manny again, "Well you know the alternative"  
I got a little flushed, "I don't have any money"  
"I guess the decision's made then"  
"Manny's not gonna go for that." I tried to tell him. He didn't care.  
"You're her boyfriend, make her go for it"  
"Jay c'mon man there has to be another way"  
"Do you have the money?" He asked. I couldn't answer him. "Like I said, make her go for it." he said then patted me on the back. He started walking out of the kitchen. I guess he was about to leave. Before he did he leaned down and gave Manny a kiss on the cheek.  
"Bye. Everyone." He spoke then left.  
I walked into the leaving room and next to Manny.  
"C'mon get high with me." She spoke to me with her eyes closed. God she's so sweet. I just love her so much. I got high like everyone else. It was a great high but I had obvious distractions. Once the peaks were over we all kind of talked and smoked like we usually do. I stayed a bit quieter. I don't know if anyone noticed. Probably not, most of the time its just Rox and Manny talking anyway. Rox and Hustler got ready to leave so I walked them to their car. When I got back up to the apartment, Manny wasn't in the living room anymore. She was probably in our bedroom. Usually after they leave we have sex. I had a seat on the sofa and had a cigarette. I had so many things on my mind. When I was about half way through the cigarette Manny called my name.  
"Craaaaig." she whined.  
"What?" I answered.  
"Come to bed"  
"Give me a minute"  
"Hurry up." She demanded.  
I finished my cigarette as slowly as I could. After I went in the bedroom. I undressed and joined her in bed. I was just laying there. Normally I'm all over her. Manny came over really close and put her arm around me. She started kissing my neck, then my chest, then stomach.  
"Manny." I said touching her back, trying to make her stop. She was headed for my dick. As much as I love this, I hate this.  
"Manny." I had to physically push her off of me.  
"What is wrong with you?" She asked. I sat up, "Manny, why, are you like this"  
"Like what?" She asked me. I didn't know how to explain. She's just such a great person and she has turned into this sexual being. That's all people see her as. I use to be one of them. I'm sad to say that but it's true. That's all I use to want from her for awhile, before I got to know her. And she doesn't even try to do anything to change people's impression of her. She just goes along with it.  
"Craig." She said to get my attention, "Like what"  
"You're just," I tried again. "You're just, more. You're more than this Manny"  
Her expression changed. Like she wanted to laugh. She didn't though. "Craig, what the fuck are you talking about?" She asked me, laughing it off. That's another thing, she's never serious anymore.  
"Nothing." I told her. I laid back down. As did Manny. We went to sleep. The next day I tried avoiding the situation. We had drugs form last night left over. It was just enough to last us the whole day. The day after that we had no drugs what so ever and I was still broke. Manny was ready to call Jay but I told her no. it was a challenge, but I was able to keep a hold on Manny the whole day. She didn't call Jay, nor did she bitch about anything. Disregarding the couple times I had to regulate on her ass, she was actually quite pleasant. No attitude at all. It didn't last very long. By the next day we were both crabby as fuck. We weren't going through withdrawals or anything yet, but we were both pretty dope sick. We really needed to get high. I was gonna have to ask Manny to go to Jays. This is so hard. I can't believe I'm about to tell my girlfriend, who I love, to go fuck another guy. I was in the living room and Manny was in the kitchen having a glass of water. She was probably hot. We both were kind of clammy. I'm waiting for her to come back in here. She wasn't coming in here fast enough. I wanted to hurry up and do this while I was ready. I got up and walked into the kitchen. She was pouring the rest of her water in the sink. Despite the irritation she may have been experiencing, she managed to greet me with a smile. She's making this so hard for me.  
"What's up?" She smiled. I didn't respond. I walked over to her and gave her a hug and a kiss. "Being all mysterious are you." She said having no clue what was about to happen. I grabbed her hand and we had a seat at the table.  
"Manny we need to talk." I told her. "O.k"  
"You know I love you, more than anything." I started off with. "I love you to"  
"This heroin thing has taken over us. It sucks to admit this but we have become addicts"  
Manny didn't say anything. "It's come to the point where we're like willing to do whatever it takes to get it"  
"O.k." she said in a way that seemed like she wanted me to get to the point, not even knowing what the point is.  
"I'm going to get job, so we can be legit and pay for it without stealing"  
"That's great baby. Wow. I'll help you look for one." Manny said with all smiles. I wish she'd just stop for a sec. I'm all ready feeling super shitty here. She's making me weaker. But here goes.  
"Well, like I said, I'm going to get a job, but until then, maybe, maybe you could," Damn this is so hard, I literally couldn't get it out, "Ya know, maybe you could, go to Jay and work something out with him"  
Manny looked somewhat dumbfounded. Like she knew what I meant, but didn't want to believe that was what I was talking about so she tried to make herself think I was talking about something else. She blinked her eyelashes slowly. Its weird how this whole thing is in slow-mo to me.  
"What do you mean?" She asked me. I hope she doesn't make me come straight out and say it. I'd probably have a heart attack trying to.  
"You know, work something out with him." I don't even know how to say this shit. Manny's whole attitude changed. Completely.  
"No Craig. I don't fuckin know." She said like she was getting pissed. I was really nervous. I knew that this wasn't going to get any easier.  
"Manny, please. This is hard enough on me as it is. Don't make it any harder" I tried to explain. She got up. She had her back to me but then turned to face me. Her eyes were watery. "I can't believe you. You never cease to amaze me. You want me to go to Jay and make a fuckin deal and all you can say is how hard I'm making it for you." she said while trying to hold back the tears that were about to fall. I got up and walked over to her. "Manny, it's just I love you, and to even think about you with another guy is killing me." I said to her as I grabbed her arms to make her listen. The tears started falling. She couldn't hold back any longer. I was on the brink myself.  
"Your so selfish. How can you say you love me and ask me to do this." She said crying, trying to wiggle out of my grip. I don't even know how to answer her. "Manny, we both just really need this. I wouldn't ask you if I didn't have to. You know that"  
She didn't say anything. She just kept crying. There was absolute silence in the apartment so I heard every sob loud and clear.  
"Craig, I really don't want to." She pleaded with me. She got out of my grip and worked her way into my arms. She had her arms around my neck. Hugging tightly. I really hated asking her this. I am evil. I cant believe I'm doing this to her. I gently pulled her away from me to look at her eyes. They were filled with water.  
"Baby, I promise. It'd only be once. I will get a job. I swear." I told her. She worked her way back into my arms. "I'm so sorry Manny." I whispered in her ear. She cried while I held her for like 10 whole minutes. She started to dry up. She pulled away from me. She had a very blank look on her face. Her eyes were all red.  
"Are you gonna be o.k.?" I asked her. I didn't get an answer. She stood there a second then walked pass me into the bedroom, closing the door behind her. I couldn't help but wonder rather or not she was going to do it.

MANNY POV

I can't believe this. I never thought that I would ever have to do anything like that again. It really is a horrible thing to have to go through. You feel so dirty and skanky after. I wonder if Roxy has ever went to Jay to "work out something", as Craig put it. Craig said it all like it's suppose to be so easy. If the situation was reverse I don't think I could ask Craig to be with another girl. No way. I'm surprised Craig had the balls to even ask me to do this ridiculous shit, and he says he loves me. I really wonder sometimes. I'm going to do it. Not because Craig wants me to, but because I want the drugs. Now I'm going to be equivalent to a crack whore. I haven't gotten high all day, and after this I defiantly need to. This is something I could do. I've done it before, just this time it will be for heroin not money. It's like 8 o'clock. Jay is probably home. I'll go there, get the job done, bring the drugs home and forget about it. I want to get there quickly so I can get it over with. I had a quick shower. I didn't want to dress all sexy. Just jeans and a long sleeve button down shirt. I opened the door to walk out of the bedroom. Craig turned around to look at me. He was sitting on the sofa doing nothing. I didn't know what to say to him. I walked out and headed for the door. Craig got up and followed me.  
"Manny." He touched my shoulder to stop me, "Wait"  
I stopped. "Where are you going?" He asked me.  
"Where do you think I'm going"  
He looked down then back at me, "Manny, I really am sorry about all of this. Again, I promise you wont ever have to do this again." He said then came close as if he was going to hug or kiss me but I backed away and opened the door.  
"I'll see you when I get back." I told him.  
"I love you." He said. I didn't say it back. Not that I don't love him or anything. I just couldn't say it right then.  
"Bye." I said then walked out the door. It's a little chilly tonight and I wouldn't dare go back and get a jacket. I tried to think of other things the whole way to Jays. It didn't work that well. I'm trying my best to not get to worked up over this. I made it to Jay's and saw his car so I knew he was home. I knocked on his door.  
"Who is it?" He asked through the door.  
"Manny"  
He opened the door, "Hey Manny." He made a face, "You alone"  
"Yea. Craig uh, had some shit to do"  
He moved out of the way telling me to come in. We did the hug/kiss on the cheek thing. I had a seat on his couch. He sat in his chair.  
"What's up?" He asked me.  
"Nothing, just ya know. What's up with you"  
"Nothing at all, sweetness." He answered.  
I must have looked so stupid just sitting there like that. I wasn't saying anything. Jay got a few calls and he answered them.  
"Manny are you o.k.? You're acting weird." Jay said getting up and sat next to me. "Yea I'm fine." I told him. I don't know why I'm beaten around the bush, "Actually, I need to talk to you about something"  
My heart just started beating so fast.  
"What about"  
"I was wondering, if maybe, we could, make, some sort of a deal"  
"What type of deal?" Jay asked me. This is so difficult. I don't know if I'm going to be able to get this out.  
"Ya know, we could work out a different type of payment perhaps"  
"Well do you have anything in mind"  
God Jay. He wants me to just come out and say it. He's a drug dealer so I know he gets sex offers all the time.  
"Yes, I do"  
"Oh and what is that?" Jay said smiling. I don't know if he was smiling because he was laughing at me or what. I would definitely hope not. "Well maybe you could give me some drugs and I'll give you something in return." I told him. If he doesn't get it by now, he's just trying to fuck with me.  
"What would you give me?" He asked. Ugh. I'm not actually going to say "Fuck you for heroin." I guess I'll just show him. I started unbuttoning my shirt. Jay didn't look to surprised. I'm sure he knew that I was going to do something like this eventually. I straddled him and took off my shirt completely. I started kissing his neck, I could feel his hands touching my back.  
"Manny I really wasn't expecting this." He said to me. I had no response. I just kept kissing him. He was rubbing my back and my ass. He tried to kiss my lips several times but I wouldn't let him. Kissing is way to intimate. He picked me up and carried me into his bedroom. He put me on the bed. This was becoming realer and realer to me. I was about fuck another guy yet again while with Craig. Even though Craig told me to do this I still feel like I'm cheating on him. I'm going to try my best to stay cool so this isn't weird for Jay. He had gotten a condom. He climbed on top of me.  
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Jay asked me. There's really no turning back now. I nodded. I can feel how emotional I'm getting but I must get a hold of myself. Jay came down to me and started kissing my stomach . He got to my jeans and sat up to unbutton them. I lifted myself up so that he could slide them off. He did with ease. He unbuttoned his pants and lowered them so he could put the condom on then came back down to me. I put on a fake smile and ran my fingers through his hair. He was rubbing my chest and got down to my thighs. I was waiting for him to get on with it but he was taking his time. Finally he started messing with me down there and he stuck his dick in. It wasn't small but it wasn't super huge either. It wasn't going to make me to uncomfortable, physically that is. He looked at my face to see how I was doing. I tried to make him think I was fine. He started going at a steady pace. I was really trying to make him think I was into it when really I felt so dirty and low. Another guy that I can add to the list that seems to never stop. I hate myself. Jay started to get really into it. I was avoiding looking at him because my eyes were getting watery. It wasn't Craig I was having sex with, it was some other guy. My fuckin drug dealer. I reached up to wipe some tears off my face. Jay noticed. He stopped and leaned down to kiss my cheek. I didn't really know what was about to happen. He got off me and stood to put his pants back on. I don't think he got a chance to come. My nose was sniffly. I sat up.  
"Jay, I'm so sorry. Really, you must think I'm so stupid." I said through my cracky voice. I started crying even more. I was so embarrassed. I couldn't believe I was in this situation. I couldn't believe Craig put me here. Jay was just looking at me. I didn't know if he was mad or what. He reached for my hand and I gave it to him. He helped me stand and gave me a hug. I just couldn't stop crying. "Did Craig ask you to do this?" He asked as he held me. I just nodded. He was stroking my head. We stood there hugging for awhile. He pulled away from me.  
"Why don't you get dressed, k." He said giving me the cheer up smile and left the room. I put on my pants. Jay returned with my shirt.  
"Thank you." I told him.  
"No problem"  
My tears were pretty much dried up by now. My eyes had puffed up so easily. Weird. I was completely dressed.  
"Again Jay, I'm sorry." I tried apologizing once more.  
"Don't be. Craig was an asshole to even ask you to do it. I'm no better than him because I accepted. I'm sorry." Jay said. I didn't know what to say. This was all very strange. Jay is actually being a nice guy.  
"No need to apologize." I told him. He grabbed my hand and we walked out of his bedroom into his living room. He lead me to his sofa and told me to have a seat. He went back into his bedroom. He came back with a shit load of drugs in his hand. He sat next to me. There were pills, coke, heroin. Everything. He took out his scale and measured out bout 4.5 ounces of heroin and put it in a bag.  
"Here." Jay said trying to give it to me. I couldn't accept that. As bad as I wanted it, I couldn't.  
"Jay I can't. I don't have any money"  
"I don't care. I'm giving this to you." He said sincerely.  
"(sigh) Jay I-" I tried again.  
"Take it Manny"  
I accepted. I cant believe how nice he is being. "Thank you. I really appreciate this"  
He smiled, "I know." He put all of his shit away and came back, "C'mon, I'll give you a ride home." He had his keys. I stood up and like positioned the heroin perfectly down my pants. That was a lot of heroin to have just on you like that. Jay had his door opened. I walked out with him. We walked to his car. He opened the door for me which was a shock. Jay isn't some jerk like most people think. He's really nice and giving. I really didn't have much to say. It was very awkward. I'm still al little cry-ish I guess. I've always been so emotionally weak. One of my biggest flaws. Jay didn't have much to say either. I hope things don't get all weird between us now. We were decent friends before. When we got to the apartment I didn't get out right away. Jay turned his car off.  
"Thanks, for the ride." I thanked him.  
"It was my pleasure"  
I gave him a smile and opened the door to get out but Jay stopped me.  
"If you ever need anything, or a place to stay or something, you can come to me." he said in a very reassuring way. How thoughtful. I smiled once more and got out. I headed up to the apartment. He had not driven off yet. He probably was waiting for me to go inside.

CRAIG POV

Manny had been gone for like an hour, maybe longer. After the first 30 minutes it hit me that she was probably there fucking him as I sat here doing nothing. I tried to occupy my mind with other thoughts but all I could do was think about him touching her. I'm sure he didn't hold back at all, seeing how he has probably wanted to do this for who knows how long. I can't believe Manny went there. I honestly don't know what I would have done to get her to go if she had refused. I heard the door opening. It was her. I went to greet her. She turned around after shutting the door. Her eyes were all red and puffy. She had been crying. She looked me directly in the eye then walked passed me into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her. I probably shouldn't follow, but I don't want her to think I don't care. Obviously she wants to be alone. I just sat back down on the couch. I really wanted to get high but I don't want to disturb her. I'll just wait until she comes out or something. She may not even have the shit. I heard the shower turn on. That confirms it. She definitely fucked him or she wouldn't be taking a shower. For a second I got grossed out and angry. He's another guy that she can add to her endless list of sexual partners. But I stopped myself, she did it for me, for us, and for that, I am so thankful. Hopefully when she's done she'll come out and be like here. I waited and waited. She had not come out, I had not gone in there, and the shower was still on. It had been on for like 45 minutes. What could she possibly be doing in the shower for that long. I'm going in there. When I walked in the bedroom the bathroom door was wide open.  
"Manny." I yelled. I wanted to let her know that I was coming in. She didn't answer.  
"Manny." I tried once more. Still no answer so I went and walked in. Her clothes were on the floor and she was slouching in the tub with the shower pouring all over her. Her eyes were closed and the needle was sitting on the arm rest. A nice size bag of heroin was on the floor. I hate it when she's irresponsible like this, she could easily drown being high in this water like that.  
"Manny," I sighed as I walked over to her. When I touched her she was ice cold. The water was freezing. I turned it off then lifted her up.  
"Manny what the fuck, your gonna get sick." I said annoyed. This was really stupid of her. She was so loaded. She was trying to push me away. I went to get a towel, only to find a dirty one. I went back in the bathroom. I wrapped the towel around her and got her out. I put her on the bed and tried my best to dry her off. Again she tried to push me away.  
"Just, stop." She mumbled. She could barely fuckin talk. She picks the worst times to get all bitchy. "You need to put something on. You're gonna get sick and you know you cant go to a doctor." I said frustrated. We can't afford doctor visits. No insurance. "So what. Why do you even care asshole?" She slowly said snuggling up with a pillow. It took her like 30 seconds to say it. Heroin makes you so tired and slow. Usually I don't take any of Manny's shit, but I'm going to let this slide giving the situation we're in. Any other time I would have put her in her place. She fell asleep. I covered her and kissed her. I was happy she was back home. I went in the bathroom to get the heroin. Couldn't wait. Once I had it I left the room and closed the door, settling down on the couch. I couldn't get my needle loaded fast enough. Once it was loaded, stuck it in my arm, pushed down, and there was nothing but bliss. Pure excellence. It was so good I think I slipped in and out of conciseness a few times. I finally just dosed off. High sleep is like the best sleep you can get. It's like you're a little bit awake, but only awake enough to feel the high. The rest of you is sleeping, oblivious to anything but the way you feel. Some hours later Manny was fumbling in the kitchen. It woke me. All the nervousness that I had when she first came home returned. I hate feeling like this, but I brought it on myself. I got up shaking my head to like become fully awake. I walked in and she was standing in the refrigerator door having a glass of water. She was wearing a white tank and grey sweatpants. You could see the crack of her ass because the pants were about to fall off of her she was so skinny. She had pelvic bones sharp as a knife. We both have lost weight. Obviously it's the heroin, plus we never have food. We're like, accidental anorexics. She noticed me. Surprisingly she gave me a smile. She poured another glass and walked over to me.  
"Here." She handed it to me as she stepped on her tip toes to kiss me. I can't stand it when she acts like all is well when things obviously aren't. We just need to get it over with because I know it's going to come bite me in the ass later. I drunk a little water and handed it back to her.  
"Manny, we have to talk about this." I tried to tell her. Her smile went away she put the glass on the counter.  
"Craig, c'mon, just drop it." She said not facing me.  
I walked over to her, "We can't just drop it, it's not gonna go away"  
She turned around but I kind of was standing in a position where she couldn't walk away this time.  
"I did what I had to do, we got our dugs and that's all that matters. We can put this behind us." "No. I don't want you to resent me later, that is if you already do." I told her. We were both still pretty calm at this point.  
"I don't resent you Craig." She said looking to the side. I can tell when she is holding back.  
"You can tell me how you feel. I'm not gonna get mad." I promised her. I'm really going to try not to. "Craig, please, I don't want to do this." she begged. I could hear the frustration in her voice. She's so emotionally weak. Breaks down easily.  
"Manny-" I began, she tried to walk away but I stopped her, "Jesus Manny talk to me"  
Her eyes tiered up and her breathing changed. It hurts my heart to see her like this. I have seen it many times since I have known her but every time is like the first time. It's like she's a baby crying for someone to help her and fix everything. Her cry is very desperate. "Manny it's o.k." I said putting my hand on her arm. She was crying completely by now. She looked down, probably in shame that she shouldn't have to feel. She looked up with eyes full of tears.  
"It's o.k." I reassured her again.  
"How do you think I feel Craig?" She asked me. She sounded horrible. The way most people sound when they're crying and trying to speak at the same time, "My boyfriend, just asked me to fuck our DRUG DEALER, to get heroin. I feel like shit Craig"  
Here we go. I hope I can take it all. She began to get the sniffles.  
"Everything is so fucked up. (sniffle) I'm a fuckin junkie who fucks for drugs. (sniffle) You got a real whore now." She said, then holding her head back down crying her eyes out. She's mad at herself. I rather her be super mad at me than mad at herself over something I told her to do. I was getting emotional myself, but I had to stop. Definitely the wrong time.  
"You're not a whore Manny." I told her.  
"Fuck I'm not. I'm disgusting. A zero." She expressed. She thinks so low of herself. I cant believe it sometimes. I have no clue what to say. I was absolutely speechless. I wish that I had never even asked her to do it. I would give anything to go back and change what happened. I pulled her to me and hugged her. She didn't hug back really. She just stood there crying. Her tear drops were on my shirt. She started to cough and shit. Our immune systems are weak. We get like every illness and keep it forever. The crying and the coughing together was bad. I walked her over to the couch and sat her down. Heroin is the bulk of our problems but right now it's the only answer. It's our cure to everything. Getting high back to back is normal to us. Get high then the second we feel the high is warring off we shoot up again. Manny was still sobbing. I started cooking the drugs in the spoon. My needle was on the table, I filled it. I took Manny's arm and slapped it a couple times so her veins would be easier to get. I stuck in the syringe and filled her up with it. Her crying slowly was stopping as she was leaning back. I took the needle out and eased her down so she wouldn't go back to hard. Her crying stopped and she was just laying there. High as hell. Not sleeping. Just high. I'm sure all of the sadness she felt went away instantly. I snorted a really thin line. I didn't get high just ya know a little. Manny was loaded. The door knob twisted but it didn't open because it was locked. "KNOCK KNOCK mother fuckers." It was Roxy. We really don't need any company right now but they are here. I got up and let them in.  
"Hi boys and girls." Roxy came in all bubbly. Hustler was laid back as usual.  
"What's up." I told them both. They had a seat. Hustler in a chair and Rox by Manny.  
"Maaaaany." Rox said in a weird voice in Manny's ear, practically on top of her. Manny just waved her off. "What have you guys been doing? Besides getting high." Rox asked pointing at Manny. "Shit." I told her, "Just sitting around"  
"It's been so motha fuckin dead today." Hustler spoke. It hasn't been that dead, I pimped my girl out. "Yea." I agreed.  
Manny started to come around. She sat up and snuggled up with Roxy. That's what they usually do.  
"We have a lot of dope, you guys should do some." Manny kindly offered them.  
"No thanks, we got high before we came"  
We all just kind of sat around. There was nothing else to do. I much rather be at their house where there's at least cable and video games. We don't have shit here. Me and Hustler did our man talk, Manny and Rox did their girl talk. Around 4:00 a.m. they left. Me and Manny were alone. I didn't feel nervous or anything like I did before. I feel things were pretty much resolved. Manny yawned.  
"You tired?" I asked her. She nodded. I was too. I turned off the lights in the kitchen and living room then we both headed to the bedroom. Manny climbed in bed. I took my shirt off and climbed in as well. Me and Manny were facing each other. Typical pillow talk position, but neither one of us were talking. After about 3 minutes of just looking Manny finally scooted really close to me and I put my arm around her. We went to sleep. The next day we woke up and acted completely normal. As if yesterday never happened. We laughed and played in the shower. Our usual. I'm glad things weren't as weird as they could have been. We pretty much stay in the house all the time. It would be nice to get out. We scraped up some money and decided to go to the coffee shop around the corner. It was like 5:00 in the afternoon and a beautiful sunny day. Wasn't even that cold out side. Manny was all smiles as we walked down the sidewalk which made me smile. We got to the coffee shop. There wasn't many people in there. We went straight to the counter. I knew exactly what I wanted but Manny took a moment to look at the menu.  
"Uhhhh," she pondered, "An almond mocha." "Let me have an almond mocha and gingerbread latte." I told the person.  
"Ugh," Manny expressed playfully as we waited, " I don't see how you can drink that disgusting gingerbread shit"  
"It's better than whatever it is you got." I responded.  
"Here are your beverages, enjoy." The lady said handing them to us. We had a seat at the table by the window. Manny put her phone down on the table. Amazingly, even though our finances were shit, we were able to keep our cell phones. This may be the last month we have them though. "What do you want to do after this?" I asked Manny.  
It took her awhile to answer because she was sipping her drink, "I don't know. I know I don't want to go back home though"  
"I don't either. I guess we'll just leave and see where we end up." "Hopefully we end up at a park or something"  
"Yea." I agreed.  
We sipped our drinks and talked a little more. We were pretty much done there and were about to leave.  
"I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick." Manny said getting up.  
"K"  
She went. I leaned back in my chair. Her cell phone made the receiving message sound. I sat up straight. Her phone didn't ring so I knew it wasn't a voice message. It had to be a text. But who would text her. We don't know anybody. Rox and Hustler always call her, never text. I normally wouldn't snoop or be nosey or whatever but I wanted to know who it was. I checked to make sure Manny wasn't coming first then I took a look. When I pushed the button the message read: Hey Manny. I'm just checking on you, you were very upset yesterday. Remember if you ever need anything you can come to me. Later.  
When I scrolled down to see the sender it was Jay. What? "If you ever need anything you can come to me"  
What kind of shit is that. He has never text her before. I cant help but wonder what exactly went on yesterday for him to be so concerned that he had to check on her. I cant ask her. Me and Manny are over this and I don't need him sending her shit to make her think about it all over again. I pressed the delete button. I know that was wrong for me to invade her privacy like that but I think it was for the best. She came out right as I was putting her phone back on the table.  
"O.k. I'm ready." She told me still standing. I handed her the phone we left. We were walking down the sidewalk together. Manny was holding on to my arm. I wasn't saying much, I was to busy thinking about that text and what happened while she was there. Not only that, I don't want her to have to go to that asshole for shit. I want to be her savior. Maybe I could get away with asking her about it now. I don't know if I should though. I would definitively be pushing it. If she doesn't tell me this time I wont ask anymore.  
"Manny," I paused from being nervous, "seriously, are you o.k. ? Yesterday was insane. Are you sure there is nothing you want to talk about"  
She looked at me and still had a half smile on her face, "I'm fine." She answered. Damn. I really want to know. Oh well.  
"Well, just know that I'm here for you, no matter what." I told her. I really wanted to mean it.  
"I know"  
Manny and I just ended up walking around doing stupid shit. Nothing to enthusing. It was time for us to get high again. We were closer to Rox and Hustlers, so we just decided to go there. We continued walking and was there in about 15 minutes. Manny reached for the door knob and walked in. I followed behind her. Rox was at the table coloring a picture. When I looked to my right I couldn't believe it. Jay was there. I cant believe this. He was talking with Hustler.  
"Sup Craig." Hustler nodded. I couldn't say anything right away. I just couldn't believe he was here. I turned my head to Manny's direction. She was just as shocked I think. She looked at me with "what should we do" eyes.  
"Sup." I finally answered Hustler. Rox, being a woman, sensed the weird vibe instantly. "Hey Manny." Rox said.  
"Hi." Manny said nonchalantly. She's normally happy as hell to see Roxy. "Hello Craig, Manny." Jay said to us. I nodded and Manny did the fake smile/nod thing.  
"Manny come color with me." Rox said motioning for Manny to sit by her. Manny went and had a seat. They were doing their girly stuff which meant I was going to have go over where Hustler was. I can do this. It's not like I was never going to see him again. I'll just act as normal as possible. I walked over then took out a cigarette and lit up. So far everything is tolerable. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Manny and Roxy. They were really close because Manny was talking really low. Shit, I wonder if Manny is telling her. Roxy is like her best friend. I really hope not. Roxy glanced over at us, making eye contact at me then back at Manny.  
"Craig," Jay said my name. It got my attention, I turned his way. What could he possibly have to say to me? "Haven't seen you in awhile, what's been up with you"  
"Nothing." I said plainly.  
"Nothing," He smiled, "nothing interesting has happened lately?" He said sitting all the way up, "What'd you do yesterday"  
I was so close to fucking knocking the shit out of him.  
"Nah." I said calmly. Hustler started talking. I wanted to stay calm so when I was done smoking I pulled the heroin out of my pocket and walked over to the coffee table where Manny and Roxy were. I sat down on the couch. They were still on the floor. I left my spoon at home by accident. I noticed there was one on the table.  
"Could you hand me that spoon?" I asked. I didn't realize that the spoon was closer to Rox than Manny. Rox gave me a dirty ass look before she even moved. She got the spoon and kind of threw at me.  
"Thanks." I told her but she didn't respond. Manny didn't really look at neither one of us. She was ready to get high but didn't bring a spoon either. She got up to go in the kitchen to get one. Jay watched her walk by. He stopped talking to Hustler and followed Manny into the kitchen. I didn't know what to do. This whole thing was so awkward. He started talking to her. I couldn't hear what he was saying though. Manny was doing some nodding. He rubbed her arm as she walked by him. She came and sat back down. Rox got up and sat with Hustler. "I'm gonna get out of here guys." Jay said walking to the door.  
"See ya later man." Hustler said to him.  
"Bye." He said then left. Manny was done loading her needle and was about to inject. I finished mine and shot it. Hopefully this will take my mind off things. I just sat there, trying my best to enjoy it. Manny didn't use that much. She was high but still pretty lucid. We all kind of did our own thing. I played a video game, Manny actually ate. Rox and Hustler were in their bedroom. Heroin gives you cotton mouth like a bitch. I kept drinking water to try and avoid that which made me have to pee. I went to the bathroom. As I was washing my hands Hustler came in.  
"Rox told me what happened with Jay. What's up with that?" He said.  
Damn. Now they both know. They both probably think I'm a jerk.  
"I don't know." I answered sadly. I didn't know what to tell him.  
"Well how is Manny"  
"She's o.k. now, I think"  
"Damn. I don't think I would have ever let Roxy do some shit like that." He said shaking his head, walking out. I walked out after him. Manny was sitting down.  
"Manny c'mon." I told her. I couldn't handle being around everyone and they knew.  
"We're leaving?" Manny asked.  
"Yea lets go"  
She got up.  
"See you guys later." Hustler told us.  
"Manny," Rox said walking up to her. She gave her a hug, "If you need anything call me." She gave me a cold stare before she let go.  
"Bye." Manny told them. We walked out. We didn't talk on the way home. She kinda trailed behind me the whole time. We were back at the apartment. We still had not spoken to one another. I really wanted to know something though.  
"Manny." I called her name. "Yes." She turned around.  
"Why in the fuck did you tell Roxy?" I asked.  
"I don't know. I needed to talk to someone I guess"  
"Why didn't you talk to me?" "I don't know." She said with a sad look, "I'm sorry"  
"Well she told Hustler"  
"Oh," she looked down then back up, " I didn't think she would do that"  
"Why wouldn't she? He's her boyfriend. Girls talk to their boyfriends. Which is what you should have done"  
"I'm sorry." she said again. She was acting tired. Not sleepy tired but like she was tired physically. Run down. I walked over to her and hugged her.  
"Stop apologizing." I told her, "You've done nothing wrong"  
I wish I could read her mind. To really know what she's thinking. She pulled away.  
"I'm gonna lay down"  
She normaly never goes to bed this early. It's like 11:30. I hope she doesn't feel bad or awkward around me.  
"O.k. then." was all I could say. She went in the bedroom and closed the door, leaving me alone. I went to the couch. There was nothing to do. I turned on the t.v. and started watching 1 of the 6 channels we had without cable. Jay Leno was on. I couldn't stay focused though. I was thinking about Manny. I decided to go check on her. When I opened the door I was horrified. Manny was crying on the bed with a blade in her hand cutting her arm.  
"Manny." I shouted. I ran over to her and took the blade out of her hand, "What are you doing"  
She didn't answer. She just kept crying. She didn't even look at me. I went to the bathroom and got something to wrap her arm in. I grabbed her arm and put a towel on it. I sat next to her and pulled her to me. She actually hugged back. Tightly. We laid down. She was still sobbing. I just held her. She eventually cried herself to sleep like she had done so many nights before. The next couple of days were weird. Manny was acting all flaky and shit. I don't have a job nor have I stolen anything and the dope is almost gone. I need to do something. We haven't seen Rox and Hustler since that one day. I don't think I could handle the harsh stares of Roxy. But I do need to call Hustler and see if he could hook me up with anything. I'm trying my best not to get high that often because I want what we have to last as long as possible. But that wasn't working that well because Manny was getting high like 24/7. I'm a little stressed. I tried calling Hustler but I never got answers. I even left him messages. Knowing Roxy, she probably kept an eye on his phone and wouldn't let him answer it. His whipped ass. He never puts her in line. I guess I'm just going to have to go by there. Manny was laid out high as fuck. I grabbed my jacket.  
"Manny." she didn't respond, "MANNY." I said louder.  
"Uh huh." She barely opened her eyes. "I'll be back. O.k"  
She didn't really acknowledge me. She was to out of it. I left. I really hope Roxy isn't there. I'm not in the mood for any of her shit. I got there petty quickly. I knocked on the door and of course Roxy answered. She didn't open the door all the way. She just had her head out.  
"Yes." she answered all bitchy. I don't have time for this. I knew Hustler was there. His car was there.  
"Could you tell Hustler to come to the door?" I was trying to be nice.  
"He's busy. What do you want"  
"Well just tell him to come here. It's important"  
"What is it, I'll tell him"  
Roxy was trying her best to be difficult.  
"Roxy," I sighed, "Stop being a bitch and just tell him to come to the fuckin door"  
"Ugh, bitch. Fuck you asshole." she said loudly.  
"Who are you talking to?" I heard Hustler say. He got behind Roxy and opened the door all the way.  
"Your piece of shit friend." Roxy answered.  
Hustler came outside and shut the door "Sorry about that man, she's just a little mad"  
"Yea whatever, uh listen, do you have any jobs to do that I can help you with or anything? I fuckin need money bad"  
"Nah. Not at the moment"  
"Fuck. I don't know what I'm gonna do." I expressed.  
"We don't have any money either. The only money we get is the money Roxy's parents give her when she goes to visit them"  
We were both silent for a minute.  
"How are things with you?" Hustler asked concerned. I just shook my head.  
"How's Manny doing"  
"She's all fucked up." I answered. Again it fell silent. There's really no point standing here. I might as well go back home. "See ya." I told Hustler.  
"See ya." I walked off and he went back inside. I had so many thoughts in my head as I walk down the street. I had a seat on a bench to wait for the bus. I watched a lot of people walk by. They were laughing and smiling. I couldn't even remember the last time me or Manny laughed. It seems so long ago. The bus came. The usual driver. I sat in the very back looking out the window the whole time. I kind of wanted to stay on it for awhile. I really wasn't ready to go home yet. Me and Manny finished off the heroin in 2 days. I'm still penniless and had no idea what I was going to do. I thought about maybe going to Joey but I look like shit. He cant see me like this. We have only been without drugs for a day so far. I'm thankful that things haven't been as bad as they could've been. Manny has been a little fidgety. I have been feeling a little sick. It's like 11:15 p.m. I think. Manny went out on the balcony to go smoke a cigarette. Cigarettes that I stole from a gas station. I went out to join her.  
"Hey." I spoke.  
"Hey." She answered. I starting smoking. Neither one us were saying anything. But we didn't have to. We did all the talking that we needed to do with our eyes. If we don't have any heroin by tomorrow, it wont be nice. I think the longest we have gone without it has been like 2 days and that was complete hell. I felt like every bone in my body was about to break I ached so bad. Manny was having cold sweats and started running a fever. Neither one of us could bare that shit again. We both knew what needed to be done. Manny was finishing her cigarette and through it off the balcony. She turned my direction. I was just finishing my cig as well. She looked at me for a second then put her arms around me. I put my arms around her. We held each other. She pulled away, gave me a sweet peck on the lips, then went inside. I followed and had a seat. Manny was in the bedroom. I heard the shower turn on. She was getting ready. I feel just as bad as the first time. But what can I do? Manny didn't take very long. Maybe a little over 30 minutes. She came out dressed normal. Not super sexy or anything. She had on jeans, one of those little t-shirts that she wears, and her jacket. Her hair was still wet, pulled back into a loose bun. I stood up when she looked like she was about ready to go. I walked her to the door. Maybe I should go with her. It would be hard for me but she may want me to come.  
"Do you want me to go with you?" I asked her.  
She shook her head no, "It's probably best that you don't. It'd be awkward"  
"You're probably right." I agreed. She opened the door,  
"I love you." I told her. She stopped.  
"I love you to." she said then walked out. All I can do is wait for her to come back.

MANNY POV

Honestly, I'm not that shocked that I'm doing this again. From the second he asked me the first time I knew it would be something I did more that once. Craig seemed super stressed and I know he tried. I probably should have talk to him more. At this point I really don't care. It's not like I was never a prostitute in L.A. I guess it's true that when you become a hooker it's always in you. For life. It changes you. I'm almost at Jays. He probably knew that it wouldn't be the last time either. No more crying and shit. I'm just going to go in and get this done so I can get back to Craig. I made it to Jays. For some reason I got a little nervous. I knocked on the door. He answered right away.  
"Manny, hey." Jay answered. When he opened the door I noticed that there were people there.  
"Hi. Sorry, I can come back later." I really didn't want 2 have to come back though.  
"No no. They were just leaving. Come in." he moved so that I could walk in. I did and there were a couple guys there. I guess they were buying from him. "Guys this is Manny, a good friend of mine." Jay said introducing me.  
"Hi." I told them.  
"Sup"  
The guys were there for about a few minutes then started getting up to leave. "I'll be right back. I'm gonna walk them out." Jay told me.  
"Bye Manny. It was nice meeting you." One of them said.  
"Nice meeting you"  
Jay walked out with them and I had a seat. I took my jacket off. I don't know what I'm going to do when he gets back. He walked in almost immediately.  
"Sorry about that." He said closing the door.  
"Don't be." He walked over to me and kissed my cheek. He was putting all his scales and shit away.  
"How have you been Manny." He asked sincerely .  
"Fine and you?" "Likewise"  
"So, what brings you here?" He asked. Why is he asking me that? "Why else would I be here?" I hope I didn't sound bitchy. I didn't mean to be. Jay "How much do you want?" He asked.  
"As much as I can get"  
"Well how much money do you have"  
"I don't have any"  
"I see." he said finally getting why I was there.  
"Manny we don't have to do this." He tried telling me.  
"I want to." I told him. I cant believe how hard it is to fuck a guy these days. It seems like they are all resisting it. Maybe they are just resisting me.  
"Did Craig talk you into this?" He asked. I walked over really close to him.  
"Don't worry about that." I said then kissed him, "C'mon." I took his hand and pulled him along. We went in his bedroom, closing the door behind us.

It's been about a month and half. Things have definitely changed. I ask myself everyday how in the fuck did I get here. Craig never got a job. I cant say I'm not surprised. What kind of job was a high school kid going to get? Him and Hustler stole and sold to get money. Every dime Craig gets goes towards our rent. That leaves our drug problem. I'm still taken care of that. I see Jay on a regular basis now. Miraculously me and Craig still have cell phones. Jay gives me the money to pay the bill. Once maybe twice a week. This took some serious getting use to. Me and Craig don't really have sex that much anymore. I think we have like maybe 3 times since this whole Jay/sex thing began. It's not me, its Craig. He normally is all over me. Wants it like twice a day. Now he doesn't even touch me. The only touching he does is the hug and kiss he gives me before he sees me to the door to go get our drugs that we have become so passionate about. The little arguments we have are so stupid and childish. I love Craig. Very much. I know this must be hard on him so when he gets started on me I really don't talk back, I just let him get it out. Whatever he needs to feel just a little better. I really didn't think I would have to do it this so many times. Me and Craig don't even discuss it anymore. When we are close to running out, I call Jay and he picks me up or I go over. Me and Jay don't necessarily have sex all the time. Sometimes we have dinner or go out or something. On one particular night one of Jay's friend introduced me to speed ballin which is coke and heroin mixed together. It is the absolute shit. Royal shit. It's like you get all the effects of heroin but its better because your way more alert from the coke so you can feel and experience it better. Of course I introduced it to everyone and they fell in love. By everyone I mean, Craig, Rox, and Hustler. Rox and Craig finally got over their beef. They aren't exactly the same, but we all hang out together again. Rox now gives me shit about what I do. But I brush it off. I see she never complains when she has her nose in it. Four junkies cant do anything without the dealer on call which means Jay is over frequently. And when I say over, I mean over here. Him and Craig never really talk. Craig tries to make sure that he is fucked up the whole time. He mostly does just heroin, but in this past week he has been speed ballin. I focus all my attention on Craig when Jay is here. Sometimes it works and me and Craig are how we use to be. Happy that we are high and telling each other how much we love each other. I do talk to Jay though when I get a chance. We have become good friends. Everyone is here now. We are all speed ballin. Except Jay of course. We could probably run 20 miles between us all if we wanted. That's how hyper we all are.

CRAIG POV

"God Craig stop." Manny laughed as I bounced her on my knee. "No. You need to take a ride." I laughed her off. We are all so high. Actually we are kinda coming down. Its almost time for another dose. Still pretty rowdy though. Rox and Hustler are like eating ice cubes or some shit. Manny was getting mad in a playful way.  
"Ah." I smiled. Manny bit my neck to make me stop I did. I started tickling her. She was giggling.  
"Fuck that shit man." Jay said into his phone. It broke my smile. That motherfucker gets on my nerves. The only reason why he is here is because he provides our drugs. Rox came running out of the kitchen to the coffee table where we were, "Manny look at this. I just did some mad scientist shit. Look"  
I don't what the fuck she had. Rox had a seat on the floor.  
"O, O, O, O, O, k." Manny said being silly. She kissed me then got on the floor next to her friend. Hustler was freestylin and it sounded so good. I never really got into that type of music until I met those 2. I went over by him and just listened. I was just so fascinated on how he was laying down this poetic lyrical shit without any type of prep. It's all fresh.  
"Oh shit." Rox laughed. I heard a splash. "Dumbass." Manny laughed at her, "I'll get a towel"  
Manny got up and went in the kitchen. Of course Jay noticed. "Let me call you back." I heard him say in the phone. I stopped paying attention to Hustler. Jay got up and headed towards the kitchen, looking down at Roxy as he passed her. Hopefully Manny gets the towel and comes straight out. I moved to the side so that I could see. Even though I was kind of far away, I could see in the whole kitchen perfectly. Manny was just closing the drawer. She turned around to Jay standing in front of her. I hate to even see them talk. It takes so much for me not to kick the shit out of him. I try my best to ignore and just hope they stop talking soon. Manny was trying to walk away but Jay wouldn't get out of her way. Their interaction is making me madder and madder by the second. I know its more Jay then Manny all the time, but the way Manny acts makes Jay think that the flirtatious behavior is acceptable. It's like they are purposely teasing me. My ears are supersonic. I heard Manny tell Jay to move. Every time I thought Manny was about to look over to see if I was watching her I would look the other way so that it would appear that I wasn't. Jay had his hands on her waste. Manny's hands were on his arms trying to move his hands.  
"Jay, Craig is right there." She laughed as she tried her best to remove herself. Why is that bitch laughing? I could feel my temperature rising.  
"Jay seriously c'mon." Manny continued.  
"Let me get a kiss." Jay demanded. Manny better not be kissing him. Kissing is way to personal and important.  
"I'm not playin with you girl." Jay started, "Let me get a kiss"  
Manny continued to laugh. "Manny, I will degrade and humiliate you right here in front of everyone." Jay told her.  
"Oh my." Manny smiled, "I wouldn't want that now would I"  
She stopped resisting and kissed him. Not just a peck I mean I saw her stick her tongue out. She was really kissing him. The way she kisses me. Fuckin bitch. I headed for the kitchen bumping into Hustler on the way. My abrasive walking got Jay and Manny's attention causing them to stop, but it was to late then. With all my strength I pushed Jay across the room. He hit the stove.  
"What the fuck?" Jay responded getting back to his feet kind of. Manny's face was shocked. Rox and Hustler came in to see what was going on.  
"Everybody, get the fuck out." I told them. And meant it. "Craig." Manny said my name. No one was moving.  
"Get the fuck out of here." I shouted. Everyone was looking at me like I was crazy.  
"I don't have time for shit like this." Jay said and headed towards the door. Rox and Hustler followed behind him.  
"Manny, call me." I heard Rox say. When they were out I slammed the door.  
"What the fuck is your problem? You're acting like a fuckin psychopath?" Manny asked just after she entered the living room.  
"No bitch, what the fuck is your problem?" I said stepping to her, "You're fuckin kissing him and shit with no regard to how I feel"  
Manny made a sarcastic smirk, "Ha, how you feel. You amuse me. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't be seeing Jay in the first place"  
"I'm sure you eventually would have since you're addicted to dick. Girls like you cant get enough of it"  
"Girls like me?" Manny asked with her eyebrows raised.  
"Yea, whores." I told her. We are both so high and hyped up. I'm so pissed right now.  
"Call me a whore, slut, cunt, whatever. I really don't give a fuck"  
"Of course you don't. I don't expect you to." I started, "You love it don't you? Being used and shit. You probably cant get off if it's any other way. You probably fuck Jay, and all his friends, and there's no telling who else"  
"Are my feelings suppose to be hurt or something?" Manny asked.  
"Fuck you." I said standing next to the recliner. We have fights like this all the time. But this one is different. It seems like Manny is really trying to push me. I'm trying to calm down. My fist are clinched I'm so mad. It's so much built up anger. I tried to walk away.  
"Fuck you asshole." She said which made me stop and turn around, "Craig you're pathetic. You fuckin walk around here all depressed and boo hoo like I'm so suppose to feel sorry for you or some shit. I don't give a damn. If you were doing your job right I wouldn't have to go to Jay, sorry ass bitch"  
I don't know what came over me. Evil or something. I brought my hand back as far as it could and slapped the shit out of her. She fell to the ground. Even my hand hurt. It was like I didn't have control. Something beyond me made me do that. I would never hurt Manny intentionally. I started breathing really hard. Manny's face was down. I couldn't see her because her hair was covering her face. She put her hand to her mouth then drew it back. There was blood on her fingers. She then looked up at me. Her mouth was bleeding. She had tears in her eyes. I was frozen. One of her tears fell down. My mouth was wide open with shock. I looked at my hand, then her. I couldn't believe she was bleeding because I, of all people hit her. I love her. How could I do this?  
"Manny," I said as I grabbed her and stood her up, "You know I didn't mean to do that"  
Manny was still speechless with a face of stone, yet tears were streaming down like a faucet. "Manny I love you. You have to believe me." I told her still holding on to her. "Manny, please, you have to believe me. I never meant to hurt you"  
She's still not responding. I'm so scared. My heart is beating so fast. What if she leaves me? She could walk out that door right now. I would die without her. Manny wasn't wiping her tears or trying to get away or anything. She was just standing there. There's no telling what she was thinking. She was just looking at me. I couldn't handle the intense stare any longer. I pulled her to me and held her tightly. "Manny I love you."


End file.
